Title: Family Part 17

Email: tirel@pcnuthut.com

Author: Velvet Crypt

Disclaimer: Joss is God. I own nothing.

Spoilers: Um…total non canon.

Summary: The family comes together again.

Spike winced as he saw the maze of tubes and wires surrounding his little girl. He moved silently forward and gazed into her face. She slept. The lines of worry were not as evident, but Spike could still see the faint remnants of them even as her face relaxed in sleep. He leaned on the bed and gently kissed her clammy forehead.

Settling into a comfortable position, he began stroking her hair as he stared, still and silent, into her young face. Angel didn’t know what he was looking for; answers? Affirmation? But he sincerely hoped his Spike would find it. He pulled up a chair and sat next to the doorway, protecting his Childe and his grandchild from interruptions.

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Buffy tried to ignore the constant presence of the police as they walked from the parking lot to the nurse’s station. She was continually reminded of being on the run from the police after Kendra’s death and then after the Faith debacle. Buffy kept darting nervous glances at them until Willow pushed her to the rear of the line where they couldn’t make eye contact.

Willow had been mother-henning everyone for the last few hours. Tara and Dawn could only smile indulgently at her as she told Giles how to drive and manipulated Buffy around the police. Willow had been the one to force Xander to shower and shave before leaving; telling him the hospital wouldn’t let him in looking and smelling like he did. She had been the one to remind him to bring his insurance papers and Lys’s medical history.

Willow was the one who drove them to the police station to meet the officers that were transporting Nate and Ellie. She was the one that convinced the police to allow them to follow them to LA and to allow Xander to have supervised contact with the kids when they were at the hospital. Tara knew it was all to keep her mind off of how terrified she was of losing Lys.

Tara didn’t blame her. She loved the teenaged girl also. Not to mention that if Lys died, they lost Xander too. Tara saw the pain in Xander’s eyes as the police ushered Nate and Ellie to the patrol car. The police had obviously not told the kids that the scoobies were going to be in the car behind them. They kids walked out of the station dragging their feet. Ellie shied away from the officer’s helping hands, even avoiding Nate. Nate just shuffled to the car, head down, and flung himself into the seat, slumping dejectedly as soon as the seatbelt was fastened.

By the time they parked in the hospital lot, Xander was practically vibrating with the need to hold his kids. He fell out of the car and hovered around the patrol car. The officers stepped out of their vehicle with wary looks on their faces. One stood at the ready, watching Xander’s every move as the other opened the back of the squad car.

Nate pushed himself out of the car first and leaned against it, waiting for the officer’s iron grip to take hold of his arm. Ellie crawled out next and she jerked violently away from the officer’s outstretched hand. She stood huddled against the car, staring at the ground. Officer Mark Grey of the Sunnydale Police Department clenched his jaw as he cursed, for the 100^th time since they left SunnyD, the people who’d done this to these kids.

He stepped back, holding his hands up in a non-threatening way. He glanced at his partner, Officer John Thompson, and signaled that the kids were out. Thompson nodded and motioned for Xander to move forward. Grey stood ready to defend the kids from this ‘monster’ as the grandparents had called him. He was looking forward to slamming him into the pavement and putting him into a chokehold if he so much as looked cross-eyed at the kids.

He was surprised to see the ‘monster’ approach the kids with cautious care. Xander stopped a good 10 feet away and forced his face into a smile. “Hey, guys,” He called softly. Nate’s head jerked up and he looked around, wide-eyed until his eyes lit on Xan. His eyes filled with tears and he just stared for long moments. Ellie had no such trepidations.

She let out a squeal and darted across the interspersing distance, faster than the police who tried to stop her. Xander dropped to his knees and held out his arms. Ellie hit them with the speed of a freight train. As Xander closed them around her, the tears came. She sobbed in his arms, weakly hanging from his neck. He raised his eyes and met Nate’s gaze over Ellie’s head.

Nate sucked in a ragged breath. “I-is it really you, Uncle Xan?” He whispered, the agony in his voice causing tears to sting the bystander’s eyes. Xan nodded.

“Yes, Nate. It’s me.” Xander smiled.

//I swear, Nate. It’s me.// He added, casting his thoughts out toward the boy. The words hit Nate like a physical blow. The boy screwed his face up and took a tiny step in Xander’s direction. He stopped and looked at Grey. The older man just smiled and nodded his head toward the boy’s sister and uncle. Nate didn’t ask twice. He ran.

