Title: Camp Out

Email: tirel@pcnuthut.com

Author: Velvet Crypt

Disclaimer: Joss is God. I own nothing.

Spoilers: AU. 4 years after season 6. Scoobies are 25. Dawn is 21.

Summary: Dawn has an idea for a camp out. The boys get wrangled into it.

“I have the best idea.” Spike and Xander exchanged a look. Dawn saw and smacked Xander lightly on the arm. “Really. I have a great idea.”

“What Dawnie?” Willow grinned.

“I think we should go camping.”

Willow’s eyes lit up. She grasped Tara’s arm and began bouncing. “I haven’t been camping in forever! That sounds like fun!”

Tara smiled at her girlfriend and nodded in agreement. Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded.

“There’s been little to no vampire activity lately. I think that last apocolypsy thingy wore the bad guys out.”

She looked at Giles with an evil grin. “Wanna come camping?”

Giles removed his glasses and shuddered. “Heavens no. I’ll stay here and guard the home fires. You go on and have fun.”

Dawn turned on Xander. “You’re coming, right?”

Xander’s eyes got wide. He looked uneasily from female to female. All had an expectant look on their face. All of it boded poorly for a member of the testosterone-enhanced gender.

“Errr…” was his brilliant response.

“Oh, go on, mate.” Spike smirked. “It sounds just lovely. All that fresh air and wide-open space, no evil to worry about for days. You can’t pass up a chance like that.”

Xander narrowed his gaze. “Yeah, Spike. It sounds amazing. Too amazing to keep to myself. Isn’t is great that you’re going with us too?”

Spike looked startled. Willow and Tara giggled. Buffy sighed. Dawn did a happy dance.

“This is great!” she whooped. “We can leave tomorrow.”

“Ehem…excuse me?” Spike called out. “Are we forgetting something? Combustible vampire here?”

Xander threw a companiable arm around Spike. “Oh, I have the best place in mind. The trees are so thick there that no sun even gets through. There’s a lake and this really cute little bridge. You’ll be in seventh heaven, Spike.”

“Bloody hell, the things I do to amuse you damndable scoobies.”

_______________________________

“What are we getting here again?” Spike complained. “I hate Wal Mart.”

Xander grabbed a cart and headed to the rear of the store. “We are getting camping gear. Everything I had before Anya, my folks threw out. Everything I had after, she gave away to Goodwill.”

Spike snickered at the remembered vision of Anya directing a huge trailer back into the apartment’s parking lot, Xander standing with a shocked look on his face.

“I don’t think it’s fair that either one of us have memories of the other to inhibit our continued pursuit of romance.” She’d said, checking out the mover’s ass. “So, I am giving our collected and shared belongings to needy people.”

Xander couldn’t even protest. Spike led him away and they got very, very drunk that night. They wound up sleeping in Spike’s crypt, each rolled up into a mummy like blanket wrapped cocoon on either side of the bed.

After another night of that, Xander decided to hell with it, and got a new apartment. At first, Spike had been a daily visitor. He kept Xander company, cheered him up when he got the news that Anya was marrying the moving guy, and even went furniture shopping with him. Xander came to a decision in the furniture store. Much to Spike’s surprise, he bought two twin beds. He outfitted the one bedroom apartment in heavy dark shades, and then asked Spike to move in.

The scoobies were surprised, but quickly came to accept it, as Xander and Spike were together all the time anyway. Also, they hadn’t missed the way that Spike put aside his snarky comments and actually tried to help Xander over Anya.

So, here they were, in the sporting goods section of Wal Mart. Spike looked in confusion at all the doodads and took over the cart. “I have no idea what the hell we are looking for, mate. So, I’ll push…you fill the cart.”

Xander grinned and rubbed his hands together.

Spike rolled his eyes at Xander’s careful inspection of the sleeping bags. “What the hell are we looking for, whelp?”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, Spike,” he said patiently, “you are dead. You have no body heat. As cold as it gets in the mountains, you’ll wake up so frozen stiff that you can’t move.” He pointed to the sleeping bag he was poking at. “This is the heaviest bag they carry. It is filled with heat capturing fibers. It’s also guaranteed to withstand cold up to 30 degrees below zero. If we get a tent heater, it should warm the bag up enough that you’ll stay toasty all night.”

