Title: That’s a Switch!
Author: Bonster
Email: angelxanderforever@hotmail.com
Feedback: definitely, please!
Website: http://www.lemonyodaspam.com
Archive: on my site, the lists it’s posted to, and anywhere else, just let me know. I like knowing where these boys play.
Pairings: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG-13 so far
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. They belong to Joss "God" Whedon. Oh and ME, Kuzui, Fox, etc.
Spoilers: Up to early season 5. After The Replacement it goes AU. Oh and a sort of one from season 7 (ep Him).
Summary: Xander gets hit with an unfinished spell, and his gender is switched. And switched. Oh, and switched again. Switched, switched, switched.
Note: I know the gender switch thing has been done a gazillion times, but dang, this bunny bit me HARD. I have bruises to prove it. I blame this whole thing on plot bunnies from 7734, Kiara (who, by the way, ROCKS), and Willow’s casting abilities.




Willow was trying yet another spell to de-rat Amy, and had just gotten started when a breathless Xander burst through the door, gasping out, “Willow! You’re not going to -”

Small, swirling globes of light sped toward Xander. His eyes widened as the lights entered his skin and disappeared. Looking down at his suddenly thinner, more delicate fingers, Xander released a high-pitched scream, and fainted.

#####

When Xander awoke, he was on Giles’ couch. He’d been there way too many times in exactly this position - disoriented and lying on his back.

Groaning, he raised up on his elbows to see if anyone was around to get him some headache medicine… A.S.A.P.

What he saw, though, was Spike. Spike looking at him with blatant hilarity.

“What the hell are you grinning at, you de-fanged, uh, thing?” Xander cleared his throat - his voice sounded odd, a little too high.

Spike started snickering, which built until the release of gales of laughter. “You… You…” Doubled over now, tears falling from his eyes, Spike couldn’t form words.

Frowning, Xander sat up fully and looked around. The entire gang was sitting around him, except Anya, who rushed to his side and sat beside him.

“It’s all right, Xander. If you’re feeling slightly nauseated and slightly,” Anya puffed her cheeks as she made a large circle with her arms, “bloated, well, I would say that you would be experiencing PMS. I know that that was the first thing I experienced after I lost my power center. Well, besides the whole mortal coil thing.” She smiled, and gave his arm a comforting squeeze.

“Huh?” Xander looked from face to face, finally coming full circle, to see Spike sitting on the end of the couch, snickering.

Thinking to check his head for new bumps, his hand was stopped midway by an obstruction on his chest.

Nearly frozen with fear, he felt around the protruding fleshy mounds.  Gasping with utter horror, he looked down and saw that he now had man-boobs. Nicely shaped and supple, but still, M.A.N.-.B.O.O.B.S.

Raising questioning eyes to the gang, he caught and held Willow’s eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was, “You… Spell… Girl….”

Tara patted her girlfriend’s shoulder with an understanding look. Glancing at Xander, she said, “Y-you interrupted a spell. Um, she was trying a new spell calling upon Hecate t-to, uh, de-rat Amy. She’d started the spell a little, um, wrong. Because you interrupted when it was only half-done, you got hit by a completely different spell, that -” Tara paused.

“Makes you a girl now, Harris,” Spike said, with obvious glee.

Xander’s eyes widened even more, with such horror that one was under the impression that he’d been hit by a spell and turned into a female.

Whimpering, he ran to the bathroom, holding onto his pants, which kept slipping further down as his hips swayed. He reached the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Holding his breath, he let the pants drop to see if it was…

…it was - it was gone!

Sliding down to a sitting position in front of the door, Xander stared blankly ahead. He was a girl?! A female?! A member of the fairer sex?!

The only reason he had burst into Willow’s room, was to tell her that the new television station would be airing reruns of Doogie Howser, M.D. That was all. Nothing life threatening. Nothing that in any way called for the universe to punish him like this.

Well, not that being a female was a punishment by any means. It’s just that, when one is used to being one gender for one’s entire life, to suddenly not be said gender anymore, is just plain mean.

Remembering the mirror above the sink, Xander felt curiosity stirring inside him. Keeping his head down, he stood and walked over to it. He took several deep breaths before looking up.

His face was somehow softer, yet more defined and slightly elongated; top lip a little more full; nose slightly thinner; a smooth slope where his Adam’s apple used to be; eyebrows slightly smaller, but still heavy. All in all, he decided, not bad.

Hearing a slight tap at the door, and Giles’ voice asking if he was all right, Xander sighed. The older man’s voice had always had a calming effect. Hauling his pants up, he unlocked and opened the door.

