//I never thought something like this could be so wonderful. There is a beautiful deadly killer sitting behind me. Taking care of me. Making me feel so wonderful and so amazing I almost can't stand it. Spike feels incredible behind me. I've never had a male lover. I wonder how much I've been missing out. Anya, Faith, Cordelia, no one has made me feel so out of control with just a few caresses. He hasn't even touched me. He seems to be teasing me, tormenting me, making me remember that he really is evil, that he really has over 100 years of experience on me.//

Spike moved his hand to grab the soap and his cock pressed against Xander, making the mortal groan. //I made him that way. Me, the Zeppo, made William the Bloody hard! // Spike settled back into the tub and started to lather the soap in his hands until there were smooth bubbles. Then he started to rub them on Xander. The boy dropped his head forward sighing slightly as the vampire started to clean him from the neck down.

Spike gently stroked the delicate neck, wondering how the mortal could trust him so much. He started rubbing the soap down Xander's neck and followed the line down Xander's arms. When he reached the hands of the mortal in front of him, he let go and kissed the brunette's head then pushed him gently forward.

"Tell me if this hurts, luv?" Xander sighed. //I don't think he could ever hurt me. //

Spike moved the soap from one hand to the other, he didn't know how to do this without hurting Xander. His arms were a mess of bruises and cuts, as well as his back. But the whelp trusted him, and he was going to prove him right. Spike placed his hands on Xander's shoulder, waiting for the hiss he was expecting.

Xander groaned. //It hurts but it feels so good too. //

"Ya okay num... Xan?" //What was he going to say? Num...??//

Xander hummed. "Yeah. I'm okay." Spike slowly put more pressure on Xander's shoulder and moved lower and lower. Then Spike noticed something unusual. There were scars on Xander's lower back. They were criss crossed and some seemed very old. When Spike laid his hand on them, he felt Xander tense up. //No, no. He's going to find me ugly. Why would he want a damaged man? //

"Xan, luv, where did you get these?"

Xander moved a little away from the vampire. //He's going to leave me. Why would a master vampire wants someone who couldn't even hold his own against his father ?//

"Nowhere." Xander tried to stand up, but was encircled by cool arms.

"Spike, let me go!" Instead of feeling the arms letting go, he felt a tug from the vampire to sit back down. Since Xander knew that he couldn't make the vampire let go, he sat back hoping that if the scars were out of sight, then they would be out of Spike's mind.

"So ya gonna tell me luv?"

"No." Xander whispered. Spike growled lightly. He wanted to know what happened so he could kill whatever, or whoever, did it, very slowly.

"Fine, then I'll have to guess." Spike pulled Xander closer so he could rest his head on the boy's shoulder making sure not to press on the bruises. "Well, let's see... It's not the slayer or any of the scoobies. None of them could stomach it much less do it to someone they care about. Not a demon either. Would have heard about that in the gossip mill. That leaves your family." Xander tensed. "So they did it?" Xander nodded slightly, on the verge of tears. Spike growled.

"Xander, luv, did you dad did this?" Xander nodded again and sniffed. "That bloody bastard. M'gonna skin him, very slowly." Spike's eyes flashed gold and his true face emerged. "Jes like Angelus did to my father." Xander's head shot up and he turned towards Spike.

"What?"

"My father was an arse. Jes like yours luv." Spike said growling.

"You mean... your father..."

"Yup. That's where the scars came from, luv. The bloody pillock had a horrible temper. An' I was never good enough for him. Used to beat us if we did anythin' wrong, my sis and me. Didn't want him to get his bloody hands on her, she was so delicate and beautiful. Took the brunt of it, I did..." He paused then whispered. "I miss her."

Xander turned as much as he could in the tub and wrapped his arms around the vampire. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right luv. She would have liked ya though. "

"What happened to her?" Xander started to stroke the blonde's hair.

"I got her out of there before Angelus started to destroy the house and kill everyone. She got married and had a litter of kids. Even called one of them William after me." Spike smiled.

"So you really are Uncle Spike?"

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, I am, pet." The two of them sat there, both enjoying a companionship that they never thought they could find.

"We better get this bath done with, luv. The water's gettin' chilly." Spike's voice ended the peaceful silence they sat in. Xander sighed and started to pull away from the vampire, but Spike stopped him.

"Where are ya going Xan? Need to get ya front clean." Xander felt the blood rushing back to his groin at the soft words coming from Spike. He leaned back against the vampire and sighed.

"Ok. Clean me." He giggled slightly. Spike kissed his neck gently.

"With pleasure luv." He massaged the suds into Xander's neck and gently stroked it down his arms, more down his collarbone, caressing the hollow he found there.