He went back to inspecting the bag and Spike looked down at his hands. He felt warmth spread through his chest and a smile cross his face. The whelp cared.

Xander threw two of the heavy bags into the cart and headed off to the tent section. He chose a 4-man tent. Big enough to have room to move, small enough to keep warm. Then he grabbed a tent heater.

Whistling a happy tune, he prowled through the cooking section, picking up a cook stove, propane, tarps, coolers and other miscellaneous items. Spike had to get another cart as Xander headed to the toy section.

There, he picked up floaties, scuba masks, and a huge beach ball. On to mens’ wear. He chose some warm clothes for the evenings for each of them, letting Spike pick the colors after much complaining, and then headed to the swimwear section. Spike headed for the one pair of shorts that Xander had hoped he would miss.

Grinning like a maniac, Spike held up the black Speedos. “I want these.” He threw them in the cart.

Great. If it weren’t bad enough I have to sleep in the same small enclosed space with him, I have to ignore how great his ass is going to look in that damn swimsuit.

He chose a pair of red ones out of spite, throwing them into the cart with an ‘hmph’. He didn’t notice Spike’s gaze heat up as it traveled from the Speedos to the ass that would be wearing them.

“Okay. Let’s get these things in the SUV, and we’ll go grocery shopping.” Xander headed for the checkout. Spike followed, still watching Xander’s ass.

_______________________________

“You want me to eat marshmallows, burned to a crisp in fire, off of a stick.” Spike stared at Xander.

“Yes, Spike. Not all marshmallows are the size that fit into your hot chocolate.” Xander laughed. “We also need some graham crackers and some chocolate bars. Can’t have a camp out without s’mores.”

S’mores? Spike mouthed at Xander’s back. He decided not to ask. He continued following Xander through the grocery store, positive that this was the most bizarre experience he’d had in years.

_______________________________

Spike and Buffy, of all strange combinations, stuck together while the others commenced unloading the SUV and setting up camp.

“What’s with the blonde bonding?” Xander grinned.

Dawn paused while hammering a tent stake in to look at the Slayer and the vampire huddled under a copse of trees. “Neither one of them have ever been camping.” She laughed. “You knew about Spike, but Buffy always considered herself too ‘cool’ to camp before slayage. After, well, there just was never any time. I think they’re both a bit out of their element.”

Willow and Tara set up the kitchen area while Dawn and Xander finished the tents. Buffy and Spike made themselves scarce and went to look at the lake in the moonlight.

“This is weird.” Buffy smiled.

Spike lit a cigarette and glanced at her. “Why’s that, luv?”

She poked him in the arm. “I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would one day be camping with my mortal enemy.”

Spike grinned. “Yeah.”

“So why’d you decide to come?”

Spike fidgeted. “The whelp is too damn pushy for his own good.”

Buffy nodded solemnly. “I’ve heard that about him.”

Spike flipped her a two-fingered salute and they headed back to the camp laughing.

As soon as they got in sight, Xander handed Spike an air pump and a mattress while Dawn did the same with Buffy. Both blondes stared at their hands in confusion.

“Oh, fer crying out…” Dawn sighed. “Blow the mattresses up. Whoever gets done first can blow up Willow and Tara’s. The other can start on the floaties.”

She headed off to help out in the ‘kitchen’ leaving Spike and Buffy staring helplessly at each other.

An hour later, everyone took a place around the campfire. All inflatables had been blown up, much to Spike and Buffy’s pride, and dinner was served.

“This is great, Wills.” Xander said around a mouthful of hamburger.

“Thanks, Xan.” She smiled. “Don’t forget you have to wait an hour before you go swimming, though.” Xander stopped chewing. He looked so heartbroken, that Willow caved. “Oh, all right. You can swim. As long as someone goes with you.”

Xander looked around the circle. Willow and Tara immediately shook their heads. Buffy held up her hands to ward his eyes off and Dawn actually laughed at him. He turned finally to Spike, beseeching him with his eyes. Spike shook his head.

“I’m not going in that water, mate. I’ll never warm back up if I leech all the heat out swimming around out there.” Spike tried to hold firm. “It’s freezing! Why would you want to freeze your arse off?” He felt himself waver at Xander’s warm, sad eyes. “No. And that’s final.” Xander let his gaze drop. Spike groaned. “Bloody hell. Fine. I’ll go. But it’s your fault if I turn into an ice cube and sink.”