Returning to the living room, he made a beeline to the couch, he looked at Anya, who flashed a bright smile his way.

“You know, Xander, now that you’re a woman, I will miss your penis, but there’re many things we can try. Are you ready to go home?”

Spike snorted. Buffy, Riley, Willow, Tara, and Giles all gaped at the ex-demon.

Seeing everyone’s mouths open and faced her, Anya frowned slightly, and said, “What?”

Xander groaned, although it sounded more like a whine. He sat on the couch, with his hands in his hair, which was thankfully the same, or at least felt the same.

“Xander? What is it? Don’t you want to see what your new body can do? I know that once I got used to my own human body, that’s what I did. Oh. Is that what this is? You’re getting used to it?”

Looking up into her questioning eyes, he smiled slightly. “Yeah, Ahn. Getting used to it.”

His voice had come out smooth as silk. Not a bad voice, he thought. Just not mine.

“Xander, Willow and Tara have found a spell to counteract the one that hit you,” Giles said. “However, there are certain ingredients needed that will take several weeks to get here. Until then…” Giles started wiping his glasses.

Spike laughed. Again. “You mean he’s stuck as a girl for a month or more? You Scoobies. Good thing I ran into the Slayer and her boy there carrying him, well, her. Wouldn’t want to miss any of the show.” Spike rubbed his hands together.

Xander looked at the floor while various conversations began to take place around him. The ever-constant Anya was still there by his side, and kept asking if he was all right.

Of course he wasn’t all right. Huge, life-altering experiences were unsettling, whether good or bad. He was most definitely not labeling his gender-switch in the good column.

He felt a new hand on his other side and looked up to find Buffy giving him a sympathetic smile.

“A lot to take in, huh?”

He nodded. He felt the urge to cry. Sure, he’d had the urge before, but he didn’t have estrogen or a uterus then. Closing his eyes, he leaned back into the couch, while the rest of the gang discussed the situation.

Listening to the soft sounds of voices,  Spike’s interspersed snickers, Xander drifted asleep.

#####

Xander awoke to a rough hand shaking him awake.

“Wha?” Raising his hand to his head, he found no obstructions blocking his way.

He saw Riley looking down at him with a giant grin.

“Looks like the spell wore off buddy. You’re a man again.”

“Really?” My voice! he thought. That’s ‘my’ voice!

Running to the bathroom for the second time that evening, he looked into the mirror. The softness and the angles were gone - leaving him with his own face peering back at him.

Letting out a whoop, he ran back to the living room, picked up Anya, twirled her around, and heartily kissed her.

Not seeing in her a mirror to his enthusiasm, he put her down and asked what was wrong.

She frowned, looking down for a second, before raising her eyes back to his. “I was very much looking forward to playing, Xander. Now we won’t get to.” A small pout graced her lips.

“Ahn, honey.” Leaning in slightly, he whispered, “We can still play. Believe me.”

Smiling slightly, she said, “I know, but…it would have been more fun, Xander.”

He frowned. “Ahn, I think we should talk about this later. Let’s go home, okay?”

“Xander?” Willow was beside him with happy tears shining in her eyes. “I’m really sorry. A-and I’ll be over tomorrow with a lot of cookies.”

Xander’s expression turned appraising. “Are they going to be the kind with the liquid chocolate in the center?”

Willow relaxed with relief and replied that they would be full to bursting with liquid chocolate.

After saying good bye to everyone, including Spike, who had mumbled something about his entertainment being taken away, Xander and Anya went home to celebrate Xander’s return to manhood in a more ‘playful’ atmosphere.

####

A few hours later…

Xander was sleeping peacefully, exhausted from his and Anya’s exertions. As he turned over, the curves, the estrogen, and the breasts all reappeared. Xander shifted with a soft, high-pitched grumble.

Anya remained asleep, but sensing movement, snuggled in closer, and in her dream-state was far happier than she had been in a very long time.

#####

Just ten minutes before Xander had to wake up for work, his body reverted back to its male form, neither Xander nor Anya the wiser.


Part 2

Just an hour until lunch, Xander was in the middle of swinging a hammer, when he was overcome with nausea. The hammer crashed down on his thumb. He yelled, “Dammit!”

Immediately raising his hand to his to his mouth, aghast at how the curse had sounded. His voice had been a different pitch - just like it had been last night.

Whimpering, he looked down at his chest, where the soft mounds were back. Stunned, he almost didn’t notice as his jeans started slipping down from the weight of the tool belt.

Making incoherent apologies to the crewmen around, he started running toward his car. He had to get to Giles’ now.