Xander pulled one arm away from Ellie to tug Nate into their embrace. Nate threw one arm around Xander and one around Ellie. They knelt there in a tangled pile for long minutes. The scoobies were expecting it, but Grey and Thompson blinked repeatedly as a pale green glow emanated from the little group. They waited silently until Xander gently dislodged them both with a smile.

“C’mon guys. Let’s go see your sister.” He picked Ellie up, cradling her in one arm as he put his other arm around Nate’s shoulders. Nate slipped his around Xan’s waist in response and they led the way to the elevator.

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Spike refused to move even for the nurse. After a pointed glare from his icy blue eyes, the woman wisely chose to work from the other side of the bed. Angel was ushered out of the room as the poking and prodding began, but no power in heaven or hell was going to move Spike, so Angel lurked alone in the hallway. He looked up as the elevator dinged and a smile broke over his face as Xander exited, carrying Ellie and holding Nate.

He closed the distance between them in a few strides and held out his arms. Ellie’s tiny face radiated joy as she launched herself from Xander’s arms into Angel’s. He rocked her, briefly withdrawing a hand to tousle Nate’s hair. Nate responded with a grin, but didn’t let go of his Uncle. Angel furrowed his brow as the officers exited the elevator behind Xander.

They looked rather shell-shocked, Angel thought, and then went back to hugging Ellie. “Spike is in with Lys.” He murmured through a mouthful of dark curls. Xander paled.

“ Is she-?”

Angel shook his head. “She’s fine. He just hasn’t left her side the whole time he’s been here.” Xander visibly relaxed.

He turned to the hospital room’s door and took a deep breath. Then he pushed it open. Through the door, he saw Spike sitting next to the bed, eyes closed, head next to Lys’s side. Lys had her eyes open and she was gently petting her Uncle Wil’s hair. When she saw Xander, her eyes lit up and she beckoned him closer.

“Shhhh…he hasn’t slept in forever.” She whispered. Xander nodded and moved to her other side. He pulled her close, mindful of the IV tubes and monitoring wires.

“I missed you so much, baby.” He choked.

“I missed you too, Uncle Xan.”

“I’m so sorry, Lys. I-“

“Shhhhh.” She repeated. “It’s okay. You’re here now. It’s going to be all okay now.” Xander shuddered and didn’t have the heart to tell her how wrong she was.

“Xander?”

Xander looked up at the confused voice and saw bleary blue eyes blinking owlishly at him. He smiled. “Hi, Spike. You look like shit.” Spike snorted and sat up.

“Well, luv, you don’t look much better.” Lys lay quietly, smiling, listening to her uncles’ banter with each other and feeling more contented than she had in weeks.

“The kids are outside.” Xander nodded his head towards the hallway. Spike perked up immediately, but looked to Lys first. She grinned.

“Get out of here. Go see them. You’ve lived by my bedside for the last 24 hours. I think I won’t fade away into nothing if you’re gone for 10 minutes.” Spike kissed her forehead and, with a tiny smile for Xander, headed to the hall.

He nearly growled when he saw Nate sitting in-between two cops. But he caught himself just as Nate looked up at him. The boy didn’t even look to the officers this time. He flung himself from his seat and raced across the hall. Spike took his weight full on and lifted the boy from his feet. He knew he must have been hurting him as hard as he was holding him, but Nate didn’t make a peep. Spike clutched the teenager and rocked him. He felt warm wetness seeping into his dusterless shoulder and lay a kiss on the side of Nate’s neck.

“I missed you, boy.” He whispered roughly. Nate just nodded fiercely against Spike’s shoulder. Finally, his grip loosened and Spike let him slide to the floor. He shielded him from the other’s vision as the boy wiped his eyes. Not that it mattered. Nate’s eyes were red and wet and his nose was stuffed and swollen. It was obvious he’d been crying, but Spike tried to give him a bit of dignity.

Ellie squirmed in Angel’s arms and the older vamp set the little girl on the ground. She bounced over to Spike, who knelt with a grin and swooped her up in his arms. “Hey there, Ellie luv. My lap’s been awful empty without you around.” He chucked her under the chin. She frowned up at him.

“Aren’t there any other little girls to sit in your lap?” she questioned. Spike shook his head.

“Nope, honey. I’ve been living with Grampa Angel. There aren’t any little girls there. And even if there were…” He looked her in the eye; “You have first call on my lap at all times.” She smiled happily.

