Title: Smell of Home Part 1

Email: tirel@pcnuthut.com

Author: Velvet Crypt

Disclaimer: Joss is God. I own nothing.

Spoilers: 5ish

Summary: Spike and Xander have to play at being a couple to spy on the newest Big Bad.

Willow suggests that since the monster likes guys like Xander, xan should go with spike as his protector.

They poke fun at the guys, spike says if it moves a vamp will fuck it. Xander says he’s not gay.

*******************************************8

“So what you’re saying is that another Big Bad is coming to take over the Hellmouth?” Buffy summed the last half hour of Giles-speak up in one sentence. Giles looked flustered for a moment, and then sighed.

“Yes, Buffy. That’s what I’m saying.”

“Fine. What are its weaknesses and does it have a timeline?” She grinned, back on footing she could understand.

Giles sighed again and opened the large book in front of him. “According to the Watcher journals, it is a Ghrestian demon. I’ve found very little on them, but what I have found is-“

“Ghrestian?” Spike interrupted. “You have a name yet? On which one?”

Giles furrowed his brow. “Why? Do you know something about Ghrestian demons?” The other scoobies looked expectantly at Spike.

He shuddered slightly. “They’re bloody awful, is what I know. Specially the one I know.”

Giles sat in his chair and gestured for the vamp to continue.

Spike looked around the room at the eager faces and inwardly winced. The bright and shiny faces of the witches looked at him curiously from their vantage point on the couch. Buffy sprawled inelegantly over the armchair, but looked no less curious. Xander…sweet, oblivious Xander. Spike sighed. He had no idea when the welfare of the male Scooby became his primary focus in life.

Xander watched him, warm chocolaty eyes encouraging him to speak, encouraging him to spill his guts for the amusement of the slayerettes

“Yeah, right then.” He gave in. “Ghrestian demons are nasty because they have two modes of attack. The first is that they’re bloody huge and have nasty claws and teeth. The second attack is subtler. They can manipulate pheromones.”

Giles perked up considerably. “That’s fascinating!”

Spike looked wryly at him. “Til you get on the receiving end of it, I suppose.”

“How does it work?” Willow asked.

“They can project their own emotions, or any of their victim’s emotions through scent. Then they send it to you. And it’s usually not pleasant.”

“So, what about the one you know?” Buffy asked.

Spike refused to make eye contact. “One I know’s named B’Thaaug. He’s big. He’s nasty. He’s obsessed with humans. Well, one human. Or, actually, many…but they all look the same.”

Buffy snorted. “So, you going to start making sense anytime soon?”

Spike snuck a look at Xander. The boy looked totally confused. Spike went back to staring at his hands.

“B’Thaaug is centuries old. He has a fetish for humans. But he keeps choosing the same kind. They’re always male, young, well built with dark hair and dark eyes.” He could feel Xander’s own dark eyes on him.

“He also has a fairly large grudge against me.”

Long seconds passed. Finally, Buffy sighed. “Okay, why does he have a grudge against you?”

“I took one of his mates.”

More silence. “So what did you do with him?” Xander ~of all people~ asked.

“I snatched him, fucked him, turned him, killed him and left his ashes on B’Thaaug’s proverbial doorstep.”

“Why?” Tara asked quietly. Spike laughed with no humor.

“Did I need a reason? The boy was gorgeous. I wanted him. So, I took him. Got tired of listening to him ramble on about the Ghrestian, though, so I turned him and then killed him just to piss off B’Thaaug.”

No one moved as Spike stood and exited into the kitchen.

Everyone made silent eye contact with each other, thrown by the re-emergence of William the Bloody, even in story.

Xander stood. “Okay, so Spike did something awful. We knew what he was when we took him in from the Initiative. We all know that he has had a…nefarious past. But we need him. And if we plan on picking his brain for demony info, we have to be prepared to come across unpleasant things, right?”

The witches nodded, prompting Giles to follow suit. Buffy and Xander had a stare off for a moment, but then she dropped her gaze and nodded.

Xander sat back down. “So what now?”

____________________________

“No. Not happening.” Spike shook his head. Buffy bristled.

“You can’t tell me what to do, Fangless.”

Spike got in her face. “Slayer, he is gathering an army to take you out and take over the Hellmouth. The last thing you are going to do is charge into the middle of a fucking demon convention swinging a stake!”