#####

“Why is it back? What is happening to me? Hyenas, Dracula, Toth. Now this?!”

Seeing nothing but a group of helpless faces gazing at him, Xander sighed. He had been doing a lot of sighing since he had arrived at Giles'.

When Willow and Tara had arrived, the spell talk started, and Xander could only glance from one to the other, as his brain tried to process the language they were speaking.

Then Buffy, Riley and Dawn arrived - with clothes.

His waist may have been smaller, but his hips were almost the same. ‘Birthing hips’ Dawn had pointed out, much to Xander’s chagrin.

Now he was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt that belonged to Joyce. Buffy had brought them over with her when she had found out about the regression.

“I-I’m not sure. I thought that the original spell was permanent, and that interrupting it caused it to wear off after a certain amount of time,” Willow looked helpless. She added a soft, “I guess.”

“You guess?! Willow! I can’t just turn into a girl depending on which way the wind blows!”

Her brow furrowed, “Well, I don’t think it really has to do with the wind…” Seeing Xander’s glare, she stopped talking and started flicking through the book on her lap. Lifting her eyes to Xander as he fumed back and forth across the room, Willow said, “We’ll find out how to fix this, Xander. I promise.”

Stopping his pacing, he nodded and sat at the table, grabbing a book and leafing through it. Might as well do something productive, he thought.

#####

The next hours were hellish, to say the least. Xander thought he could just put the book on the table and hover over it, but his new chest kept getting pinched between him and the table or settling at odd angles, causing Xander to try and subtly push them together and up.

I need a bra, he thought. And I never, EVER want to think that again.

Stretching, he flexed his muscles. Although feminine, he was still fairly well… built. His arms were neither on the bulky side nor the waif side.

The curve of his wrist was captivating in its own right. An alien quality along with a certain smoothness just… was really cool. Add to that the fact that it was his own body - well, Xander was fascinated, but mostly in a “Oh gods, I can’t look away” way. 

He just wanted his own body back. No more switching. He wanted to go on patrols with Buffy and the gang, meet nice vampires that were readily available for slayage, to have his penis back… the everyday things.

Things that didn't involve accidentally walking in on a best friend who didn’t think to lock their door while performing an intricate spell, and getting blasted by said spell.

Xander sighed. Wondering if he was permanently female this time, Xander could only zone out and hope he was male again soon. He needed to pee, and doing it like a girl would just be too weird.

#####

By mid-afternoon, Xander was indeed male again. It had been six hours. At least it’s not every hour, the thought causing him to shudder as he raced to the bathroom to relieve his bladder.

Thankful to be in his own skin, at least for the time-being, he reemerged from the bathroom, calm enough to give another try at digesting what he had been reading. Looking it over, it still made no sense, but he felt better knowing he was at least attempting to figure things out.

All good things come to an end, however.

Anya arrived a couple of hours later. She was talking very animatedly about what she had done during the day, and no one was allowed a word in edgewise. Finally, slightly irritated, she asked why everyone was so quiet. She knew there was some sort of meeting because Xander hadn’t been at home, and if it was another apocalypse, boy, was she tired of those.

After Buffy informed her of her boyfriend’s condition, she promptly went to his side and said, “We’re going to have so much fun! You can really be able to see how a woman lives a-and feels! This is a great opportunity here. I mean, in my vengeance days, I turned a few men into women, because after all they deserved it. But no one like you,” Anya reached up to pinch his cheek. “You get to experience both worlds. It’s not a punishment, it’s a reward!” Nodding to herself, she pulled Xander down for a kiss.

He barely felt her soft lips that usually gave him such a thrill.

Automatically smiling and squeezing Anya’s hand, Xander sat back down. He was determined to tune out Anya’s excited statements and to read more about longwort root, which apparently had something to do with the temporary effects of spells.

Why was she so enthusiastic? Was he boring her before, when he was just a man? Why did his being a woman half the time appeal to her so much?

“Whoa, there. No brooding,” Riley said, smiling slightly. He and Buffy were picking through the snacks.

“I wasn’t…” Yes, he was. “Well, you know, it’s not everyday, that every six hours or so, you turn into a girl.”

Riley’s smile turned a shade awkward.

Xander quickly went back to the longwort, while Anya was now whispering the things they could try.

#####

An hour went by, before Xander finally broke.

“Anya!” he snapped.

Frowning and sitting back, she blinked several times before asking, “What?”

“My body as a completely different body is not something to play with. I don’t want to play with it. I want it to go away. So, can you please drop the subject?” Xander said, a little louder than he had intended, at last letting his irritation seep out.

