My Ice Angel

I can still remember the way she used to touch my cheek. And how her soft lips touched mine. Or the way she wrapped me in her arms when I felt lonely. I can almost feel her soft, fresh-smelling hair brushing against my face. It’s silky strands running through my fingers. I can hear her beautiful singing voice being carried by the wind. ::Voice breaks:: How can I ever forget the beautiful reflections she use to cast on the face of this lake? Or how beautiful her eyes were when she stared into mine?::Looks down, shakes his head and sighs:: How could I’ve let her go?

--months ago *@----}----{----@*

Matt! Matt! Wake up!" I heard the loud voice which belongs to Tai, my best friend. I was too tired to wake up though. So I just pulled the covers over my head and covered my ears with my pillow without opening my eyes. But a few seconds later, the sheets were harshly pulled off the bed. Then, someone was shaking me so violently I fell off my bed.

"All right, all right! I give up." I said as I opened my eyes. I threw my hands up in a surrender gesture.

"You better. I was going to go get boiling water if that didn’t work. Now hurry up. The whole gang is waiting outside." he said with in a hurrying tone.

"Wha-? Oh yeah! Today is Saturday and we have to go to that church place to volunteer!" Matt asked and answered himself.

"The 'church place' is called the St. Mary Church. And yes, we have to go volunteer. So get your lazy bum up and get dressed. We’re all waiting for you in the living room." a new voice said. I turned my head and saw my brother T.K. waiting at my bedroom door.

"Okay, okay. You guys win. Now both of you, get out so I can get dressed." I said with an irritated air. They walked out the room and closed the door behind them. After they left, I took out the outfit that I prepared yesterday- a large, lime green sweater with a pair of old, black snowpants. After I got dressed, I went to the bathroom and combed my hair and brushed my teeth. I put in some extra gel since I knew that Mimi was going. I really didn’t want her to think that I’m a slob. When I was done, I double-checked everything to make sure nothing is wrong.

When I finally went out to the living room, I found all my friends waiting patiently on the couch. Mimi, Sora, and Kari were skimming through a fashion magazine which they probably bought at the corner store. Izzy was typing madly on his laptop. Tai and T.K. just sat there switching channels on the television. Joe was reading a book on cancer.

None of them really noticed that I came in the room until Tai looked up and exclaimed, "Finally! Now let’s go before we’re late." All of us put on our coats and stepped outside. There was an ankle height sheet of white snow covering our lawn. There was a still a little snow-fall, which made our entire neighborhood seem like a Christmas snowglobe.

When we got to the church, we were instantly crowded with little kids. Why were we so attractive? Because we promised we’d bring them down to the frozen lake to ice skate. They didn’t know how to, but I promised them that we’ll teach them. The problem is, only me, Mimi, Tai, and Sora knows how to ice skate. Joe and Izzy volunteered to be counselors for those who weren’t going. T.K. and Kari wanted to tag along so they can take pictures. That’s why I refuse to fall today.

When we got there, the snow had stopped. All the kids were very excited. We had trouble calming them down and getting organized. But I have to admit, the view was definitely amazing. The lake was so smooth it worked like a gigantic mirror.

Somehow, we got them all organized. We split up into four groups, each containing five children. I had all girls. And for some reason, they seemed to not be able to let go of my foot for the first two minutes. Girls, I just don’t get them. Anyhow, I began by teaching them how to walk on the ice with skates. They were a couple of smart kids and they caught on in less than two minutes. Then, we began to glide. Pretty soon, they began to skate on their own.

After all the kids learned, we decided to let them have some free time. Sora and Tai volunteered to take first shift to make sure they don’t go too far out into the lake or to places where the ice was too thin. Luckily, before Mimi and my shift, the kids got tired and decided to rest on the edge of the lake.

After finishing their lunch, they demanded a show, a figure skating show. I looked over to Tai and Sora, but they just shrugged. They weren’t that good on ice and they didn’t feel like being embarrassed in front of all these kids. I was pretty good, but I really didn’t feel like it. Before I could ask her, Mimi got up and went in front of all the children so they can all have a good view.

