Title: Wanted: Silliness

Series: The Wanted Series 4

The previous parts of the series can be found at: www.quebecpop.com/sarah_sofy_swathi or on the UCSL archive.

Author: Soft Princess and Angel Jade

E-mail: sofy_slashnuts@hotmail.com and angel.jadeuk@buffyrocks.co.uk

Disclaimer: Spike and Xander are not ours. They belong to the God, Joss Whedon and all the others that have a claim on them… Also, all other characters, places and settings of BtVS are not ours either. Only the plot is ours… if there is one.

Rating: PG

Pairing: Spike/Xander

Summary: Spike wakes up with a bad plan in his head.

Note: This is a very LATE birthday present for Tea. We're sorry it took so long sweetie, but here it is!! Woo hoo! Just to remind everyone, Tea told Sofy to dedicate it to Sarah, who was going through a hard phase at the time.

Dedication: To Sarah, because we love you and because we love to make you laugh and smile.

WARNING: extreme silliness.

***

Waking up with that familiar body next to his, Spike smiled down at the head pressed into his chest, with arms wrapped so tightly, Spike was glad he had no need to breathe. He felt the heart beating softly and felt a surge of happiness at the previous night's events. Feeling happier than he had in a long time, he lay still, simply watching the boy sleep, remembering the first time he'd really noticed Xander...while tied to a chair. He smiled to himself at the memory.

An evil plan crept into his mind. Well, not THAT evil. //Gonna make him pay for all the bloody times I was tied to that chair.// He thought, grinning madly. He looked at Xander's head on his chest. //Love you so much, but you must pay.// He laughed inside. Slowly, he untangled himself from the boy's embrace, trying not to wake him.

Slipping out from the bed, he knelt beside it and reached his arm underneath, feeling around for the more… personal things he owned. After successfully locating some rope, he pulled it free and cast an amused smile at the sleeping human. He dropped it on the foot of the bed before grabbing the chair from the corner of the room. Placing it near the bed, he walked round to Xander's side.

Being very careful not to wake the human, he gathered him in his arms and lifted the sleeping form, walking very carefully to the chair. He lowered Xander, sitting him up. Holding the young man with one hand, he reached for the rope.

Spike looked at Xander, than at the rope on the bed. It was too far for him to reach without leaving Xander, but that would mean the boy would fall from the chair.

Suddenly, the vampire's face lit up and he lifted his leg. Placing it gently on the young man's breast, he took off his hand and tried to reach the rope again, keeping an eye on the sleeping human.

As he leant over, he lost his balance, falling flat on his face, successfully grabbing the rope on his way down. He watched, horrified, as Xander began to slump in the chair. With his accelerated speed, he leapt up to steady the boy. //Bloody hell, he'll sleep through anything!//

He began to wrap the rope round Xander awkwardly, trying to hold him in place at the same time. As he wound it round, he realized his legs were getting trapped in the rope. Trying to step out of it, he tripped and fell backwards, and could only watch as Xander, along with the chair, toppled over on top of him.

"Ahhh!" Xander screamed, as he was suddenly torn out of his peaceful dreams. "What the f..."

"Watch out the language luv." Spike muttered from under the young man.

"What were you trying to do?" Xander asked, feeling very much awake.

"Nothin'." Spike answered smirking,

Xander rolled his eyes and looked down at the rope and the chair, which were very much attached to his body. "That doesn't look like nothing."

He tried to shift, but he realized both he and Spike were attached to the chair and no amount of struggling was loosening the ropes. He tried anyway, shifting his legs.

"Ow! Watch me balls!" Spike groaned as Xander's knee connected with his groin.

Xander laughed. "Serves you right, this was your idea."

"Not like I planned on being trapped under you and a bleedin' chair."

"I'm more worried about the ropes." Xander said, pulling at them uselessly.

"Well luv, lets find the end of the rope first." Spike said, trying to move his hands. He found he couldn't move them more than a few centimetres.

"Crap." Xander said, as he at least tried to shift the chair from above him, where it was digging into his back and legs painfully. "Help me here fangless, the chair is hurting me."

Spike's head shot up. "Sorry luv." He said, contrite. "I can't move."

"Well, isn't that funny." Xander replied. "You can't move, I can't get the fucking chair from my back, and we're..."