“Why are you yelling at me? I was just suggesting things. I mean, we don’t ‘have’ to use the bananas if you don’t want.”

Glad not to have heard exactly what they would have tried with bananas, plural, he said, “Ahn, listen. I don’t want to try anything at all with the new body, okay? I want to concentrate on making me a permanent male, not some kind of weird version of a hermaphrodite.”

Expression turning huffy, Anya replied, “Well, I just think that it would be fun -”

“Ahn!” Xander pleaded. “Just drop it.”

Pursing her lips, Anya stood and gathered her things. “You know, whatever your issue is, Xander, you need to get over it. I’m going home now. Please come there, when you think you can talk civilly. I don’t like when you are so short with me.”

Sighing, Xander watched Anya leave. He was sure the way her skirt was twirling was some portent of some horrible doom.

#####

Xander popped the crick in his neck. He had been reading for so long that he had missed when night had fallen. If the six-hour rule applied, then he would be in female form any second. That did not bode well for the walk home. He already had his share of fumbles with the body he was used to - how was he not going to make some odd and fatal mistake in a entirely different one? With the Toth thing, at least he had had the same body, maybe not the same coordination in one of them, but the same general Xander-shapedness.

Shaking his head, he watched as Buffy and Riley left to take Dawn home and go out for a quick patrol. Willow and Tara took a break to go back to their room and feed Miss Kitty, but Xander knew they were going to relieve their stress in a more ‘pleasurable and private’ way.

He was left alone with Giles, who was on the phone with an old friend discussing the merits of allowing mortar and pestle in children’s classrooms.

Feeling the tell-tale nausea, Xander braced himself against the table. Sighing, he looked down at his again plump chest.

His attention was drawn to the door as Spike came bouncing in.

Xander groaned, as he slammed his head onto his arms. A visit with Spike was the absolute last thing he needed.

When the multiple number of barbs weren't issued right away by the vampire, Xander looked up and didn’t see Spike anywhere.

Oh, great, he thought. Now, I’m going crazy on top of everything else. He studied his hands, as he had done most of the day - it seemed to have a calming effect. Hearing a ding from the microwave in the small kitchen, Xander turned his head to see Spike carrying a mug and coming to sit beside him.

“What are you doing here?” Xander snapped, although his female-voice made it sound slightly sultry.

Spike’s eyes flared with amusement, as he sipped his warmed blood. “Well, mate, I thought I’d get a good look at the Amazing Gender-defying Slayerette.”

Xander snorted. “Well, there’s nothing amazing here. So, why don’t you just leave, thereby leaving the definitely non-amazing one alone.”

“Tsk, tsk. Can’t an evil bloke have a good laugh at the expense of a boy who’s now a girl? And quite a looker too? Oh, I think he can.” Chuckling, Spike leaned toward Xander, openly leering.

With a disgusted, “You perv!” Xander shot out of his seat and yelled for Giles.

Giles came bounding out down the stairs. “Good lord! What is it?”

“Spike’s… Spike’s…” Shuddering, Xander swallowed and took a deep breath. “Spike was checking me out.”

Seeing Giles’ eyes narrow, while moving into a slight defensive stance, Spike stood, raising his hands in a placating gesture. “Now, now, Watcher. Didn’t mean anything by it. Just trying to ruffle the girl’s -well, the boy’s - feathers.”

With an exasperated sigh, Giles took his glasses off and started cleaning. “Spike, what on earth are you doing here? Xander is under enough strain without you contributing any inappropriate lascivious looks.”

“I was on my way over to get some blood, when I ran into the ex-demon. She was on a tirade, I tell you. And ‘what’ was that thing about the bananas?” Spike looked pointedly at Xander, who blushed and looked away.

Shaking his head, Spike said, “Anyway, found out about Alexandra here, and decided to get another peak, since it was so damn funny the last time." Nodding and looking Xander up and down, he said, "And I can positively say, it’s just as bloody funny this time, too.”

Xander collapsed onto the couch and let out a despairing sigh. It would have qualified as a full Scarlett O’Hara sigh, if he had been wearing petticoats.

Tuning out the lecture Spike was receiving from Giles about giving ample warning any time that he was going to be stopping by, Xander closed his eyes. He had about five more hours until he would be in male form again. Nothing to do but wait he guessed.



Part 3


Xander didn’t have a very long wait, apparently. Half an hour after Giles pointed out how just idiotic and immature Spike was acting, Willow and Tara came back, excited that they had followed up on Xander’s research of the longwort root. They had determined that it was indeed the cause of the six-hour switching.

