Title : Loving Endings

Series : Body Heat 6
Author : Soft Princess (Sofy)
E-mail : sofy_slashnuts@hotmail.com
Disclaimer : Angel, Spike and Xander are not mine. They belong to Joss Whedon and all the others. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun. I'll give them back, promise!
Pairing : S/X/A
Rating : NC-17
Spoilers : "Tomorrow" for AtS and "Grave" for BtVS
Summary : It's a new beginning for our boys.
Notes : I know, it took me a WHILE to get this written. I must say that I have been hit by rather enjoyable bunnies this summer and that it delayed the writing of this part. And it IS the last one. Just as I said for Wanted, if I want to come back to it every once in a while, I will, but I think I really need to move on. If ANYONE wants to write in the Body Heat universe, you are totally free to do so. I leave it open for everyone. I know, you'll scream at the end, because it's an ending that's not really one, but I needed to finish it like that. The settings wanted it. :-D

Dedication : To Sarah, CJ, Helen, John, Bonster, Lawrence, AJ, Jericho, Shara, and all my other MSN friends *grin* because this was a MSN adventure. :-D

 

***

 

Xander opened the kitchen door and was greeted by a shyly smiling Willow.

 

"Hey Xan." She said.

 

"Hey."

 

"You slept well?" She asked mischievously.

 

Xander blushed slightly. "Kinda."

 

"Ohhhhh." Willow grinned.

 

Xander turned bright red. "You really don't wanna know." He said trying to joke his way out of it.

 

It was Willow's time to blush. "Huh... yeah... right." She mumbled, turning to the refrigerator.

 

"Do you mind? I mean, surely you don’t, but is it making you uncomfortable? Me and Spike and…" Xander stopped just in time and looked at his best friend as she tried to avoid him.

 

She hid behind the refrigerator door. "Er... what are you talking about?" She asked taking out the milk and trying to look innocent.

 

Xander looked at her and raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Wills...." He trailed off.

 

She looked at him and gulped. "Sorry..." And she looked back down. "I... I... it’s kinda difficult, but I’ll live. I mean, you like him and you’re with him, so I can’t really say anything. It’s just…” She paused a second and looked at Xander. "I'm sorry."

 

"For what Wills?? there's nothing to feel sorry about..."

 

"I know... what you're going through... I mean... emotionally... or is that..." She blushed even more and looked down. "You need a friend to support you... and I can't... I can't... can't be there for you... I'm not... strong enough..." She started sobbing frantically.

 

 Xander took her in his arms and gently caressed her cheek, drying the tears away.

 

"Shhhh, it's all right Willow... You need to get better... and I’m here for you... and you know what?" She shook her head, looking at up at him. "I already figured it all out..." He continued, smiling. "I'm not really 'not-into-women-anymore'... I'm just in love with the most annoying, selfish, irritating, frustrating, nauseating, exasperating, sweet, caring, loving, ex-Big-Bad vampire..." He stopped himself just in time before adding an s at vampire... God that's going to be so hard. "... with a soul." He finished, smiling warmly at his friend. He knew Spike had overheard. The vampire was standing in the doorway, shocked and pleased... happy. Xander looked over at him and smiled. "Hey."

 

Willow untangled herself from Xander's embrace and stood aside, watching as so many emotions played across the vampire's face. Joy, wonder, adoration, love... all mixed as he looked at Xander. "You love me?" Spike asked, the words catching in his throat; breaking the moment. It had only been a few seconds, but it seemed much longer.

 

"Told you that already, didn't I?" Xander answered opening his arms. Spike let himself be held tightly by Xander's warm arms. "I do love you Spike... I do..." Xander whispered in the vampire's ear. "I already told you... never doubt it."

 

"I know." Spike said into Xander's shoulder. He looked up and locked eyes with his lover. "But... telling your friends..." Willow interrupted him.

 

"We're your friends too Spike. You're part of us..."

 

Spike turned around and smiled at the redhead. She nodded and he looked back at Xander, finishing his thought. "Telling it to your friends makes it so much more real." He gently brushed Xander's cheek. "Aren't you afraid of what they might think? Or do?"

 

"Oh... I was..." Xander said seriously. "I was scared... but not for me... " Spike looked at him quizzically. Xander brushed his cheek. His heart sang as he realised just how right all this was... this tenderness and caring. "I was scared for you." He finished before leaning in and kissing Spike tenderly.

 

Willow smiled sadly, remembering her own lost love. Tears flooded from her eyes, but she angrily dried them. She took her glass of milk and left the kitchen.

 

*****

 

Angel woke up feeling cold.

 

He reached for his lovers, and found nothing but air. He opened his eyes and looked around. Growling sleepily, he sat up. "Where'd they go?" He gathered the sheets around himself and laid back down, trying to get more warmth. After a few minutes of tossing and turning back and forth, he sighed and pushed the covers aside.

 

"How I managed to find myself unable to sleep without them after only two days is beyond me." He grumbled. "I miss my heater." He got up, slowly stretching his legs he reached for his pants. He dressed quickly and much more warmly than he was accustomed to. "I feel so cold." He growled.