"Sorry luv." Spike whispered, looking at the floor.

Xander sighed softly at the look in Spike's eyes. He tried to get a better view at the situation they were in, before laughing.

Spike looked back at Xander with a frown. "What you laughing at?"

"You...only you could get us into this." Xander said, looking down at Spike through an amused expression.

Spike smiled. "Yep...only me. How about we get out of this now?"

Xander shook his head. "Not until you tell me what you were up to."

Spike smirked. "Not bloody likely."

"Why?" Xander asked, smiling and ready to plead to death.

"Cause..." Spike shrugged.

"Spike?" Xander said, getting in puppy eyes mode.

"What luv?"

"Tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"What you don't want to tell me?"

Spike raised is eyebrow. "If I don't want to tell you, then why would I tell you?"

"Just cause I ask?" Xander pouted.

Spike shook his head. "You know pouting does nothing to me, Pet. I ain't gonna give in... And will you stop looking at me like that. You look little a sodding puppy.

"Well, that is the idea..." Xander told him.

"Was just messing around, is all." Spike said, simply.

Xander arched an eyebrow. "And..."

"And what?"

Xander groaned. "You were messing about...with ropes...and a chair...and oh my God! I so know what you were up to!"

Spike looked at the ceiling. //Beautiful ceiling...//

"Spike!" Xander exclaimed, elbowing the vampire's stomach.

"Ouch! That bloody hurts luv!"

"I barely touched you!" Xander argued.

"No pet, you shoved your elbow in my stomach. And really hard at that."

"Well you tried to tie me up to the chair!" Xander whined. "What were you trying to do? Get your revenge or something?"

Spike gave his best 'who, me?' expression.

"Don't give me that!" Xander chastised. "You and your kinky sex."

"Hey! Who said there was gonna be sex?" Spike asked. "What if I was gonna leave ya there?"

"You, go without sex? I'd like to see that." Xander said.

"No you wouldn't Pet, who would you shag?" Spike asked him.

Xander thought about it. "Yeah, I see your point. So exactly what did you have in mind?"

"Was thinking of tying you up to that sodding chair, then sitting and watching the telly. Having a few beers and then sleeping on the couch, half naked and snoring." Spike smirked.

Xander laughed. "All right, I was a jerk. But I know that's not what you had in mind. Now tell me."

"Nah luv. What's the fun in doing it again if you know all my tricks?"

"Well, you could NOT do it again?" Xander asked hopefully.

"Suuure luv. And give up the pleasure of seeing you tied up under my control. Never."

Xander smiled. "Under your control, huh? Someone's got a kink." He sang.

"We all got 'em, Pet. What's yours?" Spike asked.

"M'not telling." Xander said, smugly. "Maybe I wanna tie you up again."

"Uh...what d'ya think we're doing now?" Spike pointed out.

"Oh yeah, because this is so satisfying... there's not even enough room to have sex here." Xander told him.

"Wanna bet?" Spike asked.

"No...I really don't." Xander replied.

"Well, then we should try to get the hell outta these ropes so I can at least tie you to the bed and fuck you till you beg me to stop?"

"Not gonna happen."

"What? Me tying you to the bed?"

"No, me begging for you to stop." Xander smirked.

Spike raised his eyebrows at the boy. "Bet I can make ya beg."

"To stop?" Xander asked.

"Nah...just beg." Spike said.

"Uh...Spike...I always beg." Xander pointed out.

Spike frowned. "Oh...okay...bet I can outlast you."

"You always do that, too." Xander said dryly.

Spike sighed, and tried to think.

"What the hell happened to put you into such a silly mood?" Xander asked.

"Why? Don't ya like it?"

Xander laughed. "No...it's just making me feel silly."

Spike finally freed his right hand from the ropes, after much wriggling, and twisting. "There." He said, triumphant, holding his hand in the air. "See?"

"Yes Spike, you have a very nice hand, now... how about you put it to good use?"

"Like what luv?" Spike whispered hoarsely in the human's ear.

"Not 'that'! I mean, try to get me out of here."

"Oh...right." Spike tried to pull the ropes off Xander, but only succeeded in tightening them.

"Ow!" Xander complained.

