*****

Well this is just ducky, Xander reflected stupidly. Things had sure gone downhill since their last sexual encounter with games. Less than an hour with the insufferable vampire and he could already feel his brain cells being shredded into ribbons. Being with a buttmunch like Spike could do that to a person. Xander hadn’t spoken a smart thing since Spike had waltzed into the room ten minutes ago, pack of cards in hand.

Ten minutes ago, he was bored to death. So was Spike. They were both bored to death. But they weren’t being bored together, which was the silver lining in the whole cloud of Blahdom. Yep, he still didn’t like spending too much time with him. There was only so much Twister could do. Anyway Xander knew it couldn’t last. As if on cue a loud slamming of doors ensued, and who should appear out of nowhere but that obnoxious vampire, all twinkling eyes and swishing coat.

“Prepare to be astounded,” Spike had announced dramatically, “By the awesome skill of the world's most renowned fortune teller, William The Bloody!”

“Really?!”

“No, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Tell your fortune?”

And that, was how Xander came to be sitting across the table from an over-excited vampire. An over-excited vampire who had made no attempt to read Xander’s fortune, but had instead chose to read his own two times over. An over-excited vampire who was currently shuffling cards like there was no tomorrow. Xander wished he would stop. It was making a horrible sound, like the kind bees made when they whizzed past your ear.

Boredom, meet Irritation. I’m sure you’ll get along famously.

God, he missed just being bored.

Suddenly, Spike gave a little yelp and smacked the cards down on the table.

Oh thank God he’s finally stopped, Xander thought gratefully. I knew he’d stop that obnoxious shuffling sooner or later.

“Of course you did you idiot, you’re crushing my foot.” Spike informed him hotly. Oh. Xander removed his punishing foot with a sheepish grin. “Sorry.” Good foot, Xander praised silently. Good, good foot. Daddy will give you a nice rub for stopping Spike.

Spike nursed his swollen foot for a moment before reaching for his cards again. Xander’s hands immediately smacked down on Spike’s, effectively preventing any annoying shuffling action.

“Spike, you said you could alleviate my boredom.” Xander said slowly, as if talking to a retarded child. “I. Am. Still. Bored.”

“Wanker.” Spike snorted before thrusting Xander’s hands off his own. “Well, if I must, I must.” He proceeded to shuffle the cards again, making Xander wince. “I’ll tell you who you were in a past life alright?”

Xander perked up a little as Spike splayed out seven cards within his palm. He’d always wanted to know who he’d been in a previous life. His heart sped up as he ruminated upon the endless possibilities. Alexander the Great, Hercules, Julius Caesar-

“A spring roll.” Spike announced.

Xander’s heart had still been beating before this stupid game. What the hell did Spike mean, a fucking spring roll?

“What the hell do you mean, a fucking spring roll!!” Xander burst out.

Spike sighed in irritation. “You were a spring roll in a Chinese restaurant.” He repeated impatiently. “Extra crispy. A delectable, finger licking good-”

“Don’t say it!” Xander held up a warning finger. “Don’t say it, or I’ll kick your ass straight into next week before you can say-”

“Deep fat fry?”

“AAARGHH!” Xander banged the table in frustration as Spike bit his lip to keep from laughing. “Forget it.” Xander announced as calmly as he could. “You’re evil. Why should I believe anything you tell me?”

Spike shrugged. “Hey, don’t argue with the cards. It’s not my fault you were a -”

“I’m warning you, Spike.” Xander gave Spike the evil eye. Suddenly something occurred to him, and he made a wild grab for the cards.

“OI!” Spike quickly snatched them out of his grip. “Let me see those cards!” Xander insisted. “You’re a fake, I know it! This whole thing is a crock!” He tried to reach across the table, but Spike pushed his chair back several centimetres, waving the cards in the air indignantly. “I am not a fake! And these cards are genuine tarot cards, no doubt about it!”

Xander put his hands on his hips, too lazy to go around the table and have it out with the annoying Fangless one. “Fine. If your cards are so goddamn powerful, tell me about my family and childhood life.”