 

As he made his way downstairs, he stumbled upon Willow, who was slowly climbing the stairs, looking thoughtful. "Hey Willow. Are you ok?" He asked gently.

 

Willow's head shoot up and she looked at Angel through tear filled eyes. "Yeah, I am, it's just... It's... Spike and Xander." She waved at the general direction of the kitchen. "They're so cute and it... hurts." She finished. Not wanting to burst into tears right in front of Angel, she ran up the last few stairs and disappeared.

Angel stared at her as she ran and shook his head. He couldn't help but feel bad for the girl, but he was happy and that wouldn't change, at least, not until either of his lovers left him. Which he knew would happen some day. "Just not today." He mumbled, smiling again, as he walked to the kitchen. He felt a little guilty that he was so happy in light of Willow's sadness.

 

"Hey Poof, stop brooding." Spike's voice startled Angel. "What do ya want for breakfast: human, pig or cow?" Spike raised his eyebrow. "Since when you have human?  I looked yesterday when we got you back and there wasn't any."

 

Angel leaned over the refrigerator door and looked at the blood bags. "I really don't know. Maybe Giles bought some... or Buffy."

 

Xander laughed. "Probably Giles. I can't even imagine Buffy buying blood. What about Gunn or Fred? Don't they do your grocery sometimes?"

 

Angel looked at his young lover. "No. It use to be..." He stopped, his face becoming unreadable. "I do it myself." He quickly added.

 

Xander and Spike looked at each other and sighed. "One day Poof, you'll have to tell us about what happened around here." Spike placed his hand on Angel's shoulder, while the dark vampire closed his eyes. "We love you Peaches, but we can't do anything if you don't tell us. I mean, what the bloody hell happened that your two human friends were left alone?"

 

Spike's tone was pleading and Angel couldn't help but look up. "It's a very long story. I... I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it yet."

 

Xander gently wrapped his arms around Angel. "We're not pushing. We just want to be there for you. But you have to let us help, or we feel pretty useless."

 

"Thanks. You're both wonderful, truly wonderful." He whispered, trying to look into both his lovers' eyes at the same time. "I... made a lot of mistakes last year and one of them had bigger consequences than the others. Darla was brought back as a human by a bunch of evil lawyers and Dru turned her again. I... she tried to make me lose my soul." He paused for a second. Xander and Spike quietly pulled him over to the table and helped him sit down, leaving their hands on his back, gently caressing in support. "I thought nothing had happened out of that. I mean, I was still me." He looked at his hands. "But she came back a few months ago. Pregnant."

 

Xander choked and stared at Angel. "Huh, I thought a vampire couldn't have kids."

 

"We're not suppose to, but she was... Connor's our son."

 

"The little git?" Spike exclaimed.

 

"But he's at least 16!" Xander followed, really confused.

 

"Yes, well that's another part of the story. In short, Darla staked herself, but not before an old acquaintance of ours, from back in the day..." He looked at Spike. "You remember how we kept nagging you and Dru about Holtz?"

 

"The hunter? If I remember correctly you killed his family..."

 

"Yeah, well, he made a pact with a demon and showed up at Connor's birth. He was going to kill us both, me and Darla. To kill the baby. But he didn't. He let me go with Connor..." Tears wielded up in his eyes. "He was such a tiny beautiful baby. And alive." He paused. "They all tried to kill him. Vampires, demons, even lawyers. They wanted this miracle. I didn't let them. Fought all I could. He was mine. But then... Wolfram and Hart, the lawyers, tricked me. They spiked my blood with Connor's. He started smelling like food. I guess, I’d become a bit violent by then. That's when Wes took him away." Anger poured through him. "He gave him to Holtz. They ended up in a demon dimension. When they came back, he was all grown up and now, Connor's angry and narrow minded."

 

"That's putting it mildly poof." Spike said gently. It wasn't time for jokes.

 

Angel glared at Spike, but didn't say anything. "He thinks I killed Holtz... that's why he put me in that 'coffin' and sent me to the bottom of the ocean." He sighed. "Took me a month to finally break free. But I can't stay angry at him. He's my son. As hard as it is to believe it." He looked directly into Xander's eyes.

 

The young man smiled. "I guess if you're not mad at him, then we won't be either."

 

Spike nodded. "Not like I could. The git's my brother... kinda." He raised an eyebrow. "You know, that's kinda gross." Angel smiled and shook his head. "But hey, what's a vampire family if not screwed up."

 

All three men laughed lightly, the tension wearing off. "You know Angel, I think there might be more to Wes' actions than meets the eye. I don't want to argue with you, you know I wouldn't, but maybe you should talk to him. And not violently. Just let him talk.  "Xander said gently.

 

Angel closed his eyes. "Maybe." He looked at Spike and smiled. "Screwed up huh?"

 

Spike smiled and gently kissed his lover's lips. "Oh yeah, Peaches, prettily screwed." He smirked.

 

"Oh my god." All the three men jumped at the voice and turned around, shocked and breathless.

 

"I knew you were hiding something Xan!" Dawn's eyes were wide with shock as she walked into the kitchen, closing the door behind herself.

 

"Oh damn. Busted." Xander said under his breath, not able to tear his eyes away from the girl.