"Ya so beautiful Xan." He said as he nuzzled Xander's neck. Spike let his hands run over Xander's chest until he reached his nipples. He started to rub them gently as he nibbled on Xander's ear. The boy hissed and tried to bury himself further into Spike's arms.

"Spike." He moaned as one of the hands that were torturing him wandered further south. When it reached his belly button, a finger started entering and exiting the dip suggestively, circling it and gently pulling on Xander's skin. The boy arched into the hand and moaned loudly. //Oh God... Oh God... How can something like this feel so good? //

"Imagine this is ya entering me pet. Entering me slowly, teasing me, tormenting me. Making me want to beg for more. Can ya feel me tight around ya pet?" Xander groaned. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so hard. Spike gently twisted the nipple he was still playing with. Xander moaned loudly.

"Ya want more luv?" Xander nodded vigorously. Spike laughed and let go of the nipple. He moved that hand down to more interesting regions.

*****
Part 19:

Spike's hand reached down to the brown curls, his finger gently twisting and tugging the hair. Xander moaned loudly. Spike walked his fingers to the shaft and slowly began to tease the head. Xander arched and pushed into Spike, crying in pleasure and feeling the vampire's cock poke him in the back.

Spike moaned at the pressure that the move made on his very hard cock. He gripped Xander's member harder, making the boy cry out again. Both were lost in a circle of ecstasy.

Spike slowly began to stroke Xander's hard shaft, teasing him. Xander couldn't take it anymore and started to thrust back into Spike's hand.

"Enough teasing Fangless." He said his voice hoarse with desire.

Spike started stroking faster and faster, each stroke making Xander howl in pleasure and earning Spike a nice rub against his own aching shaft.

"Oh God. Spike. So Good. So Good. Don't stop." Xander moaned endlessly.

Hearing him, Spike growled in pleasure. //Hell, he's so perfect. So bloody perfect. Most responsive lover I ever had. //

Spike rubbed a nipple with his thumb, while his other hand was busy stroking. He buried his face in the hollow of Xander's neck and started to lick there. He had no intention of biting. Xander tensed slightly then enjoyed the shivers it was sending through his body.

"Oh Spike!"

Spike felt that Xander was near. He left the nipple, earning a disappointed moan from his lover and wandered further south, taking Xander's balls in his hand, squeezing them slightly and stroked the boy's cock harder.

"Oh Spike! Spike! I'm cumming. I'm cumming." Xander suddenly arched his back and cried out. "SPIKE!" His orgasm rushed through him. "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God." He kept moaning as the pleasure slowly subsided.

Spike kept nuzzling Xander's neck for a little while. When the boy was finally still, he brought his hand to his mouth and licked it clean.

"Mmm. Luv. Ya taste so good. Ya really are a nummy treat."

"Nummy... nummy treat?" Xander asked, his voice still shaky.

"Ya... remember when I lived I ya basement? Told ya, ya were a nummy treat then... didn't know jes how true that was until now."

Xander laughed lightly and kissed his lover. Both of them were drawn in the kiss. Finally, Spike let go of Xander's lips and helped him get up. Xander protested lightly.

"We should get out luv. Water's cold now and I don't want ya to get sick... ya already in a bad shape."

"All right." Spike got out of the bath and helped Xander do the same. Doing that, he noticed the vampire's still hard shaft.

"Ummm... shouldn't I... take care of that?"

Spike followed Xander's gaze and looked at his groin, a little surprised by the boy's question. He laughed lightly.

"Ya can do that in bed luv. When ya all dry an' soft an' warm." He trailed off, leaning over Xander and handing him a towel. Xander began to dry himself, but the pain was still quite bad. Spike took another towel and quickly dried himself before helping Xander. When both of them were finally completely dry, Spike kissed Xander's lips tenderly.

"Bed. Now. Luv."

"Yeah bed"

*****
Part 20

Xander's POV

//I really don't know what happened to me. I just more or less had SEX with Spike! And it was awesome. He made me feel things I'd never felt before. It was like he knew all the places to touch to make me go crazy. I wonder if I could do the same for him. I've never touched another man before. Not that way anyway. And I feel so tired. I know I should.//

"What ya thinkin' luv?" Spike gently helped him get in the bed and tucked him under the covers.

"I'm. I don't really know." Spike looked at him and began to laugh lightly.

"Ya don't know what ya thinkin' about?" //God I love to hear him laugh. He should do it more often.//

"Nope, I don't. My head's thinking all by itself and I can't stop it." Spike let out a loud laugh and looked at him, his eyes so warm, Xander felt himself melt inside. "Come here." He said, opening his arms.

