*****

Soft and wet, sometimes with gentle little kitten-licks, sometimes hard and rough. Both were good. Xander stretched, pushing his shoulders up against the pillow and stretching his arms out as far as he could. Relaxing, he snagged the papers someone had placed up in the corner of the bed, sighing as he scanned down half the page. There it was, part three, f. That's where he'd fallen asleep.

The wet suction was removed and he heard squishy noises as he turned on the light and tried to get his head back into it the complex language before him. Writing and proofing contracts was not his forte.

He gasped as something slippery and so very tight encased him, sliding down his length to nestle soft skin against his own crinkly curls. A pause and then it slid back up, and down, and up. . . The rhythm was moderately fast, and Xander felt his blood boiling.

"This isn't help me concentrate, you know."

There was no sound, but the rhythm changed to something much slower and gentler. He felt legs near his hips and thighs shift, settling down and allowing more leverage and a deeper angle. Strong muscles clamped down, making the already torturous ride even worse.

Or was that better?

Xander began to gasp, clutching the papers hard enough that he was sure they were going to be a crinkled mess whenever he was finally done. Good thing this was a copy. "That. . . isn't helping. . . either, oh gods!" His hips bucked up into that yielding flesh, grabbing at the sheets to give himself leverage. "Faster!" he gasped out, trying to show with is own body the pace he needed.

Immediately, the bed began quake as its occupants jerked and bounced to a punishing speed. "Better," he managed just before he arched his back so that his weight rested on his heels and his head, a scream choking in his throat as he released.

Moaning, he sank back into the bed, unable to fight the post-coital lassitude. Snuggling down deeper, he tried to figure out what the black beetle-like letters meant on the wrinkled papers. It wasn't working, but it was fun trying. Like finding shapes in clouds.

Once his breathing calmed, that snug tightness was slowly removed. The wetness returned, soft licks cleaning up any evidence of the past few minutes. Once shiny and clean, a hand pulled up his silk black boxers, tucking him back in. Then there were the sounds of skin on cotton and the bed dipped and shook.

Xander let the papers drop when his door was firmly shut. He could hear the sounds of someone puttering around in the kitchen, and he knew within the forty five minutes it would take him to get up and get dressed, he'd find coffee and breakfast waiting.

It was nice. He'd never had someone so focused on whatever he wanted. His pleasure always came first, whether that was establishing a morning blow-job, or learning how to cook the meals he liked best, or doing the dishes and the laundry, things Xander absolutely hated to do. It was occasionally smothering, but once Xander had explained thatmeaning he screamed and ranted for an hourchanges had been made. Now it really was only occasionally smothering, and usually only when one of them needed it.

Shaking off his sleepiness, Xander finished reading the page and even got a second one in, scowling at the stupidity before him. Contracts were nightmares, no matter how many times he had to go over the damned things. Written by fyarl demons on acida particularly stupid fyarl, which was saying a lot given that particular species.

Showered and dressed, he wandered over to the kitchen. Eggs, today, with his toast lightly buttered and his coffee creamed and sugared the way he liked. He reached over absently to kiss the cookthat's what it said to do on the apronand began eating. "This is delicious," he complimented, enjoying the spicy edge the basil and cilantro made. Eating was always a delight in his apartment; he never knew what he'd be getting next.

"I've got only half a day todaywe're still waiting for the rest of that shipment, so meet you over by the magic box?" He waited for the expected nod, washing the dishes himself that morning. He ignored the small exclamation, as well as the tug on his sleeve. "Leave it, okay? I don't mind doing it. I want to spoil you, for a change."

It wouldn't be that simple, he could tell by the carefully neutral expression on his lover's face. He knew, by now, that it was hiding shocked hurt, and the deep-seated belief that Xander had to be upset about something.

Which was true.

Not for the reasons he knew his lover would immediately begin cataloguing, but Xander was upset. He gave his lover another kiss, feeling one of the reasons as he pressed his body against the familiar one before him. It wasn't bad, not really. . . but it was indicative of the problem.

And Xander had no idea what to do about it.

***********

It dwelled on his mind the whole day at work, even when he met with the clients and their lawyers to go over the contract. Xander's bosses were decent people, who ran a professional operation. If they promised completion on a certain date, then it would be completed on a certain date. The flip side was, they had to be very careful about what their promises were, so not to get into trouble.

