Ok. I've invited Spike over again. Cause there's another game on and I thought he'd like it. And besides, it's something to do.

Shut up.

We've just finished dusting a couple of vamps on patrol and Spike is a bit pumped. He's bouncing around like Tigger on speed. I leave him to find the channel and I go make some popcorn and grab a couple of beers. I suppose I should get the guy some blood, but that's just…like…ew. And besides, that would sort of indicate that I intended inviting him over on a regular basis. And though I am sort of enjoying his company, I'm not ready for that 'Spike is my bestest buddy' kind of commitment yet. As for the 'Spike is my sex monkey' kind of commitment I am VERY not ready for that. Although, I must admit, getting more comfortable with the idea. More comfortable as in, not as scared shitless as I was two weeks ago. But that was so not why I invited him back tonight. The thing is, I'm still amazed about how much Spike is NOT being an asshole about the whole thing. He hasn’t used it against me or told any of the girls or anything. In fact he sort of acts like it never happened, like it was no big deal.

Which is good. I'm so much over the whole talking about it thing. And I've managed to keep my panic attacks down to a bare minimum. Ignoring the whole sexuality issue rather well too I think.

***********

I settle myself down comfortably on Xander's couch. I'm looking forward to this match. I'm thinking the whelp wasn't too freaked out by our activities a couple of nights a go. Wonder if he wants to do a little more experimenting tonight? The stupid thing is, I'm actually enjoying this thing we've got going here. The hanging about, the meaningless sexual acts. It's pathetic and I sound like a sad tosser, but these last few weeks there's actually been some moments when I've forgotten that Buffy died. That it was my fault. That everything is dark and pointless. Like I said, pathetic tosser.

Then again, maybe I'm just a whore, who'll do anything to watch a Manchester United match.

"You making popcorn?" I say as the scent of it wafts out from the kitchen.

"Yeah, you eat popcorn?"

"Course I bloody eat popcorn. Eat anything, me." Happen to like most food actually. Gives me something to do.

"Yet you won't give up that nasty blood drinking habit."

"Eating doesn't sustain a vampire, numbskull, need blood, like a transfusion. Don't have our own blood. All borrowed."

"Oh, and there I was thinking it was just a quirky lifestyle choice."

I chuckle, then say sourly.

"Yeah well, it's not a bloody choice to drink it out of sodding plastic bags, let me tell you."

************

I walk into the lounge while I'm talking to Spike.

"Maybe you could get like an intravenous drip or something, then it wouldn't be so gross." I warm to this idea. "Hey! Check yourself into hospital and say you've got that disease, the one where you bleed all the time, and you're anemic!"

"So anemic, in fact, that I haven't even got a bloody heartbeat!" Spike and sarcastic, how could I forget?

"You may mock fang boy, but I can see it now: Doctor, Doctor, we need blood -quickly! This man is pale!"

Spike looks at me with a perfectly straight face.

"Xander, you want to wear a nurse's uniform for me some time?"

And is it just me or did that just sound sexy? Oh, it's just me.

************

I chuckle, Harris turned bright red. Yeah, call me pale, whelp.

"That's it, I'm holding the remote," he says and disappears back into the kitchen. I hear the microwave beep.

I settle down on the couch. The match is about to start. And of course the bloody power goes out.

"Oh bloody hell." The flat is plunged into darkness. The sweet sounds of a roaring football crowd and the pre-game music are cut off.

"Oh, crap," says the whelp in his inimitable style.

"Fuse?" I ask.

Xander falls over something walking into the lounge room. That's right, human, can't see in the dark.

"I'll do it," I say and go and find the fuse box. The fuses seem to be fine and the whole block is in darkness.

"Bloody fantastic," I say.

************

Damn. I was looking forward to that game. Not that I'd ever tell Spike that. I suppose he'll want to go home now. I've managed to locate the two candle stumps I own but I can't find the matches, so Spike lights them with his lighter.

"Thanks," I say. I look at him. "So…uh…"

"Got cards or anything?" he asks. He shrugs. "Power might come back on in a bit. Might as well stay in case, maybe catch some of the game at least."