Spike didn't think twice and climbed into bed, taking his lover in his arms. He gently caressed Xander's cheek and looked into his eyes. //God I never felt like this, ever. He's so sweet. I never thought he could be like this. But this week he has been so different from before. I wonder what made him change so much.//

"Ya tired luv. Should get some sleep." Xander looked at him, a bit shocked. //He still hasn't got off.//

"But...your...you...?" He said gesturing down to Spike's very evident erection.

"Oh. that. I can take care of that meself. Don't worry Xan. Ya really need to sleep an' ya in no shape to take care of it." //He's going to... God. I never thought I would want to see a man jerk off. But right now I really don't want to go to sleep! I know I can't take the matter in hand myself, but I want to see. I wanna see his face distorted in pleasure. How kinky is that? I KNOW I'm be blushing. And he's looking at me funny.//

"What?"

"Ya thinking again!"

Xander laughed. "Yeah, I am. But it's good thinking."

"Really, what are ya thinkin' about?"

"I'm thinking about you naked. Well, you already are." Xander watched has Spike disentangled himself from his embrace and leaned against the head board.

"You thinking about this luv?" The vampire took his cock in his fist and slowly began stroking it.

//GOD! He's doing it!// The boy began breathing hard, becoming aroused again.

"Ya like it don't ya? Watching me like this?" His hand was caressing gently the tip of his cock, slowly going over it, then down his shaft and back up.

"Oh yeah!" Xander moaned. He really didn't want him to stop. It was a real fantasy.

"Mmmm, ya want me to tell ya a bedtime story?" //What's he gonna do now? Bedtime story? OH God! He wouldn't would he?//

"Sure." He managed.

"Ya naked on the bed. Jes like now, but no covers. Ya so beautiful Xan. So perfect. All hard muscles and broad shoulders. And skin. Love touching ya skin. So soft luv. Ya cock is hard, jes like mine. I want you. All of ya. And ya want me don't ya?"

"Oh yeah! I want you." //I really can't believe I'm doing this. Well there are a lot of things I never thought I would be doing and yet, I did them! Just look at the bath. That was awesome. And now I'm hard again, just from watching him touching himself. He's so beautiful, lost in the ecstasy of a fantasy. And I'm going to help him.// "I wanna touch you everywhere Fangless."

"Yeah!" He moaned. "Ya kissin' down my neck, stoppin' to nibble at my collarbone. Ya leave a wet trail behind. Move down towards my nipples. You take one in your mouth. Oh Yeah! So good luv, so warm!" While he told the story, his free hand was tracing the path the imaginary mouth was taking. Twisting his nipple and moaning deep, Spike kept stroking his shaft. His eyes were now closed tight, giving in the fantasy, he was in a world of his own.

"Oh Xan! Ya move down again. Kissing and caressing my stomach. Oh, ya feel so good! Ya hands on either side of me, caressing my backside and then my hips. Your tongue dips in my navel." As he said that, his finger began thrusting in his navel. "Ya tease me with ya tongue, slowly entering me, then pulling out, an' coming back in. It's jes my navel, but it feels more than that. It's like ya really inside me, burnin' me. An' I love it. I love feelin' ya in me, around me."

//Oh My God, this is so hot! He looks so hot like this.//

"Ya continue your way down and let ya hands wander on my thighs. Up and down. Slowly caressing the inside. Finally, ya mouth finds my cock and you take it in. Teasin' the head, then lickin' the sides, while one of ya hands hold the base. The other one find my balls." He began to stroke faster, the vision clearly arousing him to no end. His free hand grabbed his balls and he began squeezing them.

"God Xan, ya sooooo good!" He moaned. He couldn't talk anymore, he was so near. //God, I want him so much right now, but I'm so tired I can't even touch him. He's so fucking hot!//

Spike increased his pace, both hands stroking and squeezing in earnest. Suddenly he went completely still and Xander watched as his back arched high over the bed and he screamed. "XANDER!!! OH YES!!" He came hard. A flow of cold cum shooting high in the air and falling back on his belly. He resumed stroking, not wanting it to be over, but finally, there was nothing left and he was completely drained.

He was panting when he turned towards Xander. The boy was breathing hard and clearly aroused, he was drooling. //Oh GOD! that was awesome. And I'm so hard now!// He tried to reach for his cock, but he ached all over. The day had been really long and he was too tired to bring himself off.

"Loved that didn't ya luv? There, let me take care of that for ya." He gently took the covers out of the way and leaned over Xander, kissing him hard and passionately.

"No more playin' Xan. Ya really need to sleep. M'gonna do this fast, but good." With one last kiss, he moved down Xander's body and took the boy's cock deep into his mouth. He deep throated him, then slowly pulled back until just the tip was left in his mouth.

