*****

Xander stretched long and hard, letting his muscles ripple under his tank top. "You do that just because I think you look sexy, don't you?" the vampire in his bed complained. Xander turned to Spike and grinned. "Oh yeah, definitely do it 'cause I'm watching."

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not, whatcha gonna do about it?" Xander laughed slightly. Spike growled playfully and launched from the bed. Xander easily got out of the way before Spike caught him. He leapt onto the couch, pulled down the bottom of his eye, and stuck his tongue out at his lover.

Spike smirked and went around the couch to grab Xander around the waist. Xander let out a laugh as Spike brushed his fingers against a particularly ticklish rib. The squirming caused Spike to fall to the floor and the warmth almost wriggled away. "Come back here you," Spike growled and dragged the boy back into his arms. He flipped them so that Spike was on top and Xander was grinning up at him.

Spike leaned down and inhaled the sharp scent of biting arousal. He leaned down and began to suckle on the pulsing jugular vein. His fangs itched to slice into that vein and he would have if not for someone at the damn door. He looked up and glared at the door.

"Better answer it," but Xander didn't sound like he enjoyed that idea. Spike snorted, almost blowing steam, as he rose and stalked to the door. He jerked it opened, prepared to snarl, and just stared.

"….Angel?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Angel looked up as he heard the phone ring incessantly. "Cordy?" he called. "Are you going to get that?"

There was no answer, and he sighed heavily. With a snarl of frustration, he stood and stomped over to the phone. "Angel Investigations; we--"

"It's time."

Angel frowned. "Excuse me?"

"It's time, Angelus. My son is of age; the contract we made is binding, and the time has come to fulfill it."

Stunned, Angel groped for a chair, sitting down in shock. "Zakari?" he gasped out.

A deep chuckle greeted that astounded exclamation. "Ah, you haven't forgotten me. Good."

"You're not exactly...forgettable. And it's Angel now."

"Yes, I heard about that. Pesky business, sticking a vampire with a soul. Some people just don't know how to leave well enough alone."

With a wry snort, Angel replied, "I've gotten used to it."

"Hmm. I'm sure. But we've gotten off track, old friend. You must ready your Childe, Angelus. He has until the next full moon to prepare."

"But--"

There was a growl, one fierce enough to make even a master vampire quake. "Are you trying to renege on our agreement?"

"No! Of course not!" Angel protested, swallowing hard. "It's just...I never exactly *told* him about..."

"Well then, I suggest you rectify that. Oh, and Angelus?"

"Y-Yes?"

"See you next month." There was a bark of laughter, then the line disconnected.

Angel stared at the phone blankly, hanging up only when it started to emit an annoying beeping. He stood then, and walked rather dazedly to his room, where he began to pack.

~~~~~

Spike stared at his Sire, felt Xander coming up against his back. "Spike." Angel said, "Can I come in?"

"Why?" Xander asked, looking a little weary.

"I just….really need to talk to Spike. It's really important."

"Okay, come in, Angel," Xander and Spike stepped back. "Buffy know you're in town?"

"No, I didn't have any time to tell her, there was no time. Spike, you might want to sit down. You too, Xander." Angel waited until they had both listened to him and he took a deep breath. "Spike, you're going to be getting married."

"*WHAT?!*" It was a mix of outrage, shock, and pleading.

Angel winced, "I'm sorry, but it was arranged awhile ago. It was when *I* was hitting hard times…" Angel sighed, running a hand through his hair. Spike couldn't remove the shocked expression from his face as he looked to Xander. The expression on Xander's face broke his heart; his entire being seemed to tremble and he had a lost puppy dog look in his eyes.

"You...you...he can't--" Xander turned to Spike, lip trembling. "He can't make you get married...can he?" he asked in a pleading whisper.

A hard glint appeared in Spike's eyes. "Not bloody likely!" Arms crossed over his chest, he glared at Angel. "Bugger of, wanker. You upset my Xanny...I don't like you!"

Eyes narrowed, Angel loomed over his Childe. "I am still your Sire, Spike. You *will* do as I tell you!"

Snarling, Spike shot up out of his seat. "Yeah, well I don't have to if you're dead, now do I?" he hissed angrily, baring his fangs at the other vampire. "Chip won't do a soddin' thing to stop me, 'cause *you're* not human!" He leapt, tackling Angel to the floor. "You fuckin' tosser, I'm not lettin' anyone take me away from Xander! Especially not 'cause you used me to pay off some debt. You don't own me!"

Struggling underneath the enraged vampire, Angel managed to roll them over, using his larger frame to pin Spike to the floor. "Spike! Listen to me! It wasn't like that." He struggled to find a way to explain the situation so Spike would feel a bit less, well, homicidal.

"Get out, Deadboy."

Angel looked up, receiving yet another shock. Xander stood above him, stake in hand, bloodthirsty statement in his eyes. "Xander? Now, just calm down. I--"

"Calm down? You want me to calm down?" Xander shoved Angel off of his lover, helping Spike stand up again. "You come in here, threaten Spike, and try to drag him off to get married to some...I don't even *know* what!...and you expect me to fucking well call *down*!?"

"Well, yes actually I do considering we're friends!"

"Deadboy, I don't think we were *ever* friends, just get out before I turn Spike loose again." Xander glared at the elder vampire before turning back to Spike. Angel sighed and left. As he got out the apartment, he gazed up and could see them through the window.

Spike had his arms wrapped around Xander's waist while Xander tried to smooth out the vampire visage. Angel sighed; this was just going to make things even harder.