“It’s a good thing I didn’t get to use the spell on Amy after all!” Willow said, flashing a smile at the room.

Tara frowned slightly, but nodded encouragingly, while Giles raised his eyebrows.

Xander wore a pained smile and tried to sink further into the couch.

He felt a hand patting his head. Thinking it was Willow, he looked up with a rejuvenated smile - to see Spike’s amused expression.

His smile making a hasty retreat, Xander snapped, “What?”

“Good thing you were the one who got hit with the spell then, innit?” Sparkling blue eyes were gauging his reaction.

Spike was the one who had caught that? Spike?! Spike had caught the slight hint that it was only Xander, so therefore no big deal. Spike?

Clenching his jaw to fight the tears that were threatening to flow, Xander looked straight ahead.

Giles gave Spike a warning look. Spike had the decency to look a little wary, as he moved to sit on the end of the couch.

“To reverse the effects of the longwort, we’ll need to use Ronentort.  It’s available only on special order, so it will take some time to procure it, I’m afraid,” Giles took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Um, exactly which way will it reverse the effects? The six-hour thing or the whole gender thing?” Xander was only moderately comforted that Giles sounded as if he knew what to do - because, after all, Willow would undoubtedly be the one performing the spell.

Turning to Willow, Giles beckoned for her to elaborate.

“Well, i-it’s supposed to keep you in the gender that you’re in when we perform the spell,” Willow looked to Tara, who agreed.

“One thing,” Xander said. “Supposed to?”

Willow rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean, silly. Barring an onrush of interrupting Xanders, it should work.”

Smiling with relief at the prospect of soon-to-be restored maleness, Xander stood. He started making his goodbyes, wanting to get back to his apartment to tell Anya the news. To go home, have a beer, and relax until his female hours were up. Then he planned on doing what any male would do - have celebratory sex with his girlfriend. They may have done that yesterday, but this was different. Being a full-time male was on the horizon!

“Whoa, you’re not just going to walk home like that, are you?” Willow’s brow was furrowed in worry.

Xander raised an eyebrow. “Why not?” Realization dawned as he crossed his arms against the two cushions on his chest, he whispered an embarrassed, “Oh.”

Nodding, but grinning, Willow grabbed her and Tara’s coats. “We’ll walk you home.”

As they were leaving, Willow held the door open for Xander, with an impish grin.

Shaking his head, Xander said, “Geez, Wills. I think you’re enjoying this too much.”

Willow was holding Tara’s hand and looked away, as they started their walk.

Rolling his eyes, Xander strolled after them.

They had walked about a block, when he noticed the vampire with a shock of bleached hair, wearing a very smelly leather duster, walking beside him.

Glancing at Spike, Xander realized that besides being slightly smaller all around, except for his damned hips, the feminine version of his body was also shorter. He was now at least an inch shorter than the blonde.

Sighing, Xander continued walking. If Spike wanted to start something, let him go first - Xander was tired.

Tara frowned, looking back. “Spike?”

“Yeah?” Spike said, lighting a cigarette.

“Um, why are you here? With us? With the us you, um, don’t like?”

Spike snorted. “Can’t a master vampire walk where he pleases, without answering to his former food?”

Xander punched Spike’s arm. After hearing a satisfactorily loud, “Oi, that hurt!”, Xander nursed his now sore knuckles. As a female, his fingers weren’t hardened by his construction job. At least he hoped that was the reason his hand hurt so much from hitting Spike. If it was because of disintegrating flesh, he’d rather not know.

Sharing a questioning look, Tara and Willow kept walking. Xander shot a glare at Spike, as the vampire rubbed his shoulder.

“As if that hurt, sissy-vamp,” Xander mocked.

“Oh, right. I’m the sissy? You’re being walked home because you’re such a manly-man,” Spike inhaled, causing the cigarette’s tip to glow momentarily.

That small light was the last thing Xander saw, before he was picked up from behind and thrown into some bushes, landing with a thud, futilely using his right arm to brace himself. Pain shot from his wrist to his shoulder.

Hearing the sounds of the fight around him, Xander sat up. He tested raising his arm, and luckily found it to be most-likely jammed and definitely not broken.

Standing, he saw Willow chanting and Tara holding a stake, circling a vampire, probably a fledge.

Xander was surprised to see Spike straddling a vampire, laying on the punches.

“…Just,” Punch. “…Bloody,” Punch. “Rude!” Spike ripped its head off, and sat back in a cloud of dust.

Seeing Tara drive the stake through the other vampire’s chest, Xander let out a sigh of relief.

Cradling his arm slightly, he walked toward the others.