"Look, Dawn, it's... hard to explain." Xander started, then looked at his lovers.

"Huh uh, I'm sure it is, but it's pretty easy to guess." Dawn stared at them. "You three... guess it makes sense." She smirked. "Its not like you don't have a history of attracting demons is it?"

Xander shook his head. "Dawn, sit please. I guess we should explain, but first you have to promise us something." He paused, looking at the vampires. They nodded, so he went on. "Don't tell anyone. If Buffy or Giles find out, they'll..."

"The slayer'll stake me and Angel..." Spike continued.

"And Giles will take Xander away, to protect him." Angel finished, sighing. "Please Dawn, you can keep that secret? At least until we think it's time to tell them... right now, it's too soon. We've only been together two days. It's not like we've been hiding it for years, is it?"

Dawn nodded. "You have my word guys. You ask me not to say a word, so I won't. But you must promise me to tell me everything. You looked so sweet together." She grinned and bounced a little on her chair. The three men looked at each other and smiled.

"Angel?" Buffy's voice echoed through the lobby, loud enough for the four of them to hear.

"Buffy's coming, hide." Dawn joked. Quickly, Xander, Angel and Spike disentangled themselves. Angel stood up and went to the refrigerator. He was just retrieving two bags of blood when she entered.

"There you are." She waved at everyone. "Hey Dawn. Spike, Xan, how's everyone?"

After winking at Dawn, Xander took Spike's hand in his and smiled at Buffy. "We're good, you?"

"Pretty good. I met Giles, Fred and Gunn while walking over here, so I guess they're not far behind." She smiled dreamily.

Dawn's eyes twinkled. "Anyone else see that? Her face lit up when she mentioned Giles!" She giggled. Buffy glared at her sister, but didn't say anything. Xander was about to make a comment when the others walked in, Willow and Connor following close behind, deep in conversation.

"Wow, that's a morning gathering." Giles said, smiling at Buffy. "Everyone's here."

Chatting and laughing, they prepared breakfast and ate together. On Spike's lap, Xander observed everyone and smiled. Even though he knew some were missing, it felt like a big happy family.

"Who's on dish washing duty?" Buffy asked looking at everyone.

"What's dish washing?" Connor asked curious.

"It's when you wash the plates and pots and pans you've used for making and eating the meals." Dawn answered gently.

Connor smiled at her. "I guess I could try." The girl had just told him about trying to melt into the 'normal everyday life' and he wanted to give it a try.

"I'll help you then." Dawn quickly added.

Fred volunteered to help them and they stood up and made their way to the sink, gathering all the remaining plates on the way.

Suddenly, a bright flash lit up the kitchen and everyone blinked. When they looked up again, Cordelia was floating right in front of them, a soft glow surrounding her.

"Cordy!" Angel's heart jumped and he took a deep breath. "What...?"

"Hey Angel, hey everyone." She said very gently. "Look, I don't have much time, so don't ask too many questions, ok? I'll tell you why I'm here first."

Everyone nodded.

"I'm not... human, or even half demon anymore. When Skip demonised me, he did a little more than that. I've ascended to a higher plane. Don't ask me what it is, it's too involved to explain, Giles or Wes can look it up." Angel growled. "Hey! fangs off Angel. I know you don't like Wes, but he'll be back. Sooner than you think. A lot sooner. Anyway, that's not the point. The Powers want me to give you a message."

Everyone was too stunned to make a comment. They all looked at the glowing girl and said nothing.

"Everything that’s happened in the last couple of days has happened for a reason. There's a reason why Buffy, Dawn, Willow and Giles are here. And there's an even better reason why Spike and Xander were the ones that found Angel." She smiled wickedly at the three lovers that were now standing very close. Everyone turned to them. "You won't be able to hide it long, so you might as will give in and tell them now. Fast."

Xander, Spike and Angel closed their eyes and sighed. "Bloody hell bint, you better explain this cause I don't want to end up facing the wrong end of a stake." Shaking his head, Spike opened his eyes and looked at both his lovers. They nodded in turn. "All right, we're together. The three of us. Not just me and Xander. But me, Xander and Angel. Sleeping in the same bed, kissing, going wild..."

"Ok Spike, I think you said enough." Xander interrupted him, blushing.

"What!?!?" Buffy exclaimed, while everyone stared at the three men. "Can't be true." She muttered, shaking her head. Giles put his arm around Buffy's shoulder in support. She turned at him. "This is soooo not happening. I mean... Xander and Spike, I can stomach. But Angel???" She turned back at them. "Are you crazy? You realise what can happen? And just WHY didn't you tell us? What if..."

"Buffy!" Cordy interrupted her. "I don't have time for your bitching! You'll scream and argue all you want, but wait AFTER I've explained, ok?"

Buffy blushed and looked down. "Sorry." She mumbled.

"Huh?" Cordy was taken aback. "Buffy, the almighty just said sorry?" She shook her head. "Anyway, I'm not here to have a fight. Everyone relax please, the tension is unbearable."

Spike chuckled. "Guess you kinda did that yourself, princess. Not like we see a glowing cheerleader appear in our kitchen everyday. Makes for edginess."

