Title: Is That a Hole in the Wall?
Author: Bonster
Email: angelxanderforever@hotmail.com
Feedback: Yeah, definitely.
Archive: Let me know, because I like knowing where these boys play.
Pairings: Xander/Spike
Rating: Ranges from PG to NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. They belong to Joss "God" Whedon. Oh and ME, Kuzui, Fox, etc. Except for Roger. He just came along for the ride.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Spike has a bug problem in his apartment. Xander works for Pete's Pest Control. And the bugs, well, they're demonic.
Notes: This is an AU. Xander has found his calling as a pest control worker. Spike is living in an apartment in a magically inclined building. Other Buffy characters? Bah! Who needs them? You think Spike and Xander can't handle bugs? Piffle!
I was standing in my bathroom with the buzzing flies that must be breeding in there because no matter if I kill 4 one day, 5 are back the next day. So I was royally pissed. And apparently Spike decided to tell me a story.
And thanks to Lisa for a cursory evaluation!






"Pete's Pest Control. Roger speaking."

"Yeah, uh, I got a bug problem. I don't know how the bloody annoying little buggers got in or why they stick around, but they're tiresome."

"Okay, sir. A quick question. Are they demonic or non?"

"They have feathers for Christ's sake. What do you think?" An eye-roll heard in the tone of voice.

"Right, sir. Name please and residence."

"Spike and Newland Hills, apartment 206. When can someone come 'round? My favorite telly program is coming on soon, and I want to record the least amount of commercials."

"Well, sir, we have a truck making rounds, and they can be there around five PM. Is that acceptable?"

A slight pause, some slight grumbling, and a muttered, "Yeah. Fine. Just get these shedding buggers out of here."

After the click, Roger put in a call to the number 4 truck, "Harris?"

#####

Nearly yanking the door off its hinges, Spike was poised to make many snarky and snide comments to the Pest Control person who had been sent. However, when he opened the door to find Xander Harris looking bored in full Pete's Pest Control gear, he frowned.

"Oy, whelp. So you're the bug man? Well, I guess since the Slayer is no longer around, you got to fight evil wherever it is found." Spike sneered, and walked back to his chair in front of the television.

After rolling his eyes, Xander looked around the apartment. It was like his, except smaller and with less windows. Not seeing a sign of the bugs that were supposedly lurking, Xander sighed.

"Spike, would you mind showing me where the bugs are, or at least one of the dead ones to get a better idea of the equipment I need?" Xander shifted his feet. He was not nervous. After all, he had known Spike for years, and had been to his old crypt more than a few times. However, entering and de-bugging Spike's attempt at domesticity was disconcerting.

"Didn't that Roger bloke tell you? Guess not. Seeing as how I only told him they had feathers." Spike snorted. "They have feathers, red jeweled eyes, and a habit of standing on their hind legs. Will that help you get your equipment straight?"

Xander blinked. Thinking of straight equipment? With Spike in the room? Shaking his head, and sighing. "Spike, it sounds like Garvinadeles. And they only appear in this dimension like never."

Spike puffed up his chest. "You think I don't know what I'm seeing then? Vampire eyesight doesn't ring a bell? Fine. Follow me."

Spike led Xander toward the kitchen counter, and pointed. "Right about every morning, they form little lines, heading god knows where. And then around noon they march back to wherever it is they call home, like larger and more intelligent ants. And that's all they ever do. However, their bleedin' feathers get everywhere."

Xander quirked an eyebrow. It was not that he did not believe Spike. But the feathers which bothered Spike so much were nowhere to be seen. An image came to Xander's mind of Spike covered in said imaginary feathers, and only imaginary feathers. Think Xander!

Xander frowned and sneered. "Spike, listen. If they really meet your description, and I'm not saying they don't, but if they do, then there are usually thousands of them, and they're too large to be simply staying in a messy corner or in a cabinet."

Spike pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. "Right. You don't believe me. You can't see the feathers and think I'm daft as that demon chit you used to be with. Well, come over here then."

Xander winced at the mention of Anya. They had broken up years ago, but whenever he was around Spike, at the very least her name or as Spike put so succinctly "the demon chit" would make its way into the conversation. Xander wondered what had occurred that he had obviously missed between the two. Or maybe it was just that Spike knew it got under Xander's skin; being an evil vampire and all that.

Spike once again led Xander to another part of his apartment. Xander realized the room must be enchanted because the kitchen counter was again in front of him. However, the gray wall to his left before was now to his right, and was now an egg shell color.

Xander also felt a little light headed. He blinked several times trying to clear the fog that was forming in his mind. He tried to focus on the counter, but it looked as if it was imploding and going sideways all at once. He turned to Spike with slightly parted lips and a frown.

Spike smirked. "Yeah. The whole building's got so many enchantments the enchantments get confused." Spike chuckled. "You should have seen me tryin' to take a shower this one time, and the water...Xander? Are you all right mate?"

The image of Spike in the shower pushed Xander`s befuddled brain over the edge. The entire world started spinning and his stomach was lurching; all of which could not be entirely contributed to the surrounding enchantments, as much as the swirling images of a naked, wet Spike.

Spike's worried eyes were the last thing Xander saw before the world faded to black.



Part 2

Xander groaned. His neck was stiff and when he tried to pop it, it was only made worse. When he opened his eyes, platinum hair and a smirk greeted him.

"Hey Fangless. What happened?" Xander tried sitting up, but when a wave of nausea hit, he quickly lay back, tightly closing his eyes.

Xander was reminded of when he had had those fatal diseases one Thanksgiving. He had since taken vitamins regularly and had not gotten so much as a cold. The last time he had even been nauseated was when last years migration of Trakkas had arrived, causing an acrid taste, and even worse smell to permeate the town's water supply for over a month. He had not been the only one to experience stomach problems then.

Again opening his eyes, Xander saw Spike with a slight worried frown looking down at him. "What is it? I'm not dying am I?" Xander was suddenly afraid.

When Xander felt the back of Spike's cool fingers on his forehead, his eyes widened. Wondering what Spike was up to, and frantically hoping that *that* was up too, his eyes quickly shut again. He knew his heart beat had sped up, and Spike probably had heard it. Xander, however, almost did not hear when Spike started speaking.

"I'm checking you for a fever. God knows you're prone to such things." Looking satisfied there was no fever, Spike spoke, "Well, the intertwining enchantments usually disorient humans. Can't say I've seen one pass out though. But since it's you, Harris, I should have known something like this would happen. God! I am not bloody calling that Pete's again."

Xander fought the snicker that threatened to emerge at exactly what had caused him to faint. Sighing, Xander managed to sit up. With only a little dizziness, he spoke, "Great, Spike. I'm so glad you didn't think to warn me of the possibility of me passing out when walking around your apartment." Xander stood and stretched. "Man, I feel hung over." He looked at his watch. It read after nine.

"Oh great. I was supposed to return the truck by seven, and then get much needed sleep. Well, the sleep part actually doesn't apply now that I've been unconscious for several hours." Xander snorted.

Spike looked him over. "Well, uh, you could always stay here if you need to."

Xander blinked rapidly. "What?"

Spike pursed his lips. "Seeing as how you could see for yourself the way the bugs march and all in the morning. You know, uh, rather than prowling around on hands and knees all night searching them out. And I really don't need an unconscious human in my way, unless he was food. And seeing as how you're not food, but a bug man, then...."

Spike's rambling was cut off by Xander's too loud, "Okay."

Spike frowned, and then raised his eyebrows in a What-the-hell gesture. Snorting, Spike went to the refrigerator and retrieved a packet of blood.

While Spike puttered around the small kitchen, Xander was inwardly doing a happy dance. He had wanted to sleep with Spike, correction, over with Spike, since they had lived together in Xander's old basement for a short time. Add that to the fact that he had stopped listening after "on hands and knees all night" and he was indeed more than okay with the situation.

While Spike was making his meal, Xander wrinkled his nose and went toward the nearby sofa. Hoping it would not move, he gently sat down. Relief flowing through him at the couch's continued stillness, Xander lay his head against the soft cushions of the back.

Xander's stomach chose that moment to grumble and rumble. Xander scratched his head. He knew that Spike would not have any food, and he definitely did not want to go out.

"Hey, Spike," Xander called out. "I need food. Any good delivery places around here?"

