Since the thought of JC makes me vomit, I let Kate do up this poem for the Spazmasters birthday. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday to you JC
You are so seXXXy when you're beating me.
I love to make your birthday wishes come true
So I bought this kilo of crack for you.
Don't get too happy, there's more to come
I got you this whip, but the fun isn't done. Tie me up and make me your slave
I'll wear nothing but white tank tops and always behave.
I know you don't like to eat
But just the same these Reeeesseees are a special treat.
Don't go out getting high just yet,
There's one last thing you're going to love it I bet.
Close your eyes and count to three
It's a pillow for you, the infamous Mr. Sleepy.
I know you can't stand it Big Daddy, these nice gifts that I give
Here's a piano for your jazz versions, a conductors wand, without these I know you just can't live.
I promise you there is no more but one last surprise up my sleeve,
It's a bike and a scooter, for the late nights when you want to go around the neighborhood in a breeze.
Let's order some Chinese food and call up Jerome
Cause the parties at RipRock and AG's or as you like to call it, home.

Happy Birthday JCeaser. I bet Bobbie won't do anything quite as thoughtful as this for you... That's alright, as long as your circulation is being cut off by those tight ass "Space Cowboy" pants, you have an excuse to be with her. Don't go licking too many floors today and be sure to remember that once the high wears off, you CAN just light up another crackpipe and start all over again. After all, it's your party and you'll get high if you want to...

Heheh.. I love that, and here is the list of all the presents Kate and I have compiled for JC.. cuz we love him like that!

a JC necklace (the kind you get at CLAIRES!
an autographed picture of JC (we are faking the autograph)
a Justin keychain
a twinkie & condom for Joey
a skeletor figurine (You know, the guy from He-Man)
a giant picture of a hampster
some crack viles and a crack pipe
a white tank top
a glow stick
a whip
a TOOTHBRUSH
Narcotics Anonymous drug addiction pamphlets
eating disorder information
reeses
a can of worms that says "crack inside" (Like those trick cans you open and the stuff pops out)
a horn for his bike
a pack of JACKS cigarettes, changed to say Jack Cracjnuts with a little pictures of JC on it instead of the Jacks face