Segment 5
My Story
Today is July 28, 1999. I am sitting in my new house and am quite happy
with it. We have had some problems that the previous owners did not disclose in
a statement to buyers. The plumbing is the problem. We have had seven visits
from three different plumbing companies so far. First, the sewer drain from the
house was stopped up. We got that cleared. Second, the new washing machine we
bought has a terrific drain pump that drains the washer so fast, the drain pipe
could not handle the massive amount of water. We went round and round over that
one but finally got the pipe cleared out enough to handle the flow. Finally,
the sewer pipe was stopped up again. I wonder if that is going to be an ongoing
problem. If so, we will have the pipe replaced which will destroy our yard, but
hey, I want to be able to go to the bathroom.
I did encounter a problem with my last appointment with the psychiatrist.
My appointment was set for July 1. I called in two days in advance to verify
the date and time and received the statement that I would be a work-in
appointment. "What do you mean a work-in appointment? I’ve had this
appointment set a month ago." The appointment clerk was quite mysterious
about the whole thing and did not give me an answer. The morning of my
appointment I called in and found out that my psychiatrist was no longer on
staff with Hunt County MHMR. Even the place for the appointment was changed
without notifying me. I was a bit upset about the whole procedure. So I go for
my appointment to a doctor I have never seen before. I took a list of all the
medications I was currently taking. This new doctor talked with me for about 10
minutes and took my list of medications and renewed them all without a blink of
the eye. I wonder if this new guy is one of those doctors that gives you
whatever you ask for or if he will make decisions on how I am actually doing.
I do figure the Wellbutrin is doing the trick as I am not reacting as I
used to. I have become more docile and not openly hostile to problems. Don’t
get me wrong, I still get angry but I am in more control of how I express my
anger. I have also noticed I get over the anger quicker than I used to. I had a
friend explain his experience with Wellbutrin. He said, "You still pee in
your pants, but you just don’t care." I have not gotten to that point yet
but I am feeling better. You would think I would be ready to tear the walls
down over my plumbing problems, and I would be in the old days, but now I take
it as, "Oh well, things happen." Now tell me, doesn’t that seem the
better way to react? Change, still gives me a problem and I don’t know quite
yet how to handle that. But I am trying.
Even with the improved condition that I contribute to Wellbutrin, I still
have ups and downs. However, they seemed to have slowed down in occurrences.
The movies in my head of me committing suicide have not stopped but are less
intense and less often. I am dealing with them. Things seem to be getting
better, or at least more managable. I still find myself walking on egg shells,
wondering if things will go to heck and I will have to start all over again. I
keep an eye open to see how I am doing and if I can improve, or if I am
slipping down again. It bothers me. But again, I am dealing with it. I want to
get to the point that I feel normal and don’t worry about if my next step will
be my last in this world of stability. I hope that is in my future.
Thanks for reading this stuff about my life with Bipolar Disorder. I hope
you can benefit from something I say. Like Wellbutrin for instance. Maybe you
can talk with your doctor, and consider this medication. Maybe consider the
complete regimen of medications I am currently taking. Welbutrin, Neurontin,
Vistaril, and Respirdal. Maybe you can swap what you are taking, if it does not
seem to be doing the trick, and consider mine. But like I said in the very
beginning, "Always follow the advice of a professional."