Spike made his way over to the armchair next to the couch. Taking a gulp, he said, "Well, there is a pizza place. You've got your own cash to pay for it don't you?" Gulp, slurp.

Xander made an ick face, and replied, "Yeah, I got money." He paused, realizing that Spike had covertly offered to pay for food. Xander's draw dropped. "Did you just offer to pay for my dinner?"

Spike's eyes widened, and he coughed. "Course I didn't. What makes you think that?" His eyes everywhere but Xander.

"You did! Man, is that priceless or what. The Big Bad himself almost paying for a slayerette's sustenance. You know you'll never live this down, right?" Xander smirked and crossed his arms in a childish gesture.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Whatever. The phone is over there by the counter."

Xander shuddered. He did not want to go near that counter if it could be helped. "Uh, Spike? Is there any way the phone can be not over there? And somewhere closer to over here?"

Spike grinned wickedly. "Well, whelp, I think that could be arranged. But only if you apologize. I am heartily, or not so heartily as much deathly, offended at your insinuations." And with a flourish, Spike tilted his mug and drank what was left. He then stood up, and proceeded to the kitchen. After dropping his mug in the sink, he stood next to the phone. He picked up the receiver, but did not dial. He instead began pretending to give food orders of all kinds.

Xander groaned. With mentions of pizza with extra cheese, extra fortune cookies, extra french fries, et cetera, filling his mind with images and his stomach with twists, Xander knew this was going to be a long night.



Part 3 (Spike's POV)

After Spike decided a Xander who was unconscious again was going to be an unhappy conscious Xander, he decided to go ahead and carry the phone over to a certain human occupying his couch; said human with a now relieved look upon his face.

Scoffing and rolling his eyes for the ten thousandth time in ten minutes, Spike settled back into his armchair and pondered the situation. He had neither seen nor heard from Xander in at least six months, and to be acting as if they had not been apart was striking to the demon. In fact if he really thought about it, he felt quite comfortable, with a touch of giddy added in the mix.

Hmmph, Spike thought. I do not do giddy. Not even with my Dru or with Buffy did I do giddy. I certainly am not getting giddy because the whelp is sitting on my couch.

However, when he looked over to where Xander was placing his order, Spike realized he did feel giddy. He had always liked the whelp; he just had not thought it was in a romantic capacity. Xander was like a doltish brother or something, not someone to be desired really. Even if many of Spike’s dreams were about Xander, a naked Xander, a naked writhing Xander; it did not mean he was interested in pursuing anything. Although Spike knew he would treat him a damn site better than *Anya* ever had.

Spike shuddered. The ex-demon had broken Xander’s heart by leaving him for a famous Wall Street broker. When Xander had come out of the funk he had fallen in, the world had changed. Spike had watched the changes with interest, but they mostly did not affect him.

After having many gratuitous flings, Spike had finally gotten over Buffy. Buffy and Giles had finally realized they were actually more than just Slayer and Watcher, and with Faith finally out of jail and able to return to Sunnydale, they set off to guard the Sau Paulo hellmouth.

As for Willow and Tara, they had decided to open a small school back east, and taught many fine young witches and warlocks. Dawn was in college not far from them.

That brought his mind full circle to Xander. The boy had become a man somewhere along the way, although Spike knew very well that “man” was a relative term. Spike sighed.

Although he dreamed of those brown eyes more than any others, Spike knew the thing that had made him suggest Xander's sleeping over was a good idea, was the way Xander’s heart beat had gone from normal to swift when he had felt for a fever. Spike could not tell if it was from nervous “I like you” feelings or from nervous “ew, the undead” feelings, but it gave him a strange sense of hope. He was resolved to figure those feelings out one way or another.

When Xander had agreed to stay, Spike did the first thing that came to his mind, well, actually it was the second thing after doing Xander. He went about distracting himself with a mug of blood.

Realizing Xander had said something while he was in his reverie, Spike said, “What?”

Xander rolled his eyes. “I said, they should be here in about thirty minutes. Now I need to use the bathroom, and you need to either show me or tell me the right way to get to it.”

Oh, I’ll show you the right way to get to it all right, Spike thought. Clearing his head, Spike said, “Just follow along to the right of the wall with the door in it. You should get there by tomorrow.” With a smirk, he turned on the TV.

As Xander warily made his way to the bathroom, Spike turned back to his television. Ooh! A late night Lifetime movie! The whelp will have a fit. Chuckling, Spike made himself more comfortable, and awaited Xander's return.



Part 4

Xander made it safely to the bathroom. He breathed a sigh of relief. He did not have to *go*, so much as he needed a space to collect himself, and think out why he was staying the night in an apartment full of enchantments that were obviously harmful to his health, add to that the bugs that were currently off in the wild blue apartment unknown

Shaking his head he went toward the sink. However, the shower across the way called his attention. He remembered his other incentive for staying.

Spike.

He could imagine Spike standing there, the soapy suds idly dripping to the shower bottom. A hand dragging a wash cloth across a chiseled chest. Soft lips parted, whispering Xander's name.

Xander banged his head against the wall. His thoughts were not helping to relieve or calm *anything*.

Remembering Spike had said something about the enchantments affecting the shower, Xander trembled. That would be one thing he would not be doing while here. Wait a minute, Xander thought. Maybe if I pass out naked, in the shower, then Spike would have to touch me. He’d probably just man-handle me, though. Although, I wouldn’t complain. Nah. He’d probably just turn the cold water on and leave me to wake up on my own. And cold water and naked did not go together

Sighing, Xander went to the sink to throw water on his face. His hands under the cold stream,  he sensed his empty stomach’s angry disapproval at being neglected,  and decided to make his way back.

The path was far less strenuous going than coming. He felt almost confident there were no secret enchantments.

He flopped onto the couch and looked at the TV. He frowned.

“Spike? What is this?”

Spike merely smirked. 

Slightly irritated, Xander tried to figure out what was on. “Spike? Is that a battered woman on trial for murdering her husband?”

Spike shrugged his shoulders with an innocent look on his face.

Xander watched. There was evidence that the woman was abused. And was that the detective who had been on the stand, but was now moving to sit behind the woman? And did he look sympathetic, if not a little protective? Xander groaned when he realized that he knew exactly what they were watching.

“You’re making us watch a Lifetime movie? I officially am disgusted.”

Spike glanced over, giving an half-hearted smirk. “You mean you weren’t before?” 

Something in Spike’s words caused Xander to quiet an immediate comeback. The sarcasm in the voice had almost, but not quite disguised the seriousness.

Whoa, why would Spike be serious about asking if I wasn’t disgusted before, Xander thought.

At last basic Xander brain functions kicked in, “Well, of course I was Spike. I just never knew there were further depths to such disgust.” Wearing a fake smile, Xander turned his attention to the movie, while keeping his head turned enough that Spike was in his peripheral vision.

The pair did not speak again, until the pizza arrived, was paid for with Xander’s money, and Xander held a slice not far from his mouth.

Spike appeared before Xander with several paper towels. Handing them to Xander he said, “Do not, and I repeat do not, get grease on my couch, Harris.”

Xander rolled his eyes. Taking the paper towels, his fingers brushed Spike’s. The grease blocked Xander’s full enjoyment of the touch, but it still carried a small amount of electricity, and not the static kind. An all too brief second later, and Spike had already returned to his armchair making himself comfortable again.

Xander inwardly sighed, and prepared to dig in.

After having scarfed down several extra cheesy slices of a pizza, Xander sneakily brushed his thumb along a cushion, causing a small but noticeable smear. Smiling he settled back. He was now full and could concentrate on the bug problem, with the wonderful background music that plays on every Lifetime movie.

The bugs, from what Spike had described were what Xander had determined as Garvinadeles, which were only found in the Iktorth dimension, and only as ingredient gatherers for major spells. If the bugs here were really Garvinadeles, then they had arrived via spell, and for what could only be some serious havoc wreaking.

Sighing Xander tried to remember what the non-insect beings of the Iktorth dimension were like. He had extensive knowledge of the bugs, but that came with the territory. Working for Pete’s Pest Control, which disposed insects of all dimensions, Xander had to know about which insects from which dimensions frequented Earth. Starting from the most populous to the Critrwans, which arrived once every three million years.

There were only 300,000 species which had feathers. And of those only 4,000 were able to stand on their hind legs. And of those, only 1 had red jeweled eyes. The Garvinadeles. And now thousands of them had taken up residence in Spike’s enchanted apartment.