Buffy met him glare for glare, neither backing down. Giles cleared his throat.

“As much as it pains me to say it, Buffy, Spike is quite right.”

Buffy turned a look of betrayal on him. He pulled off his glasses and began scrubbing them frantically.

“You must admit, Buffy, that your presence is well known in the demon community. And if they see you, they will be quite likely to gang up on you.”

Buffy growled. “So, what do you suggest, genius vamp?”

Spike backed off slightly. “If he’s out of seclusion, he’ll be looking to choose a mate as well. That means he’ll be in the limelight more often than normal, putting on airs and letting of fuck-me pheromones. I suggest that we go in, do a little recon, see if we can get in on his recruiting and find out if he has any concrete plans for opening the Hellmouth.”

Even Giles looked impressed. Spike rolled his eyes.

“Bloody hell, children. I’m evil, not stupid.”

Tara smothered a smile, and then raised her hand. “Um, can I ask why demons are holding a convention?”

Giles frowned at her raised hand, and placed his glasses back on his face.

Spike shrugged. “Well, they aren’t exactly holding a convention. It’s rather like a reunion plus recruitment effort. B’Thaaug tends to stay away from the demon population whenever he has a mate. After the mate dies, B’Thaaug come out to find a new one.” He grinned. “He’s kinda co-dependant.”

Xander choked back a laugh, his eyes twinkling at Spike.

“He’s bloody powerful enough that his need for a new mate will bring out demons in force. Everyone will be bowing and scraping for scraps of attention and whoever finds him his ‘boy’ will be well rewarded. And with his plans to take over the Hellmouth, the number of demons will quadruple.” He shook his head slowly. “We’re in for a bloody war.”

Buffy stared warily at the vamp. “We? Why we? What is this about? You looking for protection from this Bathog?”

Giles winced. “It’s B’Thaaug, Buffy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Xander watched Spike with curiosity. Was that actually a look of hurt flash across his face? The vamp straightened his duster and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his duster pocket. He didn’t light up; he just rolled it in his fingers. After a moment, he met Buffy’s eyes.

“I’m not asking for your protection, Slayer.” He said lowly. “I’m not asking for anything. I’m offering my help.”

Buffy didn’t look convinced. “Why? What are you getting out of it?”

He quirked his lips. “You won’t believe anything I say, so why should I say anything.”

Giles chose that moment to stand. “Yes, well…I don’t suppose we need to know your reasons as long as we can rely on your assistance.” He looked pointedly at the vamp. “We can rely on it, can we not?”

Spike nodded.

“So, what’s the plan?” Willow bounced.

___________________________________

The plan, in Buffy’s mind, was enough to override his needing a reason. Thirty minutes later, she was still laughing. Willow had stopped ten minutes ago and Tara had only covered her smile with a small hand.

Xander and Spike just sat on the couch, staring at Giles, wondering what the hell happened to their watcher.

“You want us to what?” Xander asked again, still as dumbfounded as the first five times he’d heard it.

“I want to entice B’Thaaug.” Giles repeated with a sigh.

“With me.”

“Yes.”

Xander looked from Giles to Spike. “And you want Spike to do what?”

“Pretend to be your mate.”

Xander looked back to Giles. “Why?”

“Because the demon will be sure to pay attention to you. Not only do you have the classic look of his past mates, but with Spike as your partner, he’s sure to focus on you.”

“And we want this why?”

“Because while B’Thaaug is distracted with you, Willow and Tara will be gathering information.”

“So, you want me to pretend to be Spike’s boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“And you think Spike being my boyfriend will protect me?”

“Spike has a formidable reputation in the demon world. He also has the reputation of having stood up to B’Thaaug before. Other demons will either choose to leave him alone as he could make mincemeat out of them, or they’ll be afraid to tread on B’Thaaug’s vengeance plans.”

Spike grinned at Giles’ comments. “Mincemeat, eh?” He puffed up.

Xander rolled his eyes. “So I have to stick close to him?”

Giles shook his head. “No. For your own protection, you should never leave his side.”

Xander stared at Giles in shocked silence.

“Well, you have to be convincing. Otherwise, you’ll wind up as an icky monster’s mate.” Willow added, trying to hide her amusement.

Xander sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine, What do we have to do?” Willow and Buffy gave each other a high five look. Giles pointedly walked into the kitchen.