I nod.

"Er…no cards…they're at Wills." I rack my brains. "I've got Operation?" Actually, pulling bits out of people, that might be pretty appropriate.

*************

We sit around the whelp's kitchen table with two stubs of candles for light. Least he got the popcorn cooked. A box containing a drawing of a naked man with little holes cut in him is in front of us. In the holes are bits of plastic which supposedly represent body parts. You're supposed to remove those bits apparently. The things they make for children these days.

"The object of the game is to get as many parts out without touching the tweezers to the metal." Harris demonstrates and touches the tweezers to the metal. The bloke's nose buzzes loudly.

"I can't bloody believe I'm playing this," I mutter.

"Come on Spike, think of it as disembowelment."

*************

We play a couple of games and I'm actually better then Spike at it. He's too impatient. He has a scary knowledge of all the body parts though. I refuse to let him tell me any of the events that led to this real life knowledge. I finish off the last crumbs of popcorn. It's pretty fun though. Despite his bitching.

I stretch my leg out and my foot brushes Spike's. He shifts his foot but not away, so that his boot touches my sneaker more. I don't say anything. He doesn't say anything. Operation guy's nose buzzes though.

************

This ain't too bad. Bloody annoying fiddly game though. I'm getting frustrated. The whelp is wiggling his foot next to mine. I lift my foot a bit and just run the toe of my boot along the side of his sneaker. Just as he's about to lift the wishbone out of our victim. Oh dear. Did the buzzer go off?

I chuckle.

***********

Bastard. He is going to pay. I slip off my shoe and wait until he's almost got his bit out then I run my sock covered foot up his leg right to….And oh look, the buzzer went off. Spike just looks at me. Hey, this has got nothing to do with footsies. This is all about competing.

"Let's make this game a bit more interesting then Harris," he says.

"Spike, Operation cannot get more interesting," I grin. "Ok, what do you suggest?"

***********

I'm serious. Strip Operation. The kid stops laughing and catches up with me. Yeah, pet, follow that thought through.

**********

Oh. Oh? My jeans get a bit tight. Ok, another good night to be wearing briefs. I know I'm going to win though so that won't be a problem.

*********

I've got all of four items of clothing on, my shirt, my jeans and two boots. S'alright. The more clothing I lose the higher the distraction factor. Yeah I'm hot. What of it?

********

Spike sets the buzzer off and pulls his shirt off with a smirk. Spike, shirtless. I take a deep breath. Have I mentioned Spike is shirtless? In candlelight. Spike and romantic is one of those oxy things but he looks…good. And he's looking at me so fucking coolly, with his eyebrow raised, like he's considering me. I shift a bit. Ok, so I'm experimenting with the whole gay sex thing, doesn't mean I'm lusting after Spike. I'm concentrating, dammit! NOT thinking about Spike kneeling over me, jacking off.

More naked Spike, less naked me.

*********

Damn, the kid got that piece out. I take my turn and manage to extract the Adam's apple. I stretch back and just as the kid is having his go, I lift my right leg up and run my foot along his thigh.

The buzzer goes off. He glares at me but…off it comes…

"A shoe?"

*********

"Yeah, like I'm going to start with the big stuff first," I say, grinning at him. "Sorry Spike, I know you're just dying to see my naked deliciousness but you're just going to have play much better for that."

Spike raises an eyebrow, looks me over, then removes the Charley Horse.

*********

Pretty soon I kick off my second boot. Only jeans left. Harris is down to his knickers. Seems his ability to play Operation is proportional to his level of arousal. And he is very aroused. I didn't even have to see the erection straining at his pants when he dropped his trousers to know that. The scent is enticing. And I'm thinking about what I didn't do the last time. I know I sound like a right big nance, but Xander's chest gleams in the candle light, and he looks almost beautiful. My jeans are tight. One more go, then off they come, and we start playing something interesting.

*********

I shift in my seat. I'm a little bit nervous and, ok, excited. Spike is watching me and he's got that damn sexy look on his face, the one he gets when we're about to do some very inappropriate things. I take my turn and thank god, get the funny bone out.