Xander closed his eyes thinking of the few ways to send the bugs back to Iktorth. There were none that he knew of. Maybe he could try a portal? A shift in time? Make them watch Lifetime movies?

As Xander deliberated the possibilities, he quietly slipped into a slumber.

#####

“Xander?”

Xander opened his eyes. He wondered when he had fallen asleep. The last thing he remembered was the easiest way to send the bugs back to their home dimension; making them march into a gaping lion’s maw.

Stretching, he looked at his watch. It was after three A.M.

Yawning, Xander said, “Why’d you wake me up, Spike?”

Spike pointedly looked at him. “I don’t want you complaining in the morning that you have a stiff joints.”

Stiff joints, huh? Xander shuddered.

Spike continued speaking. “Besides, you’ll already be bitching and moaning about those bleedin bugs, and those blasted feathers. That’s the only thing those enchantments are good for, those feathers don’t last long.” Chuckling Spike went through a door and came out with a pillow and a blanket.

“So I’m sleeping…” Xander raised his eyebrows with the question.

“With me.” Spike smirked, and Xander’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

“What?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Idiot. You think I would wanna hear your bleedin snoring? The past hours have been hell on my sensitive hearing. ‘Sides, I wouldn’t want to sleep with you anyway.”

Xander slapped the side of his head. Nothing popped back into place, so no screws were loose. “Ookay, Spike.

Merry images of what “sleeping” with Spike would be like flitted through Xander‘s mind.

Fighting arousal with every thought of every disgusting bug ever, Xander stood, picking up the blanket and laying it across the couch. He knew he should  make some sort of comment. For instance how he was not thinking naked Spike thoughts. Xander shook his head.

“As long as you don’t return the favor of years past and tie me to a chair, I think I can handle not sleeping with you.” As soon as it left is mouth, Xander knew it was by far the worst thing he could say, as his pants were becoming tight.

Spike  looked at Xander with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Now there’s an idea.” With that, he lunged for Xander, dragging him to the armchair.

“Oof!” Xander found himself sitting in Spike’s armchair. “Spike, what the hell are you doing?”

Xander’s torso was now wrapped tight with rope. Where the hell did the rope come from? thought Xander.

“What I should have done long ago, pet.” Spike finished tying the ropes. He looked down at Xander, with a genuine smile.

The smile jolted Xander. A real smile? Now?

When Spike bent forward a little, Xander squeaked, “Spike? You’re scaring me.”

And with that Spike leaned forward…

And Xander snapped his eyes open. He looked up and saw the TV was still on, but Spike was nowhere in sight.

Being tied to the chair and almost kissed had been but a dream.



Part 5

Xander shifted on the couch. He looked at his watch, which read seven. His eyebrows raised. The sun should already be up, but it was nowhere to be seen. Then he remembered he was at Spike’s apartment.

Spike’s apartment.

With Spike nowhere in sight.

Stretching, Xander stood, and then quickly sat back down. Not wanting to chance more enchantment adventures, especially in the dimly lit room, he sighed.

Great, he thought. Do I sit here like a child and wait for Spike to hold my hand as I wander around, or do I go to the kitchen like 20-something ass kicker of bugs that I am? Turning his head, he saw the leftover pizza on the kitchen counter. He ran his fingers through his hair.

Gathering up what courage that was available, Xander stood and started for the kitchen counter.

Walk in a straight line, he thought. Walk in a straight line, not a by-line. Ooh.

Chuckling he took another step forward.

I can do this. I’ll be fine.

He was one step away from the pizza. Holding his breath, he took the last step.

He made it!

Nearly squealing with glee, he triumphantly picked up the pizza box, and turned to go back to the couch. Then he noticed Spike standing in the doorway.

He gasped. Not from being startled, but from Spike’s appearance. Spike was wearing black jeans, and a smile. In the dim light, every line from his muscles was highlighted. The smile made his face somehow softer. He looked beautiful.

“Uh…” Xander could not form thoughts, well, besides naughty ones, so at the moment, he definitely could not master the ability to form words.

Spike's smile widened. He started clapping. “You know, whelp, I honestly did not think you had the balls. I guess bein a bug man has suited you? Givin you that extra spark, eh?”

Xander remained in shock. Spike thought about his balls?

Spike’s smile wavered at Xander’s continued stillness. “Xander?” He straightened and frowned.

Xander blinked. He tore his eyes away from the god in front of him and back to his pizza. Right, food. Food. Concentrate Xander.

“Xander? Bloody hell, you’re not going to pass out again are you? Mate?” Spike took a step forward.

Xander finally regained speech. “Uh…No. Not going to pass out again, Spike. Need food. Brain isn’t turned on yet.” But another body part is, he added silently.

Xander made his way back to the couch and plopped down. He opened the pizza box and took out a slice. While biting into a large chunk, he looked up at the obviously still concerned Spike. “What?” Xander asked, although it came out more as, “Wrahn?”

Spike cocked his head to the side, then shrugged. “Well, don’t fill up your tummy too much. I don’t want to see feathers covered in Xander vomit this morning.” He went to the refrigerator and retrieved a packet of blood.

Xander had paused mid-bite. After such a revolting image, he was unsure if Xander vomit was indeed going to make an appearance.

“Thanks so much, Spike. And with that lovely imagery, I no longer have an appetite.” Well, an appetite that deals with food at any rate.

Spike chuckled as he sat in his chair.

Xander leaned back. Looking at the TV he saw an early morning infomercial and frowned. “Is that who I think it is?”

Spike looked carefully at the screen. “Bleedin hell! What the hell is he doing?”

Xander laughed. “Ron Jeremy. Doing infomercials early in the morning. Oh man, this is one of the greatest experiences in my life.”

Seeing Spike’s quirked eyebrow, Xander quickly added, “Uh…I mean. The excitement, childlike excitement that is, of his presence on TV far surpasses even your being here.”

Spike smirked.

Xander blushed when he realized how his words had sounded. “I meant that even though you’re here, it’s not causing me to lose the happy of Ron Jeremy selling stuff on TV. Ack! That’s not right either. I mean that it’s just really funny. The situation is really funny. Funny, not exciting. In any way! But funny in a….uh…there’s a porn star on television selling stuff way. What is it that he’s selling anyway?” Change of subject. Good thinking Xander.

Spike grinned. “Glad to know me and Ron Jeremy make you happy, pet.”

Xander looked stricken. He sputtered. “F-f-first off! Ron Jeremy does not make me h-happy. Secondly, Ron Jeremy selling products on an infomercial that kids will see before they go to school makes me happy in an amused kind of way. Thirdly, I didn’t say you made me happy either. I just said it was funny. I never said you gave me a happy. I mean! that you make me happy.” Xander forcefully put his head in his hands. He was so flustered, and Spike’s grin turned leer was not helping his mind clear.

Hearing Spike sigh, Xander risked lifting his eyes, and saw Spike watching the TV and sipping from his mug. Xander shook his head. Spike looked as if the entire conversation had not happened. Did it happen, Xander thought. He sighed.

Looking back toward the counter, he said, “So, Spike. You said the bugs would show up in the morning. What time exactly?”

“Well, should be half an hour or so from now. They’re usually on time, but sometimes they’re off by ten minutes.” Spike shrugged.

They continued to watch the television in silence. Xander stole glances at Spike’s shirtless frame. He imagined what it would be like to run his fingers over those rippling muscles, to tweak a taught nipple, to snake his tongue into every crevice…

“Uh, Xander?” Spike was looking at him with wide eyes.

Xander realized his mouth was hanging open and he probably looked like an intense fish.

“Yeah, Spike.” That’s right. He’ll pretend there was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing at all. He was just…ah…thinking about the bugs. Yeah, the bugs. “Nothing, Spike. Just thinking about the Garvinadeles and what would happen if you really pissed them off. You know, grotesque dismemberment type things.”

Spike did not look convinced, but he said, “All right. So, imagining me being dismembered by a bunch of bugs causes you to drool? Wanker.” Spike rolled his eyes and stood. “Right, well, speaking of the bugs, they should be here pretty soon. And they’ll be coming across the counter.” The last was spoken with malevolent glee.

Xander mocked Spike silently, and then took a deep breath. He headed toward the counter, careful not to stray from the path.