“So, this is got to be a new record. Here we are, two blocks from Giles’, and we’re attacked by two fun-lovin’ vamps -”

“Three vamps,” Willow interrupted. “Spike got two of them, not just one.”

Grimacing, Xander continued, “Three vamps, check. Okay, since this fact sucks - a lot - and my arm is killing me, can we treat this not as a leisurely stroll, but more like, you know, walking at a brisk pace, or even a run like hell for cover?” Realizing he was getting himself extremely worked up, Xander closed his eyes and tried to calm down.

He had just been thrown aside by some random, probably weak, vampire - not even a hint of fang had grazed his neck. Nope, the vampire had obviously gone for more precious meat. For some horrible and possibly hormonal reason, this was sending Xander into near hysterics. He even felt tears filling his eyes. Angrily, he wiped them away with his good arm.

Trying to find a more comfortable position for his sore arm, he felt a tentative touch on his good side. Looking up slightly up to see Spike’s partially narrowed eyes, Xander quietly whispered a heated, “What?”

Spike’s expression turned teasing. Patting Xander’s shoulder, he said, “There, there. We’ll protect you.”

Laughing, Xander rolled his eyes, and said, “Thanks, Spike.” Turning to see a slightly worried Willow and a shyly grinning Tara, he waved them forward. “Let’s go, ladies. Fearless are those who travel by the light of the stars, or in our case, street lamps.”

#####

At last, having arrived at the apartment, Xander unlocked the door and stepped inside, where he was greeted by an irate Anya, who was standing with her arms crossed and her hair in curlers, which looked as if they were about to launch themselves off at deadly angles.

Giving Willow, Tara and Spike a look that he hoped conveyed, “Thanks for walking me home, but I have to deal with the mean woman now,” Xander watched, as Willow nodded and gave a parting wave.

Closing the door, Xander took a deep breath and turned around.

“Where have you been, Xander? I was worried. First, the way you acted at Giles’. Then you didn’t follow me when I left. Then you don’t even come home until,” she glanced at the wall clock. “Nearly midnight? You could have been home this whole time and we could have been,” she made a gesture.

Sighing, Xander said, “I know, Ahn. I’m sorry.” Walking forward, he rubbed one of her shoulders. “It’s a good thing I stayed, though. That longwort? Well, it was the key ingredient that made the spell act all temporary. They’re ordering this other thing, and in about a month, I’ll be back to full-time man-status.” Xander smiled, silently pleading for her to understand that this was a good thing.

Looking thoughtful, Anya tilted her head. “Well, all right. But you should call next time.” She reached forward to hug him, but he jerked back.

Seeing Anya’s hurt expression, Xander quickly told her about the fight and what had happened to his arm.

“You should have that looked at Xander. Oh! You can use my sling in the meantime.” Smiling brightly, Anya went rummaging in the bedroom closet for said sling.

Plopping down on the couch, Xander turned on the television. He was tired, and an Anya, who was bouncing all over the emotional plain, was not what he really wanted to deal with. One minute she was angry - the next she was happy.  One minute she was helpful - the next she was meddling and tiresome.

He loved being surprised by her actions and reactions, and he experienced that surprise often... but the past few days….

He just couldn’t find the patience to deal with the roller coaster of her emotions, as well as his own.

Even though he realized it was probably just stress, Xander couldn’t help but start to dwell on the negative things about their relationship.

Coming to a decision, as Anya brought him the sling and was helping him settle it, he took a deep breath before saying, “Anya? We need to talk.”


Part 4

Anya and Xander had talked through the night, and had mutually - at least, Xander thought it was mutual - decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take some time apart, although he was on incredibly unsure ground here.

He didn’t like the fact that he was going to enjoy breathing air that Anya’s perfume hadn’t tinged. Before the events of the past week or so, Xander had thought that he was well on his way to falling in love with Anya. Now…

He couldn’t help but be glad when she left, and relished the quiet that came after. It gave him the space to think. But feeling glad then made him feel extremely guilty.

Three hours later, nursing a cup of coffee, Xander sighed. He was already feeling less guilty, proving that time apart was definitely a good thing.

He had called in to work using the rest of his sick days, as well as the remainder of the vacation time he had saved up. It added up to three weeks. Maybe he could go for a few hours some days… ? Shaking his head, he decided to think about it when it came to crunch-time, and until then, procrastination was a great option.

Deciding that to veg and ponder would be the best option for the time-being, Xander poked, prodded, flexed and otherwise examined his female form. Saving the world was going to have to take a backseat to exploring his womanly ways - he needed to get comfortable with said womanly ways.