Then Spike has his turn, and…bastard! He didn't even try!

"Oops," he smirks as he touches the tweezers directly to the metal. The nose buzzes and Spike stands up. "Guess I lose."

I cough. His erection is obvious. My ears are hot. I watch as with painful slowness he undoes each button on his jeans.

I can't help it. I snicker. Yeah I'm mature.

Spike looks annoyed and a little bit offended.

"What?" he demands.

I shake my head.

"Sorry, just…William the Bloody is giving me a strip tease."

Spike looks at me steadily and I can't read his expression.

"That's not all William the Bloody is going to give you either, lad," he says.

Ok, officially out of my depth. Still watching me, Spike starts undoing his jeans again. Then it springs out and he drops his jeans down around his ankles and kicks them off. Spike is naked. Spike is standing in front of me. Naked. With a hard on. Now would be a good time to gulp. I've never actually seen Spike naked before. I've seen him without pants and I've seen him without a shirt but never without both at the same time. And ok, I admit it I've put the two together and imagined Spike and the nakedness. He's better in real life. He's all taut muscle and the candlelight makes him almost beautiful. And I have to remind myself that this is Spike.

"Uh, yeah, guess you lose the Strip Operation Superbowl," I say.

**********

Harris lets his eyes flicker over me. It's hesitant, almost shy and might I add, bloody erotic. "That makes you the winner," I say. I don't move. Just stand there. But fuck I'm so hard now it's getting painful. He swallows hard and then gets up.

"So what does the winner get?" he asks and I have to give him credit for having the knackers to do it. The candlelight makes his tan skin gleam and he's flushed with desire. Bloody hell, I want him.

**********

Spike looks me over and you'd think I was the one naked not him. We're really close now. Too close. I wish my heart would stop racing. Spike doesn't take his eyes off me. He's studying me. And he's looking at me…almost…softly. Then he reaches out a hand and runs his finger tips down my chest. Ok, I shuddered. Then I touch Spike's face and I know I'm trembling, I'm just nervous ok. Because this is different. So different to before.

**********

Yeah whelp, you want me don't you? Xander looks at me and there's a sudden vulnerability there that makes my figurative breath catch in my throat. His fingers nervously trace over my cheek and I can feel him trembling. And his eyes are all dark and wondering. I want this, I realise. I want this sweetness. Fuck the consequences. We move in closer to each other and then very softly, I press my mouth to his.

**********

We kiss so gently, it's amazing, almost as if we're both afraid to touch each other, which is weird. I wonder if it's because we're both practically naked? Cause when we were clothed we were all over each other. Now, Spike just presses his open hand to my chest and I rest one hand on his upper arm and with our other hands we cup each other's faces and we kiss.

Oh fuck it feels so nice. It's so incredibly tender it's almost painful. I don't know if I've even ever kissed Anya like this. And it's Spike I'm kissing like this, and it doesn't even feel wrong.

***********

Our kiss deepens and we move closer, press into each other. Mmm nice. I press my hips into him a little more firmly. Xander runs his hand so, fucking, painfully slowly, down my back, down my side, then just…strokes me…so gently. He's kissing me so slowly, so gently. He's bloody doing my head in. This is too fucking sweet. I break from his lips and trail some kisses down his jawline, to his neck, kiss along the pulse point there, sucking, licking. He grips my cock harder. Nice. And although the blood pumping so close to the surface of his skin makes my demon hunger and me harder, he doesn't flinch, just presses against me more and lets out this soft little moan. His other hand grips my arm, holding me to him. I thrust my hips gently against his hand, and make little nips and sucks along his throat, down his collarbone, then back to his lips. I can feel how hard he is, digging into my stomach. I don't think he even realises what he's doing to me. The number of good spots he touches.

"Spike?" he says as I pull away from his lips.

"Yeah pet?" I murmur nibbling at his earlobe. He shivers.

"Oh fuck that feels nice," he laughs a little.

************

"Spike?" I try again.

"Yeah?" he whispers in my ear.