Xander closed his eyes as he put his arms on the counter. He rubbed his temples. Time to go into business mode. “Okay, Spike. How long does the line take to go by?”

“About 10 minutes.”

“And they just go to the sink right? Nowhere else?”

“Right. Until they come back, and I don’t know where they go then.”

Spike probably had not really bothered to follow them back, Xander thought. He snorted. “Okay then, so what I’m going to have to do is follow the line backwards, to find the source, so the problem can maybe get taken care of when they make their way back later.”

“Yeah. Sounds good.” Spike stretched. “Wait a minute. Doesn’t that mean you, whelp, will have to wander through unknown enchantments? Possibly reliving your dismemberment fantasy, but only over and over again in twists and turns. Oh, and there’s at least going to be an eye twitch. Ooh! I like this plan!” Spike was practically bouncing on his feet.

“Whatever.” Xander growled. “Ew. I already have the image of vomit covered feathers, I do not need limbs twisting in odd shapes and swirling colors to push me any further.” Xander gulped. His stomach was usually fairly strong, but because of the previous loss of bodily control the enchantments brought, he was feeling very queasy.

Just then a tiny movement caught his eye. It was the beginning of the Garvinadele line.

Forgetting his nausea, Xander leaned forward. The bugs were packed tightly together in line. Every other one was walking on their hind legs.

Spike muttered, “Bloody conga line…they should just do the damn bunny hop and get it over with.”

Xander quirked a slight grin. “At least they’re not doing the chicken dance.”

Spike snorted.

Xander straightened. “Okay, so here goes the tracking.”

Taking small steps forward, he followed the line as it curved back around the wall. His mouth dropped as he saw the line curve this way and  that around and up the wall. The line even zigzagged across the ceiling to the other side of the room. “Wow,” Xander whispered.

Spike, who now had a bored expression, said, “Yeah. Until you see that for over a month. Buggers.”

Xander watched as the feathers started to rain down. He snatched one out of its descent. The pattern was orange, red, and purple surrounded by brown. Xander thought back to the picture he had seen of a Garvinadele’s feather. It had been in black and white however, and was of no help. He remembered the colors remained the same for each feather from any Garvinadele, but like snowflakes, the patterns varied.

Well, that picture was pointless then,  he thought.

Seeing the trail led over to the doorway Spike had walked out of earlier, Xander chose the couch way to head towards it.

How Spike could not know the line stemmed from his bedroom, Xander would never know. Shaking his head, he began to feel a little pressure on his brain. Great, he thought. If the enchantments knock me down now, I’m never getting out of here. Although, I’d love to stay in close proximity to Spike, being dizzy or being confined to the space between the counter and the couch and a route to the bathroom would be a nightmare.

Sighing as he passed through the doorway, he looked for the line. It went behind Spike’s nightstand and then back up. Spike has a nightstand? With glasses, a lamp, and a book on it?

Chuckling, Xander saw the line snake back up from the nightstand to a point on the opposite wall. There the line just ended. Xander groaned.

“Stupid enchantments. Stupid bugs. Stupid mirage things,” he muttered.

He walked to the point, and upon arriving, fell, as his stomach heaved, eyes crossed, and a wave of dizziness jolted him.

He knew he was on the ground, but he could not see anything. His vision had blurred considerably. Then, cool arms were lifting him.

“Xander,” an urgent whisper from somewhere to his right. “Xander!” The voice was closer and the embrace tightened.

The dizziness dissipated slightly, and Xander could see Spike’s worried blue eyes inches from his face. Unintentionally fluttering his eyelids, he gasped out, “Whatever the bill was, it’s so going to be double now.”

Spike opened his mouth, perhaps to agree, then stopped.

Xander’s breath hitched as Spike continued to stare.

The moment was broken, however, when Spike decided to smile. “Daft git.” Pulling Xander to his feet, he maneuvered so that one arm was around Xander’s waist.

Xander leaned into the hard body beside him. He was less dizzy, and his stomach seemed calmer. Looking up, he saw the line was continuing to move out of the spot; only the spot was now a hole large enough for a head to have gone through. “What the…?” he began.

Looking up Spike saw the hole in the wall that was not there before. “Well, bollocks.”



Part 6

“Is that a hole in the wall? I mean because if it is, it‘s the hell mouth's version of an ACME hole in the wall. Just less tar-like.” Xander said staring wide-eyed. He was used to bugs coming out of holes in walls, but they were either colossally large like the Engren, which after hatching inside a wall, never left because of its size, or relatively tiny like the Barboodalks, which were often mistaken for cockroaches.

Xander realized his breath was coming in heavy gasps. This, of course, he contributed to having been knocked on his ass by magic; not at all from nearly molding his side into Spike’s cool body. With his arm firmly wrapped around the Spike’s hard shoulders, he was right where he had wanted to be for a long time. His breathing slowed, and he realized he felt comfortable. Well, relatively comfortable, at any rate.

“Of course, it’s a hole in the wall, git.” Spike rolled his eyes. “Wonder how it got there?” he murmured. Spike frowned as he thought it over. His eyes widened when he remembered what had happened. He swore softly. Maintaining his grip on Xander, he maneuvered them to the bed. Setting Xander down gently, he started pacing.

Xander shivered. Spike had set him on his ‘bed’. He had been very gentle also. Being handled gently in Spike’s bedroom was definitely high on Xander's giddy factor. He smothered a grin.

Looking at the stomping vampire in front of him, Xander realized that Spike was not going to be forthcoming without a little prompting, if not outright ordering. “Spike, you’re making me dizzier and you’re stirring up the feathers. Remember Xander vomit covered feathers? Entering this reality shortly if you don’t stop walking and twisting back and forth. Enlighten me as to what has got you so gung ho for the Brood Movement.”

Spike stopped in front of the hole. “I know how the hole got there,” his tone aggravated.  “It’s my bleedin' fault.” Spike resumed his pacing.

Xander refrained from rolling his eyes for fear they would take it upon themselves to continue to do so. “Whatever. Just stop pacing for God’s sake!“ Xander said annoyed. He ran his fingers through his hair, and then squeezed the bridge of his nose. “Well, Mr. I know how it got there, how did it get there?”

Spike looked stopped in front of Xander. “I did it.”

Xander frowned. “How?”

Spike grimaced. Then shrugging his shoulders he sat beside Xander on the bed, much to Xander’s delight, even as it added to his apprehension. Spike spoke, “Well, I was having a row with a Glokgog demon, back about month and a half ago, and I had its back up to that wall. I gave a great shove, because I’m William the Bloody and he was in my home and he was right pissing me off. His head hit the wall about where that hole is. Then swinging to punch his bloody head off, he ducked and my arm went through. I guess the wall’s weakened state caused it give a bit more. Anyway, it scratched me arm to almighty hell. So, uh, my blood was in and around the hole, and you said that only a spell could have brought the bugs here to this dimension, right?”

Xander merely nodded. He was fighting the urge to snicker at “blood was in and around the hole”.

“Well, that must’ve been what happened then. My blood must have activated a spell.” Spike pursed his lips, but his eyes betrayed his swelling pride.

Xander smiled. “Well, aren’t we cocky?”

Spike smirked. “Well, always knew I’d bring about tears in the fabric of the universe. Gives one a light sort of feeling.” Spike was grinning now.

Xander raised an eyebrow. “Okay. Whatever. I’m really glad you’re so happy that  you were the chosen one. Hey! What is it about not-quite-natural blondes and being the chosen ones? Don’t give me that look. Anyway, if it was your blood that was needed, that probably means any vamp or demon would do.” At Spike’s slight hurt look, he hurriedly added, “Not that you’re not special. And why I am reassuring you anyway?” Xander shook his head. “Must be the enchantments. So, I at least know I’m going to need a Hargen’s Detector, a screecher sampler, a Bumbitron, and maybe a ghastwheeler.”

As Xander continued to mumble about the technical side of debugging, Spike obviously tuned out. His attention, however, caught a small object, resembling a tiny wedge.

Leaving Xander, who was now using his right hand to count out something on his left hand, Spike picked the tiny object up. Just then, a single Garvinadele came scuttling out of the hole and straight towards Spike. Still examining the wedge, Spike stepped on the creature, releasing a noxious cloud of fumes from underneath his foot, which was still bare.

