Jaquis: Hello, this is Jaquis Gulyban for the PokeWorld interviews.

Unknown Girl: That's right, Jaquis. We are reporting from New Island, and-

Jaquis: Who the heck are you? I just now noticed you were here!

Unknown Girl: I'm Brianndra Williams, Brian's sister

Unknown Boy: And I'm Kerry Tinnikis, Cassandra's brother!

Jaquis: Why are you here? Brian and Cassandra are s'posed to be here, not you guys!

Kerry: They ran off somewhere to get married. (Shrugs shoulders)

Jaquis: And your parents are letting them get away with this? I mean, they're only 14!

Brianndra: Not really

Kerry: They're in Vegas, eloping.

Jaquis: What? And your parents don't know!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??

Mrs. Tinnikis (Offstage): We do now!!!!!

(Mr. and Mrs. Tinnikis and Mr. and Mrs. Williams walk out on stage. Oh, crap)

Mrs. Williams: No one told us???

Mr. Tinnikis (Turns to Mrs. Tinnikis): Where did we go wrong?

Mr. Williams: Where did you say they were?

Brianndra and Kerry: Las Vegas

Mr. Tinnikis: Good kids.

(Parents start to walk off stage, when suddenly, Mrs. Williams stops) Mrs. Williams: Oh, and you're both grounded for not telling us.

Brianndra and Kerry: What????

(Parents walk off)

Jaquis (Laughing): Ooh, they are going to be in soooooo much trouble when they get caught.

Brianndra: I just hope they get married before they do.

Kerry: Knowing them, they're banded already.

Brianndra: You know something we forgot about already?

Kerry and Jaquis: What?

Brianndra: Duh! The interview!

Mew: Mew, mew mew!

Kerry: What did it say?

Mewtwo: It said it thought you forgot about us.

Jaquis: Oh. Could you use your psychic powers to put a translator on it?

(Mewtwo strikes out a blue energy crystal to Mew)

Mew: If you wouldn't mind, I'm a girl, not an 'it'!

Mewtwo and Jaquis: Sorry!

Kerry: Oh, sassy!

Jaquis: And, finally, on to the interview

Brianndra: Mewtwo, if you look carefully, there are some people who don't entirely understand the true meaning of the movie, Kerry being one of them

Kerry: Hey!

Jaquis: And a lot of people would like to know what the moral of the story was

Mew: Well, basically, it's about-

Brianndra: AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Kerry: What?

Brianndra (Crying hysterically): I LOST THE DIAMOND AND RUBY NECKLACE MY PARENTS GAVE TO ME WHEN I WAS A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaquis: Everyone search the ground for a diamond and ruby necklace!

Mew: You naïve little fools! Don't you know all you have to do is ask me? (Uses psy. powers to search the ground, finds the necklace, and teleports it to Brianndra.) Duh!

Brianndra: Thank you so much, Mew! How could I ever repay you?

Mew: Take me home and pamper me with goodies for the rest of our natural lives.

Brianndra: Yes, of course! I've always wanted a Mew!

Jaquis: Ya know, we're creating alotta diversions from the interview!

Kerry: We have five minutes before the interview is over, and we're not even done with the first question!

Brianndra: We could reschedule the conference!

Jaquis: Are you kidding!?!? Did you see what happened to A'Kira and Cassandra? I am NOT going to go through that!

Kerry: We could do it after the next interview, like Brian said!

Brianndra: Fine. Well, this is Brianndra William saying good night and God bless everyone for Kerry Tinnikis and Jaquis Gulyban!

Pro. Oak, Bill the Pokemaniac, Pro. Ivy, and Mrs. Ketchum

A'Kira: Hello, and welcome to another edition of the PokeWorld Interviews, Channel 56! I'm A'Kira Alone Bennett

Lauren: And I'm Lauren Azandrea Mohammed. Today we are interrogating three of the most renowned figures in Pokémon history and research, as well as some woman that no one cares about who just happens to be Ash's mother.

Mrs. Ketchum: Well, that wasn't very nice!

Lauren: Maybe I'm just not very nice.

Professor Ivy: What's up with her?

A'Kira: Ignore her. She's mad because her girlfriend dumped her

Lauren: For another girl!

Bill: Excuse me, but don't you mean boyfriend?