"I, uh, I get it. I know this is just sex," I say. I'm not sure what I'm going to say or do and this is so incredibly tender that I need him to know, that I know, that this means nothing to him.

"Yeah, it's just sex," he says and it sounds almost like a sigh. And he stops for a second. Oh crap. Have I fucked up the moment? But then he's back at my neck and his hands are gliding over my body again.

"I just thought I ought to tell you that I get that," I say. "That I know."

"I know too. We're just fucking."

"Good."

Spike licks my ear.

"Can we make love now?"

"Yeah."

*************

"Uh, bedroom?" Xander asks. "More comfortable."

"Fine by me." And we do that tangled-in-each-other walk to his bedroom. Harris lets go of me when we get there and he pulls the covers back on the bed. It's dark but I can still see him. Neat little thing, this vampire vision. He looks nervous. I go over to him and press myself into his back, wrapping my arms around his stomach. I kiss the back of his neck.

"Ok?" I ask.

He nods and doesn't tremble as much.

"S'alright pet," I say. "I won't hurt you."

"I know," he says. "Just, you know, never done this before."

I grin. "Virgin," I tease.

"Shut up, dirty old guy," but he relaxes a bit and his voice sounds more normal.

"What do you expect?" I say. "I am a vampire. It's our job to debauch innocent young things like yourself."

And then that innocent young thing wiggles his arse against my very hard dick.

**************

Spike's hands slip down from my stomach and he begins fondling me through my briefs. He starts kissing my neck again and I lean into him. Spike's being so gentle. Which, I know, is weird, but I'm starting to get used to Spike doing stuff I didn't expect. I don’t feel so nervous now. Excited? Yeah. Horny? Definitely yeah. Looking forward to doing some more of that stuff I did with Spike last time? Oh yes. Nervous, not as much. And then he runs his tongue…ALL. The. Way. Down. My. Back.

"Gah!" I actually say and shiver because it's ticklish and sends tingles to all the right places. I feel Spike chuckle rather than hear him and then he eases my briefs down and that tongue continues on its merry way.

"Oh fuck!" And I nearly fall over.

**************

I kneel behind the whelp and stroke him with one hand while I pay some attention to that arse of his. Xander is actually pretty fit. Must be all that construction work he's been doing. Funny the things you think about when you've got your tongue stuck up someone's arse. He grabs hold of my shoulder for support. I work my tongue in and out a bit. Bugger, why don't I ever get the lube ready first?

I pull back.

"Xander, got any lubricant in that bedside cabinet of yours?"

"Yeah," he says breathlessly. "Bottom drawer. Squirty bottle."

I get up and go find it. I grin as I pull it out. "Buying in bulk then pet?" I say.

Xander lies down on the bed. "Well, you know Anya. Liked the sex."

Oh. Yeah.

**************

Spike climbs on the bed and straddles my hips. He leans forward onto his elbows so he's on all fours above me. It's dark and the only light comes through the bedroom door from the two candles in the kitchen. I can just make out Spike's features. He's looking at me. Then he leans down and kisses me. And it's firm but still very very tender. And yeah, I kiss him back. And then…oh man, that feels good. Spike lowers himself down on me. Our naked bodies touching, his cock touching mine, our tongues down each other's throats. Naked skin against naked skin. We start moving against each other, kissing, touching, rubbing. Remember Xander, friction is your friend. I run my hands over Spike's body, trying to touch all of him. I know I'm moaning, but it's so not like just jerking off. It's like Anya times. And then all too soon Spike pulls away and starts making his way down my body. But hey, that also feels great so who I am to complain? Then that cool mouth is on my cock again and I just shut my eyes and let my brain turn into a gooey horny Xander mess.

**************

I'm so fucking hard it's not funny, but for some reason I don't want to rush this. I want this to be perfect. I want to make him feel so bloody good he'll be gagging for me. I start making him ready. Gently. Want him to want this. Want to be able to take him.

"Yeah Xander," I purr. "You like that?" I get a whimpered yes and I return to sucking his cock and preparing him with my finger. Not as tense this time. Liked this last time didn't you pet? I slip in a second finger and start to slide in and out, hitting that certain spot so he bucks his cock up into my mouth. I suck him all the way in and then release him slowly as I crook my fingers, just a bit.