"Hey, Alex!" Xander paused and allowed Enrique, one of his few work friends, to catch up with him. "Dig the suit. Meeting with the Hoffman's again?"

He grimaced ostentatiously. Enrique loved a good show. "I will never understand people sometimes! They want their building up by April. Okay, fine, but it's not possible! Even if we haul ass and work a lot of overtimewhich will cost themit's almost winter. Yes, we're in California so we don't exactly have lots of snow and wind, but it's always slower in winter! And then they say that they have two other companies who are promising to get it done by April, except I know they won't be able toand it won't be as good as ours will be."

Enrique laughed, clapping Xander on the backafter surreptitiously wiping his hands to make sure they were clean. "Alex, man, don't worry about. We'll either get the job, or they'll get screwed. No big deal."

True, but only because they had jobs lined up for the next few years, so they didn't need to hunt them down like some companies did. "Yeah, but I like the Hoffman's. I want to cut them a break."

"Too soft-hearted, man. So how's home? You've got time off soon, right?"

"Yeah, next week." Xander studiously did not mention how home was going. He wasn't sure he could explain it, anyway. It wasn't that it was badfar from it. It just wasn't. . . right. "Four long weeks with my honey and no interruptions." He gave Enrique a glare as they headed towards Xander's trailer-office. "So do not have emergencies here, okay? I don't care if the whole thing comes crashing down. Call Richard!"

Enrique laughed again, leaning against the doorframe while Xander gathered up his belongings. "You take care, okay? You're a good boss. Must be cause you're so young!"

Xander laughed along with his friend. Enrique was forty five, and had been in the construction business longer than Xander had been alive. He had been the one to suggest to Xander's bosses that they might try the boy out in foreman position, and had helped keep the peace when several older, more experienced employees objected to having a twenty year old tell them what to do.

Saws whined, cutting off any attempts at conversation and Enrique nodded before heading off. Xander waved, throwing on his coat and turning off the lights. Heading towards the main office, he found Cindy in the coffee room.

"Hey, Kid," she greeted cheerfully. "Everything all squared away?" At his nod, she headed over to her desk, picking up a slip of paper. "Your bonus, and don't spend it all in one place. Get a piece of candy with that soda pop."

He grinned at her, bowing over the slip. "And forget about your bonbons? Never!"

The executive secretaryaka, the boss of everyone in the entire companygrinned a little wider. "I don't need bonbons," she said sternly, gesturing to her plump physique. "That sweety of yours, however, definitely needs fattening up. Get some good chocolate! And you will definitely go to the beach!"

Xander grinned. "Riiiight, so I can deal with the moaning, and the whining, and the scratching, and the glares when we both burn. Thanks, Cindy, but I like being able to sleep at night." Cindy laughed and gave him a peck on the cheek. He hugged her back, calling over to Richard that he was leaving. A muffled goodbye was his only response, but that was expected. Richard was doing the quarterly taxes, which meant he saw the coffee and the food Cindy dropped in front of him, nothing else.

Whistling cheerfully, he made his way off the site and over to the parking lot. His beautiful babysleek, black, and so new it still had that new car smellthe convertible chirped at him when he thumbed the unlock button on his key-chain. It was totally inappropriate and probably more expensive than he could really afford, but he'd fallen in love at first sight, and no one had been able to talk him out of buying it.

The engine purred to life, making Xander grin. There had been quite a bit of purring when Xander had first brought his baby home for christening. And squealing and moaning and laughing hystericallyalthough the last had been when he showed up at the Magic Box the first time, and Buffy had accused him straight-faced of stealing it.

Humming along with the music, he tried hard not to let go of his good mood. Because he wasn't unhappy at home, he wasn't. He was worried and concerned, but definitely not angry or upset. At least, not for himself.

"Hello, ladies!" he called cheerfully as the bell rang above his head. Anya gave him peck on the cheek before helping a customer that followed on Xander's heels. Tara and Willow waved from the table where they were studying. Homework, it looked like, and not magic, for once. Which was good.

"Hey, Xander. How was work today?"

"Good, good." He hopped up onto the counter, grinning down on his women. Well, not all of them, but he could hear the thump coming from the back room and knew the other two would be in soon.