Everyone laughed lightly and the tension eased.

"All right, I got to tell you this. The Powers have been keeping an eye on Spike, Xander and Angel for a while. Their potential is far greater than anyone could possibly imagine. On their own, they're not really making a difference. I mean, Xander's pretty useless, with no powers and all that, Spike didn't really want to fight the good fight, and no matter how much he tried, Angel just wasn't enough." She smiled at them. "I'm not saying you're worthless, just that alone, there's no real power, you see? And Xander, I'm sorry I said that, but you must admit, you're not doing much in the fight. BUT, and there's a big but here, together it's another story." She smiled at the three of them. "That's why Spike and Xander were the ones to find Angel, it was part of the Powers' plan. They needed a reason for them to get together. Guess it worked." She winked.

"What's the deal?" Gunn asked.

"It's like a three pieces puzzle finally put together. Xander, Spike and Angel each have a force inside of them that once assembled, is nearly indestructible. Xander is the Heart. They build themselves around him. You'll have to learn more with the books, cause I'm running out of time, but just know that if you lose Xander, you lose all. Xander's the most irreplaceable force on the face of the Earth. Even I'm replaceable. He isn't. From what I've been told, the force he holds only appears on Earth every 500 years."

Giles' eyes lit up in realisation. "The Heart!" He exclaimed. "It's the middle of a triad of love, or something of the sort. I’ve read about it. I guess this does make sense." He looked fondly at the stunned young man.

"I'm... irreplaceable? " Xander whispered, shocked.

"Sure ya are luv. Always knew you were special." Spike smiled while Angel wrapped his arms around Xander.

"But what about the curse?" Buffy asked, in shock.

"The curse isn't a problem anymore. It still exists, but the preternatural forces that the guys hold are preventing a 'remake' of past history. It's kinda the reason why Angel didn't turn completely bad last year."

"You mean I didn't have it... before?" Angel replied, confused.

"Not really. It was there, but it wasn’t active. It's the contact with the two other halves that activates it in a way but it's too complicated to explain fast." Cordelia waved her hand and a book appeared. "You'll learn everything you need in there, read it carefully and make sure you don't lose it." She glared at the boys. They promised. "Ok, now, someone's arriving, you listen and no fights! Ok?" She kept on glaring at Angel. Not taking her eyes away, she moved into the lobby and everyone followed.

The door opened and two figures stepped in. "It's good to be back." Lorne's voice echoed on the lobby's walls, while Wes just glared and him and then looked at the others and gulped. "Hi everyone." Lorne went on. He winked at Cordy and was suddenly full of Fred. "Hey sweetcakes." He said gently.

"You're back!" Fred said in wonder.

Lorne smiled at her and nodded. "Somebody needed to bring Wes boy back. So I volunteered." He looked at Angel. "No hard feeling pumpkin but I had to."

Fred kissed his cheek then went back to Gunn's arms. Wesley walked in behind Lorne wearily.

Angel growled deep in his throat, but both Xander and Spike were holding onto him, preventing him from leaping at the traitor and killing him.

Cordelia sighed. "Fangs off Angel. I told you."

"He kidnapped my son! You really think he has the right to walk into MY hotel?"

Connor was the first one to react. He walked to Wesley's side and looked at him. "You don't look like a bad human."

Wesley smiled. "That's because I’m not. At least not as much as your father wants to believe. I made a mistake, that's all." He sighed. "A very bad mistake. And I am sorry for it."

"He gave you to Holtz Connor, that's bad enough for me." Angel growled.

"Don't you think you're being irrational?" Xander asked his lover, who looked at him.

"I DIDN'T give him to Holtz! Justine slit my throat to take him from me! I don't call THAT giving." Wesley shoot back at Angel.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Everyone stopped talking all at once and looked at Cordelia. "I already told you that I don't have all the time in the world. You guys will have one hell of a ride from here and Wesley will help you, if you want to be angry at him, fine, but he NEEDS to be around. You hear that?" She glared at Angel once again.

"And why is that?" The dark vampire spat back.

The seer rolled her eyes. "Angel, you are stupid. If there is ONE person you don't want to turn against you, it's Wesley. And that's exactly what's been happening. If Wolfram and Hart get their hands on him, you're toast." She turned to Lorne. "If you hadn't found him in Vegas and brought him here, we'd have been lost. But now, YOU..." She turned back to Angel. "Are the one that can mess all this up. If you don't stop being so anally retentive about Wes, you'll end up battling against the one person who knows you best. You really don't want that to happen." She shook her head to emphasize on the negativity, while still glaring at the dark vampire.

Angel sighed. "If you say so. Doesn't mean I like it." He grumbled.

"No that you sure don't. But I don't think everyone here likes the fact that you and Xander and Spike are together either. Or that you are probably far stronger together than anything that exists. But I guess that's how life goes." She shrugged. "Anyway, you'll be far stronger for the fight that's to come if you stick together and forgive. And just so you know, Angel, you're not the only one that needs to forgive." She looked around the room at everyone. "You all have something and someone to forgive, even if it's yourself." She stopped on Willow. "Don't let anger and despair eat at you, it'll destroy everything you've fought for. You need to be strong. The fight is not even close to finished. Good luck guys, I'll be watching over you." And with those words, she disappeared in a flash of bright light.