"Fuck Spike! Oh fuck yes!"

Yeah, he likes that.

************

I shut my eyes and I still see stars. And then he's…three? OHFUCKSPIKE! I'm gripping the sheets so hard. And all I can feel is Spike's fingers and Spike's mouth. It's weird and uncomfortable and so fucking good all at once.

"Oh fuckpleaseSpike!"

"What do you want Xander?" he asks, his voice odd, and tense.

"More…please." He thrusts his fingers in faster and I arch up and groan. "OHfuck Spike!" I want more. I want him, I want more so much.

"Tell me pet, what do you want?"

Oh I get it.

"You Spike, I want you."

And then Spike withdraws his fingers and he's up above me, his cock lightly sliding over mine. He kisses me and all I want is to have him inside me again. I look up at him and he's not smiling and I can just see his eyes looking at me.

"Want me to do this?" he asks and his voice is a bit choked.

I swallow. And I almost can't believe I'm doing this so I decide not to think about it.

"Yeah," I say. "Now. Before I change my mind."

************

I lift Xander's legs up around my waist, slipping a pillow under his arse, and add more lubricant. A lot more. Can't have the kid getting hurt. I take his swollen cock and start sliding my lube coated hand over it. Don't want to hurt him. Don't want to hurt him. I concentrate on what I'm doing to his dick rather than what I'm about to do with mine. And then I very, very carefully push. Xander grunts and lets out a tiny whimper. Not trying to hurt him. Not hurting…

"Relax pet, you have to relax. Relax for me Xander," I murmur. He's so hot and tight and OHBLOODYHELL! Oh sweet sodding hell that feels good.

*********

Relax he says. Fuck. I try, but let me just say, this is not exactly a calming activity.

"GNnrrnnghhngh!" is about the best I can manage as he enters me. Way bigger than the fingers. Oh god, fuck, crap, shit, oh fuck….oh…ohh…oh? I grip Spike's forearm for support. And suddenly, oh fuck that feels good. I've never felt anything so fucking intense. Spike pushes fully in then we're both frozen there.

************

I feel Xander shudder around me and I'm, what, nearly a hundred and thirty years old, and I feel like I’m about to cum already. I watch his face and he's looking up at me and holding my arm too tight. I take a breath then slowly pull backwards, Xander moans, and I hope it’s a good moan, but the chip isn't going off, but oh fuck that's it, that's so bloody good.

"You ok, pet?"

***********

I try to find my voice and I know I'm shaking. This is almost too much.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." So good. This is so very good.

Spike pushes forward again and then he hits that spot. OHGNRGSPIKE! He draws back and I shift my ass forward to meet him when he thrusts again.

************

Good boy, yeah Xander, that's it, like that…Xander moves into my thrusts and I'm trying to be gentle but oh damn it all to hell, it feels too good. I'm losing it, I'm not going to last much longer, a stream of nonsense comes out of my mouth.

"Yeah Xander like that love, fuck me. Xander fuck into me, yeah pet, do that, let me fuck you, yeah pet, like that don’t you pet…" that sort of bollocks. Oh fuck it feels so bloody good. So hot, so tight. We thrust against each other, me pumping Xander's cock in rhythm with our fucking.

************

"Oh fuck Spike, oh please yes, oh yeah fuck me Spike, fucking hell yes," I babble and its dark and I can't see anything except stars and all I feel is being stretched and fucked and pulled by Spike who's above me and in me. I didn't even know guys could have sex like this, face to face.

"Oh fuck Spike!" And he's so fucking big inside me.

Yeah I'm enjoying it.

************

We're just grunting now, the two of us, grunting and panting and thrusting and I know we're both going to cum soon, but I don’t want to because this feels too bloody nice. And then the lights come back on and I see him properly, see him below me, face flushed with lust and pleasure, lips red, brown eyes glazed. Wanting more. I did that. I caused that.