She began with a bow. But without further ado, she began to glide across the ice. She stretched out her arms into a wing position and balanced on one leg. She looked like she was soaring across the sky rather than skating across the ice. She began to twist and turn swiftly through the ice. I never had much feelings for figure skating but this was just amazing. In the middle of Mimi’s performance, snow began drifting from the sky. At that moment, she wasn’t a figure skater anymore. She was a ballerina in the center of a snow globe. Every one of her graceful and swift movement was mesmerizing.

Right then, my body took control. I got up and began to glide towards Mimi. I took her in my arms and lifted her up into the air. We skated like we’ve been practicing for years. We were amazingly compatible. I felt my heart beating faster every second my hand touched her.

Then, a disaster happened. Right when I was on the opposite side of the lake, Mimi’s side’s ice began to crack. Before we knew it, it made a huge hole right under Mimi’s feet. With a scream, Mimi fell into the water. She began sinking quickly. I glided across the ice as fast as my feet would move. But when I got there, we could only see her arms from elbow up splashing wildly in distress. Then, she sank all together. Without thinking, I jumped into the large hole and began to swam down. I felt my fingers intertwining with her fingertips at last. I grabbed her closer to me and wrapped my arm around her waist. I realized that the water was freezing and I was running out of breath. So I swam my fastest to reach the surface. My view became blurrier and blurrier......

A few minutes later, I opened my eyes to find myself wrapped in a warm towel. Sora was looking down at me. When she realized that I opened my eyes, she called for Tai. I sat up with a terrible headache. I squeezed my eyes tight and opened them when I realized that I didn’t see Mimi anywhere.

My lips felt frozen and stiff, but I managed to mumble out a few words. "Where’s Mimi?" I asked no one in particular. As if an answer to my question, Mimi pops out from behind me. She still looked a little pale, but she still had that reassuring smile on her face as usual.

"Right here." she replied. She looked down and seemed to blush. Then she gave me a little peck on the cheek. I was completely stunned. All I could do was stare at her, which probably made her blush even more. But I couldn’t help myself. I simply couldn’t believe that happened! There was a silence. "Thank you for being so brave." She said breaking the silence. Then she looked up. We caught each other’s stare. That was the first time we stared into each other’s eyes. And I knew it wouldn’t be the last time. From that moment on, I knew that she’d be in my heart, for as long as time goes.

After that little field trip we had with the kids, we had Winter Vacation. We were regularly going to go to a skiing resort. But unfortunately, T.K., Kari, and Izzy caught the flu. Even though they insisted that we went by ourselves, we couldn’t bear to leave anyone behind. So Joe, Tai, Sora, Mimi, and I just hung out at the indoor volleyball court. Since the basketball and the soccer court is usually filled. In the volleyball court, we get the room all to ourselves.

Tai and I were a team, Mimi and Sora were the other, and Joe was the score keeper. He was afraid he’d get an asthma attack or something. I don’t even think that he has asthma, but he insisted on not playing, so we didn’t force him. Believe it or not, we mostly tie. Mimi and Sora were both really good. Tai, obviously, was a sport freak, so of course he had to be some good. I was all right, not good, not bad.

One day, we were all hanging out at a French-style cafe. Sora and Tai were just talking about whether the boy’s soccer team was better or the girl’s soccer team. Joe was reading his cancer book as usual. Mimi just sipped at her tea and stare into the distance. She had no expression on her face. Once in a while, I’d catch a glimpse of her, then turn my stare back to my coffee.

Then all of a sudden, I felt a piece of paper on my lap. I secretly read it and realized that it was a note from Tai. It said:

Matt, it’s Tai. Should I ask her now? What do you think?