Everyone stood staring at the spot Cordelia just left. Dawn shook her head. "That was weird." She looked at Xander, Angel and Spike. "Guess I can talk about it now can't I?" She smirked.

Xander chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you can." He leaned back into Angel's arms, wrapping his own arms around Spike's slender form.

Buffy shook her head. "How did that happen? and when?" She asked incredulously.

"Two nights ago, when we found Angel. He was cold so we... kinda helped him warm up."

"Body heat is the best innit luvs?" Spike asked, smirking at his lovers. They chuckled.

"That's way too much info." Buffy said, closing her eyes. Without realising it, she leant into Giles' shoulder and the older man wrapped his arm around her.

Xander continued. "I guess that's what activated the bond. I've felt… bizarre since then. Haven't you?" He turned to his lovers.

Spike shrugged. "Dunno love. Always felt pretty bizarre if you ask me. But I can definitely feel something has changed. Not least what happened yesterday. Was overwhelmed by some weird feelings I was… s'why I left." He looked down.

Xander hugged him tighter and Angel gathered both of them in his arms. "I've realised I can't sleep without you. I guess that's part of this bond too." He smiled warmly.

"All right pumpkins, don't mean to interrupt the love fest, but you have a lot to fill in." Lorne said as he and Wesley sat. The ex-watcher had his face in his hands and looked pensive. Lorne laid a hand on his should in support.

Fred looked around. "Everyone's here now. It feels... weird." Gunn wrapped his arms around here and kissed her neck.

Wesley looked up and smiled at her. "I guess we all have to get reacquainted in a way." He looked at Giles, Buffy, Willow and Xander. "I am not the person you remember from Sunnydale, just as I am not the person they remember." He gestured towards the LA gang.

Xander smiled at him. "Life does that to you, I think. I'm really not the same donut boy I was a few years ago either. Spike is not soulless anymore, Dawn's grown up, Buffy died, Willow went through some tough times. So yeah, we're all new here." He chuckled. "Hell, even Giles changed. He looks... younger." He smiled warmly at the Englishman who returned his smile.

Angel gently untangled his arms from around Xander's torso. He kissed his human lover's cheek and whispered. "Thank you." Stunned, Xander looked at him, only to see him walk away from them, towards Wesley.

"I guess we didn't let you tell us what went through your head. We assumed too much. At least I did. I'm... really stubborn and I'm sorry for that. We need a fresh start so I guess... what I want to say is, I... forgive you. I won't forget, but I forgive. Welcome back Wes." He smiled shyly at his friend's stunned expression. He knew it wasn't much, but it was all he was ready to give for the moment. Forgiveness was a big thing on it's own. In a way, deep inside himself, Angel knew he hadn't really forgiven anything, it was still too fresh, too deep and hurtful. But he wanted to have a fresh start. As Xander had said, no one was the same and they all needed to start over, from the beginning. And that meant forgiving.

"Thank you Angel." Wesley managed to reply.

Connor looked around, finally coming to his senses. "Hey! This is disturbing!" He exclaimed.

Dawn turned to him. "What? Everything is, so you need to be more specific." She smiled lightly.

"They are men! They can't... that’s not natural."

"Connor..." Angel started.

The young man looked at the vampire, disgust clear on his face. He stood up and left the lobby.

Angel went to follow him, but Dawn stopped him. "Let me. I think I know how to make him understand." She smiled wickedly and ran after the teenager.

Fred watched and shrugged. "He'll get over it Angel. It's not a bad thing you know. It's kinda cute in fact. You and Spike and Xander. It's all fluffy. And kinda hot…"

Gunn blushed. "Fred, girl, why don't we take Wes and Lorne out to dinner huh?"

"That's a good idea." Lorne said, standing up. He looked at Wes and the ex-watcher smiled.

"I guess I'm hungry."

"Yay!" Fred bounced. "It's settled then. But what are we going to eat? How about…" Her incessant babble continued as they made their way out of the lobby.

Buffy hadn't left Giles' arms and had kept watching Angel. "Angel?" She asked gently. The vampire turned to her.

"I really have to let you go now don't I?" She asked gently. "I..." She looked down blushing. "I hadn't really before, but now... I think I’ve found a reason good enough to let you go." She looked up at Giles and smiled warmly. "Why is it I never saw you before today?" Giles smiled and kissed her forehead.

Angel nodded and looked away smiling. He looked at Spike and Xander and felt alive. He had two beautiful lovers that were part of him and he had all the blessings he needed to love them without fear. They were part of the same force. In the vampire's mind, that meant they were intended to be together. Nothing could come between them. At least until some evil showed up. Xander was precious and Angel knew Spike and himself would do EVERYTHING in their power to protect him, until death.