“First, you have to hold hands.” Willow stated.

“Oh, yes, very important.” Buffy agreed. “As boyfriends, you should be totally comfy with holding hands.”

From the kitchen, Xander could hear Giles sigh for him. Spike stepped up with a smirk and waited. Schooling his features into indifference, Xander snatched Spike’s hand. Spike raised an eyebrow.

“You’re joking, right?” he drawled. “Surely you’ve held hands with a girl before. What about the Prom Princess, Cordelia?”

Xander blushed and tried to look everywhere but at Spike.

“Here, mate. Like this.” Spike’s voice was nothing like he’d ever heard out of the vamp’s mouth. He chanced a glance at him and didn’t see a smirk at all. Neither did he see an ‘oh, how sad’ look. Spike’s face was perfectly unreadable as he pulled Xander’s arm to the inside of his own and linked fingers, curling them tightly together.

“This is the best position.” The vamp continued. “It’s a natural enough position that you don’t have to think about it to do it, plus it’s easy to drag you through a crowd. Less chance our hands will come apart and I’ll lose you.” He demonstrated, leading Xander around the room and obstacles. “Also, there’s this…” He waited for Xander to catch up to him and then he put his own arm behind his back, tugging Xander behind him. “If we see any Big Bads, I want you back there. That way, they have to go through me to get to you. Understand?”

Xander nodded soundlessly. Spike wanted to protect him. Not because he was told to. Not because he was looking for an excuse to humiliate Xander in public. But because he really truly wanted to protect him. The thought gave him a strange warm feeling. Not unlike the one he had from their entwined fingers.

“So what next?” Buffy broke through Xander’s musings.

“Well, they need to know how to sit together.” Giles said with a perfectly straight face and a wicked gleam in his eye as he walked back into the living room.

“Oh, fer Christ’s- I already know how to sit with someone.” Xander snarled. Giles merely crossed his arms and looked pointedly at the couch.

Xander rolled his eyes and flopped on the couch, laying his arm across the back. Spike stepped in front of him and put his hands on his hips looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” Xander snapped.

“Spread your legs.”

“What?” His voice rose an octave.

“Look, mate, this isn’t the movie theatre. We’re going to be hobnobbing with a bunch of evil demons. And this…” Spike waved his hands in Xander’s direction, “Isn’t going to convince any one of them that we’re shagging and you’re off limits.” Xander blushed a fiery red and parted his legs slightly. With a sigh, Spike reached down and manhandled him.

He bent Xander’s leg at the knee and shoved it up against the couch as he dropped between the boy’s thighs. Snuggling his ass up against Xander’s crotch, he leaned back against the boy’s chest and draped Xander’s arms around him. For the final touch, he linked their fingers again. Giles looked impressed. The girls looked pleased. Spike looked like a cat with cream. Xander looked as though he’d never been more uncomfortable in his life.

“Well, I must say, you two do look as though you’ve shagged before.” Giles remarked with an uncustomary grin.

Xander shoved Spike out of his lap, hoping that the growing tightness in his pants wasn’t noticeable to anyone else. From Spike’s smirk, that didn’t seem to be the case.

“So, that’s it? We’re done?” He crossed his legs.

Willow shook her head. “Oh, no…you haven’t practiced kissing yet.” Xander’s eyes bugged out.

“Are you insane?” He shrieked. “I am not kissing Fangless. He is…well, he is a he! And I am a he! And he’s do not kiss. I am not gay.”

Buffy tsk tsk’d. “You know that people expect couples to kiss. And you and Spike are going as a couple. The least you could do is try it. If it’s horrible and you look bad together, it’s better to know now than when you get in front of dozens of demons.”

Xander stifled a scream. He closed his eyes and counted to ten. Twice. Then opened them and uncrossed his legs again. With a glare that spelled death, he pointed to the couch. A serious expression on his face, Spike knelt on the couch and leaned forward. He was rewarded with a hard close-mouthed kiss and a smacking noise as Xander pulled away.

“There, I did it. It was horrible. We looked awful together. And I am not gay!” He glared at Willow and Buffy.

Spike sighed. “You didn’t even try.” He sounded disappointed.

“I’m sorry, Spike,” He grated, “Was I supposed to tongue you and moan a lot?” He snorted. “Fine. Your turn. But then that’s it. I’m done practicing being gay. I’m going home.”