I looked up and saw him stare at me for an answer. I simply shrugged and see if he’d go crazy on me. He remained calm but shot me a glare that said ‘you’re a lot of help’. I grinned evilly in return. That was how our glaring contest started. He was so mad it seemed like thunder bolts shot out of his eyes. I was getting really annoyed. So I can feel flames in my eyes also. Mimi and Sora realized this situation and they both put their hands between our faces. I was a little awe so I just stared for a while and then shook my head a little.

Then, Tai made the decision. He stared at Sora who stared back. Then very quickly, he asked the question. "Will you be my girlfriend, Sora?" Sora was completely shocked. She sat there for a few minutes, not turning her gaze. When she finally got out of her trance, she nodded slowly. Then, she smiled warmly, which caused Tai to hug her.

"Wow, Sora. Not only are you the captain of the girl’s soccer team, now you’re dating the captain of the guy’s soccer team." Mimi commented.

"Congratulations, both of you. I thought you’d never have the guts to ask, Tai." I said.

"Well, obviously, I’m not as much of a wimp as you think. And anyway, Matt, when are you going to ask Mimi out?" Tai teased. He was just joking, but Mimi and I looked away and blushed. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked no one particular. Sora stifled a giggle, but then be quiet.

Then Joe looked up from his reading and asked cluelessly, "Did someone call my name?" Sora couldn’t hold it anymore, she burst into laughter and finally calmed down when she realized that everyone was staring at her. She looked down and blushed. "I missed something didn’t I?" Joe asked again. He was a little puzzled about Sora’s........laughing condition.

I wondered how Tai worked up the courage to ask her. I really wanted to know. Well, now that I think of it, it’s a pretty stupid question to ask. I mean, Tai did have the Crest of Courage back in the digiworld. I sighed and everyone stared at me. Sora spoke up for everyone. "What’s wrong, Matt? We thought that you’d be the one laughing the hardest. But instead you seem like nothing happened. This isn’t the real you."

I smiled but didn’t say anything. I mean, what was I suppose to say? That I love Mimi but is too chicken to ask her out? I had to be nuts to say that. No, I had to be beyond nuts to say that. I guess they thought that I was fine so they went back to the way they were before. Except this time Tai and Sora was closer.

That night, everyone recovered. So we all slept over at Tai’s. Sora and Mimi slept over in Kari’s room. And Joe, Izzy, T.K., and I slept at Tai’s room. But none of us could get any sleep, so we stayed at the basement. We finished watching the old version of Dracula. It was completely terrifying! Mimi, Kari, Sora, and Joe screamed at about a billion parts. Izzy was too scared to watch so he tried his hardest to concentrate on his computer. Though I knew that he’d been watching the scary parts because he became too frigid to type. Tai, T.K. and I just stared at the screen.

We were sitting in a straight line. In order, it was Tai, Sora, Joe, Me, Mimi, T.K., Kari, and Izzy. The good thing is, during scary parts, Sora would close her eyes, scream, and throw herself at Tai. Kari would do the same thing to T.K.. Since they’d been going out since the digiworld. The best thing is, Mimi would do the same thing to me. The first time, she blushed a little. But after that, I guess she figured, Oh, what the heck. Joe would grasp onto my arm REALLY tight. Good thing he doesn’t have any nails.

Well, anyway, we got reeeeally bored afterwards. Mimi was still a little shaky, but she managed to pull herself together. For some reason, Tai thought about swimming in the pool that’s open twenty four/ seven. Everyone thought that he was crazy, but we had nothing better to do, so we went back to our places and got our stuff. Our parents thought that we’d lost it, but I think we’ve lost it ever since the digiworld.

We met at the pool. The girls went to the girl’s dressing room and the guys went to the boy’s dressing room. At the dressing room, Tai asked, "Matt, seriously, do you like Mimi?"

"I’m not going to tell you. Cause I know if I do, then you’ll tell your little sweetheart and she’ll tell Mimi!" I replied. I really didn’t want to explain anything. Especially my feelings for Mimi.