Willow looked back and forth between the two 'couples' in the room. Something was telling her that she would have her chance too one day. She just had to learn to forgive, just like Angel had done. But it was hard. Forgiving ourselves for something we had done was the hardest kind of forgiveness. She could still feel and see everything she had done, the anger, the fear that poured out of everyone she encountered during those few days. It was all there. The image of Warren, skinned and dead, the torture, it was eating at her. But she had to let go. Let go of this disgust and anger she felt towards herself. She started to cry. Silently at first. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed, curling up in a corner. Alone in her body and her mind, she cried all the tears she had been holding in. She had been a monster during those few days, but now she had been given a fresh start. No one would forget, but they might forgive.

Xander, Angel and Spike held each other's hands, looking at the sobbing form on the floor. Xander began to reach out to his friend, but Angel stopped him. "She needs to do this alone. She knows we'll still be here when she's ready, but for the moment, she needs to forgive herself. And there's nothing we can do to help." Without another word, the three men left the lobby together, walking up to their room.

Just before they opened the door, Dawn called them. "Hey Guys!" They turned around and looked at her smiling face. Connor was with her. The young girl looked at him and raised her eyebrow. "Well?" She asked, trailing off.

Connor looked at his father. "I'm sorry dad. I am not really used to this world. Dawn explained me about... to le rance?"

"Tolerance silly." Dawn replied, smiling.

Connor smiled at her and finished. "Well, it's a difficult thing to understand. As she said, I haven't been raised by a very tolerant man, so I guess I have a lot to learn."

Angel smiled, but Xander answered for him. "You do have a lot to learn, and we'll be more than happy to teach you." He yawned. "But for now, we need rest. This was a pretty tiring experience."

Dawn nodded and grabbed Connor away. "We'll be out for the day. He has a lot to learn."

The three men chuckled as they entered their room. "Poor Connor." Xander sighed. "He'll be exhausted by the time he gets home." The human let himself fall on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"He needs it." Angel stated. "Having someone his own age to talk to is a good thing."

The dark vampire sat beside his lover, running a hand on the human's chest lightly. "I missed your warmth when I woke up this morning." He whispered gently.

Xander moaned quietly and gently caressed the vampire's cheek with the back of his hand. "You must have been cold."

"He certainly was Luv." Spike answered, laying down on his stomach by Xander's side.

"About what the bint told us, you think that'll change something between us?"

Xander turned at Spike and gathered him in his arms. "Apart the fact that we now know we're not gonna be separated and that we love each other without any doubt, I don't think much will change."

Angel started massaging Spike's tensed back. "We'll now live out in the open, without hiding."

"That's good." Spike whispered, finally letting the tension ease. All day he had tried to put on his 'big bad' front, but it was tiring. "I... I'm not good at hiding."

"I know that, honey." Xander replied tenderly. Spike looked at him quizzically.

"Honey?"

Angel chuckled at Spike's tone. "I think it fits you Will. Honey." The other vampire smiled and leaned into his lovers' embrace.

Xander smiled back at him and continued. "You know you don't have to put on a front around us. I already told you that."

"I know luv, s'just hard being around them and not being in control." Spike closed his eyes. "This bloody soul's a pain in the arse."

Angel chuckled. "That it is. But you have to live with it. At least we're here." He gently kissed Spike's lips. "We love you and we're here for you. Let us be in control, you don't have to force yourself." He smiled adding jokingly. "It's not good for your health."

Xander laughed and tightly hugged them both. "You know what's really good for our health?" He wriggled his eyebrow suggestively.

Angel sighed and looked at Spike. "He never has enough does he?"

Spike chuckled. "S'not like we're complaining is it?"

"No, not at all." Angel replied, diving in for a heated kiss. Once he released Spike's lips, he reached for Xander and proceeded to map out every inch of his hot mouth. Kissing was becoming an addiction for them. They couldn't keep their mouths off each other.

While Angel and Xander were otherwise occupied, Spike unfastened the human's pants and pulled them off quickly, along with the boxers. He then did the same with his sire, pausing at the hard flesh that sprung free. He teased it with a gentle brush of his fingers, eliciting a deep moan from the dark vampire, then finished his task. When he had divested both men of every piece of clothing on their lower body, he looked back at them. "Still kissing? You just can't stop can you?" He smiled warmly.

Xander broke the kiss to take a deep breath and he looked at Spike. "Come over here." He grinned. The blonde vampire threw himself on the bed, between his lovers. Angel and Xander started kissing him from the forehead down, divesting him of all his clothes on the way. Without touching his hard member, they continued their journey one on either side. When Spike was completely naked and wet from their ministrations, they stood and pulled their shirts off, not able to tear their eyes away from the sight of their lover, spread on the bed, his body just begging for more.

Now naked, they laid back down on the bed. Xander grinned at Spike. "You know, I still have a promise to keep."

Spike raised his eyebrow. "A promise luv?" He asked confused.

"I think it involves some kind of begging." Angel whispered hoarsely in Spike's ear.

Shivering in excitement, Spike allowed his hands to roam over Xander's body, caressing every bit of flesh he could touch. Gently teasing the human's nipples with his fingers, he sucked and nipped at his ear, trailing down to his neck. Angel sat back on his heels and watched them. Xander's head was thrown back and he started to moan incoherently at Spike's touch, as the blonde vampire slowly, teasingly made his way down his golden hard body.

