The following is actually not a poem, but an article I was given which I found to be very true and it helped me see some things in a different light. It is written by Terry Kellogg and Marvel Harrison... I want to point out that in talking about the "gift of addictions" they are not promoting the addictions in themselves, but are encouraging looking at what they give us so we better know what needs must be fulfilled in other ways. I have cut some parts out because it's pretty long, but you can look for this and other similar articles at www.liferesources.com... enjoy :)
Many people spend their entire life struggling with addiction. This struggle actually gives power to the addictive process. For example, alcohol may be used as a self-medication for depression, but in the battle with alcohol, the depression is fueled. The healing of addiction comes from embracing, not struggling; learning from, not suppressing the addiction.
A Navajo friend once explained, "When there would be an awful drought and everyone was suffering with the devastation, the Zunis and Presbyterians would be praying for rain while the traditional Navajo would be praying to find harmony with the drought." Our friend was describing the Navajo concept of 'Hozro', to find harmony with what we can't control. Harmony involves integration into our lives the messages and lessons offered by the addictive disorder, allowing it to be our teacher.
Our addictions began as a means of survival and coping. As children, if our natural dependency needs were not met in healthy ways and our feelings were not affirmed, we quickly learned to depend on externals that altered how we felt. Sometimes these externals became addictions which took care of the dependency needs and were the acting out of our repressed feelings...
...Over time the survival tools lose their usefulness and become life impairing. We still tend to cling to the addiction since we equate it with survival. Recovery is the reconstruction of a sense of meaningfulness and creating healthy and effective survival tools in our lives. Further enhancing recovery is the challenge of understanding and building on the lessons and meaning of addiction.
Addiction recovery often involves excess confrontation and verbal attacks on what we have done or where we have been. The last thing we need is to have someone be hard on us - we usually are hard enough on ourselves. We need a safe place to debrief what has happened in our lives, to embrace our fears, shame, pain, and anger, so we have them rather than them having us. We need to be with supportive and gentle people who notice us and can reflect to us who we are. We can then realize that our addictiveness is not about who we are but about what happened to us. In the harsh settings we internalize the harshness and become more brutal with ourselves, setting up the struggle with addictions. In the context of gentleness we can unwrap the gift our addiction may bring.
Our addictions have a message and a lesson. The addiction often medicates particular hurts, equates with something we missed and teaches something we need. These are not exact equations or formulas, but rather some of the more common aspects of addictions we've observed:
Food equals love, medicates anger and loneliness, and teaches the need for fulfillment.
Compulsive Dieting/Body Obsessing equals willpower, self care and discipline; medicates body shame; offers an illusion of control and concern while distracting from the emptiness previously medicated by food, and teaches the need for self empowerment and body gratitude and joining the flow of life rather than fighting the current.
Anorexia equals beauty, thinness and control; medicates hostility, fear of sexuality, fat and growing up while altering reality; and teaches the over-control and reality distortion of childhood and the need for courage to grow.
Bulimia equals freedom, catharsis, control and the equilibrium between bingeing and purging; medicates rage, chaos and terror of being out of control; and teaches the need for balance and moderation, process, patience, and the healing of past violence and trauma.
Compulsive Eating/Food Obsession equals nurturing, solace, peace of mind and pleasure; medicates emptiness, isolation, worry and resentment; teaches the need for grieving, reaching out, to be physically and emotionally active and involved, and teaches the need for noticing, trust and fullness from spiritual awareness.
Exercise equals health, fitness, acceptance and wholeness; medicates boredom, anxiety and alienation; teaches the need for self acceptance, and emotional, social and activity...
...Alcohol equals socialization and self comfort; medicates shame and rage and teaches the need for identity from which flows spirituality and intimacy. It teaches us surrender from which we find security...
...Codependency equals kindness and caring, medicates guilt and anger, and teaches the need for gentleness with self and to have self so we can truly give of self and to self-remember so we can self-forget...
...Addiction equals control, escape, and survival; medicates despair, mental illness, trauma and loss; teaches us our humanity, and helps us move from the repressed shame that empowers addiction to the sense of shame and honor that empowers recovery.
In recognizing the gift in our addictions, we may discover a greater understanding of the addiction as well as 'Hozro', harmony with what we cannot control. In the understanding lies acceptance, in the harmony lies hope.
~Terry Kellogg and Marvel Harrison~
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