Xander went back to happily chewing and Spike lit a cigarette, mumbling under his breath.

_______________________________

Spike stomped down the dock; moonlight illuminating his pale skin and hair. The girl’s drug chairs down to the edge of the beach and pulled out wine coolers. Xander followed behind, dragging the floaties. He stopped where the girls were and dropped his burden. He glanced up to locate Spike, his mouth open for a snarky comment, and his words died on his lips.

Spike popped the buttons on his jeans one-handed, and slid them down his hips with a little shimmy. Bending over, he pulled them off of his feet and stood clad only in the black Speedos Xander had bought him.

“Ooooo, nice choice,” Dawn grinned, watching the blonde vampire. “Shows off his tight ass.”

“Dawn!” Buffy giggled. “He does have a nice ass, doesn’t he?”

Xander drug his attention away from Spike long enough to shoot a glare at Buffy, who didn’t even notice. He turned back to ogle Spike. Spike paced the length of the dock, looking our over the inky black water.

“So, Buffy…” Willow grinned. “How is he in bed?”

Xander tensed.

“Oh. My. God.” Buffy waved her hand near her face, cooling it off. “He is…wow.” She laughed.

Xander let his mind wander, picturing that sleek, hard body writhing in his own bed. He could see Spike’s blue, blue eyes full of desire, need…love, for him.

“There’s just something about him. I dunno.” Buffy was continuing. “He can make you want to do things you’ve never even thought of trying. He makes you feel totally in control, but somehow, you know you’re not. I’ve honestly never been turned on like that by anyone else. Not even Angel. I don’t know how he does it.”

“It’s because his entire being exudes sex.” Xander breathed, staring at the object of his fantasy, not noticing the grins the girls were giving each other. “Every move he makes, every time he walks, or sits, or tilts his head…every gaze, every word, every smile…it’s like he’s daring you to fuck him.”

Xander became aware of the silence. He closed his eyes briefly. “That wasn’t my internal voice, was it?” He groaned.

Giggles. “Ummm, no.” Buffy replied.

“Excuse me, ladies. I’m going to go drown myself now,” He walked away quickly.

“Well, well, well,” Buffy grinned. “What do we have here?”

Dawn looked at her. “You mean you just figured it out?”

Buffy looked startled. “What? You knew?”

Willow chuckled. “It’s only soooo obvious, Buffy.”

Tara smiled sympathetically. “Sorry, we thought you knew.”

“So how long has Xander had the hots for Spike, then?” Buffy demanded.

“Oh, it’s not just Xander with the hots for Spike. Spike has a few hots for Xander too.” Dawn grinned.

“No, way.”

“Way.”

“He really does, Buffy.” Tara nodded.

“How do you figure?”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you noticed that Spike will do anything for Xander? Even if he won’t do it for anyone else? Even if he hates it?”

Buffy looked unconvinced. Dawn sighed.

“Okay. Demo time. Tara, you be Xander. Willow, you be Spike.”

The three girls giggled again.

“Okay, okay…” Dawn took a breath. “Spike, I need you to go patrolling for me. I have a date.” She imitated Buffy.

“Hell, no. Passions is on tonight. New episode. You’re bloody insane if you think I’m gonna miss that.” Replied Willow/Spike.

Buffy narrowed her eyes, remembering this conversation.

“Come on, Spike. You owe me.” Dawn/Buffy sounded miffed.

“No. N. O. Huh, uh. No way. Forget it.”

“Come on, Spike,” Tara/Xander said calmly. “You can record it. I’ll go with you and you can show me more of those jumpy kicky moves you’re so fond of.”

Willow/Spike sighed. “Bloody hell. Fine. But you’re letting me watch it first thing when we get home, right?”

“Of course, oh addicted one. First thing.” Tara/Xander laughed.

Buffy still didn’t look convinced. “Xander just gave some good advice. Just cause Spike took it doesn’t mean he’s madly in love with Xander.”

The other girls exchanged looks.

Tara sat up. “Spike, I don’t feel good.”

Willow/Spike hopped up and immediately began smoothing the hair away from Tara/Xander’s forehead.

“I can’t tell if you have a fever. Bloody no circulation.” Willow/Spike growled. “Lay still, pet. I’ll pile some blankets on you and get you some soup. Here, let me take your shoes and jeans off. You’ll be more comfy.”