While the dark vampire was leisurely stroking his cock, the blond was driving their human lover mad with desire, without kissing him. He let his hands wander on either side of the boy, caressing his warm flesh while his mouth traced a wet path from the base of his neck to his hips. There, Spike started stroking Xander's ass with small soft touches, his lips and tongues playing all around the hard flesh, but never quite reaching it.

Spike wanted nothing more than to fasten his lips around Xander's cock, but he wouldn't, couldn't give in. He wanted to hear Xander beg for him. For his touch.

"Oh Spike! So good." Xander moaned hoarsely. The vampire's hands were sending him to levels of pleasure he had never felt from only a simple touch. It was pure fire coursing through him.

Grinning, Spike continued to nibble and lick his way towards his prize. He lifted Xander's legs, his hands caressing the boy's thighs gently and sensually. His mouth continued downwards and he kissed the puckered hole now showing between pale cheeks. Xander shivered in anticipation. "Spike. Please!"

Spike's eyes opened wide. That's what he'd been waiting for. He flickered his tongue around Xander's tight and hot opening. He was trying to remember where they had last put the lube, when it was suddenly in his hand. Grinning at Spike's surprise, Angel sat back on the bed, resuming his slow strokes. He wanted to join in, but he wouldn't until Spike told him it was ok. His lovers needed this, a moment just for themselves. Just like himself had had with each of them in the last two days.

Spike smiled and coated his fingers. He leaned back over Xander and kissed him thoroughly, literally sucking all the air from the young man's lungs.

As they broke for breath, Spike inserted two fingers in his lover's tightness. Surprised, Xander arched his back and closed his eyes, moaning at the exquisite pain/pleasure sensation that coursed through him.

"Oh God." Angel moaned. Spike turned towards him, his eyes darkened with desire. He took in the sight of his sire and licked his lips.

"He's a damn beautiful sight isn't he?" He asked.

Angel moaned. "Oh yeah." He reached towards Xander's stomach and started to stroke it gently. "I've seen only one thing as beautiful as him." He looked back at Spike. "It's you. When you're lost in pleasure you always take my breath away... so to speak. Just like he does." Smiling tenderly, He leant down and captured Spike's lips with his own.

"Guys, please! Spike, move! I'm dying here." Xander moaned breathlessly.

Not breaking the kiss, Spike started thrusting his fingers in and out of Xander's heat. He quickly added a finger, stretching and searching.

"OH YES!" Xander screamed.

Spike grinned.

"Spike!" Xander moaned. "Will you two stop kissing and fuck me already!"

Angel and Spike laughed out loud, breaking the kiss. "Sure luv. If that's what you want." Spike grinned. Angel laid down beside Xander, kissing his neck and shoulder. The dark vampire couldn't get enough of the human's scent and taste.

"On your hands and knees Xan." Spike's voice in his ear startled the young man and he shivered. Angel helped him turn around, grabbing some pillows so he could be more comfortable.

Spike took in the sight of his human lover, his ass in the air, begging to be taken. Xander was going wild from need. Never had he been so ready for Spike to take him. He needed it, craved it. He couldn't wait anymore. "Please Spike! Stop teasing!" Xander's moans brought Spike back to the surface and he positioned himself at Xander's entrance. Angel placed his hands on Xander's ass and stroked it lightly.

With one hard thrust, Spike pushed himself all the way inside the gripping heat. Xander arched his back and screamed in pleasure. Spike stopped moving completely, taken aback by the wonderful feeling. "Oh fucking Hell Xander. You feel so bloody good."

Angel sat on his heels, not able to tear his eyes away from the sight. He ran his hands over Xander's back gently, while trying to think of something he could do to ease the tension in his groin.

Xander reached beside himself and gripped Angel's thigh. "Over here, deadboy." He said hoarsely.

Angel looked at Xander confused. The young man pulled on his leg and Angel followed. He stopped in front of Xander, finally realising what he had in mind. "You really want to do that?" He asked.

"Yeah, sit down and enjoy, love." Xander grinned. Thankful Spike hadn't yet started to thrust, he pushed Angel gently until the vampire was spread in front of him. He licked the tip of Angel's cock, before wrapping his lips around the head and gently sucking.

"Stop." Spike's strangled voice drifted to Xander's ears and he looked up.

"What?" The human asked hoarsely.

"I want..." Spike couldn't form his thoughts. He had Xander spread out and eager, begging for him and now, only one thing was missing.

Angel looked at him and understood. "Looks like I'll be getting that blow job later on, Xan." He said, smirking. He kissed Xander's lips and made his way to the other side of the bed, behind Spike.

He reached for the lube and quickly coated his erection. Both Xander and Spike were now writhing on the bed, waiting for him to get on with it so they could move. He gently pushed on Spike's back, making him bend over Xander, exposing his beautiful hole. With one quick thrust he embedded himself in Spike's tightness.

"Oh God Yeah!" Spike moaned in Xander's ear. "S'what was missing."

Angel placed his hands on Spike's hips and started to move gently.

 

"Spike! Move." Xander couldn't wait anymore.

 

"Sure luv." Spike managed between moans. He gently pulled out, while Angel thrust hard into his own hole. The three men groaned loudly. They couldn't stop moaning as they built up a fast pace.