"Well?" Willow folded her arms and glared up at him, doing a decent job of suppressing the grin that was lurking behind her eyes.

Tara laughed, the deep, mellow sound melting the stern expression instantly. "You aren't his mother, Willow. He'll tell us when he wants to." Then she gave him that sideways grin that he'd fallen in love with, making him melt as quickly as Willow had. They'd worked so hard to get her comfortable among them. "Won't you, Xander?"

"Won't Xander what?" Buffy threw herself onto the love seat in the corner, grinning and sweaty. A very sore looking Dawn and a puffing Giles trailed her, immediately looking for ice and ace-bandages. Xander jumped up to help, laughing at Dawn's pathetic 'whimpers'. "Oh, quit complaining, you big baby. You asked for training to help me, and I was holding back!"

Giles mopped his face, raising an eyebrow over the towel. "That, my dear Buffy, was not holding back. Even Spike had trouble!"

Moving back to the counter, Xander found a can of soda and a candy bar waiting for him, yet no evidence of the one who had left it. Stifling his grumbles, he forced himself to look blithesome.

"He's the biggest baby of the three of you. Who knew a vampire could be so sensitive? I really didn't hit him that hard!" There was a note of concern in the Slayer's flippant voice, her eyes darting around the room sheepishly. Despite the easy relationship vampire and vampire slayer now shared, there were still occasional problemsalthough Buffy was really trying to curb her temper.

"Where is Spike?" Willow added when the vampire didn't immediately appear. He usually was right there beside Buffy, verbally sparring with her to the other's amusement. "Buffy, you didn't hurt him did you?"

Buffy looked even more sheepish, and just a touch guilty. "I may have kinda, um. . . kneed him."

"Buffy!" The censure in Tara's voice made the entire room start in surprise. She was talking more, but she was still hesitant about showing strong emotions. "You know better than to hurt him like that. He probably won't come out the rest of the day, now."

"No, I see him." Dawn leaned up against the wall, holding an ice pack to her upper thigh. "He's cleaning up the training room. I don't even think he's listening to us. Usually he's grinning when we talk about him."

"Especially if Buffy gets in trouble," Tara added.

"Hey! I didn't mean to, he just. . . we were just. . . oh, fiddlesticks. I should probably go apologize. It was just the perfect move, and when he dropped like I'd almost stakedhim. . ."

Dawn waved her off, grabbing her books from the table. "Later. I need help on this essay first, okay?"

"Essay? On what?" Willow and Buffy both perked up, although the former only wanted to help.

"Victorian England," Dawn replied with a cheeky grin. Waving goodbye, she disappeared into the training roomshutting the door behind her.

"So, is anyone else worried about Spike?" Willow slumped down in her seat, absently chewing on her pen, watching the door for some sign that she was being listened to. "It was okay for a while, but it's almost like he's been. . . disappearing."

Anya nodded. "I found him doing inventory downstairs, yesterday. This was good and helpful, but I hadn't asked him to do it. And when I went to talk to him about, he just handed me the paper and left."

"Not. . . exactly what I meant, but yeah. Like he's so focused on doing what he can for us, that he's stopped. . ."

"Being a person?" Buffy folded her arms across her chest, delicate brows wrinkled in concern. Which was a very good sign from the Slayerthe last of the scoobies to fully accept Spike into the group. "Yeah, I've noticed it. When I hit himand I didn't mean tohe went down hard, but he didn't say anything when he got up. It's why Dawn and you, Giles, didn't really see it. He just took it. When was the last time Spike took pain without bitching about it?"

"Or at least becoming more focused on ending it, yes, I see your point." Giles moved behind the counter, leaning forward. "I've been speaking Wesley lately. Yes, Wesley your former Watcher. He apparently has improved greatly, such that Angel Investigations is now run by him, and not Angel."

"I bet Angel took that so well," was Buffy's wry comment, but she silenced herself when Giles glared.

"Yes, well, there were several extraordinary circumstances. Not, I realize, that unusual with our line of work, but still. My point is that I've mentioned Spike's recent behavior to Wesley, who has mentioned it to Angel. Angel, it seems, has expressed an interest in Spike and would like to see him."

"See him? Don't they hate each other?"