~~~~~

"Angel!" Buffy gasped in surprise when the vampire showed up at Giles' door. "Is the world in trouble??"

"It might be," Angel waved her away. "I need your guys' help…"

"What is it? Of course we'll help." Giles commented, polishing his glasses.

Angel took an unneeded breath, "I need you to help me convince Spike to marry a…friend of mine's son." And he was met with dead silence.

~~~~~

"Spike? He's gone. You ok?"

Spike struggle to regain control of himself, collapsing into Xander's embrace. "God, pet. I just can't fuckin' believe it!"

"What was he talking about, Spike? About you getting married?"

Spike shrugged listlessly. "Dunno. He never said anything about it before. You know, before the soul." He glanced up into Xander's eyes a bit fearfully. "Luv? He...he's m'Sire. He can...he can force me to...do what he tells me to."

Xander growled softly. "Not while *I'm* alive, he can't!"

Spike tore out of his arms. "You don't understand!" he shouted. "He's my *Sire*! There was a time when he could have told me to take a walk in the sun, and I'd have bloody done it!"

Xander went after him, grabbing the vampire and wrapping his arms around him securely. "Not anymore," he stated firmly. "He *won't* take you from me, by God. I *swear*!"

Spike tilted his head up, smiling sadly. "Not much you can really do 'bout it, if the pouf's got his mind set."

Something flickered in Xander's eyes. "We'll see about that."

~~~~~

"E-Excuse me?" Giles replaced his glasses, coughing nervously. "Why in the world would you want Spike to marry *anyone*?"

"Ew, yeah. I mean, gross!" Buffy shuddered dramatically. "I mean, if someone married the bleached wonder, they'd have to actually *sleep* with him. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!"

Giles waved her back, and Buffy pouted, but reluctantly sat down. "Angel. Come in." He closed the door, waiting until Angel had made himself comfortable. "Now, would you care to explain exactly *why* Spike needs to get...married?"

"Yeah, and why we should help," Buffy piped in, unable to hold her tongue.

Angel leaned back, "I was having rough times and I met this really old vampire…He helped me out and I said I would do anything to pay him back." He ran a hand through his hair, "Turns out he had a son; not a legal son or anything but…one he bonded to. He asked for one of my Childer to become his concubine, or married…Penn was too cruel and Dru was too insane."

"And Spike was the one left!" Willow piped up happily, then looked kind of nauseated. "Oh…When would anyone think of Spike as the nicest or sanest? No offense, Angel, 'cause they're all really nice except for the…homicidal tendencies and the drinking of blood…"

"Why should we help?" Buffy asked again, twirling a gold lock of hair, "I mean…he's the Blond Blunder and he should duke it out with the other vamp."

"You don't understand, my friend is…hundreds of years old. Maybe thousands, older than the master. If he isn't happy, he can do damage. And…with the way he bragged about his son, he'd do anything for him."

"Angel?" Buffy frowned, looking confused. "Are you...afraid of this guy?" Her face hardened. "If he's evil, we can kill him."

"No!" Angel backed up a step, throwing a hand up as if to ward her off. "No," he repeated more calmly. "That would *not* be a good idea."