//GOD he's sooo good at that! Anya never had a clue!// "OH Spike! You're so good!" The vampire sucked on the head, hard, then he took the shaft deep in his mouth again. He took Xander's balls in his hand and squeezed them hard. Feeling the rush coursing through them towards Xander's cock, he quickly deep throated the boy one last time. "OH SPIKE!!! OH GOD!!"

Xander came deep into Spike's throat. The vampire swallowed every bit of his lover's cum, milking him. finally Xander was completely drained. He couldn't move, he couldn't even think. He was so tired, but truly content.

Spike came back to his side and took him in a tender hug. He reached for the covers and pulled them over their bodies, wanting to keep as much warmth as possible.

Xander felt sleep coming, but he still had something to say. "Spike I..."

"Shhh, Xan, we can talk tomorrow, you sleep now."

"No I just..." The words were hard to find and he was so tired. He yawned. Still he really needed to tell him. "I think I'm falling in love with you." He whispered. Finally done, he drifted to sleep.

*****
Part 21:

//Bloody Hell!// Spike thought as he looked, shocked, at Xander's sleeping form. The boy was breathing steadily, his head on Spike's shoulder and his arms tightly wrapped around himself.

The sight mesmerized the vampire. He couldn't take his eyes away from him. //He looks like a small kid. He looks like an angel.// He turned his eyes away. //Bloody Hell, where did that thought come from? He's not a soddin' angel. He's human.// He looked back at him and his heart melted again. //Don't really matter. He's beautiful. And I'm gonna make him mine.//

Spike closed his eyes and hugged Xander tightly to his chest, making sure not to hurt the boy. //He's so warm and soft and beautiful. I can't believe he's here with me... Hell, what happened to me? When did I become so poofy? And romantic? Don't matter. I think... I think I'm falling in love with him too. But How can he love me? I'm a demon, and evil soulless vampire. He can't love me. Not him. He's always hated me. He even hates the Poof, and he has a soul at least.

I don't have a bloody soul and I'm acting like a nancy boy anyway. Or maybe I do. I remember Dru saying I was never a true vampire. My 'feelings' were too human she used to say. Maybe that's why she left me. Maybe my soul never really deserted me. Maybe it's still there, lurking, and just waiting for the right moment to come forth. Like this. Me falling in love with the whelp. Maybe that was suppose to happen and bring my soul back to me. Maybe HE'S my bloody soul.// He looked at the sleeping boy in his arms and smiled.

/Hmm, I think I should stop brooding, I'm really going crazy. But I think I got a point there, love makes me what I am. I'm love's bitch. I do what my heart tells me too. When I was with Angelus, I killed and maimed, to please him, then with Dru, I was sweet and caring, but still a killer. And now, with Xan, I'm gonna take care of him and all his bloody friends and I'll save the lives of all the bloody humans on Earth, because I want him to love me.//

Spike slowly ran his hand up and down Xander's back. //Yeah, I love him. I don't know what happened and why I love him, but I do, and I'm gonna claim him and make him mine. Cause I'm not letting him go. Ever. Well, he'll want to grow old and die, so I guess I'll have to let him go then. But I'll stay around and take care of all the scoobies' great-grandchildren. God, how pathetic is that?//

Another voice rose in his head. //It's not pathetic. It's love.//

//Yeah. bloody love.// He leaned and whispered in Xander's ear. "I love you too love." Finally, he settled back against the pillow and let sleep come.

***Xander's POV

Xander stirred on the bed and slowly opened his eyes. He heard the door closing gently and looked up. He was alone in the room, but he knew Spike had been there just a few seconds ago and he smiled. He could still smell the vampire on the pillow. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

"Hey pet? you awake?"

Xander opened his eyes and looked at the door. He hadn't even heard the vampire come back in.

"Yeah." He smiled awkwardly at Spike.

"How ya feeling this morning luv?" Spike said as he approached the bed slowly.

"Much better thanks." He smiled. "I think the bath helped." He blushed.

"Knew it would." Spike smiled at Xander's embarrassment and sat down on the edge of the bed. //Kiss me. Please kiss me.// Xander chanted in his head, looking at Spike's lips. He really wanted to kiss him, but he was too shy, still sleepy.

Spike smiled and gently took Xander's head in his hands. He leaned in and captured the boy's lips with his own. The kiss was tender and chaste. Their lips meet in a gentle embrace, but neither of them felt the urge to explore the other's mouth. They just let their lips touch.

They slowly broke the kiss and looked into each other's eyes. Spike slowly caressed Xander's cheek with the back of his fingers. Xander leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

//God, I feel so good. This is the best morning kiss I ever had.// Xander felt like the world had suddenly stopped. He slowly wrapped his arms around the vampire and pulled him closer. He could still feel a bit of pain, but he was so relaxed that it was ok.