A'Kira: No, she's a lesbian.

Bill: Oh.

Professor Oak: Can we get on with this?

Lauren: You have an appointment?

Pro. Oak: Yes, I have another interview in about twenty minutes.

A'Kira (Whispering to Lauren): Too bad he's not gonna make it! (Turns to Pro. Oak) The show's an hour long, so you might be a little late

Lauren: First question, please.

A'Kira: Professor Ivy, this questions for you: Did Brock Flagstone lay a finger on you while he was living with you?

Pro. Ivy: Lay a finger on me? In which way? (A'Kira raises an eyebrow) Oh, in that way No, never. Well, maybe once, by accident Then there was another, which wasn't so accidental Other than that. Not really Not a lot Kinda Almost Yes.

Lauren: See, A'Kira? Now you see how much having a girlfriend cheating on you sucks!

A'Kira: Boyfriend, if you please.

Lauren: Boyfriend, then.

A'Kira: Bill, do you take being called a Pokemaniac as a compliment or an offensive comment?

Bill: Both, at times. Usually it just depends on which way the person says it.

Lauren: Basically, the way they form the sentence?

Bill: Exactly.

A'Kira: So, if I said "Bill the Pokemaniac is crazy about something as stupid as Pokemon"?

Bill: I'd do this (Jumps up, tramples A'Kira, pins her to the ground, and strangles her)

Lauren (Nonchalantly): No, stop, don't do that!

A'Kira (Strangling): Hey, I only wanted to see what you would do if I told you that

Bill (Lets A'Kira go): Sorry. I get a bit defensive at times

A'Kira (Rubbing her neck): Yeah, most men aren't that strong!

Ivy: How would you know?

(A'Kira and Ivy look at each other and) A'Kira and Ivy: Brock.

Lauren: Professor Oak, how long have you been studying Pokemon?

Pro. Oak: Oh, only about 300 years.

(Profound silence)

A'Kira: Excuse me, but did I just hear you say "300 years"??

Pro. Oak: You are not mistaken.

Lauren: But, no one can live that long!

Pro. Oak: I do. Everyone in my family had lived to be at least 700. I'm just like Dick Clark. I live forever!!!!!!!!!!

Lauren: I'm gonna have you sold to the National Inquirer.

Pro. Oak: Been there, done that. About 400 years ago, they wanted me burned at the stake.

A'Kira (Muttering): Too bad they didn't. Then they coulda came forward in time and burned Brock, too!

Mrs. Ketchum: Pardon me, but aren't you going to ask me a question?

A'Kira: No, you're just like Tracy. You have no effect on the storyline whatsoever, so we have nothing to say to you.

Mrs. Ketchum: Then it wouldn't matter if I leave? I still have to talk to the police about the disappearance of Ash!

Pro. Oak: That's what my next interview is about! Gary disappeared, too!

Mrs. Ketchum: And they both disappeared

Pro. Oak. and Mrs. Ketchum (Ganging up on A'Kira and Lauren): Right after the interview!

Lauren: Really, we have nothing to do with that!

A'Kira: Next question!

Lauren: Our next and final question is for you, Mrs. Ketchum. Is there any truth to the rumor that Giovanni Gambini is Ash's father?

Mrs. Ketchum: Why would you say that?

A'Kira: First of all, Ash doesn't have a father at home.

Mrs. Ketchum: How would you know?

A'Kira: Aren't we the one's interviewing you?

Lauren: He went of to train Pokemon, didn't he?

A'Kira: And it would be cool if Ash's father was the leader of the organization Ash hates most!

Mrs. Ketchum (Very angry expression on her face): No, that's not it. Giovanni isn't Ash's father. The good for nothing bastard left right after Ash was born. Said he didn't want to have the responsibility of a child just then. He didn't even give me child support! I've lived on welfare for almost twelve years!

Lauren: So you DO know my pain and suffering!

Mrs. Ketchum: Yeah. Hey, wanna go out for ice cream and woman talk?

A'Kira: Lauren's buying!

Pro. Ivy: I'll go with you!

(All the girls walk off stage, leaving Pro. Oak and Bill behind. Bob the producer walks on stage.)

Bob: Well, this is Bob Piechocki saying good night for A'Kira Alone Bennett and Lauren Azandrea Mohammed! See you at the next and LAST interview!