"Number one, I’ll take that as a yes. Number two, don’t insult Sora by saying she’s my little sweetheart, she’s better than that. And number three, I’m sure I can tell Sora and she won’t tell." Tai said. That got me really scared.

"Don’t any of you DARE to tell any of the girls, you have to promise me! Or I’m gonna beat you into a pancake." I assured, well more like threatened, them. "Oh yeah, another thing. It’s not an insult when I called Sora your sweetheart." I added.

Tai just shrugged and promised that he won’t tell anyone. I doubt it. With his big mouth, the whole school would probably know by next Monday, Tuesday tops. I sighed, regretting giving Tai such a big hint. I know that Izzy won’t tell, and Joe would forget by tomorrow. But Tai......

We went out to the pool. Surprisingly, we were all wearing black. Even Mimi! Maybe it’s some kind of sign. In fact, it was. And I was to find that out soon. We dove and fooled around like we used to when we were little kids. Now we’re eighteen. T.K. and Kari were sixteen. We had much more responsibility to weigh us down. It’s funny how when we were young, we wanted to grow older. But now, we want to have those years back.

In the middle of Marco Polo, my cellular phone rang. That was the phone call that changed my whole life, every bit of it. I wish I could’ve avoided it. Well, the clueless me picked up the phone. Through the other side of the line was my mom, crying her hearts out. She told me to bring T.K. and rush to the hospital. She told me that something dreadful happened to my dad. I was so scared when I hung up. I mean, the hospital?

Without second thought, I told T.K. and we headed towards the hospital, speeding. The others insisted on coming and we couldn’t refuse. When we got there, our mom was waiting for us at the lobby. She was sobbing with a white handkerchief in her hand. She was shaking fiercely. I’d never seen her like this before, so I guessed what happened. And I guessed right. When the police and doctors told me that my father past away, I burst into tears. They told me that he was hit by a car while he was crossing the parking lot to get his car. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t cry, but I couldn’t help it. Things were happening to fast! One minute, I was having the best time with my friends, with Mimi. The next minute, I find out that my father dies. Is life unfair and messed up or what?

For the next few days, I was completely lost. I used to love having the house all to myself. But now, it’s just wrong. I wouldn’t see anyone. I felt like nobody can understand me, not even Tai. I wished that Gabumon was here, he’d know what to do.

A few days later, the funeral came. That made me feel even worse. I went anyway, just to be the proper son. Also, I wanted to see him rest in peace. When I got there, the rest of the gang was there also. Tai came up to me and said, "I’m real sorry, man." And he put a hand on my shoulder as support.

I really didn’t care or listen to what he said. It really didn’t help much. It’s not like this is some fairy tale and those magic word is gonna bring back my dad. No. This is the real world. And my father is dead. But just to make him feel like he’s helping, I said a soft yeah.

For some reason, I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. I guess all my tears ran dry. I wasn’t surprised either. I’ve been crying everyday for the past week. I know that I’m a guy, a grown guy, and I’m not really supposed to cry. But that’s just an old saying. Even if I was thirty and my dad died, I’d still cry. If you lost your dad, you’d cry, too, I bet.

The next day, I was locked inside my house, again. But this time, someone knocked on my door. Regularly I wouldn’t want to see anyone. I almost yelled, "Go away, I don’t need your sympathy." But I decided that it wasn’t anyone’s fault that he died, so I opened the door. Standing right there in front of me was Mimi, dressed in all black, the same as me. I wondered why since the only reason I’m wearing black was because I was mourning. But why was she wearing black?

"Hi Matt! How are you feeling?" she asked in a cheery tune. But it was less cheerful than usual. I really didn’t want to say anything. I was afraid that I’ll cry in front of her. But I went off the deep end..........