Xander could’ve sworn he saw Spike gulp. “Errr-right.” Spike cleared his throat, rearranging the cards around a bit. It all looked very suspicious to Xander, who was watching with narrowed eyes. He’d get the vampire yet.

Ignoring the boy, Spike looked at the cards displayed before him with uncertainty. How did he get himself into these situations? Still, the great fortune-teller had to go on. He closed his eyes and concentrated. “Family life, family life…hold on I’m getting something…I’m getting something…you…either had a brother or a sister…or youwereanonlychild.” Spike finished lamely.

“No shit, Sherlock. Give me those cards.”

“Nonono wait wait!” Spike yelped, racking his brain. “And… you were…you want…” Say something, bloody hell! Something, anything!

And congratulations to him, he actually saw a solution. Which actually was the slight bulge in Xander’s jeans. Salvation, here comes Spike.

And Little Spike.

He set the cards down on the table, smiling seductively as he walked towards Xander. “I don’t need tarot cards to tell me what you want, nummy.” Oh, give me a whorehouse and call me Slutty! Did I actually say that?

Xander scowled back at him, oblivious to the horrible pick up line and determined not to let Spike sway him. “No way, Spike. I know what you’re trying to do and there’s no way you’re gonna use sex to weasel your way outta this one ohhhhwowwwwwwwwohwowohwoww…”

Spike gave a feral grin as he massaged Xander cock through his tight jeans. The boy had a kink, all right. Loved it with his clothes on. Fine, he’d let the boy have his way for a while.

And then Spike would show him the big guns.

“Watch me.” Spike instructed, not stopping for a second. Xander’s eyes immediately lowered to Spike’s hand, his hips thrusting as he watched Spike knead his heated flesh through his clothes. They stood that way, without any other part of their bodies touching except for Spike’s hand on Xander’s dick. And the fact Xander was watching himself get his rocks off only made him hornier. Spike’s hand pressed against Xander’s cock, rubbing harder and harder. Circling and pushing against it. Xander began to make little breathy noises, his body arching towards Spike’s hand.

“Still care about tarot cards, luv?” Spike teased as he continued his ministrations.

Xander bucked into his grip, his body twisting in pleasure. “Tarot?” He breathed. “Tarot who?”

“Never mind.” Spike snickered. Playtime with clothes was almost up, time to get to the grand finale. He got onto his knees and pushed his tongue against Xander’s pulsing organ. Xander moaned as Spike slowly pulled down the zipper of his jeans while sucking his nipple at the same time.

“Nice.” *lick* “And hard.” *suck* Spike sucked on Xander’s nipple loudly, making sure the boy could hear it, the swirl of his tongue around the peak, the moan as he bit down gently. Pants now off, Spike removed his mouth from Xander’s nipple, getting back on his knees. Wasting no time, he immediately clamped his lips around Xander’s purpling cock and sucked almost hard enough to cause pain, his hands tugging on Xander’s balls. Xander went half crazy with lust and fucked Spike’s face brutally as his groans echoed off the basement wall. “Goood, so fucking good Spike!” Xander moaned as he thrust faster and faster, desperate for the need to cum. It was at this precise moment that Spike pulled away slightly. “What do you want?” He growled.

Xander rotated his hips in frustration, only the tip of his cock in Spike’s mouth. He was close, so close…“I want…” He let out a yell of ecstasy as Spike bit down on his cock. Xander was going to be blunt. “I want to cum. Make me cum, I need to cum. Please…” Xander nearly reached for his own cock but Spike’s talented mouth suddenly took all of him in again. That was all he needed. “Fuck!” Xander cursed as he came in hot spurts down Spike’s throat. Spike sucked on Xander’s dick greedily, swallowing everything down. Yep, he’d made Xander forget everything alright. After a few moments Xander gently pulled the vampire up to face him. “You’re still a fake.” He murmured teasingly. “But you’ve been a great help.”

“I’m not, and no problem. Let’s go to bed, hmm?” Spike wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and within seconds they were kissing and groping each other shamefully.

Thank God for distractions, Spike thought as he sucked on Xander’s lower lip. He had business to take care of, but that could wait. Right now he had another problem to take care of.

Tomorrow he’d throw away the Pokemon collector cards.

end.