Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I do not.

Notes: I haven't written in ages. This is my half-hearted attempt to get back on the horse. I think it's going to take a lot more than this before I'm writing again, but it's a start.
Also, I haven't actually seen 'Fool for Love' since I live in Australia, or read the transcript. So my interpretation of the ep is purely by hearsay and spoilers. If it's dodgy, call it AU let me know and let it go.

"You're upset because you fell for Buffy?!?" Xander exclaimed in suprise.

The boy had come across him in the alley after Buffy had left him and had taken the vamp back to his crypt before daylight came. The two of them were sitting on Spike's worn out old couch. It had taken hours, but Xander had finally managed to wheedle what had upset the Spike out of the blonde vampire.

Spike scowled at him. "Yeah. What of it, mate?"

"I just mean - so? I mean everyone falls for Buffy. Cordy and I worked out that it was some kind of Slayer-related charisma that eventuallym wears off. I even fell for her, even though..." Xander trailed off.

He was avoiding admitting something. "Even though what?" Spike picked him up on it.

"Well, she's.." Xander bumbled, "ah..she's not exactly my type."

Spike stared at the boy in amzaement. "She's not exactly your type? That's your bloody fantastic reason?" He shook his head. "What the bloody hell is your type?? C'mon, whelp, you could've at least come up with a half-convincing lie. I'm hurting here!" Spike finished making it clear that he was not.

Xander raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Sure you are, Spike," he replied blandly, making it obvious he didn't believe a word of it.

"See? I knew you'd understand, pet. Feel my pain. Now what's this your type business?"

Xander blushed again. "She's a...well, she's a girl." He managed to get out.

Spike rolled his eyes. "How bloody observant of you, pet. Get to the point, will ya?"

Xander blushed even harder. "I don't...like girls."

Spike remained oblivious. "Well neither do I, but I'd still fuck 'em..." a sudden bout of realisation seemed to come over the vamp. "Ohh! You're a poof!"

"I wouldn't put it exactly like that but I-" Xander stuttered, only to be cut off by Spike's crowing.

"The whelp's a poof! I knew you didn't bat for the home team! Ever since I saw you dancing at the Bronze with the Slayer-"

"Wait a minute-" Xander tried to cut into the vampire's derisive rampage.

"-You were waay too puppy-dog-choclate-eyes-pat-me-pretty-please to be straight! I should've turned you when Angel offered you to me as a snack. I could've done with a toy, what with Dru being too weak to play."

Xander hmphed to himself. "Well anyway, the point is that --" Wait. Toy? "Toy? You wanted me as a toy?"

"Yeah, you know, pet, a toy. To play with. While naked." Spike explained to the boy as if talking to a child.

Xander spluttered. "You want to play with me?"

"Why are you acting all shocked, pet? You're the poof, remember," Spike reminded him dryly.

"Well, uh..." Xander had no answer for that. "So are you!" he finished finally - and lamely.

Spike quirked his eyebrows briefly. "Me? 'Fraid not, pet. Just your regular vamp. I don't play on either team, I just like to swing my bat."

Xander winced. "Uh, thanks for the imagery, Spike."

"Anytime," Spike replied obligingly. "So you're a poof," he began again.

Xander sighed. "I thought we'd already covered that."

"We had, pet," Spike grinned evily. "I just wanted to recap."

Xander buried his face in his hands. 'This is going to be a long night,' he thought.

"I don't know why I told you," he mumbled into his hands. "Now you're just going to make my life hell, after you've finished humilating me in front of all my friends."

Spike put a pseudo-concillatory arm around the boy's shoulders. "Now, why would you think I'd do a thing like that, pet?" he asked, feigning genuine concern. He slapped himself on the forehead and grinned wickedly - even wider than before, if such a thing was possible. "Oh, that's right!" he remined himself. "Because I would!"

Unexpectedly, Xander, with his face still buried in his hands, began to cry .

Spike's grin faded. He hadn't really meant to upset the boy. He'd just been having a bit of fun. He couldn't help himself. Xander just looked so cute when he was nervous and vulnerable. He had already known the boy was gay, almost since he'd met him. That was part of the reason he'd wanted to turn him for so long.

If it hadn't been for the fact Angel would've killed him in an instant if he had hurt any of the Slayer's friends and Angelus would've hogged the boy to himself and now the chip...the boy would've been vamped years ago, if Spike had had anything to do with it.

As it stood now...well, he'd just have to deal with mortal version.

Spike pulled his arm back from the boy's shoulder, using his hand to cradle the boy's face instead. He rested his other hand on the boy's leg. He pulled the boy's face up to meet his gaze.

"Oh come now, pet," he said, wiping the tears away from the boy's face, mostly to distract Xander from his other hand, which was rapidly sliding further up the boy's leg. "There's hours until I can run to the others and humilate you..."

Xander looked at him, no longer crying, but pouting...quite deliciously, Spike noted. He had to mentally stop himself from leaning forward and sucking the boy's heavy lower lip into his mouth.

Spike still had some teasing left to do.

"...I'm sure we can think of something else.." Spike's hand reached its destination and Xander hastily sucked in a breath. "...more productive to do." Spike grinned wickedly and squeezed just enough to get Xander's hastily sucked breath to turn into a drawn-out moan and to get his hips to jerk forward off the sofa.

"Uhh..mghhm..yeah," Xander managed to pant out between estactic moans. Spike's hand was quite busy now -- as Xander could contest to.

"I knew you'd see things my way," Spike grinned and leaned forward, capturing Xander's lips with his own in a sensual kiss.

Xander was right. This was going to be a long night.

The End