"HOW AM I FEELING? Well, let’s see. My dad just died and I can’t do anything about it. Gee I must be feeling great! NOT!!!" I screamed as I burst into tears. I began to descend into a sitting position and I leaned against my front door. She sat down with me. She looked somewhat hurt and then I realized that I’d raised my voice. I opened my mouth to stop me, but she stopped me by cutting three of her fingertips on my lips. I didn’t know what she was doing. But then the most miraculous thing happened. She closed her eyes, leaned in, and kissed me on the lips! I felt a strange bolt of electricity run through my body. I wasn’t sure if she felt it too, but it felt great.

But then I realized that I wasn’t supposed to feel great. My own father that had raised me just died! So I pulled away and looked away. I could feel her staring at me, with tears rushing down her cheeks. It hurt me so much to see her like this but..........

She whispered, "I’m sorry." in my ear and got up. She straightened our her velvet black skirt and walked out the door slowly and drearily. I stared at her from my window, trying to figure out what I was going to do........

About two minutes after Mimi left, I realized what I jerk I was. It wasn’t Mim’s fault my dad died. So why did I take it out on her. And plus, my dad wouldn’t have been proud of me one bit if I’m sad for him. What’s past is past and I have to learn to get over that. So I ran outside and towards the direction she left in. I lost track of her. I ran as fast as I could, but I lost track of her. I searched all over the place. Then I realized where she was. THE LAKE!!! How could I’ve been so stupid? Of course the lake! She told me that she loved that water and ice and finds it soothing!

After I got myself together, I jetted towards the lake. Bingo! Right at the edge. She was sitting down, holding her knees. When she realized that I was there, she looked away. I sat down next to her. We had a few minutes of silence, but then I couldn’t stand it anymore. "I’m sorry, Mimi" I said as I turned face her to see how she would react.

"You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I.............was being a little too forward. It wasn’t your fault. If anyone was sorry, it’d be me." Mimi said drearily. This wasn’t Mimi. The cheerful tone in her voice was gone. The voice sounded so emotionless, like a ghost. This was all my fault. I have to bring her back somehow.

"No, I was being a jerk, Mimi." Then I stared her in the eye to prove that I was telling the truth. In a serious tone I said, "It’s been hard, Mimi. I was upset..... really upset. I had a lot of stress and I had no way to deal with them. And you came along and........ and I released my stress on you. The truth is........"" began. She was still staring at me, waiting. "The truth is.......that..that I........"

"You......" Mimi said. She was still waiting.

"I........The truth is, Mimi, I love you." There, I said the three magic words. Why were they magic? Well, don’t you think so. I mean, if they’re just three plain words, it wouldn’t have been so hard to say. And plus, it can affect someone’s life, for better or worse. In my case, it’s both. I know it’s complicated, but you’ll see what I mean.

We just stared into each other’s eyes for a long time. I was wishing that she’d feel the same. And...... my wish came true. She smiled and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her as she put her head down on my shoulder. Next to my ear, she whispered, "I love you too, Yamato Ishida, I love you too." I could feel her tears wetting my shoulder. But this time, it’s the tears of happiness.

We stayed there for quite a while. I played my harmonica and she sang. We were perfect. We leaned against each other for support. Her voice sounded like one of an angel’s. I felt like I was in paradise. All my worries went away, even the memories of my father. That’s how my relationship with Mimi Tachikawa, my one and only, began.

Three months gone by, and I’ve never been happier in my whole life! Those three months were the highlights of my life. Too bad I didn’t value it more. If only I knew. Well, Mimi and I always had the best times. When I was with her, all my worries disappear. Pretty soon, my father’s death wasn’t too bad. It was bad, but at least bearable for me.

For the past three months, Mimi and I and Tai and Sora were "the couples". In school, everyone would say how perfect we are for each other. Two soccer team captains on one hand, and a star soccer player and a cheerleading captain on the other hand. They said that it was too hard to choose, so we are named the co-popular couples. We really didn’t care about titles, we just needed to know that we loved each other.

Practically everyday, T.K. and Kari, Tai and Sora, and Mimi and I would go on triple dates. We’d go to the movies, the mall(to make the girls happy, don’t be misunderstood. Tai, T.K. and I HATE shopping.), the cafe, all over the place.

