Rating: PG-13, for a whole bunch of reasons.

Other: This is the final one! I thought about turning it into a series, but the truth is I just can't think up enough plots that have Jessie, James, Butch and Cassidy getting all smoochy and Ash and Misty talking crazy and Tracey trying to kill Brock. I'll still write stories, of course, but this is the last in the Love Boat series. By the way, colt-cocking is when you knock someone out with one punch. I didn't know that at first, so I thought maybe I should tell you too. Oh, and I know the title sucks. I just couldn't think of anything better.

Dedicated to Jessie and Cassidy, my cousins. Believe it or not, my two girl cousins have the same names as the Rocket girls!

Finally...
for the LAST time...
Jayhawkfan13 presents...

Intro
There was evil afoot in Pallet Town. Tracey Sketchit, insane with rage at the fact that he'd failed to get rid of Brock twice, had enlisted in the help of two equally crazy people. Regina Sketchit, Tracey's twin sister from New York, and his country bumpkin friend, the one we all love to hate..... JESSEBELLE!!!!! Together with these madwomen he may just be able to finish Brock off once and for all!! (Dun dun duuuuuun!)

Ash and Gary glared at eachother across the table.

"Craphead," Ash muttered.

"Gay," Gary growled.

Professor Oak and Mrs. Ketchum sat down across from each other. Ash and Gary didn't notice the smile Mrs. Ketchum gave Oak.

"Um, guys," Delia Ketchum began, "We have an announcement to make."

Professor Samuel Oak nodded, "Right. Listen to Delia now, this is important."

Ash and Gary stopped whispering insults long enough to look up and hear what Delia had to say.

"While you were off on your little adventures," she began, "I really got to know Sam. And now that you're back home, we've decided to get married."

Ash fell out of his chair. Gary jumped to his feet.

"Mom, what the %$#@ are you talking about?!?" Ash shouted, "He's like 75!!!"

"Watch your language!" she snapped, "And he's 50."

"You're actually gonna marry this bimbo??" Gary questioned.

Samuel smacked him, "Shut up Gary. Don't make me get medieval on your @$$."

Ash stared in amazement at Professor Oak, "Dude! You just colt-cocked Gary! I love you!"

Ash gave him a hug.

Misty and Brock, who'd been told to stay in the living room, walked in.

"Can we eat now?" Misty wondered.

Samuel nodded, "Sure. The spaghetti's on the stove."

"Ooo, this stove is hot," Misty said, looking at Ash, "A little too hot."

"Is it hot? Hot like you??" Ash rushed over to her.

"Oh yeah. Hotter than even me."

"That must be HOT."

Delia coughed loudly.

Ash and Misty blushed.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Mom, we're dating," Ash explained.

Delia rolled her eyes, "Really? I had no idea."

Brock looked down at Gary, "What happened to him?"

"Professor Oak colt-cocked him," Ash told him, "It was so cool. You shoulda been here!"

Brock leaned down next to him, "Hey Gary. Where do you keep the phone numbers for your cheerleaders?"

Gary, who was awake but still pretty woozy, said stupidly, "In my back jeans pocket."

Brock shuddered, "Nevermind. Even phone numbers aren't worth that."

Sam, who tended to have long memory lapses, suddenly remembered something, "Say Brock, I thought you were hanging out with Violeta Ivy."

Brock grimaced, "THAT she-devil!? I could only stand her for a few months! I mean, she was always bossing me around, and who needs that?"

Oak nodded, "That could drive a person crazy."

"Yaa, crazy like a fox," Brock said slyly.

Sam's eyes glazed over, "Still, she was pretty hot."

Both got faraway looks in their eyes, "Mmmm..."

"Aww, how sweet. A player bonding moment," Delia said dryly. She smacked Samuel upside the head, "We're engaged, remember?"

He rubbed his head, nodding vigorously, "Uh, yaa, whatever you say honey."

~

Cassidy and Butch had recently gotten married. Because Giovanni was a cheapskate, they didn't have enough money for a real honeymoon. So, they called a temporary truce and pooled their money together with Jessie and James. It was off to the Sea-Foam Islands!