To his surprise, the vampire didn't push him like he had thought he would. //Who would have thought Spike gave in to hugs?// On the contrary, Spike hugged him closer and rested his head on the boy's hair, closing his eyes.

"Made you breakfast luv." He whispered. Xander was even more surprised.

"You cook?" He whispered back, not moving. //I feel too good, I don't wanna move. But food... mmm. Dilemma//

"Yeah, I do. Jes for you."

"Should I be scared?"

"Why scared luv?"

"Well, if you're only cooking for me, means you have never cooked before... Maybe you're trying to poison me."

Spike chuckled. "No luv. Know how to cook I do. What I meant is, don't tell the scoobies, or I'll have to cook them a bloody dinner." Xander laughed lightly and hugged Spike closer.

Spike leaned into the touch for a moment. "Know what we can do Xan?" Xander shook his head, still hugging the vampire closely.

"I could bring breakfast here and hold you while you eat." Xander smiled and looked up.

"You'd do that?"

Spike smiled back at him. "Sure luv. You're hungry and I'm cold. I have the breakfast you are the heater. It's as simple as that."

Xander chuckled. "All right." But he didn't let go of the vampire.

"Luv, if you want me to go get your food, you should let me go."

"Don't want to." Came the muffled answer. Xander slowly unwrapped his arms and looked at Spike. "You're coming back fast?"

Spike smiled and gave him a quick kiss.

Xander looked at Spike, not able to move, as the vampire walked to the door and into the kitchen. He slowly brought his fingers to his lips and touched them. //God. He's so sweet.// He shook his head and realised he really needed to go to the bathroom.

When he came back, Spike was on the bed, leaning against the headboard and food was scattered on the bed. There were pancakes and bacon, maple syrup and eggs. Spike was only wearing his jeans, and he looked gorgeous. Xander licked his lips at the sight of both the food and the vampire.

Spike had his legs slightly apart, with just enough space for Xander to sit between them. The boy sat down, taking care not to send any of the food on to the floor, it would be a waste.

He turned his head and kissed Spike lightly on the lips. "Thanks...you...er.this looks yummy" Blushing at his slip, he looked in front of him and began to eat the pancakes.

Spike wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on his shoulder. "No problem luv. You like it?"

Xander nodded, his mouth full.

"So... I look yummy?"

Xander choked and swallowed hard.

Spike laughed lightly and gently ran his hands up and down Xander's back.

"You're yummy too Xan."

Xander blushed even more and looked intently at his food. "M'not..."

"Yeah, you are. Take my word for it luv."

Xander suddenly turned around and kissed Spike hard. //He tastes so good.// When they broke the kiss, Spike licked his lips and smiled at Xander.

"And you taste very good too." //Is he reading my thoughts?// Xander settled back into Spike's arms.

"Should eat luv. All your friends'll be here soon." Xander growled. He didn't want to leave Spike's arms but he knew he couldn't tell them just yet. None of them would understand.

"I know luv. Don't want to confront them either. We'll just have to play our parts for a while and then, when they're gone..." He trailed off, leaving the rest to Xander's imagination.

//Oh God. I already can't wait until they're gone.// He gulped. //I just hope I'm not in too much pain to touch him tonight, I want to touch him.// Xander quickly ate the rest of his food, eagerly eating it all. It was a delicious after the hospital food.

"Yum. Spike, you're a good cook." He said, looking into the vampire's eyes. Spike gently pressed his lips against Xander's warm ones, and kissed him deeply. Xander settled more comfortably in the vampire's arms and let the feeling of the kiss spread through him.

Finally, they let go of each other's lips and Xander buried his head in Spike's shoulder. //I feel so good here.// They stayed like this for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of each other's body. Suddenly, they were both jolted back to reality by the harsh sound of the doorbell.

*****
Part 22:

***Xander's POV

Spike untangled himself from Xander's embrace and went to answer the door. Xander quickly got back under the covers, placing all the dishes on the nightstand.

"Hey Spike! How's Xan?" Willow asked cheerfully.

"He's good. Just finished breakfast. You're early Red."

"Yeah, I know. I wanted to talk to him before Buffy and Giles arrived." She added in a little conspiratorial voice. "There's something going on if you know what I mean."

Spike laughed loudly. "It's bloody time."

The both of them entered the bedroom and Willow sat on the edge of the bed while Spike took the dishes back to the kitchen.

"Hey! How are you feeling this morning Xan? Better?"

"Yeah, much better thanks. It's good to be out of the hospital." He smiled slyly at his best friend. "So... what's going on???"

"Well..." She smiled and became lost in thought.