************

The lights flicker on and suddenly I can see Spike. He looks shocked. And I know this is going to sound really gay, but hey I'm taking it in the ass so I don't think it matters, but he's so beautiful, I never noticed how blue his eyes were before, so blue and they're wide and a bit glazed from the sex. And he's just looking at me and I look at him and we just look into each other's eyes and we keep fucking.

************

"Xander, oh fuck, I'm gonna cum," I grunt. He thrusts his arse against me as I pull back and I slam into him again.

"Fuck Spike, fuck me, fuck, I'm cumming, OHDEARGODDD SPIKE!"

His muscles clamp around me with his orgasm.

"OHFUCK, OHHELL, OHXANDER!!" And I pull his cock, pumping cum all over us as I cum and cum inside him.

***********

Spike pulls out of me and then he collapses down on me. I can't move. I'm so completely fucked. Spike groans and pulls himself up and kisses me drunkenly. I kiss him back and we just lie there for a while kissing very soft sleepy kisses that feel like heaven. Spike's arms are wrapped around me and he's stroking me very gently.

"You ok?" he murmurs.

"Mmm, yeah," I manage. It's nice. I think I'll shut my eyes for a little while.

***********

I must have fallen asleep on top of Xander because the next thing I know I open my eyes and we're lying there all over each other. He's warm. Warm's nice. I don't bother opening my eyes for a while, just lie there and listen to his breathing and his heartbeat. Warm.

Oh bloody hell, the match!

***********

I wake up with a start as what feels like a ton of vampire jumps on me.

"Wake up, Harris, you're missing it!"

"Huh?"

"The match, Manchester United versus Leeds. Last half." He gets off me.

"Oh." I sit up and blink trying to focus. "You're naked."

"Well yeah, we just had sex."

Oh of course. He smirks then kisses me quickly but still manages to get his tongue in.

I sit up and Spike is gone again. I find my briefs and pull them on then walk on very shakey legs into the lounge room. Spike is sitting my couch, focused on the soccer, completely oblivious to the fact that he's naked. I bend down and kiss him on the mouth then flop down beside him.

He looks a little startled, then grins and turns back to the game. His hair is all sticky up.

***********

Harris sits next to me still looking half asleep and decidedly shagged. I rest my hand on his thigh and sit back to enjoy the match.

***********

It's a pretty good game but I'm too tired to get really excited about anything at the moment. And my ass is a little sore, not a lot, but just a bit, guess my muscles aren't exactly used to that. I can't believe I just did that. You know what, I don’t care. I'll have an attack of homophobic panic later. I put my arm up along the top of couch and run my hand through Spike's hair, he presses his head back into my hand and he lets me pull him down to rest on it on my shoulder and I drape my arm around him. There, comfortable.

************

I tuck my hand under Xander's thigh and rest my head on his shoulder with him resting his head against mine. Yeah, that's nice.

Oi! Fuck you! Blind bloody ref!

************

Somehow I fall asleep, which is actually quite a feat, considering all the abuse Spike is hurling at the tv. When I wake up there's a blanket over me and Spike is gone.

It's morning, I'm going back to bed. Don't think I'll be getting up until midday.

The phone rings.

Great, can't a guy get any post-vampire love slave sleep around here?

*************

I'm sitting in the Magic Box playing Cluedo with Lil' Bit while we wait for the witches to get their spell shit together and for the whelp to arrive. Stupid board games are getting to be habit. Doesn't anyone play chess anymore? Some nasty's been bothering poor innocent little humans and we need to deal with it. Like I care, it's all violence to me. Just looking forward to a nice night out. Haven't seen Harris for a couple of days. Not since the Strip Operation and Leeds match. Wonder if I can get him alone in the training room later and do some more of that experimenting.

The door jangles open and he comes in.

And so does the ex-demon.

They're holding hands.

************

"Hey," I say, holding Anya's hand tightly. Maybe too tightly. The others all say hello, looking curiously at Anya.

