The Brag of THOK:
I am the Kung-Fu-"Bob", I cannot be stopped by mere friction, life is my child-sized RC cola, I have been excommunicated by Pagans, I am the fourth son of the computer age, I bring with me the tidings of the drowned gods, my snap kick is my salvation and my respite, with great fervor do I go about my business, I am seven feet tall during the odd days of the week, my shoddy shoes are no match for my wild eyes, my primary wife cannot satisfy me, nor can my secondary, but I do not seek a tertiary, my sanity is based upon the fullness of my great belly, and is sacrosanct to the rages of the eaters of time, my kiap is the end of all days, I am the fall of the night upon silk, without me the world would overbalance to the left, my Kung-Fu is most certainly superior to yours, I am the six-oh-six of life and limb, I am the reaper of the bobbies, the bringer of soulless destruction upon the wedding cake of life, I am the tiny plastic groom, the third baseman who always caught you out and made you cry, I am the skinny pale kid who stole your girlfriend Jock-boy, I am so very tired, but I am the first insomniac, I was there when your father proposed, and my silver pieces paid for the most famous kiss in history, I am the lie you told your parents so you could get laid, I am twelve miles away, I brought you those Easter eggs with no candy in them, I am the light and the slack forever, I hate seven green vegetables, but only two blue ones, my file cabinet overflows with the pictures you don't want anyone to see, I am your garden gnome's secret lover who sneaks off to the zoo for midnight trysts with her, I am the 404 error when you just want to check your meaningless e-mail, I am the only thing you will ever wish you hadn't wished for, I am not the Kung-Fu-"Bob".