"Stop your whining." Spike muttered.

"It hurts."

"Baby."

"Am not."

"There!" Spike cheered as he freed Xander's arm.

"What do you want, a medal? And the rest of me." Xander urged.

"No need to be so pushy. Ain't my fault you wouldn't sit up right in the chair." Spike said, smirking.

"The twisted logic of Spike, ladies and gentlemen." Xander said, sarcastically.

"Luv?" Spike asked.

"What?"

"Shut up will you? I'm trying to free my beloved princess here, shouldn't she keep quiet?"

Xander suppressed a burst of laughter. "Not when the prince is in as bad a shape as the princess is." He elbowed Spike's stomach once more.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"I'm not a girl!" Xander whined playfully.

"Nah, you just scream like one." Spike jeered.

Xander snorted. "I do not."

Spike used his free hand to tickle Xander, grinning as the boy yelped. "See?"

"That was a manly cry!" Xander protested.

"Sure, whatever ya say, luv." Spike rolled his eyes.

"I saw that!"

"Saw what? I did nothing and you can't prove it." Spike said, simply.

"Bet you cry like a girl." Xander muttered.

"Never. Vampires don't cry like girls...except the pouf." Spike explained.

"Ewww, I so don't want to know how Angel cries." The young man made a face at the thought. "But I really bet you cry like a girl." He added, smirking.

"Do not, luv."

"Do."

"Don't"

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do, do, do, do, do." Xander said rapidly, almost neenering.

"Do... er don't!"

"See?" Xander exclaimed triumphant. "You admitted it!"

"I did not!"

Xander smirked. "You just admitted it. I win."

"Smug little bugger, aren't ya?" Spike asked. "Been bad influence on you."

"Only in the best way." Xander grinned. "Now scream like a girl for me."

"You what?"

"Please?" Xander begged.

"Sod off. I'm the big..."

"...Bad, I do NOT scream like a girl." Xander interrupted, mimicking Spike.

"I don't talk like that." Spike said, calmly.

"So?"

"You determined to piss me off?" Spike demanded.

"Yup." Xander smirked as Spike finished taking off the rope from the young man's arms.

"Why luv? Didn't do anything."

"Uh uh. Suuuuuure. You're the one that tried to tie me to a chair while I was 'sleeping' and then got us in this mess. I think I can at least get a little revenge."

"Thought I was the one getting revenge here."

"Well, lets say your plan fucked up again and it turned against you." Xander said smiling, as he finally could get the //fucking// chair out of the way. "Ahhhh, that feels good." He moaned in appreciation, as he rubbed his sore bottom.

Spike pushed Xander over, finally free of the body holding him down. They struggled to get away from each other, pulling ropes away, realising that in their bickering, they'd only managed to tie themselves up more.

Spike was the first to pull free and he smiled down at Xander, one of his 'looks' on his face.

"Don't even think about it...I'm almost out." Xander warned.

"Well, don't get too much out of there, we'll use them again soon." Spike said, stalking towards Xander.

"Oh NO, we won't." An idea crept into the young man's head. "Or we could." He said, grinning evilly at his lover.

"Oh no, luv. You won't..." Spike said, suddenly scared.

"Sure I will." Xander eased out of the ropes and stalked towards the vampire, much like Spike had done to him a few minutes before. He pushed Spike gently on the bed and straddled him. "Here, you like it under there?"

"Not sure yet luv. Depends on what you intend to do."

"What if I said I'd be willing to let you outlive your kink of me tied to a chair if you let me do ANYTHING I want right now?"

Spike raised his eyebrow. "What you gonna do pet?"

"This." Xander said, pinning the vampire's wrists to the headboard and tying them with the rope.

"Spike? Have I told you how much I love you since we woke up?"

"Nope pet, you haven't." Spike said, smiling tenderly.

Xander couldn't help but grin at the sight. His vampire tied to the bed, naked and hard, smiling at him. "I love you." He whispered before adding. "Mine."

"Yours pet." Spike whispered. "Love you."

Xander smiled and gently caressed the vampire's cheek. "I'm yours too you know."

"Thought that was obvious enough, luv."

"Well, yeah, but..." Xander leaned over Spike and kissed him teasingly. "Tonight, you're MINE." He growled.

The End.