Rolling her eyes, Buffy slouched down in her chair. "Whatever." A thought struck her suddenly. "Woah, wait a sec. His son? And...Spike? They're both *guys*?" Buffy mimed puking, finger down her throat. "Oh, gross! I so did not need that mental image!"

"Buffy, do grow up a bit." Giles gave her a quelling look, and she subsided. Then Giles looked back at Angel. "That is a point, though. Seriously, does this...gentleman...know about Spike? Perhaps he wouldn't want his son to be wed to him."

"Oh, he knows. He probably knows just about everything there is to know."

Buffy clapped her hands, brightening "Hey, if this guy's so powerful, and his son is too, maybe he'll end up killing Spike, and we won't have him bugging us anymore." She smiled delightedly, relishing the thought of a Spikeless existence.

"Um, no," Angel shook his head. "His son isn't a vampire or really aggressive demon. He's a Waremonochuui Akuma; Fragile Demon," he translated.

Buffy furrowed her brow, "Then we kill his son."

"That would be ten times as bad." Angel broke in, eyes wide, "He loves his son more than his own life, they're bonded as family. We kill the son, the father will murder us all. At least if I refuse to let his son marry Spike, he'll probably just kill me."

"Well we aren't going to let that happen!" Buffy said fiercely. She hadn't been upset at the threat of the end of the world, oh no, but at the threat to her ex-boy toy's life. "We'll…go to his son and ask him to talk with daddy! Who's the son?"

"…I don't know."

"You know the guy and you never asked his son's name??" Giles looked shocked.

"It wasn't as if he invited me over for a cup of tea, Giles," Angel ground out.

"Well, I don't see why not," Giles muttered under his breath. In a louder voice, he added, "If you don't know who it is you're trying to foist your Childe off on, how are you going to convince Spike to go along with this?"

Angel groaned loudly, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. "I don't know! Why do you think I'm here?"

Buffy stood, tossing her hair. "Well, if there's not gonna be any slayage involved, you can count me out. I have better thing to do with my time than try to set Spike up." She gave another shudder at the mental image of Spike and a guy...hell, Spike and *anyone*! Then, grabbing up her bag of weapons, she flounced out.

The others watched her go. Shaking his head slightly, Angel shot Giles a pleading look. "Giles...please. I don't...I don't think I can do this on my own."

Giles hesitated. Glancing over at the witches, he saw them making shooing motions at the vampire. Taking the hint, he gave Angel a sharp nod. "Very well, we'll see what we can possibly come up with."

Angel sighed in relief. "Thanks. Really, thanks."

When Angel remained standing where he was, Giles cleared his throat. "Yes, well, we're going to need to do a bit of research." He blinked, staring meaningfully at Angel.

"Oh. Right." Angel backed to the door, leaving hastily.

Once he was sure the vampire had gone, Giles turned to Willow and Tara, quirking an eyebrow. "Well? What have your devious little minds come up with?"

Willow grinned. "He said Spike is engaged to one of the Waremonochuui Akuma. You don't think it could be..." she trailed off suggestively.

"There's no call to be making assumptions like that." Giles admonished with a frown. "If it was our place to know these things, I'm sure someone would have told us."

Willow nodded wisely. "Of course. But it'd be really big coincidence, you have to admit."

Tara grinned. "Besides, even if it were...you know..., we'd *still* have to figure out how to get Spike to marry him."