That stopped Xander mid-sentence. “Ew! Gods, that was not in the book! Nasty!” He was waving his arms frantically to drive away the smell. “Christ Spike! I thought you had killed one of those before and would know not to do it indoors, or preferably ever.”

Spike’s sensitive sense of smell was under attack. He dropped to his knees. The fumes were seeping in every orifice, despite no need to breathe, Spike felt the desperate urge to escape the wafting vapours. “Bloody hell,” he yelled as comprehension dawned. “Fucking garlic!” He ran from the room.

Xander sat stunned. Garlic? How could garlic make up part of the Garvinadele’s system? There was garlic in Iktorth?

He definitely needed better guidance on this, and Xander made the decision to go see Pete personally as soon as possible. After, of course, checking on the now whimpering vampire in the living room.

Spike was sitting in his chair with his legs crossed, grinding his teeth together. Xander could just make out Spike's smoldering and blistered foot.

“Spike? Are you going to be all right?” Xander put his hand on the slightly trembling shoulder.

Spike was staring straight ahead. “Sure, pet. I’m going to be fine. Just hurts like hell,” He paused, looked up at Xander. “That was not ordinary garlic, it was far more concentrated.” Looking again to the wall, he added in a firmer voice, “You know, if you were planning on killing them all by mashing ‘em, I’m going to need a new apartment.”

The last bit of humor filled Xander’s heart with proverbial warmth. “You won’t need a new apartment. Although, how you can live with the enchantments like they're a loose cupboard is beyond me, you give off the content and settled in vibe. So I don’t think we’ll be mashing many more Garvinadeles today or ever.” He looked back toward the bedroom. “Besides, I couldn’t stand that smell, and I may have stinky bugs in my everyday work, but sewage treatment plant guy I am not.”

Spike was now leaning back with a small smile on his face. Xander realized his hand was still on his shoulder, and quickly removed it. “So, uh, I’m going to go back to work now. Meet up at HQ, talk to the big man, and see what info he can give me about another form of death for those suckers. You sure you’re all right?”

Spike looked into Xander’s unsure eyes, and grinned. “I’m not dust. I’m fine. ‘Sides, I have to clean the damn feathers. Just shove them over in that corner, and poof, no more feathers. But I’m not getting the ones in the bedroom. That can bloody well wait.” With a firm nod, he stood and limped slightly to retrieve a broom from the corner "Oh, wait a minute." Spike fumbled for his pocket, where he had stashed the wedge he had found. "Don't know what this is, but maybe it's useful or something." Handing it to Xander, their fingers wrapped around each other's in tangles.

Xander was the first to yank his fingers back. "Uh, yeah. Maybe."

Xander briskly started for the main door. He had to get out of there. He glanced back over his shoulder. “I should be back in an hour or so. You said they’re gonna be back in a couple of hours, right?”

Spike nodded.

“Well, I’ll get back before then. Uh, bye.” And he was out the door. As he was closing it, however, his stomach sputtered when he heard Spike’s shaky, quiet, “L-later.” Smiling he walked down the hall and down the stairs to his truck.

Part 7

“Hey, Roger. Is Pete in?” Xander had reached Pete’s Pest Control in under fifteen minutes. He had not broken the speed limit, unless you count the numbers on the sign plus ten, breaking the speed limit.

Roger looked up from his papers. Xander frowned. Roger’s papers were normally green or blue, but today there were yellow and red. Shrugging his shoulders, he watched as Roger gazed steadily at him. When Roger looked back to his papers, his quiet voice seemed strained as he spoke, “He’s been expecting you, Harris. How did you find the Newland Hills situation?”

“Uh, well. That’s what I’m here to see Pete about. We have a Garvinadeles infestation, and I need to go over the ways of destroying them without releasing their reeking innards.”

Roger nodded. “Well, you can go right in. I’m sure Pete’s just as eager to get rid of any bug from Iktorth.”

As Xander headed into the office, he was struck dumb. Pete was standing, looking at a painting of the aesthetically pleasing Harvooncats; a bug from a parallel Earth’s north pole. Pete’s outfit, however, was what bewildered Xander. Pete normally dressed in suits, dark gray or navy blue, but today he was dressed in all yellow. A very bright yellow polka dotted shirt, chartreuse shorts, sepia socks with lace on the ends, and shoes that looked made out of a yellow rain slicker.

“Whoa, Pete. You look like an overgrown canary. What gives?”

Pete smiled warmly at Xander. His receding hairline moved with the muscles slightly. “Well, Xander, I thought I’d spruce it up a bit today. Doesn’t seem right to have such a nice day go by with my normal ensemble. And it’s definitely a first-class day.” Beaming, Pete went to his chair behind the desk. Light was seeping in from the blinds, causing Pete to look like an icon image.

“Yes, sir. It is most definitely a great day,” Xander replied, thinking of Spike’s apartment, and not a half hour ago, Spike’s bed.

“Now, Xander, I’ve told you how I feel about my employees calling me ‘sir’, and I’d love for you to keep that little speech in mind.” Pete said pointing a finger. At Xander’s nod, he continued speaking. “So what’s up with the Newland Hills apartment? What do we got?” Pete asked, clasping his hands in front of him.

“Well, Pete.” Xander put emphasis on ‘Pete’. “We have Garvinadeles. Apparently there is a hole in the wall that had some vamp blood spilled on it, which must have activated a spell to bring the Garvniadeles here. They march somewhere every morning and then march on back. Spike, the occupant, who is also the vampire in question, was not able,” more like willing, Xander amended silently, “to find where the trail was originating. His apartment is full of enchantments, causing mirages and also nausea, which I found out the hard way.” Xander grimaced. “Anyway, he found this today,” Xander handed the wedge to Pete. “And a Garvinadele apparently took offense and went running towards him. He stomped it, and a completely gross odor erupted from the carcass. Spike said it had garlic in it. That brings me to my questions. What are they doing here and how do we destroy them without buying nose plugs and/or killing Spike? Or is there a possible way to send them back to their home dimension?”

Pete placed the wedge beside an electric pencil sharpener. Looking up at Xander he said, “You seem more concerned than usual about this occupant. Is he a friend?”

“More like an old acquaintance.” Xander replied automatically. He had had to describe Spike several times, one of those times being when he had fallen asleep at his friend Martin’s apartment. He had mumbled about Spike while dreaming, and been given the third degree the next day. The question was, did he consider Spike a friend? Would he go that far in describing his relationship with the vampire? The hostility had obviously waned since they had last seen one another. And there was that look when Xander collapsed in the bedroom. Maybe they were at least between old acquaintances and friends now, and at best future snuggle and kiss and fuck buddies.

Xander shook his head, and looked down. His thoughts of his relationship with Spike made him fight a blush unsuccessfully. When he looked back up, he caught a fleeting glance of something unreadable flash in Pete’s eyes.

Pete turned his attention to the wedge. “You know this looks like a moncahpr. Those are used for conjuring spells, and they’re mighty handy if you’re in need of a bookend.” Pete looked thoughtful. Standing to stare out the window, Pete said, “You know, there hasn’t been a Garvinadele infestation since my great grand uncle, Gallnik’s time. And there was only one before then, you know.” Pete sighed. “How good ole Gallnik would love to witness such an event.” Pete sniffed then turned to Xander, who did not know how to react to Pete’s waxing nostalgic.

“So, what happened with that last infestation?” Xander was feeling very uneasy under Pete’s bleary gaze.

Pete sniffed and smiled. “Well, good golly if Uncle Gallnik didn’t take care of it. He used a reverse of the original spell that brought the buggies here. In this case, you said that vampire blood triggered the spell. Then, I would assume, that the previous occupant of the apartment either knew or would see to it that a vampire inhabit their slice of paradise, and manage to cause a Garv rise.” Pete pursed his lips. “Who did you say was living there again?”

Xander almost smiled. “Spike. Well, he also goes by William the Bloody.”

Pete’s eyes widened. “Well, a childe of that crazy girl. Oh, yes. Now I remember. Isn’t he the one that suffered from outrageous head pains if he tried to hurt humans? Tsk. Poor lad. I can see how frustration would build up though, and it would make him a perfect candidate to trigger that spell. Bound to get into a fight in his apartment, punch a hole through a wall, get his blood on it. Yep. That boy has rotten luck.”