On our anniversary, I took her out to a seafood place. She was so beautiful I could’ve mistaken her for an angel. Even in that proper restaurant, we still had a lot of fun. She was definitly the best girl I’ve ever met. Sweet, sincere, beautiful, comforting, caring, and the best of all, she loves me. Too bad that all that had to pass away too fast.

It was our three-month anniversary. But we knew that she had a dance recital so she couldn’t celebrate. So we did it all afterschool at our regular coffee place. I gave her a diamond bracelet. It couldn’t have look prettier than on Mimi’s pale wrist. She was completely overjoyed. That’s why I was so happy also. Another thing is, she gave me the best present in the world. It was a green sweater she knitted herself! I was so happy. I thought that my day can’t be bad. Heh, think again, Matt.

Right when I was getting ready to go to Mimi’s dance recital, my cellular phone rang. Then in the same crying tone my mother used three months ago, Mimi’s mother told me to rush to the hospital. Then it was just like a flash back. I got in my car and went as fast as I could go and I sped to the hospital.

When I got there, I wished that it doesn’t end the same way. Mimi’s mother was standing at the lobby, crying with a white handkerchief in her hand. She told me to go to the third floor, room 307. She told me that Mimi’s waiting for me. Without second though, I ran to the escalator and ran up to the third floor.

When I got there, the others were sitting outside in the hallway. They all had their heads down. It was then I figured what happened. I burst into the room and ran to kneel next ot Mimi’s bed. I held on to her hand tightly as if if I let go, she’d evaporate into the air. She still had the bracelet on and I kissed her fingertips. I kept murmuring, "don’t leave me."

When she felt my prescence, her eyes fluttered opened. Her lips were moving, but no sound came out. So I took off the device that helps you breath and put my ear nearer to her mouth so I can hear her as clearly as possible. I could hear her tell me the magic words, "I love you". Then, her eyes closed slowly. She looked so peaceful. I knew she was gone, but I just didn’t want to believe it. Tears rolled down my face and fell onto her hand. I looked over at her tear-eyed. I stroked her smooth cheek and wiped away her tear stains.

"I love you too." I whispered and I kissed her on the lips for one last time. It felt cold, but that one kiss said a lot. Later on, I found out that she died by getting hit by a car in the parking lot when she rushed to her dance recital.

Present *@----}----{----@*

That’s my story of me and my beloved, Mimi Tachikawa. Now I’m back at this lake, Crystal Lake. It’s water now since it’s Springtime. This is where our relationship began, and this is where it ends. This isn’t an one second decision. I’ve thought about it for quite a while. I mean, ever since my father’s death, she’d been the one who I value the most, the one who’s been the only reason for me to be alive. But now, there’s nothing that holds me back. T.K. can take care of himself. Especially since now he has Kari. I guess my time here is over. Stepping closer to the lake, I can see my reflection, so lonely and bare without Mimi’s reflection beside me. I'm wearing the sweater she made me, so she can recognize me in heaven.

Stepping into the water, I can almost feel her prescence. It feels so good and soothing. Don’t worry, Mimi, I’ll be there soon. Something appeared right in the middle of the lake! It’s shining rays are practically blinding my eyes. I looked up and took a better look. It was a girl, with wings and long chestnut hair, all dressed in white. It’s Mimi! "Mimi!!!!! I’m coming."

"No, go back." the image said as she signaled me to turn around.

"I can’t, Mimi. I can’t possibly live on without you." I said trying to make her change her mind.

"Matt, because of your love, I am now an angel in heaven. Would you really want me to go through reincarnation because you suicided for me? Please don’t! The only way you can make me happy now is to promise me that you’ll always remember me...... I must leave now, please fulfill my wishes." Before I could do anything, she faded.

And I’m just standing here like a fool. All I can do for her is that. Even if it means to stay in this excuse for hell, I’ll do it for her, my One and Only, my Mimi Tachikawa.