Giles gave Willow a funny look. "I don't think they started out hating each other. And I believe Angel feels a kind of kinship to Spike, now. He doesn't have a soul, but if Spike wanted, this chip could be his conscienceand Angel knows first hand the kind of problems that can arise with that. He's offered to come up here, several times."

"You want him to go there, instead."

"Yes, Xander, I do. I think weall of us hereare part of his problem. He doesn't know how to deal with himself, so he's concentrating on dealing with things he does knowhow to take care of us. Spar with Buffy, help out at the store, help with the research and take care of Dawn. These are things he can do, and he's using them as an excuse to ignore the rest of his life."

"And Spike would use that routine as a way to fob Deadboy off, if he came here. Got it. So. Good thing I've got plenty of vacation time coming up."

"Xander! You were going to have a real break!"

He grinned at Willow's outraged expression. "Come on, Wills! What's more exciting then going to L.A.? I can go shopping with Cordy, check out all the museums, the movie tours, all the cool stuff. When that gets boring, I'll check up on the sister-branch of the Scoobies, make sure everything's running up to spec. And Deadboy can try and commune with Deadboy Jr."

"Then you agree there's a problem?"

Xander nodded, amusement dying. "Yeah. There's a problem."

Giles nodded, promising to make the arrangements. Nothing more was said, since Spike soon came in with a bitterly complaining Dawn. "But I don't need more research! The stuff you gave me is perfect!"

For one instant, it looked like Spike was going to argue with her. Then he deflated, shrugging and muttered, "It's your grade, bit." That's it. No snarky comments about little girls learning on their own two feet, nothing about how he was not something that could be cited with any kind of credibility, nothing even about how the information was probably wrong because he was probably lying to her. Nothing.

In light of the recent conversation, the lack of a response was glaring. Xander saw thoughtful expressions and knew they, like he, were trying to place the last time Spike had really acted like Spike. He himself couldn't come up with anything except 'after Adam'. Maybe the others were more successful. Hopefully. It would probably help Angel either way.

They had their usual meeting, quietly discussing the latest problems, and then Spike and Buffy went out patrolling again. It had been fairly quiet recently, but that could mean nothing or everything; Giles had counseled diligence and surprisingly not even Buffy had argued. Xander privately thought she was still too preoccupied with Spike to care.

Once they were gone, Giles closeted himself in the office while Xander waited. He wanted this done now. If the folks in LA were agreeable, he'd leave tomorrow. Spike would probably argue and whinealthough maybe he wouldn't. Xander thought back over the last few weeks and came to the unhappy conclusion that he wouldn't do all the 'Spike' things Xander expected him to. He'd just. . . look sad, and hurt, and probably not talk for a long time.

"Anya? Do you have any idea what's wrong with Spike?" Willow and Tara had left not long after Buffy, going to sit with Dawn until patrol was finished, so Xander didn't mind asking the question. It would have been. . . iffy, in front of his friends.

Anya continued checking money from the register, although her Dance of Capitalist Superiority was must less enthusiastic and ended far quicker than normal. "No. Not really."

"But you have a guess." They hadn't dated for all that time with Xander learning how to read the former demon. "Can I hear it?"

She gave him a long look, which told him more completely just how serious this was. Anya was the only person Spike really couldn't get along with, because Anya was the only person who would always say the one thing Spike didn't want said. So if Anya was worried and hesitant, that meant Spike wouldn't like itand it was probably very important.

"I don't think I can talk about this. . ."

"Ahn, please. Whatever is going on with Spike, it's hurting him. He's not happy and. . ."

She sighed, closing the drawer and leaning on it. Her face was sad, and her eyes full of too many years. "That's the problem. He is happy, in a way. Remember how happy I was when Giles first hired me? How I had a place in the world? Caring for all of us is Spike's place in the world."

He nodded, but then he'd known that all along. "I get that, Ahn, I do. But he isn't happy. He's not unhappy, but I think that's because he's ignoring the problem, not because he's content with his life. Something's wrong."

"Yes, but I can't tell you what it is, Xander. I wouldn't know how to explain it." Looking far too solemn, she finished her clean up and went to check on Giles.

Xander let her, knowing he wouldn't get anything more out of her. Anya had finally learned the art of keeping secrets, and he couldn't really be upset with her for learning something that had been so important to both of them. He just wished he knew what was wrong.