Unfortunately, (and because bad things seem to happen to Team Rocket for no particular reason) a storm came up, and Butch and James were swept into the ocean. Jessie and Cassidy looked and looked, but couldn't seem to find them. The boys were lost.

James woke up, buried up to his waist in sand. Carefully he pulled himself out, dusting off. When he looked around, he saw Butch watching with mild interest.

"You could have helped me out," he informed him.

Butch shrugged, lighting a damp cigarette, "Like you woulda done it for me."

James took a seat on a rock next to Butch, "So where the #@%^ are we?"

"On some small Sea-Foam Island I guess," he told him, "So I guess this is the kind of crap you and Jess go through all the time?"

"Shut up," James muttered.

After a while, Butch asked the big question, "So how do we get outta here?"

"Do I look like I would know?" James questioned irritantly, "I don't have a frickin' compass in my head."

Butch, paying no attention to James, answered himself, "I guess we'll just wait for the girls to find us."

"Whatever," James said. Jessie'd told him some stories about Butch, and none of it was good.

"Yaa," Butch agreed. Cassidy had mentioned James a few times, and it all sounded bad.

They waited, and waited. But no boats or airplanes even came within hearing distance. About the time the sun started going down, both boys' stomachs rumbled.

"You got any food?" Butch asked.

James pulled out a 4-pound bag of Rare Candy, "There's about 50 in here. I was gonna give them to Wheezing..."

Butch snatched the bag out of James' hands, "How'd you get this anyway? You couldn't steal something if your life depended on it."

James smirked, "That's only Pokémon. Being in a bike gang taught me how to pick pockets-"

Butch interrupted, "Nevermind, I didn't wanna hear a life story."

James popped a rare candy into his mouth, "These aren't poisonous, are they?"

"Do you even care right now?" Butch said between bites.

"Nope," James replied, grabbing a handful.

They munched on the candies, watching the sun set.

~

The front door of the Ketchum house slammed shut.

"That'll be Brock, back from the eye doctor," Misty said, not glancing up once from her Seventeen Magazine.

Brock barged into the room, shouting angrily, "I hate these $#@^ things! Why'd you make me go to the $#@* eye doctor anyway?!"

Ash looked up, to see Brock wearing glasses, "You kept running into walls."

"I think you look very handsome," Delia said sweetly.

Brock snorted, "Yaa, just like every other mom would say."

"At least people won't accuse you of being eyeless anymore," Gary pointed out.

Misty smiled, "Actually, you have kinda nice brown eyes."

Brock sat down in a chair, "Whatever. It's only for a couple days anyway. I'm gettin' lasic surgery"

~

Outside the house, Tracey and Regina were chortling evilly, "Mwahaha. Mwahahaha. Mwahaha."

Jessebelle tested her whip on a twig. It snapped in half, "Can we just get on with this? The soonah we destroy Brock the soonah Ah can get my James."

Regina rolled her eyes, "Yaa, okay. You got it memorized Tracey?"

He nodded, "Let's roll."

~

Ash and Misty were still trying to convince Brock that he didn't look like a geek, when black and red smoke filled the room.

"Team Rocket?" Ash questioned.

"I thought they were honeymooning." Misty commented.

"Prepare for trouble!" Regina shouted.

"Make it double!" Tracey yelled.

"We're both insane with desperation."

"To rid Brock out of this and every nation."

"To denounce the evils of everything Brock."

"To bash his head in with a rock."

The two became visible.

"Regina!"

"Tracey!"

"We're the Sketchit twins, one's got brains and one's got bite."

"Give up Brock now or we'll have to punch out your lights."

Jessebelle appeared from nowhere, brandishing a whip, "That's right!"

Regina, dressed in a leather jacket, red tube top, and tight leather mini skirt, was Gary's type of woman.

"Hi!" he greeted, turning bright red, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Regina pulled out an iron-tipped whip, smiling coyly, "Nope. I don't s'pose you gotta girlfriend?"