“Oh, he’ll be fine.” Dawn/Buffy said. “He just needs to take a day off. He’ll probably be ready to patrol later tonight.”

“He bloody well will not!” Willow/Spike snapped. “He’s sick and will stay in bed until I decide he’s well enough to get up! Go be the Slayer alone for one night. Take the witches, or the Bit. My Xanpet isn’t moving.”

Buffy blushed. “Did I really sound that bitchy?”

Dawn leaned over and gave her a hug. “Of course not. Spike was just panicking and overreacted.”

Buffy sighed. “I guess he does look out for Xander before anyone else. And Xander can get him to do nearly anything for him.”

She looked out over the water to where the boys were standing on the dock. Spike grinned at Xander when he walked out.

“Ready for me to push you in, pet?”

Xander held up his hands, a smile appearing on his face, as though he’d not just humiliated himself in front of the bulk of his friends. “Not in these jeans. Let me get em off before you go shoving me off of the dock.”

Spike looked back to shore. “You forgot the floatie things. I’ll get them. You get your clothes off.” He waggled his eyebrows and Xander blushed. Xander watched as Spike set off back toward the beach and bit his lip at the way Spike’s ass moved in those tiny shorts.

Spike trotted up to the girls. “Hey luvs” He grinned. “Sure you won’t come in for a dip?”

A chorus of negatives came from the girls. He grinned and turned back to look at the dock. “Aw, don’t you want to…play…with the…whelp?” His voice faded out and the girls followed his gaze to see what was wrong. Buffy nearly laughed out loud.

Spike watched as Xander unzipped his jeans and let them fall to his feet. Xander kicked out of them and began stretching, preparing his muscles for the rigors of swimming in cold water. Spike’s jaw dropped a tiny bit and he kept his gaze trained on the dark haired man.

“Xander looks very fuckable in those shorts.” Dawn casually mentioned.

“Oh, very.” Buffy returned. “Makes me wonder why I never took him up on his offer in high school.”

Willow grinned wickedly. “Oh, Buffy, you really should have. He kisses like a dream.”

They watched Spike’s muscles tense at that, and Buffy couldn’t resist one more jab.

“So, Spike? How long have you had a hard on for Xander?”

Spike still stared at Xander but some part of his mind registered the question. “Ever since he spent the night in my crypt after the demon bitch left him.” He murmured.

“Oh, I meant the one you have now.” Buffy continued.

Spike jerked and his glance dropped down to his crotch. Sure enough, there was a bulge in his swimsuit. He looked from it to the giggling girls and glared.

“Sod off, Slayer.”

Taking what was left of his dignity, he stomped back down the dock. Forgetting the floaties.

_______________________________

“You two look like you’re freezing,” Dawn grinned at the boys huddled under the blankets.

Spike poked two shaking fingers out of the blanket in response.

“How can you two drink cold beer when you’re that cold?” Buffy asked.

“It’s a matter of principal.” Xander chattered. “It’s a guy thing.”

“It’s bloody stupid, is what it is.” Spike added, teeth clacking together.

Willow grinned and tossed a bottle their way. Thank the gods for vamp reflexes, or Xander would have been clocked in the head by a bottle of JD.

“Ta, luv,” Spike smiled, opening it and taking a slug. He passed it to Xander who imitated Spike. Other than a slight widening of the eyes, he managed not to make an ass of himself as the liquid burned a fiery trail down to his belly.

_______________________________

“And then, her massively huge boyfriend, the gorilla, drug her away from the bar,” Xander grinned wryly. “More bad luck with the female population.”

Spike lifted the bottle in salute. “To all the bloody bints with gorilla boyfriends.”

The girls giggled, tipsy, but nowhere nearly as plowed as the boys and their straight shots of whiskey.

“I’m cold, mate.” Spike shivered next to Xander.

Xander grinned. “How can you be cold? You have a blanket and you’re sitting near the fire.”

“I also have no circulation, pet,” Spike said reproachfully. “My front is toasty warm from the huge scary flames, but my back is still as cold as it was coming out of the water.” He looked mournfully at Xander.

Xander stared at him, eyebrow raised, for a long moment. Spike continued trying to look innocent.

Finally, Xander snickered. “You are the biggest nancy boy about being cold.”

Spike nearly pouted. With a sigh, Xander shifted in the chair. He put a leg behind Spike’s back and sat sideways. Opening his blanket, he gestured with his chin.

