*****

“Spike?” Buffy gently whispered.

The light winds rustling the autumn leaves above them were her only reply.

“Spike please speak to me…” Buffy begged hoarsely, tugging on his sleeve of his duster. Spike moved away from her, ignoring her heartrending pleas.

Buffy sank back onto her heels, shaking her head at Xander and Willow sorrowfully. Their faces fell at her failure of establishing some sort of contact with the impassive vampire.

“Spike, I- ” Buffy faltered as he blanched at the sound of her voice. She kept silent for a while, knowing the vampire did not take well to her presence. After a few minutes she tried again, speaking softly as not to agitate him further. “Spike,” Buffy murmured. “I don’t know what to tell you-” A mirthless laugh escaped the vampire, and tears filled Buffy’s eyes as she realized she wasn’t any closer to getting through to him.

Buffy became desperate. “Spike I never meant...my friends I-” Buffy’s words caught in her throat as she struggled to contain her emotions. “She was going to drain them, and I just...Spike I didn’t even know she was back in Sunnydale!” she cried helplessly. Buffy inhaled deeply before continuing. “I am so sorry Spike. I didn’t...oh god I didn’t even recognize her...” Buffy’s eyes brimmed over as she shakingly delivered her final sentence.

“I never meant to stake Drusilla.”

Spike released an ear-splitting roar as her words took effect, and Buffy drew back in sadness, knowing there was nothing more she could say. Willow immediately rushed over to aid her friend, and together they slowly made their way back to Giles’s car, where Xander was waiting.

“Let’s go home.” Xander said quietly. Buffy nodded her assent as a concerned look fell on Willow’s face. “I don’t think he should be left alone.” She said worriedly. The three of them looked at each other uneasily, knowing Willow was right but not wanting to remain there nevertheless. The uncomfortable silence dragged on for a few minutes.

Finally Xander sighed in frustration. “Fine, I’ll stay with him. You go return Giles’s car.” Not waiting for a reply, he turned around and slowly made his way back to Spike, hesitantly crouching down next to him. Spike didn’t seem surprised to see him there, or maybe he was simply unaware of Xander’s presence. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Spike didn’t speak a word, which was fine with Xander because he wouldn’t know what to tell him anyway. He cared about Spike’s feelings. Of course he did. Even though all Spike ever did was get on his nerves half the time, Xander wasn’t heartless. It’s just that he just didn’t know how to express his sympathy in a way that wouldn’t make him look like an insensitive jackass. So they sat there in utter and complete silence, neither making a move to break it until-

“No one loved her more than I did.” Spike said suddenly.

Xander nodded sadly, not fazed by Spike’s sudden declaration. “I know she loved you just as much.”

A heartbroken sob escaped the grieving vampire, and before he knew it he was in Xander’s arms crying uncontrollably, holding on to the boy’s waist for dear life. Spike buried his face in Xander’s chest, repeating Dru’s name over and over as he sobbed brokenly. He hiccupped and gasped as the words jammed in his throat, causing him to choke and cough violently. Xander tightened his arms around Spike comfortingly, drawing him closer into the embrace, doing his best to calm him down. Enveloped in the warmth of Xander’s body, Spike could hear nothing but the sound of the boy’s heartbeat, and its steady rhythm was soothing to him. His agonized cries finally gave way to soft weeping, and soon he stopped crying altogether. He remained in Xander’s arms for a long moment, letting himself enjoy the feeling of being held. It had been so long…

Self-loathing soon overtook Spike’s senses, and he disengaged himself from the boy’s embrace roughly. What was he thinking, allowing his vulnerability to surface in front of Xander? He was disgusted with himself for letting the slayer’s lackey, of all people, comfort him after she’d staked his ex-lover. It was dirty. It was unthinkable. It was not DONE. Spike shoved himself to his feet and glared down at Xander.

“I hate you.” He spat with hateful force, his face flushed with embarrassment.

Xander stood up as well, anger written all over his face. Spike paid no heed, his eyes blazing with white rage that coursed through his every vein, blocking out everything else, everything else except the sudden overwhelming need for revenge. And he was going to get it.

“Fuck you. And your friends.” Spike hissed scathingly, before whirling around and disappearing into the night. Let the whelp find his own way back. And if Slutty thought an apology was all it took to make things right again, she had another thing coming. He wasn’t going to let them get away with Dru’s murder so easily. He smiled maliciously to himself as an evil plan began to unfurl in his head. The smile stayed with him all the way back to his crypt.

He wouldn’t be weak anymore. He had a plan.

He was going to make them pay.

Dearly.

End