"Hey, snap out of it Willow! I wanna know!"

"Oh, sorry."

Spike had come back into the room and was all ears. This promised to be interesting.

"Well... yesterday morning, when he came back, Buffy was very angry for like the first 5 seconds... But then she kinda withdrew... she didn't even talked to him. She was just... there, but not there at the same time... It was kinda scary." She took a deep breath. "Anyway... after we came back from the hospital, Giles was up and he started to talk to me, about magic and everything, and he completely ignored her... just like she had done to him in the morning. She didn't even say anything, but during dinner, she kept looking at him and eventually, she began to cry. Really quietly at first, I didn't even notice. But Giles did. He went to her and took her in his arms. She cried and cried. It was heartbreaking."

Willow looked at Xander. "I never saw how lost she was. But when she was there, sobbing in Giles' arms, I felt so guilty. I..." Willow felt the tears in her eyes.

"Wills, it's not your fault..."

"I know... she kept saying she finally found a reason to live, between her sobs. She was looking at Dawn and Giles... I really don't know what went through her head, but I saw HER."

"You saw bloody who??"

"Buffy. I saw our Buffy, through the tears and the sobbing and everything. She's back Xan. And it's because of Giles. I know it is."

Xander smiled in triumph. "I knew he could do it. I knew!" Willow took her best friend in her arms and cried tears of joy.

"And then... this morning, they kept finishing each other's sentences and they were making breakfast, singing... and... God, they looked like an old married couple or something!! Dawn saw it too. They were moving together like they'd been living together for years. I think they even realised it."

Xander raised his eyebrows, thinking. //Buffy and the G-man? That's even scarier then me and Spike... uh... not sure about that... But, if what Willow's saying is right... then they might be good for each other... I've always thought they were close... never thought THAT close though.//

Spike was smiling, like a predator that had trapped his prey. Willow looked at him. "What is it Spike?"

"What Red?"

"This look on your face... what are you thinking about?"

"Always knew they wanted each other. They just were too stupid to see it. Now that they bloody well do, maybe the Slayer can go back to kicking asses... Not mine though... Love it where it is thanks."

//So do I.// thought Xander lazily. He pulled himself up as he caught his eyes wandering to said ass. //Really can't think like that while Willow is here.// he scolded himself... he glanced up to find Spike staring at him with warm and slightly lustful eyes.

Willow caught the look and it's intensity.

"Guys?"

"Yeah."

"What's with the looks??"

Spike and Xander gulped and looked away. "Nothing..." They were saved by the doorbell.

"Gotta answer that." Spike said sidling out of the room.

Willow looked at Xander suspiciously.

"Xander??? What's going on around here?"

Xander looked at his friend and couldn't stop himself from blushing. "Nothing, nothing's going on."

"Then why are you...?"

"Hey Guys!!" Buffy interrupted, coming in the room smiling broadly, followed by Giles and Dawn.

Giles looked at Xander, still in bed and smiled. "You seemed better today Xander."

"Yeah, I am. I feel much better." He turned to look at Buffy. //Finally, I can see her. Her smile is just back to normal, that beautiful, wide smile that reaches her eyes... uh... maybe I should be a poet!//

"You seem great Buffster! it's good to have you around!"

Buffy sat down beside her friend. "You missed me?"

"Oh Yeah!" Xander said nodding.

"Well, I'm back and kicking asses." Then she said in her best Grammy-award-winner voice. "And I would like to thank my friends for supporting me all along and helping me. Particularly one bad ass vampire that kept listening to me complain about life..." She looked around. "Where is he, by the way?"

"M'here, just clearing things up so the whelp can sit on the couch." They looked at each other in shock while Xander smiled warmly.

"Spike, cleaning?? uh oh. That doesn't seem right... Uh... I think I'm confused, did I miss his sudden conversion to housemaid?" Buffy looked at Xander. "I missed a lot things and I screwed up more than a few others, but I'm sure I would noticed that!"

"I can hear you slayer!" Spike said from the living room. "And m'not a bloody housemaid."

Xander laughed. "You just keep telling yourself that fangless!"

"You don't say anything whelp or... I won't do anything. And I mean ANYTHING."

Xander gulped and didn't answer. //Will he really do that? Deny me... what he wants too... I really don't wanna find out!//

Willow looked at Xander suspiciously, but didn't say anything. They would have a nice best friend to best friend talk later.

"What does he mean by that?" Dawn asked. Xander shook his head and made some signs so she understood he wasn't talking at all.

"Spike??" Dawn yelled. "Tell Xander he can talk please???"

Spike came in the room. "Listening to me, are you whelp?" Xander nodded. "If I had known that would shut you up, I would have tried it earlier."