 

They had waited long enough. They couldn't anymore.

 

Thrusting in and out, pushing back and kissing flesh, their cries of ecstasy echoed through the room. Their hands roamed over each others as they sought completion, now completely lost to the world. Their pace became frantic, hectic. Hard, fast, but loving. Always loving.

 

"Oh fuck!" Xander moaned as Spike reached for his cock, stroking it in time with their thrusts. Overwhelmed by the sensations, the human was the first one to come. "Yes!! Spike, Angel! So good!"

 

Gripping heat on his cock, Spike pushed harder, trying to blend into the fire that burned his hard flesh.

 

"So fucking hot!" He screamed, as waves after waves of pleasure coursed through him and he emptied himself in his lover's tight heat.

 

Spike collapsed on top of Xander, Angel pulling out of his hole. Moaning from the lost, the dark vampire gripped his member and started to pump in earnest. His lovers turned onto their backs and watched him enthralled by the sight.

 

"Yeah, Angel. You're so fucking hot." Spike said hoarsely, still shaking from the aftermath.

 

Xander wrapped himself around Spike, breathing hard. Angel looked at his entangled lovers, taking in the sight of their naked, sweaty bodies, sated, looking so fucking sexy, the vampire closed his eyes and came, moaning loudly. "Fuck! Yeah!" Finally spent, he collapsed on both his lovers and closed his eyes.

 

"That was powerful." Xander stated matter-of-factly. The other two nodded, silent. "Don't you think we need a shower?" They nodded again, but none of them moved. "We'll be all sticky if we don't go." Xander tried again. He really felt dirty and needed a warm shower. Both the vampires had completely sapped his body heat.

 

Reluctantly, they stood and stumbled to the bathroom together. They entered the warm steaming water without a word and soaped each other up, washing every bit of flesh. They were so sated that they didn't think of anything else besides washing themselves.

 

They came back in the room and put some clean sheets on the bed, before collapsing in a tangle of limbs.

 

"You know…" Xander started after a moment. "I think what Cordy told us is very important. We are three pieces of a puzzle that's supposed to be used for good. What do you think that means?" He wondered.

 

"Probably that we'll have to fight the good fight and save innocents and all that." Spike mumbled, his face buried in Xander's chest.

 

"I don't know. I think we'll probably have to fight something much bigger than the apocalypses we've faced and the demons we kill every day." Angel added, his arms wrapped tightly around both his lovers. "My guess would be that a bunch of lawyers should really start to watch their backs. They won't know what hit them." He smirked. The idea of finally going up against Wolfram and Hart really appealed to him. They had been a pain for the last few years and Angel knew they had a hold on almost everything in the damn city. They were evil incarnate and something told him the next apocalypse would be closely related to them.

 

"You know, I think I really am the Heart." Xander stated after a moment.

 

"Why you saying that? Course you are." Spike replied.

 

"Yeah, but even more so… just look how we always end up cuddling… I'm always the middle." They chuckled. "Anyway, you think another apocalypse is coming then?"

 

"I don't know… I honestly hope not, but something's telling me there's something big coming up. Though that is another story completely. For the moment, I think we should concentrate on learning more about this triad we're forming. We need to find ourselves and learn to trust old friends I guess." Angel paused. "I don't like the idea of Wesley being back, but what Cordelia said made sense. He is the one person that knows EVERYTHING about me. If anyone can take me down, it's him. We're much safer with him on our side."

 

The other two agreed.

 

"Anyway, we need sleep." Xander said. "Our friends have all found something worth fighting for and we now have a purpose, so I say, we sleep and when we wake up, the world will be a whole new place for us to play in."

 

"New beginnings huh?" Spike asked.

 

"Yeah." Xander answered, kissing Spike's forehead. "You need to talk more about what you feel, Angel needs to work out some issues and I need to help a friend out. So we need all the sleep we can get."

 

"Got that right." Spike mumbled. "New beginnings it is. But shouldn't we get an ending first?"

 

"Just sleep Will." Angel said gently. "That'll be ending enough."

 

"Love you both." Spike said with feeling. They were the simplest of words, but they meant the world to him. To be able to give his heart to his lovers was the most wonderful feeling Spike had ever felt. He was finally safe.

 

"Love you too. Both of you." Xander said clasping his hand in Spike's.

 

"Love isn't something I'm used to give these days, but I really do love you both. With all my soul. You are part of me." Angel placed his hand on top of Xander's and Spike's, closing his eyes.

 

"Sleep tight, my loves. Tonight will be here soon enough."

 

"You mean I need to sleep during the day now?"

 

"Shut up and sleep Xan."

 

***

 

Two vampires

One human

Three lovers

Brought together by the will of the fates

 

A triad of love

Three forces assembled

One the Heart

One the Soul

One the Reason

Once together they can't be torn apart

Only death

Can destroy them

 

They will fight

They will win

Together they will bring freedom

Together they will destroy the greatest force of evil

In the City of Angels

 

Liars will be punished

Hell will fear them

For they bring Peace

For they bring Love

Where Hatred once reigned

 

 

The END