"She has a point. So I suggest we get busy."

~~~~~

Spike nuzzled Xander's throat and the boy sighed. "What's wrong, pet?"

"Mmm…Nothing, nothing," Xander commented, shaking his head. The glare Spike sent him stopped anymore protests. "It's just…Angel coming here and all that…reminds me of someone."

"Who, luv?"

"Just someone…" Xander looked at Spike, "Y'know…I don't really blame Angel for using you to pay off a debt. Odds are, he didn't know it was gonna be you."

"You saying you want me to *leave*?" Spike sort of growled and gripped Xander's shoulders.

Xander looked shocked, "What are you? Nuts?! I'm just saying I understand! I don't like, but I understand."

"What're we gonna do?" Spike leaned back against the couch, Xander snuggled on his chest.

"We could elope. It could be lots of fun. You, me, the open road…"

"Nice idea, but Angel would track me down. He's got people all over."

"Well damn the man. Er…Vamp."

Spike snorted. "He's been to hell already, think that's pretty much a moot point by now."

"Yeah." Xander sighed. "Can't we just stake him? I'd enjoy that."

"Nice idea as that is, luv, I think I'd rather be staking *you*."

Xander licked his lips, grinning. "Yeah? But...what if I don't wanna be staked. I'd have to...put up a fight."

"Mmmm." Spike nibbled at Xander's ear. "You know I love it when you struggle. Makes me go all tingly."

Xander squirmed a bit, rearranging himself so he was draped across the vampire's lap. "And should I scream? Beg for mercy?"

Groaning, Spike slid his hands up under Xander's shirt. "Love it when you beg, Xanny."

The boy nuzzled Spike's neck, nipping gently. Licking his way up to a delicate ear, he whispered, "Spike? Fuck me...please?"

With an aroused snarl, Spike's hands clenched, twisting and ripping the fabric covering Xander's upper body. Throwing the shredded bits of shirt to the floor, he attacked Xander's chest, homing in on erect nipples and sucking one into his cool mouth while he inched at the other.

Xander's head dropped back, baring his throat. He hands flew up to tangle in Spike's hair, holding the vampire tight. Unconsciously, he began to rock against the other man's body, pressing himself down onto Spike's denim-covered hardness.

"Keep that up and one of us might not last long," Spike commented, moving up to bite Xander's ear lobe.

"I want you in me now," Xander said in a fake sweet voice. Spike growled softly and tugged at Xander's pants. Xander shakily tried to get Spike's pants off. Their erections were free for they had been forgoing underwear. The vampire picked some of the oddest times to make love.

Xander gasped and moaned at the pressure. Spike flashed him a playful evil leer and ground their cocks together. Xander gasped louder and gripped Spike's shoulders. "Lube, lube, lube," the younger man gently chanted. Spike groped around and found a tube on the coffee table. This kind of told them why no one ever sat on the couch.

The pants were thrown off to the side in a heap. Spike lubed up his hand and slipped a finger into the tight passage. "No matter how many times we do it, you're still as tight as the first time."

"I'm special like that."

"Oh, you're special, all right." He crooked his finger, pulling a moan from Xander as his prostate was caressed.

"More. More, Spike."

Spike paused. "Y'know, that sounded like a demand. What happened to the begging?"

Xander whimpered as Spike made as if to withdraw his finger. "Pleeeease! Pleasepleaseplease! Want you, Spike. *Need* you. In me. Oh god,. please, do it Spike, fuck me, please!"

"Oh yeah, that's more like it." He moved, turning them so that Xander was on his back, half draped over the arm of the couch. Muscular legs wrapped around his waist, drawing him closer to Xander's heat. With a growl, Spike steadied the human's hips, then plunged inside the slick channel.

Xander howled as he was impaled, jerking his hips up and down to make Spike move inside him. A snarl in his ear stopped him, and his eyes flew open to meet a golden stare.

"Ah ah, pet. No moving, now. You begged for it, now you're gonna get it. So just be a good boy and take it."

*****
Part 2:

"Easy for you to say," Xander groaned.

"This hurts me as much as it hurts you." Spike laughed but moved slightly, just barely touching Xander's prostate. Xander writhed down at the sensation. Spike gently moved his hips in and out, grinning at Xander's pleading whimpers for more speed.

Xander grunted and twisted himself to get anymore of Spike's delicious cock in him. Spike pushed in until he was into the hilt. Xander moaned as Spike began a rhythm. At first it was slow and sweet but then it became pounding. Xander arched into it with little pants and mews.

Spike's hand slithered between them and griped Xander's cock firmly. He buried his face into Xander's neck, lapping at the flesh. Stroke, thrust, lick. It was tearing Xander apart with the sensations. He moaned with need and gazed into Spike's eyes. Spike knew what he had to do and he didn't care if it brought on any pain. His fangs sliced into Xander's neck and they both moaned in ecstasy.

Spike savored the unique flavor of his lover, the almost sweet blood trickling down his throat. It was like nothing he'd ever tasted before. He slammed himself in harder, barely even registering the hands clawing at his back, driving him onward.

Xander felt as if he were being consumed by Spike; sucked in, turned inside out, filled, completed. Pierced by fangs, cock...he submitted himself totally to his lover, merely holding on tight as Spike did with him as he wished.

With a groan, Spike removed his fangs from Xander's flesh, not wanting to relinquish this bond with Xander, but at the same time not wanting to hurt him irreparably. He grinned at Xander's whimper of protest, taking the boy's mind off his loss by stroking more firmly on his cock. With a wicked look on his face, he pulled back, shifting so Xander was practically lying in his lap, still impaled.

Xander was confused by this change in position, but wasn't going to argue so long as Spike was still fucking him. He did wonder what the vampire was up to, though...

Spike cocked his head, then bent forward, grateful that he had always been extremely flexible. He licked his lips, then opened wide, his mouth closing over the tip of Xander's cock.

"Fuck!" Xander's eyes bulged open in shock, and he howled, thrusting up into that cool, sucking mouth as far as he could. "Spike! You can't...how...? Holy fuck!" With one last gasping cry, Xander came, pouring himself down his lover's throat.

Spike swallowed Xander's offering, then released him, once more looming over the boy as he thrust hard. The passage holding him rippled convulsively with the aftershocks of Xander's orgasm, and Spike couldn't hold back. Pushing himself in as far as possible, he came, wave after wave of his essence flooding into Xander.

Shakily, Spike collapsed onto Xander, who let out a soft grunt. The vampire simply gave a satisfied purr, licking at the marks he'd left on the boy's throat.

It wasn't until then that Spike realized he had bitten Xander. And it hadn't set off the chip.