“Why are you living with Grampa Angel? Why aren’t you living with Uncle Xander?”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Spike cleared his throat and tried not to look at the police officers. “Well, sweetness, your gramma and grampa Harris said Uncle Xan and I weren’t very good parents. They said it had to do with us being two boys who lived together.”

Ellie scrunched up her nose. “Cause you and Uncle Xander are gay?”

Silence again. Then Spike laughed wryly. “Yes, honey, that’s it exactly. How do you know that word?”

She looked at him with the disgust only a five-year-old could generate. “I know lots of words.”

Spike nodded seriously. “I’m sure you do, poppet. I’m sure you do. Uncle Xander is trying to get you back from your grandparents. But if I stay with him, it will be that much harder for him to do. So…I left.”

Ellie looked confused. “But…why? I want to live with you both. I love you.”

Spike winced. “I love you too, poppet. And I love Nate and Lys…And I love Uncle Xan.” He finished quietly. “But you three kids are what’s most important right now. Getting you back is first above all else. I can always visit sometimes.”

Tears welled up in Ellie’s eyes. “But if you love us why would you leave us?”

Spike pulled Ellie close to his and buried his face in her curls. “Ellie-luv, I love you kids more than anything in my world. But my being with Uncle Xan is keeping you with your grandparents. I can’t stand that. I need to know you’re safe. I need to know you’re with someone who loves you. And I’m sorry…but if I have to go away to make that happen, then that’s what I have to do.”

Ellie’s little body shook with tears and Spike sank to the floor, rocking her on his lap. Nate crept up beside Spike and the vampire freed an arm to pull him into their huddle. They sat silently, clutching each other, for a long time.

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Xander leaned against Lys’s bed. “Baby, I don’t know what to say.” He whispered. “Why would you do this? Drugs? You never even tried a drug before…now you’re in the hospital for an overdose?” Lys looked ashamed.

“Uncle Xander, it’s not the drugs. I’m not an addict. I swear.” Her eyes pleaded for understanding. Xander nodded and sat on the side of her bed.

“Okay. I believe you. So, tell me what it is.”

Lys took a deep breath. “It’s Ellie. And Grandma and Grandpa Harris. And Nate. And everyone on the street. It’s the misery, the pain, the hopelessness.” She clenched her fists in the sheet. “I couldn’t block anyone out anymore, Uncle Xan. Ellie kept having horrible visions. Nate was full of anger and hate all the time. Grandma and Grandpa Harris hated us. They hated everything about us. I never felt even one happy emotion around either of them.”

She locked eyes on Xander. “I couldn’t take it anymore. So I ran away from it. Nate knew. He knew why I went. He feels it too. I think that’s why he’s so angry all the time. He can hear them say the things I can only feel. So I went to LA. But I didn’t have any money. I stayed in a homeless shelter for a few days, but…” she shuddered. “Everyone is so full of hopelessness. It’s like they’ve totally given up. It made me want to give up too. So I left.”

She started picking at the blanket fuzz. “I met up with some girls in an alley I…was staying in. They were on something. They felt so happy, so at ease with everything. I wanted to know how to feel that again. They offered some to me. I still don’t have a clue what I took. But I took it. They were so high, they didn’t even realize how much they were giving me, I think. But I took too much.”

Her eyes took on a dreamy cast. “It was good though. Not the drug, or even the feeling the drug gave me…but the lack of feeling I had. I could only feel myself for the first time in…well, in a long time. I wanted to stay there forever. Just forget about mom and dad dying, about the Harris grandparents from hell, about my little sister slowly losing her mind to visions she didn’t understand, about my brother raging and hating and lashing out at everyone because no one had a kind thought for him.”

She lay back against her pillow, exhausted, and closed her eyes. “I thought that was the closest I would ever get to peace again.” She whispered, and then smiled. “It may have been the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, Uncle Xan…but it brought us back together. I can feel us, all of us. We’re together again. The pain is gone. It’s gone, Uncle Xan…It’s…gone.”

Xander began to panic, then looked at the heart monitor, beeping steadily, and realized that she just finally felt safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep. “My beautiful Lys.” He whispered, bringing her hand up to his lips. “I promise you, Alyssa, I will get you back. You and Nate and Ellie…and goddammit, Spike too. We’ll be a family again. I swear.”

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