Gary shook his head.

Regina winked, "Ya do now."

Tracey coughed loudly.

"Oh right," Regina remembered the reason for being here. "We'll talk after I get rid of dis loser, kay?"

Tracey, Regina and Jessebelle stood, glaring at Brock.

"Give us the kid now!" Jessebelle ordered, flicking a whip at Ash and Misty.

Ash and Misty backed off, "Take him! He's yours!"

"Guys!" Brock exclaimed.

"We've seen what she can do with those things," Ash grimaced, pointing at the whip.

Brock turned away, "I'm hurt. Deeply and truly hurt."

"Oh get over it!" Misty snapped, "You woulda done the same thing!"

~

Butch and James had just finished off the bag of rare candy. Like most people know, rare candy is just like alcohol, so the two were feeling pretty good.

"An's so then I says, 'I thought you meant ducks!'" Butch said in a slurred voice.

James threw back his head and laughed, "Haha! Women! Ther so crazah!"

Butch put his finger on James' chest, "Ya know what? Yer all right. Cass allays said ya were a no-good self-centered %$#@*, but I think yer okay. I'm gonna let you be my best man!"

"Yer already married ya idjut!" James reminded him. "But I tell you what... I'm gonna let you be my best man!"

Butch slapped him on the back. "I love you man!"

They broke into a fit of giggles.

"Has Cass ever made you dress up in a tutu and parade aroun' unnerwater?" James wondered.

"Nope," he eyed James. "She didn't!"

He nodded, "You bettah believe she did! An' then anuther time, on Kid's Day I think, I had ta wear anuther dress, but this time it wuzn't so bad."

"Why's that?" Butch wondered.

James started snickering. "Cuz, hehe, she wuz wearin' this really low cut top, hehe, that I specially designed fer her. An' oh boy, suddenly she didn't look so much like a guy, if ya know what I mean!"

He nudged Butch.

Butch laughed, then stopped. He shook his head. "No idea what ya mean."

James chuckled. "Less jus' say that if she jumped aroun' somethin' woulda fallen out!"

Butch scratched his head. "Yer talkin' in rhymes here man. What're ya sayin?"

James whispered the meaning.

Butch cackled. "Ohahahaha! I should try that trick out on Cass! Hahahaha!"

~

Brock shrugged, "It's cool. I can handle these three idiots on my own."

Gary bumped chests with Brock, "Wadda ya mean idiot!? That is a beautiful woman!"

Brock pushed him away. "Yeah, whatever Gayry. That's what people call you behind your back, right?" he turned back to Tracey and the girls. "Go Onix!"

"Do people really say that?" Gary asked Professor Oak.

He blushed. "Actually, a lot of people were calling you and Ash were 'the ambiguously gay duo.' But, what do they know?"

"I could get a date!" Gary shouted. "I have seven cheerleaders though, so why do I need more women?"

"But you pay them," Ash pointed out. "Don't act like you don't."

"According to the rumors you and I are ambiguously gay, okay?" Gary said through gritted teeth. "So you better just shut up!"

"They just say that because of the Saturday Night Live cartoon," Delia explained, trying to prevent fighting. "You know, Ace and Gary, Ash and Gary."

Misty pondered this. "Ya know, that is kind of a weird connection, don't you think?"

Brock, Tracey, Regina and Jessebelle all coughed loudly. "Ah-hem! Eyes back to the action!"

Misty giggled. "Oh, I dunno. If Ash and Gary get in a fight that could possibly be better entertainment."

"Yeah, I've seen Ace and Gary fight," Sam commented. He noticed the icy look Gary and Ash gave him. "Um, nevermind."

Brock sighed that funky anchovy shape. "Onix, bind them!"

Onix advanced on the trio of delinquents. Jessebelle and Regina snapped whips at the rock Pokémon, holding him at bay while Tracey pulled out a Pokéball.

"Go Meril!"

The small overweight Pikachu came out of it's Pokéball. "Meril!"

Brock snorted. "Figures. A gay guy would have gay Pokémon."