Spike’s eyes had gone grey, he noticed, as the vamp twined his fingers through the boy’s hair, holding his head still. To spite him, and he others, he puckered up in a horrible impression of all the comedy movies he’d ever seen. After a moment, he felt soft breath whispering across his lips and he unwittingly shuddered. A second later, his lip was bitten. Not painful, but certainly not gentle. He unconsciously opened his mouth to protest, and felt a cool tongue slip in between his lips.

He caught his breath again and made a tiny squeak into Spike’s mouth. Softly, so softly, Spike stroked Xander’s tongue with his own, relishing the taste of the boy. He ran his tongue over Xander’s teeth, traced the roof of his mouth, and slid it into the darkened recesses under his tongue. Then he pulled away slightly to taste the boy’s lips and Xander answered with a whimper. He nipped gently at the swollen flesh, and pressed the boy back into the arm of the couch, grinding his hips into Xander’s.

What the hell was going on? He’d never been kissed like this before. Not by Cordy, that was for sure. Sometimes in his dreams, he felt this way. But it had never been accompanied by the rich taste of passion, the bite of menthol, or the tang of blood. It sure never came along with a very hard erection pressing against his own. He needed to feel more of that, by the way. He shifted his body until his arms were free and then he ran them down Spike’s sides and grasped the vamps hips.

With a low moan, he pulled the blonde down onto him as he thrust upwards. Spike responded by pulling Xander’s tongue into his mouth and sucking on it as though it were a lolly. Shivers ran through his body with each suck and he needed to be ripping Spike’s clothes off. He made it as far as jerking Spike’s shirt out of his jean waistband before the vamp came to his senses and pulled away.

He smiled tenderly at the boy as Xander whimpered in protest and reached for him again. He leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead before standing up. He took in the open mouthed stares and hunched a bit.

“Err…I’ll be back in a mo.” He rasped and stalked to the bathroom to relieve himself of the raging hard on the boy had given him.

Giles hid a smirk as he dropped into a chair, thinking that if it had gone on any longer, he too would have been looking for a bathroom. The girls just stood and stared at Xander, reclined on the couch, his eyes shut, and a look on his face that fairly screamed ‘what the hell just hit me?’ Slowly, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

“I was wrong.” He whispered. “I’m definitely gay.” Snickers met his realization. and he sat up.

“Gay? Really? Are you sure? That’s a pretty big step.” Giles said seriously.

“If I’m gay, I should have a thing for all guys right?” Nods all around. “Or at least the cute ones.” He looked at his friends. “So, who is a cute guy? Oh, and definitely not a father figure like Giles.” Shudder. He pondered for a moment before his eyes landed on Buffy. “Riley! Riley is a guy, and he’s sorta cute in a Teutonic way…”

Buffy looked as though she couldn’t decide on defending her boyfriend or being nervous that Xander was using him as an example.

“So,” Xander continued. “He’s large. He’s muscled. He’s attractive…” He squinched up his eyes. “He’s not doing it for me. Too big.”

“He’s not!” Buffy interjected and then looked embarrassed by the glances sent her way. “Well, he’s not.” She concluded in a quiet voice.

“How about Oz?” Willow asked. “He’s smaller than Riley.” Xander bit his lip thoughtfully.

“Oz. Hmmm. Small, wiry, I like that. But his hair…it’s not…”

“Blonde?” Tara asked helpfully.

“Right! Not blonde. And his eyes…they’re not…”

“Blue,” She finished for him again.

He glanced at her with narrowed eyes. She returned his look with one of complete innocence.

“Fine. So I’m not gay. Maybe it’s a vampire thing!” He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. “Drusilla. She’s a hot vampire cutie, right? Dark hair, dark eyes…all those curves…and bumps…and holes-“

“Xander!” Buffy sounded shocked, but when he raised his head to look at her, her eyes were shining with laughter.

“Yeah, well. Maybe male vampires. How about Angel.” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Tall, dark, handsome, strong…” He let his voice trail off as he tried to picture the vamp in all his glory.

“Not doing it for you, huh?” Willow grinned.

“Not in the least.” He replied, sitting up. “Ok, so where does that leave me? I’m not gay. I’m not into vamps. That means it’s worse than both. I have a thing for Spike.” He shook his head and ran his hands over his face. “Oh, shit.”