~~~~~

Angel sighed, lying back on the motel bed, eyes closed. Things were not supposed to be this hard. Spike really must have done a number on Xander to get him so protective of the vampire. And it appeared that the Scooby Gang had no clue the two were in a relationship. This could be very, very bad.

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out Zakari's number. Steeling himself, he picked up the phone and called. He had to tell the older vampire about the happenings, maybe save himself from a horrible painful death.

"Yes?" Zakari's voice came through.

"Zakari, I need to talk with you...It seems...uh, it seems Spike's already in a relationship at the moment and he's not really...happy to get out of it." Angel tried to word this very carefully.

"Well I suggest you get him out of it." Zakari's voice seemed a bit miffed. "I've got everything arranged and I will be out there soon to see Dasani. You'll have a few more days after I arrive, but they will be wed, Angelus."

"A-Arrive? You're...coming here? To...Sunnydale?" He stood and paced nervously, stretching the phone cord to its limits.

"Of course!" Zakari sounded rather surprised at Angel's reaction. "It's the Hellmouth, boy. Where else would a son of mine get married?"

"Oh, god...Buffy," Angel muttered, dreading the scene that would occur if his ex met his childe's soon to be father-in-law.

"Stuffy? Me? What are you implying, Angelus?" Zakari growled.

"No, not you! I was just...thinking out loud."

"Hmm. Well." Zakari cleared his throat loudly. "I just have a few business matters to wrap up here, and I'll be on my way. I'll most likely arrive in about a week." His voice lowered in warning. "And Angel? You'd better make *damn* sure that I find your childe willing...hell, *eager* to wed my son. Do. You. Understand?"

"Um, y-yes sir."

"Good." The voice turned pleasant. "Have a lovely night, Angelus."

Again, Angel found himself staring at a phone in shock as its dial tone began to ring shrilly. "This...is *not* good." He hung up the phone with a sigh. "Hell, if we all manage to get through this, *I'll* be happy to marry Dasani."

~~~~~

"Pet? Xander? You awake?" Spike demanded, eager to see if his love was all right.

"That was...heh." Xander stretched slowly. He seemed to recognize the concern in Spike's voice. "What's wrong?"

"I bit you," the vampire stared hard.

Xander nodded, "Yeah I guess you...Oh. *Oh!*" Xander chuckled nervously. "Yeah, well, I'm a Nummy Treat, as I have told you."

"Xander," Spike tried to explain to him in as rational voice as he could manage, "I...*bit*...you!"

"Um, I think we established that, yes." His dark eyes darted away from the vampire's, refusing to make contact.

Calmly, Spike continued. "It didn't hurt me, Xan."

Xander smiled happily. "Great! That's good! You're happy, I'm happy," he squirmed his naked body closer to Spike's, "why don't we be happy...together?"

"Xan, I--"

"Talk later. More sex now." He laved a nipple with his tongue, circling it around the hardened nub.

"Oh...hell yeah, pet."

