The following is a "letter" given to me a while ago. I do not know who is the author, otherwise I would give credit. This letter is in the form of an eating disorder (or any other addiction) written to an eating disordered individual. It is a realistic, somewhat painful reminder or what the ED really does to us...
Hello, old friend: I've come to visit once again. I love to see you suffer mentally, spiritually, and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax. I want you to be jumpy, nervous, and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I want you to be confused and depressed, so that you can't think clearly and positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody, especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past, that you will never be able to let go of. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world, for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but your addiction for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want you to wake up during all hours of the night and scream for me. You know you can't sleep without me! I'm even in your dreams.
I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you touch before you pass out. I would rather kill you, but I'll be happy enough to put you back in the hospital or another institution. But you know that I will be waiting for you when you get out. I love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the physical damage that I am causing you. I can't help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time, and when you wake with your sheets and blankets soaking wet. It's amusing to watch you make love to the toilet bowl... It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs, while at the same time I am destroying your brain bit by bit.
I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me... all the friends that you deeply cared for - you gave them up for me. I am even more grateful for the friends you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions. I mean who could be more generous to me than you, you gave up for me the most precious and important things in your life - your loved ones and your family, and yourself. I mean, man, you threw them away for little old me!
I cannot express in words how deeply grateful I am for the loyalty and respect you have for me: you sacrificed all these beautiful things in life just to devote yourself completely to me. But, do not despair my friend, for on me you can always depend! In fact, after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more! You can depend on me to keep ou in a living hell, to keep your mind, body, and soul: because I will not be satisfied until you are dead, my friend.
My name is: addiction! (The beast=the eating disorder, not you!)
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