Xander laughed and shook his head.

"Ok... you too are weird. A week ago, you couldn't stand each other and now... you're joking around!" Buffy seemed really shocked. "I really missed something, didn't I? I mean how can you two joke like that and not be at each other's throats?? And Spike? Since when do you take care of people?" Buffy was pleading for answers. She was really confused.

Spike looked at her. "Been taking care of people for a long time ago... just never the right ones."

"And Xander's the right one?" Willow asked gently.

Xander's breath caught in his throat and Spike looked shocked. He turned towards Willow. The vampire's eyes told her all that she needed to know. Yes. He was.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec... what are you talking about Wills?" Buffy looked at Giles, then back at Willow.

"Mmm, nothing, nothing..."

"We should go in the living room." Giles said, stopping any more questions Buffy might have. While everyone was getting up, Xander placed his hand on Willow's arm and mouthed 'later'. She nodded. They followed the others into the living room and Xander sat on the couch, all his friends around him.

"Anyone knows if Anya's still on my case?" Xander asked the gang, hoping the tension would leave with small talk.

"Well, after the other day at the hospital, I don't think she'll come back." Buffy said. "I think D'Hoffryn and Halfrek made it clear to her that personal vengeance was off limits."

Xander looked around and noticed most of her things were gone. Still he would have some cleaning up to do if he wanted to wash some memories away. He might be falling for a vampire, a male one at that, but it was still painful.

"Yeah... she was kinda scary at the hospital..." His face lit up. "By the way, we got another honorary scooby guys!"

"What??" Asked Giles, shocked. Another to take care of?

"Oh, don't worry G-man, not fighting or anything." He smiled. "It's just that Doctor Vic kinda saw Anya and Hallie and he asked for the whole story..."

Giles shook his head. "A doctor?"

"Yeah, Spike and I filled him in... Well not on everything, he doesn't really know Buffy was dead but... anyway, then he gave me his personal phone number and pager, so we can just give him a call when we're hurt."

"I would very much like to meet this doctor. He might be extremely helpful." Giles smiled.

Buffy leaned her head on her watcher's shoulder. "Does that mean you'll stay? If you want to meet him and talk to him about what we do... you're going to stay right?"

Giles gently brushed her cheek and looked at her. "I'm not leaving again."

"Promise?" She asked in a small voice.

"Promise." Giles said very seriously.

Xander, Willow, Dawn and Spike looked at each other knowingly and smiled.

"Watcher? Why don't you take the slayer home? M'sure she'd like some cuddling." Giles looked up and blushed furiously. Buffy didn't even move. She really didn't wanna argue with Spike.

"Spike..."

"What watcher? Want me to tell you how to do it?"

"That enough Spike!" Came the muffled response from Buffy. She looked up. "I have a stake with your name on it, don't forget that." She was blushing too, but tried to hide it.

Dawn, Xander and Willow exchanged a knowing look and changed the subject. They talked for a long time, about nothing in particular, just catching up on each others lives, especially Giles', they wanted to know everything about England. Even Spike joined in.

Buffy settled back into Giles' arms, not caring about all the comments Spike made. The vampire stayed by Xander's side and continually made sure he was ok. Willow grew more and more curious as she watched the two of them.

//Gotta talk to Wills soon, or she'll go crazy.// Xander thought as he watched his best friend watching Spike.

He knew Dawn had found out with the first look she gave Spike, but she hadn't said anything. Xander was really worried about how Buffy would take it.

//Now's not the time to think about that.// Xander felt himself becoming very tired, as the conversation started on Angel and the LA crew. Everybody was very curious about what they had been up to. Even Spike.

"Pet? Should get you in bed. You're yawning and your eyes are closing."

"Don't wanna go to sleep mommy." Everyone laughed.

"Spike is right Xander, you do look tired. You should go back to bed." Giles said. "We'll come back tomorrow."

"All right. I'll go." He smiled at his friends. "It was great guys. It felt like we were seniors again. I so miss the library right now."

"So do I." Giles stated as the others nodded.

They all stood up and stretched their sore muscles.

"Bye Xan. Take care." Buffy said, as she, Dawn and Giles were leaving. The girls hugged Xander close, still trying not to hurt him.

"Bye guys." He smiled as they left. //That was great. I missed that so much.// He turned around to realise Willow was still there. //Uh oh. Time for a confession.//

*****
Part 23:

Xander bowed his head down, avoiding Willow's eyes, and headed for the couch. He sat down and pushed his hand through his hair, then looked up at her with a sheepish smile.

Spike was nowhere in sight, but Xander knew he was listening.

Willow looked at him suspiciously. "Spill Xan. What is it?"

"Huh?" Xander feigned ignorance.