~~~~~

"We could blackmail him."

Giles rolled his eyes. "Lovely suggestion, Willow, but for that, we would need actual blackmail *material*. Somehow, I doubt Spike has done much of anything that he's ashamed of."

"Oh." Willow pouted.

Tara hugged her supportively. "It was a good idea," she offered.

"Yes, good, but not something we could use." He was cut off by the phone ringing.

"Hello? Poe? Poe...Yes! Yes, this is Rupert Giles. My parents? Oh yes. Your child is doing just fine, I assure you. Really? Oh yes, it will be a pleasure." He hung up the phone.

"Who was it?" Willow asked eagerly.

"A guy named Poe?" Tara smiled.

"Yes," Giles smiled, "Xander's father is coming for a visit. He wishes to check on him."

"I always wanted to meet him." Willow commented with a smile.

"You never have?" Tara seemed surprised then blushed. "Right, I'm the only one who's actually seen him..."

"When's he gonna be here?"

"About four days, a week at the most."

"What's in a week?" The group turned at the chirpy voice.

"Bu-Buffy. Um, well, nothing important. Just...and old friend coming to visit." Giles avoided her gaze, flipping through one of the books in front of him.

"Ah." Buffy nodded. "So," she said, flopping down into a chair, "how's your setting up of Spike going? Not that I care." She wrinkled her nose.

"It's...going."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Look, if it's such a problem, why don't you just knock him out, tie him up, and store him in the closet until it's time for him to get hitched?'

"It...would probably be best if it didn't come down to that."

"Whatever." She shrugged. "Just a suggestion."

"Yes, well, we'll keep it in mind."

~~~~~

It was nearing a week since the day Angel had upset their lives by breaking the news of his childe's impending and unwanted marriage. Xander and Spike had so far managed to avoid any more meetings with Angel by the simple expedient of remaining firmly locked in their apartment. Of course, this left the two with nothing to do other than eat, sleep, and have sex. Unsurprisingly, neither had voiced any complaints about the arrangement.

Xander crawled out from under the covers, yawning with his tiredness. He looked back at the sleeping vampire and felt a smile light up his face. He was the luckiest guy in the world. Buffy wasn't lucky because her vamp had that pesky soul.

He walked to the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge to calm his stomach. He munched happily on a sandwich that had been made a few days ago. He blinked as someone knocked on the door. Normally no one ever visited. He quietly shut the door, concealing Spike.

He walked to the door, still eating. "Hello, welcome to Carnage Is Me, may I take your - Daddy?!"

"Well, I don't think that would be quite appropriate considering our relationship, but I will settle for a hug."

Xander beamed and pulled his father into the apartment, clasping him close. "God, Dad, I *missed* you!"

"You too, son. It's been too long."

"Yeah, well, I would have visited, but..." Xander rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me turn you over my knee, boy."

"Oi, *I'm* the only one gets to spank my Xan!"

Xander blushed as his father looked over his shoulder at the blonde who lounged in the doorway, surly expression on his face.

"Who's your...friend, son?"

Xander ignored Spike's mouthing of the word 'son' and replied with a bashful look, "That's Spike. He's, uh, he's..."

His father raised an eyebrow, sniffing the air. "You've been sleeping with him."

Xander gave a very nervous laugh as his blush deepened. "No, no, what makes you think that!? He's just this guy I kinda have to live with and we happen to share the same bed because I can only afford one and you're not buying one little bit of this, are you?"

"Dasani," he rolled his eyes, "do you think I would believe that?"

"Hey! I'm still here!" Spike glared, he recognized this person as another vampire. "Who the hell are you?"

Xander stepped between them to prevent any carnage. "Dad, Spike. Spike, this my dad Poe."

"Your dad never looked anything like that and, pet, he's a vampire." Spike and Poe were now glaring at Xander, who was trying to look impossibly small.

"Oh look at the time!" Xander looked at his wrist, although there was no timepiece. "Well I'll be off and all that," he began walking. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Dad! Let go of my ear!!"

~~~~~

Angel sat down carefully, giving the gang a hopeful look. "Well?"

Giles cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck before walking across the room, determinedly *not* looking at the vampire.

