TITLE: ::SNIFF::
AUTHOR: kirasmommy
ARCHIVE: Yes
FANDOM: Buffy
PAIRING: Xander/Spike
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: um er...well? Hurt/Comfort? Maybe?
SPOILERS: 6th season
WARNING: daft, impossible, pointless
NOTE: Because Scorpio wrote Ucky Bubblz and it struck a cord. And also...YAY more Nine Months! Also written from between 11:00pm to 2:00am...did my best to weed out mistakes with the help of Microsoft Word.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them (because if I did they would have WAY more fun) and I don't make money off of them (because if I did I wouldn't be ready to strangle my husband over his spending habits).
SUMMARY: Two conversations...but who is talking about what? And why does Spike NEVER seem to bring his own kittens to kitten poker?

::SNIFF::
By kirasmommy

Xander froze in place as he heard the tiny sound. Edging around the counter quietly he picked up the ax hidden under the cash register. He stopped once more as the little sound came again from the back room. Forgetting the small set of keys that he had come to pick up he crept quietly to the door. The Magic Box was shrouded in darkness as the faintest line of pink moved stealthily over the horizon.

Coming ever closer Xander could see light under the door. He tightened his grip on the handle of the ax, preparing to lift it over his head when he heard...

"Bloody hell!"

Xander sighed and lowered the ax. Rolling his eyes he laid it upon the countertop and continued to the door. (What the hell is he stealing this time?)

::SNIFF::

Xander stopped. (What?)

::SNERK {COUGH} SNIFF::

Xander blinked to himself as he gently pushed the door open a crack.

Tears streamed from red eyes in an unrelenting stream. Spike wiped at them viciously, then rubbed brutally.

Xander pulled his head back away from the door with a frown.

::SNORT {CACK} SNERK SNIFF::

"Bloody...hell..." Even muffled the small curse sounded defeated.

Xander leaned forward once again and watched as Spike wiped again at his eyes with a tissue. (Oh GROSS, vampire snot!)

Spike tossed the used tissue as he finished blowing his nose. Grabbing another he clenched it tightly in his hand. Sniffing hard he wiped ineffectually under his eyes.

"I hate this shit!" Spike muttered to himself. He swiped at his eyes again before covering them with a trembling hand. "I really, really hate this!"

Xander felt his heart lurch as tiny sniffles fell upon his ears.

Spike rubbed his eyes again. "Stop it you silly prat! You are a soulless evil bad vampire! This is IMPOSSIBLE!"

"I can't believe she would DO this to me!" Spike whispered to himself.

Spike fell limply against the table. Collapsing upon himself in wretched misery. "Why? I've behaved! I haven't done anything wrong in...well...weeks, er...days, well...hours at LEAST! Gotta be some sort of record! How could she DO this to me?"

Xander rested his head against the cool wood as he listened. Closing his own eyes he sighed deeply. (Oh.)

"She's supposed to be one of the 'good guys'! This should be...beneath her! This...kind of EVIL!" Spike shuddered as he lifted his head and wiped at his bright red eyes. The small whimpering noises reached Xander.

Xander groaned to himself. (Buffy.)

Xander walked a short distance from the door. (He needs time alone...)

A high keening noise from the other room stopped him. (Then again...)

Peeking around the door Xander saw Spike pulling at his hair. Incomprehensible muttering. "Didn't really want..."

(No, he definitely needs time alone!) Xander turned away.

"She really doesn't care..."

Xander grimaced. (D'uh? Oh geeze...)

Walking back to the doorway he groaned as the former 'Master' Vampire rubbed furiously at his eyes, the very tip of his nose beginning to turn an almost violent red. (NO! No, no, no, no, no, nononononononononononononoooooo! I do NOT feel sorry for him!)

As the tiny sob filled the air Xander pulled his own hair. (ARGHHHHHH! Why me? What is wrong with me? Do I really have a 'White Knight Complex'?)

Gently he pushed the door open. Spike jumped as the hinges creaked.

"Sorry to disturb you..." Xander started. He looked down at his shoes as he shifted uncomfortably.

Spike turned away, grabbing another tissue. "Uh, well...I was just..."

"I uh...know. I sorta...figured it out." Xander looked up at the ceiling. He counted four separate cracks and a spot that looked suspiciously like a leak coming on. He contemplated what he would need to repair the roof before chancing a glance at Spike once more.

Again fingers to eyes as Spike rubbed and rubbed them. When he finally took them away Xander inwardly winced. Xander stepped forward slowly. Approaching as one would approach an injured animal. "Buffy..."

Spike pouted to himself. "Yeah, Buffy..."

Xander nodded. "She means well..."

"I bloody well know that...but..."

"I know. I know. And it isn't fair. I admit that." Xander tentatively reached out and patted the black clad shoulder.

The vampire sighed and wiped his nose with a new tissue. "It hurts..."

"Yes. It won't always though." Xander told him. "You'll get over it."

"Someday!" Spike scoffed. "Bloody well feels like I'll be like this FOREVER!"

"Nah!" Xander punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"I swear she is torturing me!" Spike hissed.

The dark haired young man shook his head. "No, well at least she doesn't mean to! She just has no idea... what it is like."

Spike sneered. "Yeah, Miss Invincible I even come back from the dead... she doesn't know the pain..."

"Now that isn't true! She feels pain." Xander held a hand over his own heart. "She feels pain very deeply. But she thinks she has to be strong for everyone. She shuts it away. Then ends up doing stupid stuff because of it!"