“Come on then, pansy ass.”

Spike snuggled into the vee of Xander’s legs, pressing his back to Xander’s chest and pulled his blanket over their legs.

Xander sucked in a deep breath. “Holy fuck, you’re cold!” He gasped.

Spike sat up a tiny bit. “If it’s too cold for you, I can move back,” he said in a quiet voice. Xander jerked him back against his chest and wrapped his arms around the vamp.

“N-no, you’re f-fine. I h-have enough of th-this fire in my g-gut from the J-JD that you sh-should warm up in n-no time.” He chattered.

The gang sat in silence for long moments. Xander and Spike both had their eyes closed, feeling the heat that stole it’s way from Xander’s body into Spike’s. The girls snuggled down into blankets themselves and watched the two men with smiles.

“So, Spike.”

“Yeah, mate?”

“What do you think is our problem?”

“With what, mate?”

“With women. I mean, we’re both not hideously ugly.”

“Nope.”

We can get laid if we want. I mean we’ve both had offers.”

“Yup.”

“So what is it that keeps going wrong?”

Silence.

“They aren’t the ones, mate.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. Figuratively, Fangless. I can feel you grinning. Who aren’t the ones and what ones are we talking about?”

“The girls we’ve been with. They weren’t the ones.”

“Okay, and again, I say what ones are we talking about?”

“The ones we’re meant to be with.”

Xander raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me you subscribe to the someone for everyone theory of romance?”

Spike shrugged. “I don’t know that I’d call it that. I just think that we have an ideal mate in mind, and neither one has been dealt in yet.”

“Dealt in?”

“To our lives, monkey boy. Keep up with the conversation.”

“Of course, cause it’s so easy to follow. Ow! Watch it with the elbow, Dead boy!”

“I mean, our ‘one’ has to have certain qualities. And that all the women we’ve been with might have had one or more qualities, none of them have had enough to make them ‘the one’ for either of us.”

“So, like what kind of qualities?” Xander sounded wary.

Spike tilted his head so that it fit tucked under Xander’s chin, and smiled against his chest. “You want someone who’ll tuck you into bed and run out at the fucking crack of dawn to buy you ice cream cause you don’t feel well. You want someone who’ll learn every fucking Disney song known to mankind, so they can sing you back to sleep when you wake up from a nightmare. You want someone to pick up your goddamned socks that never make it to the hamper and fry your bacon so that it’s chewy and crispy at the same time.

He rubbed his cheek across Xander’s skin, his eyes closed. “You want someone who’ll laugh at your dumbass jokes, but still take you seriously. You want someone who wants you, for you, including donut boy, zeppo, slayerette…Xander. You want, just once, for someone to see you, the real you, and still want him when they come to terms that he isn’t a witch, a watcher, a slayer, a demon. That he’s just Xander, and that’s enough.”

Xander minutely tightened his arms around Spike’s waist. “Yeah? Well I know what you want, too.”

“Do you now, pet?” Spike gave a lazy smile.

“Yeah, I do. You want someone who’ll make you a pot of warm blood just as easily as they do their own coffee. You want someone who’ll watch Manchester United games with you and cheer for the opposing team so you have someone besides the ref to yell at. You want someone who’s doesn’t care that you’re a vampire, and doesn’t care that you can’t hunt anymore. You want someone who loves to watch you strut around being your bad vampy self and stops by Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy of the latest research book you want for whatever insane Watchery thing you’re studying this week.”

He leaned his face against the crown of golden curls. “You want forever. You want to be loved forever. Not until someone gets a soul, or whomever you’re the substitute for comes back. Not because they’re going through a phase, not because they know you’ll protect them from whomever they’ve pissed off today. You want stars in the eyes, bells ringing, no-one-else-but-you love. So you never have to hurt from the loneliness. So you never have to be alone.”

Spike lifted his head and smiled at Xander. He pulled a hand out of the blanket and gently ran it down Xander’s cheek.

“Stupid git,” He said softly. “I’m not alone.”

Xander smiled back. “No, you’re not.”

“And I can see you.” He whispered.”

“I know.”

They sat, staring into each other’s eyes. Then Spike grinned.

“When will my reflection show who I am inside?” he sang.

Xander slapped him up side his head and then shoved his head back onto his chest.

“Idiot.”