"Good news, Xander!" Giles exclaimed with obvious relief as he entered the shop proper again. "Angel and Wesley both think it's a very good idea for you two to come down, and they'll have everything set up."

Xander nodded, glancing out to the darkened streets. "I better pack," he said absently. "I want to leave as soon as Spike's done patrolling."

"What, tonight?"

"It has to be." Standing, Xander gathered his things and moved to the door. "He can't have time to think about this."

"Yes, but surely you can just tell him you're planning a surprise for your vacation."

"Oh, I will bebut it still has to be tonight."

"Well. . . I suppose you know best in this. Do keep in touch. And try to enjoy yourself at least some of the time. You do deserve this break."

Xander smiled and waved goodbye before hurrying home. He frantically packed everything he could think of, ransacking the apartment in his haste. Three bags were packed, the apartment was burglar-proofed, and Xander settled down on the sofa.

He woke to strong hands kneading his shoulders and neck, easing him from his cramped position to a more relaxed one on the sofa. "Whano, stop it!"

Instantly, the hands were removed and he could feel the body behind him take a few steps back. His stomach twisted. Turning, he tried to apologize for his abrupt behavior. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to you aren't going to accept any kind of explanation, are you?"

The comment was met with downcast silence.

Sighing, he got up and began shouldering the bags. "Come on. Got a couple of stops to make, and then we're leaving." The knot in his stomach grew tighter when there wasn't even a casual question about their destination, or abrupt departure. Just instant obedience, taking the last bag Xander was struggling with and following him down to the car.

He fumed at the reaction, but he had no choice but to use it.

Three stops, and they were on the road. There were still no questions as to where they were going, why, or if anyone knew. Xander didn't bother to offer explanations, instead issuing a curt order to relax and get some sleep. Obedience was instant once againhe could tell by the breathing patterns.

Pillowing his lover's head in his lap, Xander stroked the surprisingly soft hair absently as he drove. "What am I going to do with you, Spike?" he whispered into the wind. "How am I going to fix you?"

The wind whistled it's response, but Xander couldn't understand it.

*****
Part 2:

Spike was still sleeping when they pulled up in front of the Hyperion, and Xander was loath to wake him. The vibrations from the car nd Xander's familiar caress had relaxed the vampire in a way Xander couldn't remember seeing in a long time.

Letting the car idle, Xander watched as streaks of sunrise painted the sky in pinks and greys. Spike looked so much younger when sleeping. Like a boy of only twenty four years, not the man who had lived for over a century. Not the man who had taken care of him, not all that long ago.

Sighing, Xander turned off the car. Spike instantly started awake, pushing himself up and glancing wildly around. When he realized that it had only been the car, he lost some of the battle-tensionbut he didn't relax. "Sorry," he muttered, before hurrying to the trunk to pick up their suitcases. Xander scowled at the steering wheelif he went back to help, Spike would just look pathetic at him.

"Xan?" Spike hovered by the front door, looking anxious. "Sunrise." That was it. Xander could almost hear the comments Spike should have been saying, but instead all he'd really heard was a tactfulalmost obsequiousreminder.

"Yeah. Hopefully they've got our rooms set up."

He wondered if Spike knew where they were, yet. The directions had been easy to follow and cogentwhich mean Cordelia had not been the one to give themand the lack of Xander's usual method of finding directionslots of swearing, bitching, tearing maps and eventually asking random people on the streethadn't given Spike a lot to go on. The fact that Angel's new base of operations still looked like a hotel, if rather run down and unkempt, only offered more distractions.

He dreaded his vampire's reaction.

"Hello?" Xander wandered around the lobby, which was much nicer than the exterior suggested, telling Spike to drop their bags on a round, grey, plushy seat in the center of the room. "Anybody home?"

He ambled about, a bleached-blonde shadow on his heels, absently examining as he went. The desks looked well lived in, the computer bearing obvious marks that a woman used itnail polish on the keyboard was a dead giveawaypapers and folders scattered around the small area behind the main counter. He dinged the bell, guessing that it was futile.

"Oh, hello!"

He and Spike both whirled, instincts already balancing their weight and bringing clenched fists up. A young woman took a nervous half-step back, clutching the collar of her shirt in surprise.

