A
man was fed up with his life and told one of his friend: "I'm going to jump from the
eighth storey of a building and commit suicide." His baffled friend countered:
"But there is no eight-storey building in our town. The highest is four-storeyed.
What will you do?" The man thought for a while and answerd: "In that case, I'll
jump from a four-storey building twice".
A lady asked for a cup of coffee in a restaurant for which the waiter
got a bill of Rs 10. "But your coffee was absolutely cold?" the lady grumbled.
"In that case," the waiter said, "I'll get a bill of Rs 20 for cold coffee.
Once a journalist happened to ask a lady swimmer: "What is it that
you are most afraid of while swimming?" The lady quipped: "My make-up."
There was this woman who said to her husband, "Now be an angel and
let me drive". So he did. And now he is one.
In a singing and poetry competition, a poet was repeating the same
lines continuously for two hours. When the poet ended, a man from the audience shouted,
"Sir, you should recite your prose on the radio." Poet: "Oh! So you like my
prose so much. "Person: "Not! At least I could put it off!"
A newly wed narrates his woes to his friend. "For the first week,
I talked and my wife listened. The second week, she talked and I listened. Now we both
talk and neighbours listen."
In a English language class for foreign student, the teacher wants a
sentence to be changed into past tense. The sentence is: "He gives her a
present." One enthusiatic student replies: "He gave her a past."
A man buys a cinema ticket for the third time in 10 minutes. The man at
the counter asks him: "What is the matter? Why are you are buying the same ticket for
the third time." The man replies: "The man at the gate is crazy. He tears my
ticket into two each time I give it him."
"And how did you enjoy my talk?" he asked.
"Refreshing" the man replied. "Did you mean really?" "Oh!,
absolutely," he said " I felt like a new man when I woke up!"
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