"Don't we all?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, I guess we do..." Xander shrugged.

Spike sniffed again loudly before dabbing his eyes. Tears began to leak steadily out of his eyes again and Xander flinched. He found his arm wrapping around Spike shoulders. With a deep sigh Xander squeezed Spike closer. "I'm just afraid she will truly hurt you."

Spike blinked rapidly as he looked up. "What?"

Xander released Spike and took a step back. "I don't think she realizes how...emotionally...involved you are in this! She is so DETACHED from everything! And well...she has this...habit kinda..."

"What habit?" Spike asked before blowing his nose.

"It just...seems...that between every 'serious' relationship she has a...transitional...one. One with meaningless sex or rather one that she wishes had meaning but doesn't really. I'm afraid that well...Riley was a SERIOUS relationship..."

"So you think I'm 'transitional'?" Spike asked.

"Well you could be. I mean...I don't know. There is, I suppose SOME hope for you I guess. The fact that you two haven't jumped into bed yet...I mean that is pretty much the 'kiss of death' right there!"

Xander stopped as he studied Spike's face.

"Oh! Oh GOD!" Xander gaped. "I'm sorry! I did NOT know!"

"So, you really think..." Spike asked swallowing hard.

Xander winced.

Spike looked down sadly. "Isn't that always the way? Use me and throw me away."

"It shouldn't be that way. I mean, I've figured out that in a really, perverted, obsessive, psychotic sorta way, you really do love people. And you deserve someone...who can appreciate that."

Xander wrapped his arm around Spike again and pulled him close. "You can find someone else!"

"Someone else?"

"Yeah! Someone who will look at you, and see only you!" Xander smiled.

"Only me?" Spike looked up with a sniff.

"Posilutely! Absotively!" Xander beamed.

"Someone that can appreciate demonic possessive and obsessive love?" Spike asked.

Xander nodded.

A slow smile spread across Spike's face. "Someone...like you?"

Inside his mind Xander could hear warning alarms and the sound of a robot chanting {Danger! Xander Harris, DANGER!} but on the outside Xander continued to smile. "Huh?"

Still within Xander's grasp Spike turned slowly to face him, wrapping his own arm around the young man's middle. "Like you. You seem to...appreciate demonic forms of love."

Xander blinked. "Huh?"

"Tell me? How are you and Anya doing now? I mean since the whole her thinking she was engaged to Giles thing?" Spike smirked.

"That was...just...a spell."

"True. But funny how even during the spell, Buffy and Dawn could sense their connection and Willow and Tara were drawn toward each other, and I was drawn toward Buffy BUT you and Anya...had NO clue you two were even together?"

"It was just the spell." Xander whispered with no conviction.

"Oh, I know. Just funny really, I mean, by that logic, Willow could just as easily have made a play for Buffy or Buffy and Tara could have thought THEY were sisters or something..."

With a sigh Xander looked down. "I know. I've thought about that too."

"Maybe, you just need someone to BE possessive of YOU and such." Spike leered. "Someone willing to give their entire self in a relationship?"

Xander swallowed hard. "Ummm."

Spike nestled his head on Xander's shoulder.

"I'm...er...supposed to return some keys to Anya. Since the store is closed today..."

"She can wait." Spike said pushing Xander firmly against the table.

"Whoa...wait...Spike! YIKES! Watch the hands! EEK! Not there! Okay...there is good...ooooooo there is really good! Oh...God!"

"Meow!"

Xander froze. "What was that?"

"Nothing..."

"Meow!"

Xander looked under the table to see a large box. Small scratching noises came from within it.

With a question Xander looked at Spike.

"I owe someone some Siamese kittens. I don't keep felines near me usually so was a little tapped when I lost at poker a while back. NO! Don't open that..."

::ACKCHOO ACKCHOO ACKCHOOOOOOO ACKCHOO::

Xander watched as Spike blew his nose and rubbed his eyes vigorously.

Spike grimaced. "He'll be heah soon to pich ub duh iddle basterds!"

Xander closed the box slowly. "Uh..."

Spike blew his nose again and wiped away fresh tears. "I'm fine for a little while. Long enough to play a few games of poker...but long term...I'm SO allergic!"

"Allergic?" Xander blinked.

"Yeah, Buffy got them for me yesterday. Wanted to help me out I guess. Torture me is more like it!"

"Buffy...gave you...kittens...which you are allergic to...to pay a gambling debt?" Xander asked sitting back onto the table.

"Yeah, thought you knew, you said you figured it out!" Spike said rubbing his eyes again. "Only reason I play is because I can trade the damn things in on bags of O negative! But I lost and since I don't keep them near me...I was..."

"Yeah, I can see that." Xander nodded.

Spike smiled. "Don't matter, I'll be fine once they are gone! Where were we?"

::ACKCHOO::

Xander stifled a laugh as Spike looked at his own hand in disgust. "I HATE this shit!"

Wiping a tissue across his hand Spike groaned. "YUCK!"

"HEY! Don't touch me...wash your hands first...oh...oh...um...never mind! Touch all you want! Hey, question?"

"Yeah?"

"If Buffy were to...some reason...kill me or at least try to...would you mind terribly...I don't know...protecting me?"

"Any particular reason she would want to?" Spike asked.

"Just a case of miscommunication. Could you put your hands back...oh yeah...right THERE! Yep...much appreciating demonic love here!"

=End=