"Hello everyone," she says. They all murmur a polite hi back and Anya smiles brightly. I know she's a little nervous though. Willow, Tara and Dawn all know I'm back with Anya. They seem cool with it. I look around and see Spike. He's looking at me. And there's something in his expression, but then it's gone. No. No I'm not going to feel guilty. What's to feel guilty about? It was just fun. Just experimenting. Spike didn't care. We were just…I don't know, fuck buddies or something. And I can't believe I just thought that.

Willow comes over and starts explaining about the demon we're chasing. An' gives me a quick hug and another bright smile and heads over to check on her money. It's so good to be back with her. I love Anya. I have great sex with Anya. Anya wants me back. Why wouldn't I be back with Anya? I haven't told her about what happened with Spike. I don't know, after the first time I really wanted to talk to her, tell her about it. But now. I guess, I don't know. I just can't. I figure Spike probably wouldn't want me telling anyone about it either.

************

"I see Harris went crawling back to the ex-demon," I smirk to Dawn. She quirks me a smile.

"Yeah they got back together yesterday."

Yesterday. Well's to be expected isn't it? Was just a bit of fun after all. Just sex. Just some convenient orgasms. Could tell he wasn't comfortable about batting for the other team. Obviously went running back to nice safe heterosexuality after that little adventure. Well good. Least I won't have him around bothering me anymore.

I'm going home.

**************

Uhoh, and time to prepare for fireworks, Anya asks Willow about the shop's records. When An' and I broke up, she left town for a while and Willow took over looking after the shop for Giles. Obviously my honey bun has a few questions. I am so not getting involved in that one. I decide to go over and talk to Spike. Maybe I should have told him first…sort of rather than having him find out like that. Not like we were seeing each other or anything though. It was just something that happened while we were hanging out. He wouldn't care.

I look over to where Dawn is sitting though and Spike's not there anymore.

*************

Stupid. Bloody stupid. I shouldn't have left. Now the whelp will think I left because I actually give a toss that he's back with his ex-demon chit. I should go back, pretend I went for smokes or something. Oh fuck it. I open my crypt door and stomp inside, slamming the door behind me. I turn on the tv, light up a cigarette and flop down on my couch. I don't care. It was just a bit of fun. Knew the kid was just curious. Had a couple of decent orgasms, nothing to write home about.

True, it wasn't bad hanging out with another bloke either. Can do that at the Bronze anytime though. Not like Xander Harris is bloody special or anything. Could probably pick up some casual sex there too if I had the inclination. Haven't really bothered with that though. Not since Buffy died…not til Harris. Probably why I went for it. Been a while. Just horny. He wanted it, I wanted it, why the hell not. Now he's got the demon girl back to get him off.

I hear the door swing open.

*************

"Spike?" I ask. He's sitting on his couch in front of the television. And yes. Ok? Yes. I'm here because I feel guilty. Ok. I've said it. Just don't ask me to think about why. I've just got this horrible feeling that I really hurt Spike's feelings. That he left the Magic Box because he was upset or something. Yeah, dumb, hey? It's not like he even has feelings. Well not about me.

"Yeah?" he says and doesn't even look around. "What?"

"You, uh, left?"

"Yeah, forgot my smokes."

"Oh." Good. Cool. That is good. He didn't leave because he's pissed off or hurt or something. Good. "You coming back?"

"Maybe. Witches ready yet?"

"Well Willow was fighting with Anya over the till when I left so I'd say no."

"I'll drop by shortly." He didn't even make a crack about Anya. I wish he'd turn around. Stand up and look at me or something. Something. Should I apologise? He'll just laugh. Ego much Xander? I'm the one thinking this actually is a problem. He just wants his cigarettes.

***************

I wait for the kid to leave but he just stands there and I'm getting edgy.

"Uh, Spike?" It's that damn tone again. The kind that leads to him saying bloody stupid things.

"What." I know I sound abrupt. I mean to.

"Uh, An' and I are having a sort of party thing on Friday night. You're welcome to come."

"We'll see," I say. "I'm pretty busy. Things to kill, sitting around to do." Why the fuck would he want me to come to his party? More to the bloody point, why the fuck would I want to go?