"A-are you X-X-X"

"Xander? Yeah." It was hard not to take pity on this one. She looked like Dawn, with her long brown hair, scrunched up face and glasses, and acted like Taraa combination guaranteed to make both men fall instantly in love with her. "Sorry about that," he gestured vaguely with his still-fisted hand, "you just startled us."

"Oh! I'm s-sorry," she stuttered, nervously grinning. "I was sleepin' upstairs, and I didn't hear ya'll come in, is all. I'm supposed to show you your rooms. Wes said he thought ya'll might be comin' tonight. They had to go out, b-but they should be back soon. Oh, and I'm Fred. Short for Winifred."

Xander smiled as encouragingly as he could. He could feel Spike's curious gaze, carefully hidden so not to startle the little one. "Thanks. Can we see them now? We're both kinda beat. Long day."

"Sure. Everyone'll be sleepin' when they get back, anyway, so don't worry about anything before noon-time." She had a tumbling, jerky way of speaking like was oddly soothing in her little-girl's voice. "This way, please."

Spike had grabbed the bags before Xander took even a stepalthough that was probably to stop Fred, this time, and not Xander. They were led to a room halfway down the hallway, which had Xander nodding approvingly. It was far enough away that if Spike wanted to sleep during the day, he wouldn't be disturbed by the noise from downstairsbut if there was trouble, a shout would be sufficient to get help.

Living on the Hellmouth had taught Xander to be aware of all kinds of things.

They were shown two rooms, although he was fairly certain that was just a formality and an attempt at being polite. There was something in Fred's eyes that said she, at least, knew they'd be sharing a bed. And they would be, if he wanted Spike to sleep at all.

"Thanks." He waited until Spike was inside the bigger of the two rooms, putting their things away and checking the room over. "It was nice meeting you, Winifred."

"Oh, please call me Fred," she burbled at him, twisting her hands into anxious knots. "Everyone does, even though it's a boy's name, because it really is my name. Winifred sounds so silly, y'know? I meanwell, you two get some sleep. You had a long drive, and tomorrow'll be pretty busy. You wanted to take one of those Hollywood tours, right? They're still trying to get me to go."

The combination of fear and wistfulness in her eyes did him in. "How about you come with me, then? I hate going by myself, and I can't drag Spike to things like that."

She blinked at him, innocent surprise telling Xander he needed to have a long conversation with Angel. "Really? Youyou want me t' come? With you?"

He made himself look as goofy as possible, hoping it would put her at ease. "Sure. Like I said, I'd like the company. You won't get in trouble withwith your boss?"

"Oh, no! He'd be so happy for me!" Her grin was blinding, and he decided maybe he didn't need to yell at Angel. Definitely give some pointers on technique, though. "I'd love to go with you!"

"Great! It's a date then!" His grin got wider as Fred glanced at the partially open door and gave Xander a sly look. He laughed, making sure that she knew he wasn't laughing at her. "Now, I think I need to say good night. I'm beat."

"Good night, Xander. It was good to meet you. Good night, Spike!" she called into the room, waving as she disappeared back towards the lobby. Chuckling, Xander entered the room Spike had chosen.

It was a fairly standard looking hotel room, although obviously recently prepared. Spike had already put away their things and set up the room the way they liked it. A black pillar candle burned on the nightstand, filling the room with the smell of sandalwood. Spike was leaning against the windowsill, black out curtains pushed to one side so he could look out the southern facing window.

It was times like this he was grateful he was slightly bigger than Spike, letting him rest his chin on the vampire's shoulder as he hugged the slim body back toward his own. "Hey," he said quietly while wrapping his arms around a narrow waist. "You okay?"

Spike let his head fall back on Xander's shoulder, snuggling deeper into the human's hold. "We're in LA?"

"Yeah. Thought it could be fun." Spike kept his eyes on the lightening skyhe was fascinated by sunrise and sunset, watching as much as he could without incurring direct sunlight. "You mind?"

"'Course not." But the answer lacked the emotion Xander expected, whether it was derision or outrage. "You should sleep, Xan. You've been up since seven."

"You telling me you aren't tired, too?"

Shoulders shrugged imperceptibly, despite Xander's hold on Spike's body. "I napped. I'm good."

"Yeah, you are. Come show me how good you are."

That got a response, Spike twisting around to stare at Xander in shocked surprise. "WhXan, here?"