Xander really hated the whole peeing thing. He just did. And the breasts! Sure, they were fun to poke at and squeeze to see what was what, but when making sudden movements, the jiggles were really annoying. He couldn’t even do the snoopy dance with them. Now he fully realized the real reason Buffy and Willow had only half-heartedly attempted it, and Anya had flat-out refused, when he had tried to get them to join him.

When his chest had stopped aching, he had sat down to watch television. TV allowed his mind to drift, and he could be both mindless and thoughtful. Bless the pretty pictures, Xander thought.

Well into his second day of not having Anya around, Xander was feeling strangely content - whether it was the absence of Anya’s morning pot of foul-smelling Earl Grey tea, or her blasting - at full volume - The View… The View. Definitely The View.

On the path to acceptance, Xander thought. Or at the very least, slowly getting used to the fluidity of gender switching every quarter-day.

Snorting, Xander lifted his hands in front of him; he definitely liked their shape. Wriggling his bare toes, he thought his feet were nice too. His legs, however, were just too skinny and splotchy or something.

Seeing an ad for Kotex reminded him of another thing about being female for the next month - he was going to get his period. It was going to strike with no warning. Six hours at a time, twice a day, for three to seven days. Such is life when one lives on a Hellmouth.

Wondering if he would go the emotional way or the cramp way, or both, Xander thought that patrolling would be a great outlet. Whatever happened, he knew that violence against random demons would ease distress of some sort.

Training with Buffy or someone would restore his confidence defending himself and also actively kicking ass would appease his still very manly side. Also, he needed to help. Sunnydale was his home and he felt responsible for the populace, oblivious though they were.

Spending another two days by himself, Xander felt even more relaxed and at ease with his body, in whichever form it happened to be in, and was up for an adventure - or possibly a movie night.

#####

“Hey Xan!” Buffy’s cheery voice sound over the receiver.

“Hey Buff. What’s shakin’?” Xander sat at the table, doing the daily crossword. Gotta love Mondays.

“Nothin much right now, but hopefully there’ll be much shakin’ later,” Buffy said, hopefully.

“Huh?”

“Well, you think you’re up for a night of Bronzin’?”

“Buff, you are aware that I’d be in my girl form, right? I don’t know…” Secretly, Xander was overjoyed with the idea. Doing something sweaty at night was just what he was in the mood for.

“Xander, we know you’ll be in girl-mode, but we want to let off some steam, a-and we want your steam to mix with our steam. Well, that was nasty, and I don’t think I’ll look at steam the same way ever again. Anyway, just think of it as going out and doing your thing as part of a nearly month-long Halloween. Well, uh, maybe not, because look how Halloween usually goes for us….” After Xander finished his chuckle, which sounded more like a giggle, Buffy continued. “We just think that a night of getting your groove on would help with any possible stress. A-and we miss you. It’s been a few days since any of us have seen you.”

Thinking that Buffy had wheedled for long enough, Xander sighed. “Okay.”

He interrupted Buffy’s squeal of delight with, “All right, two things. One. Since we’re treating this as a Halloween thing, I think that dressing up might, you know, be okay.” The piercing shriek of delight almost made Xander drop the phone - as it was, his eye gave a substantial twitch. “Two. No push-up bras.”

#####

“I can’t believe you’re making me wear this,” Xander said, looking in the mirror and shaking his head. “And I can’t believe I’m going along with it. I’m exposed.”

Hearing Buffy’s giggle, he turned to mock-glare at her.

Turning back to the mirror, even he had to admit it. His new body definitely worked this outfit, or at least worked the top. Dark-green and slightly glittery, with two strings that tied around the neck. Half of his back and shoulders were bare, and the strapless bra he was wearing made his breasts perfectly rounded. I’m hot, Xander thought.

The plain black skirt he was wearing, that went past Xander’s ankles, showed off nothing. Well, his hips were there, but no matter what he wore, they were obvious.

Shaking his head, Xander realized he was wearing a skirt. He never thought he would ever wear a skirt again. After he was ‘initiated’ at that frat party years back, he vowed no skirt would ever grace his thighs again. Yet, here he was. Voluntarily dressing in drag, even though technically he wasn’t in drag, since he was physically female.

Biting his lip, Xander tried to figure out what was missing. Shoes!

Looking around the room, he found a pair of dark green sneakers. Perfection! he thought.

After he finished putting on the shoes, and was experimenting to see if they were the proper fit, he heard Willow make a happy noise.

“Xander, hold out your hand,” Willow said, bouncing over to him from Buffy’s bureau.