"Xander. There's something going on that you're embarrassed to talk about. Now spill." Willow continued encouragingly. "I'm your best friend, I'm not going to judge you.... you know that, right?"

Xander looked up at her. "I'm gay." He said going straight to the point.

Willow stopped breathing, stunned.

"Breathe Wills, breathe."

Willow shook her head and gave her friend an intense look, trying to break out of her daze. "You're... you're..." She stuttered.

"Yes. I. Am. Gay." Xander said, speaking to her like he would a five year old.

"Huh." She shook herself out of her thoughts. "Sorry... I mean... wow... great for you... and... huh... wow... When did you...?"

"Find out?" Xander finished for her, smiling. Willow nodded. "Not long ago... When was it Spike?" He raised his voice slightly.

"Three days ago pet!" Came the reply from the kitchen.

Willow looked back and forth from the direction of the kitchen to her smiling friend. "You mean...?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively. Xander nodded once, bracing himself for the storm that he knew was coming.

"Are you completely stupid Xander?" Willow screamed, jumping to her feet. "Are you nuts? That demon shook your head a little too much?"

Spike stormed into the room, almost in game face. "HEY! Don't you go yelling at him like that Red!"

Willow ignored him. "First you leave Anya at the altar and now you're telling me you're gay and with SPIKE? Have you lost your mind?"

"Willow that hurts." Xander whispered.

"You don't have the right to judge him you bint! You said it yourself! So now shut your bloody mouth!!" Spike went to grab her but was interrupted by Xander.

"Calm down now, BOTH of you!" The boy yelled, moving to stand between them.

He pulled on his wounds, as he moved too quickly. " Ahhhh..." He stopped abruptly and took a deep breath, trying to ease to pain.

As soon as he saw his lover in pain, Spike was at his side, gently moving him back to the couch. "There Love, sit down." He helped Xander to sit down and started to inspect the wounds.

"Spike I'm all right." Xander said gently, his eyes warm.

Willow hadn't moved at all during the scene. She stood there watching in shock as Xander placed a small chaste kiss on Spike's lips. The vampire smiled and Willow's heart turned to mush. She could clearly see the love between the two and reluctantly realised she would have to accept this.

"Xander? What happened to you?" She asked gently. "Where's my Xander?"

"I'm here Wills, I just grew up." He answered looking at her. He had Spike's hand in his and was stroking the palm gently. "I finally realised things that never made sense before... now my life makes sense." He looked into Spike's eyes. "I grew up." He repeated.

Willow smiled affectionately at the clearly happy couple sitting on the couch. She sat opposite to them.

Xander looked up at her. "Right now, You reacted the way I expect Buffy will." He said jokingly.

"Sure did Red. Maybe you spend too much time with her slayerness." Spike added laughing lightly.

Willow blushed. "Sorry... this is a bit too much for me... I kinda thought... earlier when you were in your room... I thought you were gonna tell me you had become friends... but this..." She gestured at their intertwined hands. "That's so not what I was expecting."

Xander looked directly into Willow's eyes. She tried to avoid them. "Wills, look at me." He said gently. She looked at him, her eyes asking so many questions. "You remember what you told me in the hospital the other day?"

Willow remembered. //He seems to care a lot for you. You know, like he likes you.// Her own voice echoed in her head. //Xander, face it. He's there for you and he takes care of you, what more do you need to prove to you that he cares?... He likes you a lot you know. Despite all the comments and insults...// She nodded. //Xander, face it.//

She whispered. "Yeah, I remember."

She smiled at her friend. Xander smiled back warmly. "You were right. So right Wills..." He looked back at Spike, his eyes full of affection.

Spike was puzzled. "What did you say Red? Was it about me?"

Willow laughed lightly and nodded. "Yeah it was... but it's our secret for now." She smiled at Xander and stood up. "I'm going now, I still need to process all this and deal with it... I guess... you guys don't want anyone else to know right?" They nodded. "Ok... I think it's better this way... Buffy might try to stake Spike... Though if we're right about... her and a certain watcher, she won't have anything to say."

She smiled wickedly at Xander. "You take care of yourself." Then she turned to Spike. "You take care of him, or I'll take care of you and you really don't wanna see me pissed." Spike gulped and nodded. The witch had power, it was better not to piss her off.

Xander felt like bouncing, but remembering his injuries settled for a big grin, his friend had accepted it. Well, at least for now she had. "Night Wills... I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Willow opened the door and looked at them. "Night guys... Spike, don't keep him up too late, he needs to rest."

"Sure Red. Don't have to worry. I'll take good care of him." The vampire answered smiling at his lover.

Willow closed the door and shook her head in disbelief as she walked home.

*****