Frowning, Angel turned his pleading expression on the witches. His face fell when they gave him apologetic glances, shaking their heads. "Damn," he muttered. "*Now* what am I supposed to do?"

Giles snorted. "I suppose we could always go with Buffy's plan," he muttered facetiously.

Angel's head jerked around. "Buffy had a plan? What?"

"Succinctly put, she advised that render him unconscious, restrain him, and lock him in the closet."

"Lock him in the closet?"

"I believe that's what I said, yes." Giles removed his glasses to give them a quick polish.

"You're kidding right?" Angel shook his head. "That won't work." He sighed heavily, then brightened a bit. "Maybe if we use a cage instead?"

~~~~~

Poe fixed his son with a stern glare. "Xander, I think you have a bit of explaining to do."

"Explaining?" Xander chuckled nervously, edging away from his glowering lover. "Explain what? I can explain lots of things."

"Why you're sleeping with a vampire." Poe cocked his head.

"Well...what do you expect? You leave me alone, on the Hellmouth I might add, and you don't expect something like this? Come on, Dad, this is me we're talking about." Xander opted for the I-don't-deserve-love look that choked up those close to him.

"Nice try...not going to work, but nice try." His father chuckled, "I know you. You could have called and told me what was going on." He gestured to the still glaring Spike.

"Um, Spike, could you like...go fight evil bad things?" Xander suggested.

"Oh hell no, this bloke is not gonna-" Spike stopped at the puppy dog eyes. He growled at both them before stalking to the door. "I'll be back in an hour, got it?" He slammed the door shut.

"Dasani...." Poe started.

"Dad," Xander broke in, "you're always moving around and I haven't seen you in so long...how was I supposed to know you still cared?"

Poe sighed, "Come here, you foolish boy," he pulled his son into a hug. "You could have reached me at any time, my people would have transferred you. And I thought you needed time to grow up."

"I'm only a hundred," the boy commented wryly.

"Wasn't it just awhile ago you were saying you were all ready fifty?"

"Aw, Dad!" Xander relaxed into the hug, sighing deeply. "It's just...it got kinda lonely. I mean, sure I've Giles, and the girls. Anya for a while there." He smiled fondly in remembrance.

"Thought you might like that one. She was certainly eager for the job."

"But Spike...he's..." A goofy grin plastered itself on Xander's face.

~~~~~

Spike kicked a can across the street, muttering angrily to himself. "Go fight something, Spike," he mocked the words sarcastically. "Here, have a pint o' blood and go sit in the corner, there's a good puppy. What am I, some effin' pet?" He snarled, glowering at the sidewalk as he strode along.

He was too caught up in his furious ranting to notice the shadowed figure skulking in the alley he was walking by. Not until what felt like an aluminum baseball bat introduced itself to his skull.

Buffy stood over the unconscious vampire. She tossed the bat aside, then bent and hefted Spike's limp body. Moving as quickly as possible, she carried him back to Giles' magic shop. It was a testament to the mindset of Sunnydale that a young girl lugging around a body didn't even rate a curious glance or two.

Slightly out of breath, Buffy made her way into the back area where her training room was set up. She dumped the vampire into a cage that had been set up there, locking the door securely. "There," she panted. "Now they can't say I didn't help. All that's left is to get him hitched and out of town, and things will get back to what passes for normal around here." With a satisfied smile, she left the shop.

~~~~~

"And there was this time when--" Xander broke off, looking away from Poe toward the clock on the wall. He frowned. "That's strange," he mused. "Spike said he'd be back in an hour, and that was over two hours ago!"

"Do you really have to be so worried?" Poe asked. He wasn't exactly worried himself over his son's...lover, but that was because of the first shock.

"Yes," Xander commented in a stressed tone. "See, he has this chip and it kinda prevents him from hurting humans. The Hellmouth has a lot of bad humans!"

"A chip?" Poe allowed Xander to hurry to the door, following closely.

Xander nodded, "When he came back to town some commando freaks got to him." He looked around, "Where could he be?"

~~~~~

Spike groaned at the throbbing in his head. This wasn't a good headache; not from too much alcohol or too much sex meant bad. He opened his eyes slowly and touched the back of his head. He hissed as he felt something sticky touched his fingers. Some idiot had smashed his head in!

"Spike, this is for your own good," Angel commented, walking over to the cage.

"The bloody hell is going on?!"

*****