**************

I swallow. I’m having this sudden irrational fear that I've fucked up the whole friendship thing we were developing. I suddenly need him to know I wasn't just hanging out with him for the sex. Because, believe it or not, its true. I mean I actually liked hanging out with him. I need him to know this. It's very important that he knows this.

"Spike I just want you to know, I really liked hanging out with you. It wasn't just the wild monkey sex. I thought you should know that." I say. "And, even though I'm back with Anya I'd still like to, you know…hang out."

He doesn't say anything. Fuck. Why the hell does the idea that Spike was only being friendly with me for sex bother me? I mean soulless vampire? Oh yeah and really opening yourself up for a major put down here Xander. Spike's sure to say he was only in it for the sex. I suddenly feel like I'm in highschool again asking if I can sit with the cool kids. I don't know why I thought he actually liked spending time with me.

**************

I'm getting the let's be friends speech! He's bloody giving me the let's be friends speech! Fuck him. I stand up.

If it didn't make me look like I was gagging for his body I'd tell him I was only hanging out with him for the sex. But bugger, why should he think I gave a toss about his company? Just stupid football and beers. Nothing special.

"Don't bother yourself about it Harris," I say and manage a shrug. "I know you're being a white hat and all, but don't feel you need to keep hanging around for decencies sake. Was just a bit of fun. Forget it. Go back to your girlfriend."

"I wasn't- Right. Yeah. Whatever," says the whelp and I suddenly feel like shit because he looks like I just kicked him. He actually cares?

Oh who gives a fuck. Yeah, what the hell, if he wants to shoot pool and let me watch his cable television, who am I to say sod off?

*************

"Course if you see anymore Manchester United matches coming up…" Spike says.

Ok, I'll take that as a 'yes, Xander, it would be very pleasant to keep associating with you despite the cessation of our sexual activities'. I can't help it, I do an inner snoopy dance.

"Yeah sure," I say, really casually. "Whatever. So, see you Friday?"

Spike shrugs.

"We'll see." He grabs his pack of cigarettes and inclines his head towards the door. "Better go see what those witches are up to."

He's going to walk back with me? All right I'm thinking about being in dark secluded places alone with Spike which is so not what I should be thinking. Anya naked. Anya naked. Anya naked.

*************

I walk alongside Harris in silence. Don't particularly feel like being chatty. I'm not pissed off. I'd have to care to be pissed off. If I am pissed off it should be at myself, cause I bloody knew this was inevitable. The whelp's voice breaks me out of my considerations. I was not brooding.

"Hey Spike, I'm going to L.A. in a couple of weeks to see the Offspring. I bought a couple of tickets, you want one?"

I frown and look at him. He starts talking too much, like Red.

"I mean, Anya doesn't even like the Offspring and neither does Willow or Tara. Not that you're my last choice or anything but I thought you might like to come when I bought the tickets and I had to get two then or they'd be sold out. I mean, if you don't want to I'll just scalp them or something-"

He's asking me to go to a concert with him? Maybe the kid actually does like hanging around a neutered old dead bloke. Either that or the whelp's going to a lot of effort to prove he wasn't just hanging out with me for sex.

"Yeah I'll come," I say and surprise both of us. Offspring. Won't be too bad. Least it's not some bloody boy band. Well he is one of the sodding good guys. Must need to salve his conscience. Needs to prove to himself that he wasn't being nice just to get into my knickers. All right, I'm bloody glad. I admit it. I thought that would be it. He'd have his convenient heterosexual shag back and wouldn't want a bar of me. Kind of liked hanging out with him. Watching the football and playing pool. Haven't had someone to do stupid shit with for a long time.

Oh sod off!

************

Ok, that wasn't too hard. I mean I was sort of worried there, when I remembered the tickets. Cause I was counting on Spike wanting to go see the Offspring with me and then, the whole getting back with Anya thing…Maybe things will be cool after all. I mean it was just something that happened. Neither of us had anybody. It was just sex. Two guys getting each other off. It was just extra on top of the buddy stuff.

I don't look at Spike and we walk back to the Magic Shop in silence.

*************

end of part 4 tbc

Issues.