Xander was taken aback. Someone had set Spike up? His Spike? He felt the urge to do some major butt kicking, be it bug or not. Bugs. The bugs would probably be going to wherever the individual who set up the spell would be. “Should we get a list of previous occupants? If we figure out who set up the spell, then maybe we can figure out where the bugs are going every morning.”

Pete beamed. “Very astute, Xander. See? I knew it was good day when we hired you. Do you remember that day? You were out stomping some Trewtsi’s, thinking they were large ants.” Pete laughed. “After seeing Lorinda use that spell on them, you demanded to know what was going on. Ever suspicious. Knew then that you’d be a great team member. Suspicious, but also efficient, or after you were trained you were efficient.” Pete’s smile left as he crossed to the painting of the Harvooncats. “Garvinadeles often bring about a bundle of malicious happenings, including all night jigs, which can really affect people who have an early morning. We need to nip this in the bud.” Pete crossed to the other side of the room, and reached into a silver vase. “This powder, along with a Bumbitron and a ghastwheeler, both set on medium high, should do the trick. It’ll get them gone and back to Iktorth. No longer will they be a nuisance here. But I wouldn’t recommend doing it until the sun sets, as you won’t want to be in the vicinity for a day or two, and sunlight doesn‘t mix with vampires very well.”

Xander took a sealed zip lock bag of the powder from Pete. His shoulders slumped forward, and he scrunched his nose. Spike was going to kill him. Garlic would be everywhere from the ghastwheeler, which twirled bugs every which way as it collected them. It would not be pretty, and the smell would be horrendous for Xander, and deadly for Spike.

“Don’t look so glum, Xander! Are you worried about that smell? Because you needn’t be.  It’s the feathers that are going to be everywhere.” Pete frowned. Bringing a finger to his lips, he said, “I would think they’d be about four feet high, since the Garv’s won’t be torn apart, merely spun to and fro, and so the feathers will keep growing. And that’s when you use the Bumbitron. Using the powder instead of the requerk oil to pour into the main chamber. Got it?”

Xander was relieved. The Bumbitron would be hooked up to the ghastwheeler and all Garvinadele’s garlic gas, after the initial zapping and flurry of feathers, would not be a threat. He smiled. “Yes, Pete. No problem. I’ll just stop by the shed to get those, and be on my way.”

“That a boy, Xander. Now, remember to not run the equipment until after the sun sets. The powder is never active when the sun is anywhere overhead.”

Nodding, Xander left the office.

Roger’s subdued, “Good luck,” caught him as he reached the front door. Roger never wished him luck. Turning back, Xander said, “Thanks, Roger.” Roger’s tight and obviously strained smile greeted him. Deciding that the sooner he left the building, the better, Xander walked out through the door toward the shed to gather the equipment. Trying to shake off his unease, he pictured Spike's eyes. Yes, he thought, those incredible eyes. Picking up his pace, he started to whistle. His whistling, however, was cut short when he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. As he was spiraling toward unconsciousness, he managed to mumble, "Not again."



Part 8

“L-later.”

Oh, this is bloody it! thought Spike, after Xander had shut the door. His stuttered farewell to Xander had made him sound like a complete nancy boy. He was utterly screwed whichever way Xander had taken the stutter. If he did not suspect his painfully obvious adoration, then Xander probably chalked the stumble to the pain of Spike’s foot.

Rolling his eyes, Spike continued sweeping the feathers into the far corner. He eyed the bedroom, and scoffing, entered. The real reason he wanted to avoid the room was that he could still catch Xander’s scent on the bed, even above the garlic that was still slightly wafting around.

Looking at the bed, Spike sighed. He set the broom against the wall and went to sit beside the now vacant spot where Xander had been sitting earlier; there the scent was strongest . He slowly lifted that part of the comforter. Bringing it to his nose, he was struck by how silly he was being. He was acting like a teenage girl with a crush. Smelling things that had touched his Xander. How he would love to be the one who was touching Xander. Ooh. Nice erotic thoughts as there’s a horrible pain-inducing smell…. Who am I kidding? Pain and skin. Xander’s skin. Ow! Bleedin chip. Wasn’t thinking of causing the boy pain. Shaking his head, Spike sniffed. 

The garlic was now a complete turn-off, so he decided to finish with the sweeping.

Before I continue my illicit affair with Xander’s scent to the accompaniment of garlic, he thought.

After the feathers were all gathered into the appropriate corner, Spike sat in his chair. Resting his aching foot on the tabletop, he switched on the television.

Oh God! He thought. Of course this infomercial would be on again. Ron Jeremy and his informercial now held special place in Spike’s undead heart. Sighing as he remembered Xander’s flustered talk this morning. The boy was really too adorable. No, not boy. Man. Spike mentally sighed.

Looking at the clock he saw only twenty minutes had passed since Xander’s departure. He had at least half an hour until Xander’s return. What to do… Spike looked down at his crotch. “Fancy a go?” At the sight of an answering lurch, Spike grinned.

Turning off the TV, Spike pondered the best place have a quick wank. If he asked himself honestly, he did not want Xander to walk in and see what he was doing. So I’m evil, he thought, doesn’t mean I want to give the idiot an opportunity to remember that he really is disgusted by me. Not when I want to shag his brains out, garlic obstruction or not.

Deciding the best place would be the bathroom, he almost started skipping towards it as he thought of what he was about to do. Been too bloody long since I had such a delectable, and perhaps attainable body to fantasize over, he thought.

When Spike got to the bathroom, he went straight for the shower. Fumbled with the knobs on the wall, he used his other hand to undo the buttons of his black jeans. With more of his attention on disrobing than on running the water, he managed to miscalculate the turn of the knob. A rush of scalding water slammed into his shoulder, and trailed down his chest to his crotch. Yelping, he backed away.

Realizing he could not beat the water into submission, he sneaked his fingers along the wall toward the knob. Wincing, he managed to turn the spray to a trickle.

Right, he thought, remember to turn the cold on first when your dangly bits are in bitter peril. Well, unless there’s company to impress, then you wouldn’t want cold water near ‘em. Bollocks! Wank! Now!

It took a few minutes but he was finally standing, naked, under a flow of water that was now the perfect temperature. His mouth transitioned from a grin to an O shape as his hand traversed down and across his now glistening chest to caress a nipple. Pinching the pebbled flesh, Spike let out a happy sigh.

He pictured Xander in front of him, all sepia skin and sloping, firm curves. His phantom Xander licked his lips, eyes wide with lust, and leaned forward to trail kisses down Spike’s neck. Warm lips along with white hot tongue snaked across Spike’s chiseled chest. Spike was in ecstasy from the slow licks and playful gnawing. He twisted his nipple harder when his mind’s eye saw Xander take the now aching node between his teeth.

Spike spread his legs wider as Xander moved forward, sliding a leg between them. Spike moved his hand to that would be space, grasping his hard member. Letting out a moan as he slowly thrust into his fingers. Xander’s stomach would be there, sliding against his now straining erection, creating just the right amount of gentle friction.

With his free hand, Spike was mimicking the faint touches Xander was giving him. Xander’s lips slowly licked, sucked, nuzzled his neck. Xander’s hands slowly circled up and down Spike’s back to the top of his buttocks. Xander’s torso pressed into Spike, melded into him, surrounded him with waves of heat.

“Oh, Xan. Just there - Ah!” Spike’s murmuring turned into a loud cry as ghostly fingers had moved down to squeeze his balls.

One of Spike’s hands tightened as it slowly stroked back and forth along his smooth shaft, while the other hand continued its caress of his sack. The phantom was now pressing his own erection into Spike’s hip. Spike shifted and whimpered as they both received relief as the pleasant friction brought the brink ever closer.

“God, Xander,” Spike moaned. Xander slid down his body, to kneel before his rigid cock. When the fiery tongue found his slit, Spike’s thumb duplicated the gesture. In, around, over, Spike was lost. With now frenzied strokes, his mind’s eye watched as Xander’s furnace of a mouth engulfed his dick. While Xander was swallowing and suctioning and humming a tuneless song, Spike was pushed into bliss.

Crying out his release, cold semen dripping to the shower floor, Spike slumped against the wall.

He considered the specter before him. Xander pouted while he was sitting back on his knees, erection prominent. Spike laughed.

“No, mate. Too bad you weren’t really here, then I could take care of that for you. Seeing as how I’m completely satiated , you are just going to have to bugger off.”