Tracey smirked. "Meril, water gun!"

Sure, the attack isn't the best water attack in the world. But Tracey's Meril didn't know any others cuz it sucked, remember? Anyway, despite the crappiness of the attack, Onix was weak against it and passed out.

"This should get good," Ash remarked. "Zubat's the only Pokémon he's got that aren't sucky against water, and Zubat's his worst!"

"Oh, I don't think that's exactly accurate," Brock said, pulling out a Pokéball. "Ya see, I managed to get a couple Pokémon while I was with Professor Ivy. In fact, I could probably kick your @$$ in battle right now. Go Electabuzz!"

The funny-looking electric Pokémon glared menacingly at Meril.

"Electabuzz, thunderbolt!"

Bzzzzzzap! Meril was out like a light.

Brock yawned. "It's just too easy."

"Go Scyther and Venonat!"

"Get'm Vulpix."

Fire engulfed the two pathetic Pokémon, destroying them instantly.

Tracey sighed. Jessebelle pouted. "Ah guess Ah can't send out Vileplume. You got any Pokémon Regina?"

She shook her head. "I perfer beatin' the livin' daylights outta people."

Brock jumped up and down. "Kick@$$!! I won a battle and I didn't even have to bribe or have people take pity on me! In your face Ash!"

"Ya know, that kid's got skills," Gary admitted.

Brock once again grinned slyly. "In and out of battle."

"Pimp," Misty mumbled.

~

Butch smiled sleepily. "Yer one hot guy, y'know that? If I wuz a lady, I'd get t'gether with you like that!"

James shot him a sideways glance. "What are you sayin'?"

Butch spread his arms. "Gimme a hug buddy!"

"Hey! I'm not like that!" James shouted, backing away.

"Well me neither," Butch shrugged. "I jus' figgered we could have a li'l bondin' moment."

James thought it over. "Oh. I thought maybe you were one o' them-"

"No!"

"Not that that's a bad thing. I'm open-minded..."

"I am NOT bi!"

"S'okay if y'are."

"Well I aint!"

"Fine, fine. Geez, jus' a simple question."

After a few minutes James yawned. "It's kinda late. Mebbe I'll jus' see ya tomorrow."

"Yaa, sure. G'night James."

"G'night Butch."

The two crawled into the bushes and fell asleep.

~

Delia walked out of the house. "Well, I called the police."

All eyes turned to her. "What??"

"I called the police." Sirens could be heard in the distance. "Oh! That's them now!"

Regina, Tracey and Jessebelle looked at each other. "Oh crap."

"Yes!" Brock and Sam yelled happily. "Hottie cop!"

"Ash, I just had a thought," Misty said. "You and I have barely had a moment to... sweet talk."

"Hmm, you're right," he said, grinning.

"So... police sometimes scare me."

"Yeah? Are ya scared?"

"Uh-huh! Hold me close!"

"Scared now?"

"Oh no. You'll make everything better you hot Pokémon Master!"

"If I'm a hot Pokémon Master, than you're a sexy water trainer."

"Better believe it!"

"Do you understand any of this?" Gary questioned Brock.

He sighed. "I've stopped trying."

"They don't... do anything, do they?" Delia asked.

Brock shook his head. "It's all talk. They don't even kiss."

"And you know this because you spend every moment with them," Gary said sarcastically.

"If only I could say that weren't true," Brock groaned.

Officer Jenny's police car came flying around the corner just then, stopping anymore pointless banter.

~

James awoke with a splitting headache and a messed up stomach. After spewing every last rare candy out of his system, James walked into the clearing. Butch sat, head between knees.

"Holy hangover Batman," James muttered.

Butch nodded. "Rare candies suck rhino."

"They suck whale," James added.

"They suck wookie," Butch continued.

"Wookie?" James questioned.

"Yaa. Chewbacca."

"Don't yell at me man! My head hurts already."

Suddenly they heard the sound of a motor boat. Looking up, they saw a boat speeding towards them, Cassidy and Jessie on the front.

"Girls! We're over here! Here!"