"Why not. No one around but Fred, and I'm sure she won't be able to hear us."

"Yeah, but. . ." It was a struggle for him to argue, Xander could see that. The wild-eyed look of panic wasn't a good thing, either. "Xan"

Sighing, Xander did the only thing he could do when Spike was like thishe kissed him. Long and hard, it lasted through the move from the window to the bed. Quickly stripping, Xander kissed and licked his way down Spike's stomach and then past the low-hanging balls. Spike was incredibly sensitive on his perineum, so Xander spent a good five minutes licking and sucking on that small piece of skin.

When Spike started to moan and gasp, Xander pushed slim white legs up higher so that Spike's weight was resting on his shoulders and neck, and he began rimming Spike in earnest. He grinned, despite his tongue pushed far into Spike's body, knowing what Spike was expecting.

Once Spike was relaxed and more openwhich took a while, since vampires always returned to the state they'd be in when they were turned, which meant virgin for SpikeXander sucked on two fingers and began pumping them between tight, white cheeks.

"Xan, please," Spike gasped out, bucking back against Xander's hand. "Want you."

"You've got me. Always." Spike started panting, a sure sign that he was lost in what his lover was doing to him. Good. Repositioning him flat against the bed, Xander worked his mouth for a moment, and then swooped down onto Spike's cock.

"Ahhh! Please, Xan, please pleasewant you in me!"

Xander continued to lick and suck, ignoring his lover's pleas. He had a plan and nothing, not even begging, was going to get him to change it. While Spike was lost in the dual ecstasy of a warm, human mouth and warm, human fingers, Xander used his free hand to find and open the lube he'd grabbed before they'd hit the bed. He quickly prepared himself, grateful that he had practice doing this one handed.

Ready, he withdrew completely from Spike, rewarded by a deep, longing moan. "Xander, please."

"Don't worry, I've got you." He positioned himself, and then slowly sat down.

"Whno!" Xander was ready for it, pushing Spike back down and holding him there while he adjusted. Spike was big, and no matter how many times Xander took him in, it still required a moment or two. Big, round eyes stared up at him in the faint light, head still occasionally shaking in denial. "Xan, you don'tyou don't have to do this. Please, just fuck me."

"I am fucking you, Spike." He rolled his hips, making them both throw their heads back to moan.

"But"

"When was the last time you came?" The furtive look before a mask of innocent curiosity covered it told Xander all he needed to know. "You aren't jacking off while I'm at work?"

"Of course not!" Spike said, totally outraged at the mere question. "You know Ihell."

Xander rolled, lifting up slightly before settling again. He had to keep Spike distractedthe trick was not distracting himself at the same time. "So, if you won't without me. . ." he flexed and squeezed, trying very hard to ignore the way his prostate sparked at the pressure, "that means a week, Spike. What's wrong? Wasn't it good?"

Spike shot up, grabbing Xander's hips and pulling him tight. "You are the best I've bloody ever had," he said in a low, intense voice. "Don't you ever doubt that!" Eyes the color of midnight blue stared at him, entreating and heartfelt.

Xander kissed Spike, reassured by the color changethey were only that dark blue when Spike was being totally serious. "They why won't you come?"

Spike sank back down, turning his head so he could see the partially open window. "Can't."

Xander rolled in a circle again, knowing how much Spike loved that. "Why not? Is it"

"No!" He felt Spike thrust up just the tiniest bit, rubbing Xander in the best ways. "No, I. . . neprmon."

Huh? Heoh. That was. . . unexpected. Xander slowly slid up and down, varying angles and speeds until he found one he liked. Still thinking about what Spike had said. It wasn't so much what Spike now neededthat was something he was going to discuss at length with Angel and a variety of written sourcesbut that Spike hadn't had any intention of telling Xander. Despite the fact that they led very active sex lives and that after a week Spike's erection had been turning black, Spike had still had no intention of telling his lover what he needed.

Xander was hurt, but he buried that deeply. Spike would go catatonic if he thought he was hurting the human. Instead he just picked up the pace and leaned forward so that his chest rubbed up against Spike's. He loved the feel of pebble-hard nipples scraping along his, and the way his warmth and Spike's coolness enveloped his own erection.