Grinning like a mad man, Spike whistled as he left the shower and began drying himself off. Putting on his jeans, he made his way back to the living room.

Feeling extremely satisfied Spike settled down to watch TV. After an hour, he caught himself looking at the clock every five minutes. As he switched his view from the TV to the clock, he realized he was already used to Xander’s presence, and in fact missed him. Determined to not think about it anymore, he managed to not look at the clock for a whole ten minutes.

Another hour passed, and signaling noon, the Garvinadele’s made their way back through, Spike began to really worry about Xander’s whereabouts. He was no longer relaxed, but instead a wiry body full of tight tension.

“Bloody ponce. He said under an hour, didn’t he? Well, it’s been a lot longer than an hour. God! He hates me more than I thought. Probably trying to get someone else to get rid of the bugs.” Spike continued his grumbling as he paced the living room.

Two hours later he came out of his state of bemusement. Neither Xander, nor Pete’s Pest Control had called. So Spike decided to call them. If Xander was trying to thrust him onto someone else, he had another thing coming. Spike shuddered. No, he thought. Not thinking of thrusting and coming in the same sentence. Especially when he could just imagine Xander’s face, at that moment of sweet ecstasy….

Shaking his head, steeling his nerve, he dialed Pete’s Pest Control.

“Pete’s Pest Control. Roger speaking.”

“Oi, Harris there?” Perfect pitch. Don’t sound too interested.

“I’m sorry, sir. Number four truck has not returned from a previous assignment.”

“Bloody hell! My apartment is the assignment, tosser! And he claimed to be heading back to gather the needed equipment. That was five hours ago. And unless your headquarters moves around the bleedin state of California, he should have returned by now.” Not wanting to sound like a complete pansy, forgetting to ask about the bugs, Spike added, “’Sides, the bugs are still here. And I’m not paying ‘til services are rendered!” he shouted the last. Tightly balling a fist, he heard Roger’s measured tone assuring him that the number four truck had not been checked in, so its whereabouts were unknown.

Growling with frustration, Spike slammed the receiver down. There were still three and a half hours until sunset. He had never been known for his patience, and his anxiety over Xander’s whereabouts fueled his need to thrash about.

The next three hours, Spike did things he never thought he would do for anyone. He looked up Pete’s Pest Control’s address, called surrounding business, called surrounding demons, and even called in a favor from a Goombort to try a tracking spell. All his actions were to no avail.

At last when the sun was about to set, Spike grabbed his duster, and headed for the door.



Part 9

Spike had his arm halfway through his duster when he heard a voice swear in the hallway. Another swear as something made a thump against the wall. The voice sounded familiar. He rushed out the door, to find Xander slumped over.

“Xander?” Spike could not hide the worry from his voice. He hesitantly put his hand on Xander’s shoulder.

Xander dazedly looked up. “You know I would’ve called. You know, to tell you where I was. But I didn’t have your number. And I wasn’t going to go back to the office, because I think Roger was the one who did this anyway. And I don’t have the equipment, and now I don’t know what to do about the Garv…Garvs. I really don’t like it when the world spins faster. And I’m not sure…” Xander swayed forward.

Spike wrapped both arms around the man, tugging him close. He carried Xander into the apartment. Gently setting him on the couch, Spike went to gather supplies for the nasty cut on the back of Xander’s head.

Allowing tiny growls to escape, he brought the supplies over to Xander.

“Why are you growling? You know that hurts my throat? I can’t growl. It just doesn’t work. And did you know….”

While Xander continued talking about his trachea and how vampires could growl “the proper way”, Spike prodded the gash in the back of the boy’s head. No wonder he’s off his rocker, Spike thought. The gash was at least three inches long, and at least a centimeter wide. Amazed the young man’s skull wasn’t cracked and still leaking, Spike set to work.

The realization hit Spike that the wound had been there since morning.  He now could no longer fight the growing volume of his growling. Thoughts of vengeance against whomever had hurt his Xander were consuming Spike. Even as he gently cleaned and patched the abrasion, he thought of ways to torture someone without setting the chip off. Indirect violence was just as good as direct violence, especially when it was the only option.

Shaking his head, knowing that he would accidentally directly partake in the violence going on in his head, Spike turned his thoughts completely to repairing the young man’s injury.

The smell of fresh blood hit Spike like a wave. He fought to control his game face. He had shifted the scab, and fresh blood had begun seeping out and had started flowing through Xander’s hair.

“…the manilla envelope. And Spike why are you whimpering? Where did the growling go? I didn’t know you could whimper. Growling I knew, but whimpering doesn’t seem like a Spike thing to do. Even if you were in a really good kiss or something, even then I don’t know if you could whimper. Why are you whimpering?”

Spike removed his fingers from the man’s hair as Xander turned to look at him with glazed, but questioning eyes.

Spike’s eyes flickered to the wound, which was blessedly scabbing over again, and back to Xander’s eyes. The image of having Xander in a really good kiss made a moan escape from his lips.

Xander’s eyes widened, and he looked down. “It must be bleeding again. You know you can taste it if you want. Free dessert and all. Although you licking or sucking on my head is not really something I’m capable of dealing with right now. I don’t like bleeding in vast amounts. Makes me too talkative. Isn’t there something healing about a vampire tongue or something? Is that something I’m making up just so that you can start licking me?”

Spike shivered. Xander was asking him, Spike, the hated vampire, to lick his head?

Spike’s mouth dropped as he thought about licking Xander’s head, but probably not the one the young man was talking about.

Spike sat down to collect himself. The images of a prone and begging Xander as Spike took the young man’s length into his mouth.

“Spike? Why are you sitting down? Oh God. I must be at Death’s door. I wonder if you need an invite? Or is that only for vampires? You know I don’t really get along with vampires. This one time…”

Xander’s ramblings were enough to snap Spike from his thoughts. To listen to the boy talk about his early days with Buffy, especially of Xander’s crush on the Slayer, were definitely enough to quiet Spike’s libido. He stood back up and finished tending the wound, willing himself to block the boy’s words from his ears.

Ten minutes later, Spike had a sizeable bandage firmly in place on Xander’s cut. Giving Xander a glass of water, Spike sat down in his chair.

Xander looked over at him with clearer eyes. “Thanks, Spike. I really appreciate the patching up.”

Spike nodded. “How did that happen? You say you think Roger did it?”

Xander’s eyes narrowed in thought. “Yeah. I had just left the office after meeting with Pete, and Roger was acting wiggy. I started out for the equipment shed, and then I get knocked out. And I was down for the count. I woke up in a parking lot about twenty minutes from here. There were no cars or anything, just those white lines that mark the spaces. Since I know the town like the back of my hand after all the bug runs, and I had full use of my body, it only took me two hours to get here.” Xander smiled weakly.

Spike leaned forward and put his hand on Xander’s knee. “It’s all gonna work out.” Spike displayed a little smile, but on the inside he was shrinking back in horror at his actions. This is NOT the way to act around humans, Spike thought. Even humans you want to shag and cuddle and lick and hold. Spike sighed. He, with Xander’s help, would get to the bottom of what was going on.


Part 10

A sleeping Xander turned his head to snuggle further into the pillow. Suddenly, shooting pain caused a rush back into consciousness, and he yelped, “Ow!”

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Xander sat up. The TV was turned off, so the only illumination was from a tiny green light on the DVD player.

Xander felt fairly relaxed, considering he was now involved in some unknown plot that was far more diabolical than he would have bargained for.

Of course, Spike would be the one with whom I’d have wild adventures, Xander thought. Dangerous and incapacitating adventures, but adventures nonetheless. Wish this adventure was more like a sexual romp and frolic, but so far, the only romping and frolicking taking place is in and around the Garvinadeles.

Why would someone knock Xander out, so he wouldn’t be able to obtain the debugging equipment? Xander sighed. He’d think about it more when Spike was up and about. It was always better to bounce ideas off your fellow fighters of the good fight.

Xander switched on the television and, finding a program he had not seen in awhile, flipped over to that station.

After the show ended, Xander carefully made his way to the bathroom. Experiencing no dizziness as he went about his business, he decided to brave the counter and possibly the kitchen, for breakfast.

When he made it back to the living room however, the lights were on and Spike was up and preparing a mug of blood.

“Morning.” Xander walked to the counter. Seeing that Spike had placed a stool in a relatively safe zone, he took a seat.