James waved his arms. Jessie waved back. "They see us!"

Soon the motorboat came to a stop in front of the island. James and Butch hopped on.

"Butch! Sweetie!"

"Jamie-poo!"

"Hun, don't use that pet name in front of them," James whined. "My manhood is at stake."

Cassidy ran a finger over Butch's chest. "Want a little love power tonight?"

"Maybe later," Butch groaned absentmindedly.

Cassidy let go of him. "Humph! I'd think after one night alone on the beach you'd be glad to see me."

"Have you ever downed 25 rare candies in one night?" Butch wondered.

Cassidy shook her head.

"Then please shut up," he moaned, leaning on her shoulder.

The captain came out of the cabin. "Anyone hungry? I've got pancakes and sausage..."

Butch and James leaned over the rail and hurled.

~

"Where are the lunatics?" Jenny asked, jumping out of the car.

Brock and Sam blushed. "Hey Jenny. You look prettier every day!"

Jenny whipped out handcuffs. "Are these them?"

Delia shook her head, pointing to Tracey, Regina and Jessebelle. "Those're your people."

Jenny advanced on the three. Gary jumped in front of Regina.

"It's okay! She's with me!"

Jenny nodded, glaring at Jessebelle. Her eyes noticed the deadly whips she held. "Hmm, carrying a whip without a license. That's a heavy penalty young lady."

She turned to Tracey. "And you! Terrorizing women, children and the elderly!" Sam turned a purplish color. "Well I'd say you'll both be in prison for about, oh, three years."

"No! By then James'll be married to that ^%$# Jessie!" Jessebelle screamed.

The two fugitives started to run.

"Sara! I need some help!" Jenny called.

A girl about Brock's age jumped out of the police car. She held a Magnum in each hand. "Freeze scum!"

Tracey and Jessebelle watched gloomily as handcuffs were put on their wrists and they were thrown into the police car.

"You'll live to regret this!" Tracey screamed evilly.

"Watch your butts in three years, when we'll be back!" Jessebelle added.

"Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!" they laughed.

Sara put away her guns and turned to face the others. Brock and her eyes met for a second...

"Hi! What's your name! Your really pretty!"

"I'm Sara! Who're you! I don't s'pose you have a girlfriend?"

"Nope! Do you? A boyfriend, I mean."

"Nuh-uh. I wanna be a police officer how 'bout you?"

"Breeding! For Pokémon, of course. I'm Brock."

"That's so cool!"

Both were bright red and babbling like crazy.

"Sara!" Jenny snapped. "You coming?"

Sara nodded. "Wanna come back to the station Brock?"

"Sure," he smiled dreamily. "You know, I'm the one who held off the two psychos while Mrs. Ketchum called the police!"

"You're sooooo brave!"

"I love the way you wield guns!"

"And I love the way you look in glasses! They make you look so smart and hot!"

Once the police car had sped off down the road, complete with Sara and Brock making out in the back-seat next to Jessebelle and Tracey, Regina smiled at Gary.

"Yer an awesome boyfriend! Ya know, I didn't wanna do that crap anyway. It was Tracey's idea," she said sexily.

"Oh, I knew that--" Gary began.

Regina reached out a whip and wrapped it around Gary. She pulled him close. "You know of somewhere we can be alone?"

"My house, right up the street."

She tugged him along the road. "Let's go hun."

Regina ran off down the road, Gary being dragged behind.

"My grandson sure is frisky," Sam commented.

Delia sighed, smiling. She looked at Ash and Misty, who were saying some majorly odd things to each other.

"Ya know Sam, they say you're only as old as you feel..."

He pulled her into the Ketchum house. "I know exactly what you mean!"

Author's note: Well, there it is! Probably not as good as the first two, but then again, sequels never are, huh? Unless you count the Indiana Jones movies... I had fun with this one. And Brock finally found the perfect girl! I named her after one of my best friends, who actually thinks Brock is hot! *gag* -- well, send your opinions and angry letters to Jayhawkfan13@aol.com. Thanks for taking time to read!