"Harder, Spike!" he gasped out, knowing that the vampire was holding back. Gradually, Spike began meeting Xander's downward thrusts with his own upward ones, the shock of it making Xander moan louder. He loved it when Spike was forceful with him, loved the coiled power that could break him in twoand never would. "God, Spike, you feel so good in me."

Spike could only moan his response, incoherent after a week of pleasuring Xander without taking any for himself. Which was exactly what Xander wanted. Grinning wickedly, he waited until he was right on the edge. "Cum for me," he whispered, leaning forward and biting hard on the vampire's bloodless jugular.

With a scream, Spike arched up and released himself deeply into Xander, who was already coming from the sound of Spike's pleasure. They both froze in their respective positions, fire burning through their skins as they took pleasure in each other.

This was what he had missed, Xander thought happily as he lifted up and slithered into Spike's cool arms. Still panting, he licked at the teeth marks deep in Spike's flesh. Spike moaned in pleasure, hardening instantly.

"Again?" Xander asked teasingly. "You want more?"

"Noyesgod, Xa" But Xander had just chuckled, whispered the same thing as before, and bit down hard enough that he broke the skin. Spike bucked and shook, clutching Xander hard enough that he'd have finger-shaped bruises the next morning. He didn't mindit wouldn't be the first or last time that had happened.

He was careful not to swallow any of the bloodvampire blood affected humans like speed, but without the crash afterwards. Beside, he wanted to sleep after this. Once it had stopped bleeding, Xander again licked at the wounds he'd made. "You taste so good, Spike. Can I taste you?"

"God, Xander. . ."

Semen from both of them was pooled on Spike's stomach, coating Spike's cock and balls. Grinning, Xander slowly began to clean up every drop. They tasted incredibly mixed together, human salt mixed with vampire copper. Sometimes he wished he could live on this mixture alone, because nothing else could ever compete for sheer deliciousness. Not even chocolate!

Spike was moaning again, thrashing his head back and forth as he forced his torso totally still under that warm, wet tongue. Still grinning, Xander continued his way down, skipping the once again hard erection to lap at the nearly hairless balls. For some reason, Spike had almost no hair anywhere except his head. It had fascinated Xander for weeks, feeling that silky smooth skin rub up against his own.

Once his balls were clean, Xander gave in to the pleading from the top of the bed and swung his lower half up to Spike's waiting mouth. "Thank you," he heard breathed as a familiar tongue and powerful suction began to work him. He moaned as he took Spike into his mouth, which made Spike moan against him, a familiar cycle making it that much better.

When Xander felt himself get close again, he pulled off and looked back between his legs. "I wanna drink you," he whispered seductively. Spike shivered and moaned, sucking Xander down to the root. "I want you to fill me. Don't want to eat anything else ever again, so long as I have you inside me." Spike was thrusting against nothing now, eyes tightly closed as he tried to find the friction Xander was denying him. "Let me drink you, Spike, please? Let me."

Swooping down, he deep throated Spike's cock, scraping his teeth down the length of it before bitingvery gentlyas he swallowed.

Spike's body froze, not a single sound vibrating against Xander as he came, and came, and came until Xander thought he really was trying to fill him up. He swallowed it all, savoring the copper-and-cream taste of his vampire, and licking the softening member clean once Spike finally relaxed.

At least, that's what he tried to do. He was humming as he cleaned, something he knew Spike enjoyed, when he felt a throat tighten around the head of his dick, and needle-sharp teeth prick against the sensitive skin at the top of his balls.

He howled, pushing himself deeper into the willing throat, cutting himself just a little before the teeth became flat and blunt again. Spike's hands stroked his buttocks as he swallowed his favorite mixed drinkXander-blood and Xander-cum.

It took a few minutes for them both to recover.

Xander barely had enough energy to finish his task, while Spike did the same. He felt that rough-soft tongue swipe over the small cuts until they were closed, a rumbling sound vibrating through his entire body.

"That was incredible," he murmured as the vampire got him turned around and pulled him in close. Xander managed to grab the blankets and yank them up, snuggling down into the slowly warming body beside him. "You're incredible."

Spike nuzzled his ear, kissing the skin below it. "Go to sleep, Xan. You're exhausted."

"Yeah. I still love you."

The purring became even stronger, which was the only answer he ever needed.

*****