Segment
7
My Story
The date today is Thursday September
14, 2000. My medications have changed
again. I now take Wellbutrin 150 SR two
in the morning and one at bedtime, Depakote 500 mg. one in the morning and two at
bedtime, finally Neurontin 400 mg. 2 capsules three times a day. I no longer take any of the other
medications. I think we have found a
happy level for me. I still have ups
and downs, but they are normally not as severe or as long lasting. I did have one set back the other day when I
had my birthday. I turned 50 years old
on August 31. The morning of the 31st,
at approximately 1:15 a.m. I was coming to bed and my wife turned over and
asked what time it was. I told her and
she wished me a happy birthday. I laid
there and thought about that. Then I
decided since I had lived fifty years that it was time to go home. I started to get out of bed, go to where I
keep my pistol and shoot myself in the head.
I got the adrenaline rush in my stomach. I began to get out of bed when I realized that was not the thing
to do. I had to force myself to stay in
bed for the remainder of the night. The
next morning I was ok.
Since school started in early
August, I have substitute taught several times. That always makes me feel good.
I subbed for the fourth grade Friday and again on Monday. I spent the entire time teaching new
material, not babysitting. It was
terrific. Following that, another
teacher requested I sub in her class.
That was an honor to be requested.
Another day, the principal from the middle school called me and asked me
to sub in the middle school math class.
He told me he understood I had marked that I would only sub in the
elementary school. Even so, I really
like this principal, so I agreed. These
age groups reaffirmed the reason I only sub in the elementary schools. Several of the students have such a bad
attitude. I know it comes from their
home environments. How can they be
expected to care when their parents don't care? Most of the parents do not spend any time with their
children. They do not help with the
homework. They do not read to their
child or let their child read to them.
Well, enough of my soapbox.
After 75 consecutive days of no
rain, it finally rained for a short time the other day. I don't know if it was an official rain or
not, but it sure looked good for the short time it was falling. Back in June we got more than eight inches
of rain in two days. It flooded
terribly. I was worried it would flood
into the house. It didn't. But I did not attend a family reunion. I stood guard just in case. My wife and son attended the reunion and
gave my excuses. I do not feel
comfortable around a group of people anyway.
I am still a recluse. However, I
do need to get out more. I need to see
the sun more often. My caseworker tells
me I need at least two hours of sunlight every day.
Well, enough for today. I will try and write to this area more often
than I have in the past. Thank you for
reading about my story.