Looking up and seeing his best friend beaming a gleeful smile at him, he extended his palm warily. Willow took a few steps back, after placing something small and metallic in his hand. Xander looked down and raised a questioning eyebrow to the red head.

“Barrettes?”

Willow nodded.

“With shiny, green ladybugs?”

Willow grinned and nodded.

“Okay.” Sighing, Xander picked up a barrette. Standing back in front of the mirror, he attempted to place the barrette in his hair. The result was the barrette hanging on by a few hairs and dangling precariously when he turned his head.

Turning to Willow, he gave her a helpless look, before she smiled fondly and took the forlorn barrette and carefully slid it through his hair, securing it firmly, but allowing a few of the bangs to fall. After doing the same to the other side, Xander looked in the mirror. The shine on the bugs added sparkle to his eyes, and the bangs framed his face perfectly. He could deal with this.

When the other girls were finally ready to leave, Xander said, “You know, Anya is going to be pissed when she gets back, that I did the girl thing without her.”

Buffy, Willow and Tara shared awkward looks, before gathering their coats.

“But I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much with her here,” Xander said, sadly.

Willow squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

Giving Xander an understanding smile, Buffy moved to hold open the door. Buffy said, “Booty time!” Taking in everyone’s blank looks, Buffy looked abashed. “Well, not booty time per se, just booty shakage?” So began a conversation about the merits of booty shakage versus booty time, and why neither were in the least chuckle-worthy.

#####

“Can I get a water?” Xander yelled over the music to the bartender.

“Nice moves, pet,” Spike said. The vampire was leaning against the bar, a few feet from Xander.

The bartender returned with the water, and Xander gave the vampire an indifferent look before handing over a few bills.

Taking a large swig, he heard Spike say, “A floor-length skirt? Not going to show off your new legs?”

Shooting Spike a withering look, Xander said, “If you must know, my legs… leave much to be desired. Plus, I was so not going to shave them. I shaved my armpits, and ‘that’ is a an experience I hope never to go through again.”

“Ooo. You did? Lemme see!”

Shaking his head and wondering about his sanity, Xander sighed. “Okay, fine. Just, please, stop bouncing. It’s just… wiggy.”

Now, how to do this without just raising an arm and looking stupid, Xander thought. Stretching would work!

Raising both arms in a stretch, that’s when he felt it. A finger was running along a curve from the underside of his left arm all the way down to near his ribcage, tickling him.

Yelping, Xander glared at Spike. Seeing Spike’s large grin, Xander burst out, “God! You are so gross a-and evil! How often do you do that, anyway? Because, ew, the deodorant factor. You are so… yuck!” As his voice raised an octave on the last word, he felt a strong urge to stomp his foot, but Xander decided going back to his actual friends would be a better option.

Turning to head towards Willow and Tara, who were sitting at a far table, he almost missed Spike’s words, “You sure you weren’t just using a glamour before, you know, to make us all believe you were a boy?”

Turning to give Spike a wry smile, Xander said, “Yes, Spike. I did it to hide the fact that I was a lesbian. I was afraid the girls wouldn’t want me.” Rolling his eyes, Xander then noticed someone standing extremely close behind him - way too close.

“Don’t think it’s the girls you have to worry about now, pet,” Spike said, pointedly looking at a large, college-age guy, looming somewhat drunkenly.

Unconsciously leaning away from the guy and towards Spike, Xander said, “Looks like.”

Just as Xander felt Spike’s hand begin to hover on the small of his back in a protective gesture, an oblivious Buffy chose that moment to pull Xander back out to the dance floor, telling him he’d had enough of a break.

Breathing an inner sigh of relief, Xander shrugged and smiled back at Spike, who rolled his eyes, but raised his drink in a parting gesture.

Going back out to the dance floor with the ever-energetic Slayer, Xander gulped down the rest of his water. Tossing the bottle into a recycling bin, Xander found himself dancing with a full boogie-mode Slayer and a grinning Riley. Willow and Tara joined them, and the dance-fest was on.

As he was rolling and shimmying his hips and arms to the beat, he put a little more effort into making the moves a little more fluid. Although he knew his movements were probably drawing unwanted stares, there was only one stare he found himself noticing.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Spike was still at the bar and, oddly enough, looking his way. When he first noticed, he mentally shrugged it off, but a little butterfly decided to fly around in his stomach. It was a lot like the feeling you get when you know someone you like, or have a crush on, is in the room; you want them to watch you, notice you, and maybe even kiss you.

But Xander wasn’t thinking any of these things. He was just dancing.



TBC