“How’re you feeling?” Spike leaned against the other side of the counter, sipping his blood.

“Oh, you know, ship shape. If you’re a ship that crashed onto a rocky shore.”

Spike nodded. “Well then,” Sip. “I’ve been thinking about our problem. If it really was Roger who hit you, then I think we should go to the office and snoop. You think you’ll be up for a mission impossible by tonight?”

Mission impossible? With Spike? Yes, please!

“As long as there are no self-destructing cell phones or computers, I think I’ll be okay.” Xander’s stomach rumbled.

Xander raised his eyebrows and looked at the refrigerator. “Anything in there that's edible for humans?”

Spike narrowed his eyes. “Promise you won’t spew it back up, then?”

Xander nodded enthusiastically. “Just think of my stomach as a bottomless pit with no way out.”

Turning to a cabinet over the sink, Spike mumbled, “Already do, you git.”

Handing Xander a bag full of fast food items, Spike wrinkled his nose and went back to his leaning position.

Xander tore into the hash browns and sausage biscuits. “Thanks, Spike. A little lukewarm, but tasty nonetheless.”

Spike nodded. His brow was furrowed in thought.

After finishing his meal, Xander noticed the Garvinadeles making their way along the counter.

With a sigh, he moved to the couch to get out of the way of the feather storm.

He felt guilty seeing the Garv’s again. It was up to him to get rid of the bugs with as little hassle as possible. What he had done instead, was drag Spike into a new evil and shiny plot.

Hey, Xander thought. I didn’t drag him with me. More like he dragged me! It’s his apartment, his problem.

“This is your fault you know,” Xander said.

Spike gave him a blank look, as he sat down in his chair. “My fault? That you got your head bashed in? I don’t think so. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s yours, for working in a place that deals with demonic forces every day. That’s just asking for it, you know.”

“Well, if you put it that way. No, you can’t put it that way. I didn’t ask to be knocked out yesterday. I sure as hell didn’t ask to wake up in some abandoned parking lot, wondering why someone, whoever it was, didn’t kill me. Do you honestly think I’d go out and actively get myself involved in some weird, demony plot?”

Spike quirked a scarred eyebrow.

“Well, these days, I wouldn’t. Unless there was a specific danger to someone who's close to me, and that's always been the case, thank you very much. Besides, I wasn’t just talking about the having my head bashed in. The whole Garvinadele thing. They’re gatherers. And whatever they’re gathering is one day closer to being fully gathered,” Xander said, dejection apparent.

The whole situation was frustrating for Xander. Not getting the job done, unconsciousness from enchantments and random blunt objects, and most of all, being a burden to Spike.

If there was one thing Xander had wanted to avoid on this planet, it was Spike. His feelings for the vampire always caused several clouds to form in his brain, and for once, Xander wanted to be able to think clearly.

Xander felt a tentative touch on his hand. He looked up at Spike, who was wearing an expression of sympathy, with a tad of unease.

“It’s not like you failed, Xander. You don't fool easily. And you did suspect something. You just didn’t expect to be knocked unconscious merely for doing your job.”

Xander half-smiled at these words. However, he was struck by who was saying them. “Why are you being so helpful? I just know I’m wearing a flashing ‘annoying houseguest’ sign.”

Spike removed his hand and sat back in his chair, not looking at the young man. Pursing his lips, he finally turned back to Xander. Appearing to come to a decision, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Xander’s.

Xander was prepared to discover that this was just a dream- a very late extension of that other oh-so-nice dream. He swallowed reflexively, causing his own lips to move slightly against the cool ones pressing into them.

Xander made a whimpering sound as he realized this was no dream.

Hearing the whimper, Spike moved away, but he kept his eyes on Xander’s dazed expression.

Xander’s mind was trying to catch up. It was still focused on Spike’s lips, and how the bottom lip had pressed just a tiny bit harder than the top lip.

He blinked.

Spike just kissed me, he thought. Spike, who I’ve lusted after for such a long time. Spike, who was a vampire. Spike, who just kissed me. Spike, who probably expects a reaction now, and me sitting still and not doing anything, is probably not a good idea.

Xander opened his mouth to speak, and found no words would emerge. He frowned, hoping to make sounds that could be interpreted as language, but all that came out was a slight whistling.

Seeing Spike’s eye twitch at the terrible sound, Xander felt a burst of nervous laughter escape.

“Uh, Spike,” Xander said, after the short explosion of sound. “I-”

Spike looked away. “It’s all right. You don’t have to say it. It was just a quick decision. You looked like you could use it. No harm, no foul. Won’t happen again and all that.”

Xander gaped. He swore that Spike looked dejected.

“Spike, that’s not what I was going to say. I’m not protesting. I just- I’m experiencing what we humans call shock. You took me by surprise. And what do you mean, it won’t happen again?” Xander’s voice rose.

With a rare look of vulnerability, Spike whispered, “You mean, you want it to happen again?”

Moment of truth, Xander thought. He, Xander- Exterminator and Defender of the Weak... well, not so weak in this case, but still…. He was about to give a yea or nay as to whether or not he wanted an unholy dead guy to kiss him. Again.

“Yes, Spike.” Xander bit his lip, waiting and wanting and desperate all at once. He knew that whatever Spike chose to do right now, his life would be forever changed.

Spike took an unneeded breath, and proceeded to capture Xander’s mouth in a fierce kiss.

Xander wanted to leap and shout for joy, but instead he chose to grin. However, the grin caused a lack of skin and lip touching, so he stopped grinning, and took Spike’s lips between his own.

Spike moved his hands to grasp Xander’s upper arms, while Xander laced his own fingers around Spike’s back, pulling them closer together.

Over the smacking and the breathy moans, the two spoke.

“Oh, God. I’ve wanted this- you, for so long.”

“Me too. Long time.”

“This isn’t a dream is it? Because waking up would so bite.”

Soft chuckle. “Only thing that bites here is me, mate.”

Nips at a jaw line. “So not funny. Cracking, mmph, jokes at a time like this.”

“What do you expect? I’ve got to... taste so good... to get some dignity back. After that, oooh-”

Spike’s words were cut off when Xander’s hands went wandering underneath his shirt. Xander wanted more skin NOW.

Spike had moved to the couch a few minutes before, when Xander’s tongue had begun trying to sneak inside his mouth.

Xander knew that Spike was teasing him by the no tongue action, and it was driving him crazy. The kissing itself felt wonderful, but it would feel even more wonderful if he could get his tongue inside that wet mouth.

After he had worked his hands around sculpted abs and up to two taut nipples, Spike’s moan allowed Xander’s tongue the entry it had been seeking.

Exploring every dip and ridge inside of Spike’s cool mouth, Xander was filled with glee. Nervousness was left far behind, as they continued to deepen the kiss.

All good things must come to an end, however, especially if your name is Spike or Xander.

Spike’s hand wandered to the back of Xander’s head, weaving through the soft, brown hair. The wandering hand slid over Xander’s healing wound, causing the young man to break the kiss, jerking his head away. Instead of jerking to the side and out of danger, Xander’s head moved backward. Even Spike’s vampire reflexes were not enough to stop the offending hand from pushing onto the wound painfully.

Xander grimaced and closed his eyes. On opening them, he was surprised to see a concerned expression on Spike’s face.

Thinking he should lighten the mood, Xander said, “You inconsiderate brute.”

Spike started to frown, but seeing the sparkle in Xander’s eyes, he chose to roll his eyes. “You bitch.”

Both smiling again, Spike shook his head and said, “Turn around,” Spike sniffed. “Need to see how much of the scab broke off. I can smell fresh blood.”

“That’s such a mood-killer. And ew,” Xander faced away from Spike.

Feeling Spike’s fingers gently prodding the area around the injury, Xander swallowed. Damn, he thought. Magic fingers perk a mood right up. Oh man! Perk up! I’m such an idiot! Why did I think that?

“Well, it’s nothing serious. Not even a thimbleful.”

“Geez, thank you, Spike. Could you possibly leave it alone then?”

Xander shifted nervously, as Spike’s fingers kneaded lower. The massage continued across his neck, moving to his shoulders.

“How’s that instead, pet?” Spike murmured into his ear.

Xander leaned into the strong body at his back. Sighing, he was about to close his eyes, when he noticed something.

“Uh, Spike? Your bedroom is glowing.”


TBC...