Title: Family Part 7
Email: tirel@pcnuthut.com
Author: Velvet Crypt
Disclaimer: Joss is God. I own nothing.
Spoilers: Um…total non canon.
Summary: Spike gets the third degree.
The trip from the Bronze to Giles’
was made in silence. Nate and Spike sat in the car while Xander and Lys went
inside to get Ellie. Spike stared through the windshield into the night, lost
in thought. Nate stared at the vampire’s profile in the front seat.
“Uncle Wil?” he asked softly, and
even then, he saw the older man start slightly.
“Yeah, Nate?” came the quiet reply.
“Why won’t you tell Uncle Xander
that you love him?” Silence met his question. It was different than the first
companionable silence. This was heavy, fraught with unspoken pain and
uncertainty.
Just as Nate thought his uncle
wasn’t going to answer him, “It’s complicated, boy.”
“Why? Why does it have to be
complicated? He loves you, you love him.”
Spike turned in his seat and blue
eyes sought brown ones. Nate refused to be cowed by the warning in the cerulean
depths. “So, how long have you been in love with him?” He asked defiantly.
The corner of Spike’s mouth turned
up in a smirk. Ballsy little git.
“What would you like me to say?”
“The truth would be nice.”
“The truth.”
“Yes.”
“You want the truth. You want to
know when I realized that the tight feeling in my chest every evening would
only dissipate when I heard his goofy voice or saw for myself that he hadn’t
bee hurt on patrol the night before. You want to know when I realized his touch
sent shivers down my spine. You want to know when I decided that I was going to
kill Anya the next time she demanded what he couldn’t give.”
He took an unneeded breath. “You
want to know when I decided to snap the neck of the next person who brought
that wounded puppy look to his eyes. Or the pages of horrible poetry I have
stashed in a hole in my crypt that rave on about his chocolate eyes, and his
musical laugh. How about the first time I had a nightmare about him dying that was
so real I curled into a ball and trembled on my bed for an hour.”
Nate reached a hand out to the
vampire. With a wry smile, Spike took it. He looked down at their joined hands.
“I’ve wanted him since the first time Angel offered him to me. I’ve liked him
since the first night I spent in his basement tied up in that awful chair. But
you want to know when I realized I loved him. That I can’t tell you, Nate.
There was no moment of truth, no lightening bolt.”
He laughed and rested his cheek on
the car seat. “He crept under my skin and into my heart bloody stealthily, he
did. So slowly that I feel like I’ve always loved him. So, I suppose the edited
version of the answer to you question would be: I don’t know.”
Nate smiled, trying not to cry. “He
loves you too, Uncle Wil.
“I know, luv.” Spike smoothed an
unruly curl down on Nate’s head and then turned back around in his seat to
resume staring out the windshield. “I know.”
_________________________________
Xander and Spike diligently avoided
each other for the next week. Even the briefest of glances seemed to start a
raging fire in each of them; a fire that Lys seemed to pay for. Xander was
horrified to hear about the channeling at the Bronze and vowed not to do
anything that would wrest control of Lys’s emotions from her again.
Spike was concerned as well, but he
went looking for a solution. He asked Willow and Tara to start working with Lys
on control and on blocking. He poured himself into house husbanding while
Xander worked overtime at the construction site. He had thought he was doing
well until Willow showed up at the house one day while the kids were at school
and Xander at work.
He opened the door to a frowning
Willow and stepped back from the sunlight to let her in. “Wot’s u, Red? Xan and
the kids aren’t here.”
Willow fixed him with an unreadable
look. “I know. I came to talk to you.”
Spike raised an eyebrow, but
gestured towards the kitchen with his chin and then walked in himself. He
poured her a cup of coffee and slid a plate of cookies in front of her before
taking his own seat across the table from her. She stared at the cup and the
cookies for a moment and then giggled.
“Wot’s so funny, Red?” Spike glared.
She waved a hand in front of her face and shook her head.
“Still working on the domesticated
bliss floating around.” Spike growled but Willow noticed that it seemed half
hearted at best. She apologized by biting into a cookie.
“I’m here to talk about the
pentacle.” She said around a mouthful of chocolate chip. “I’m a bit concerned
with the stability of it.” Spike leaned forward, a frown furrowing his brow.
“Are the kids in danger?” He
demanded.
Willow hid another smile. “I don’t
really know.” She put the cookie down and took a long measuring look at him.
“I’m going to talk about things you probably don’t want to hear, Spike. I’d
appreciate if you let me finish and give me some honest answers with out
getting all defendy-like.”
Spike sighed. “Did you all get
together and decide to badger me one at a time until I broke?” He sighed again
at the bewildered look on her face and nodded.
“Normally I’d tell you to piss off. But if it concerns the kids, I’ll
try not to get defensive. Best you’re going to get, Red.”
Willow nodded and scooted her coffee
out of the way. “We all know you want Xander. And that Xander wants you.” She
frowned. “Well, maybe everyone but Xander knows that, but you get my point.”
Spike chuckled and received an answering smile from the witch.
“You have a natural bond with him.
You have a bond with all the others too. The energy flows through you all,
linking you to each other and forming the pentacle. You are connected to each
person through it.” Spike nodded and waited for her to continue.
“Normally, the energy would flow
smoothly from person to person with no problem. However, it seems to have
developed a hiccup.” Spike raised an eyebrow.
“A hiccup?”
Willow nodded and scooted to the
edge of her chair. I can see it when you are all together and feel it when I’m
helping Lys with her shields. She’s having a hard time adjusting her shields.
The idea was to form a thickened cushion around her, not cutting her off from
the bond, just softening up the impact a bit.
That works, but there’s a problem.”
“So, wot’s the problem, Red?”
“To be frank, Spike, you and Xander
are the problem.” Willow stood and began pacing, waving her hands in front of
her. “She can’t regulate with you and he surging all over the place.”
Spike glared. “What the hell does
that mean?”
“You want each other. For some
reason unknown to anyone else, you won’t admit it.” Willow returned the glare.
“That hurts him, Spike. Every time you are together, you surge emotions through
the bond. ‘I want him.’ ‘Stay away from me.’ ‘I’m guilty.’ ‘I don’t deserve
him.’ ‘I want to fuck him through the floor.’” Spike started at Willow’s
language.
“You know, those kinds of emotions.”
She stepped closer to him and poked him in the chest. “Lys can deal with a
steady stream of emotions. You two are on some emotional roller coaster from
hell and she can’t hold the shields against you. Also, you two are the bases of
the pentacle. Xander is stability and you are protection. Neither one of you is
doing his job. Xander is on the verge of a breakdown and you are so busy
protecting yourself that you haven’t even noticed that the kids are shouldering
the burden of the bond!”
She wound up in his face, inches
away from death if he had wanted to sink fang into her. Instead, he blushed and
dropped his gaze.
“Sorry, luv. I didn’t know.” He said
huskily.
Willow sighed and then did the unexpected.
She threw her arms around Spike’s shoulders and hugged him. He tensed for a
moment, then Willow felt arms steal around her waist, and she smiled.
“I know, Spike. I also know you
would never hurt the kids or Xander intentionally. But you have to talk this
out with him.” She pulled away to look into his eyes. How strange that an evil
killer should have such beautiful, worried, contrite eyes, she thought.
“Please?”
Spike nodded. “Give me some time to
think about what needs to be said. I’ll do it before the week is up.” Willow
nodded and smiled.
“Good. And thank you, Spike. So, how
do you get your cookies to stay soft like this?”
________________________________