Title: Strip Tease 4

Email: tirel@pcnuthut.com

Author: Velvet Crypt

Disclaimer: Joss is God. I own nothing.

Spoilers: Season 6 ending. AU after that.

Summary: Spike’s turn onstage.

Spike woke up in the last place he would have guessed had someone asked yesterday where he would be spending his day; cradled in warm human arms, gentle breath teasing the curls on the top of his head. And yet, it felt good. It felt right. He lay in the light of predawn and pondered the events that brought him to this place and time.

After getting his soul back, and several months of beating himself about the head and shoulders for all the shitty things his demon made him do, he realized something. It wasn’t his demon. His demon had freed him from the moral, and mortal, tedium he had as a human. The demon had poked holes in his beliefs, his values. It had shown him how pathetic he was, begging for affection, hoping his destiny would take him by the hand and lead him into the sunlight.

Well, destiny did take his hand. Though she led him into a darkened alley and bit him really hard. He smiled into Xander’s chest. Ow, ow! Indeed. What a wanker William was. He was. He was William. The demon couldn’t change that. It could open new doors for him, but whether he chose to walk through them or not was still all William. The loss of inhibitions served to push him through slightly more dangerous doors than William might have chosen otherwise, but in the end…it was still his choice.

Anya was his choice. He knew she was hurting. Hell, so was he. He knew it was a bad idea. He just needed something to drive the taste, the smell, the feel of Buffy from his senses. He knew that when Anya closed her eyes, she was seeing dark brown hair, brown eyes, the gentle face of the man next to him. The whole activity was pointless. He still saw Buffy. She still saw Xander. The only thing they managed to do was waste an hour or so and piss off their significant others to the point of no return.

Pushing Buffy to the point of rape was his choice also. He was so desperate to be loved, to have someone…just once…admit to loving him. William needed it. Oh, he could glean love from speech and actions as he had with Angelus and Dru. But no one would say it. No one would look into his eyes, cup his face and tenderly tell him ‘I love you, Wil.’

Spike snorted. ~Oh, fer cryin’ out loud, you poncey wanker!~ He gently scooted out from under Xander’s arm, regretfully leaving the warm cocoon. Moving quietly, he headed for the living room. He absently pulled the heavy draped of a day sleeper over the windows to prevent combustion and lay on the floor in front of the fireplace. He put his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling.

Xander couldn’t pinpoint the moment he knew Spike had left the bed, but he noticed the loss almost immediately. It had been a long, long time since anyone had shared his bed the whole night through. He knew now why he always ushered them out the door soon after the heady rush was gone. After feeling what it was like to fall asleep next to someone again, knowing they’d be there in the morning…the loss was physically painful.

He slid out of bed and pulled his pants on. Padding on bare feet, he made his way out to the living room. Coming down the stairs, he saw Spike lying on the floor. Pausing a moment, he sat down on the step above his feet and watched. Spike looked so very sad. Granted, he also looked totally gorgeous and wholly edible, but mostly sad. Was he upset at Xander making a pass at him? Xander felt a twinge of guilt mixed in with disappointment.

Fuck it, he thought. You never know if you never ask. He stood and made his way to Spike’s side. The vampire opened his eyes as Xander sank to the floor in a graceful heap. A tiny smile welcomed Xander, and then Spike closed his eyes again. Xander took in the smile with a spark of hope and scooted around to Spike’s head.

There was a moment of awkwardness as Xander lifted the blonde head and placed it in his lap, but when he began kneading his fingers through the platinum locks, Spike settled down and didn’t move. “What’s wrong, blondie?” Xander asked quietly, enjoying the feel of the silky strands flowing through his fingers.

“Just contemplating what a fucked up mess I’ve made of my life. Of your life. Of all the lives of everyone I’ve ever known.” The older man smiled wryly.

“How’s that?”

Spike snorted. “I shagged your bird. Kinda left a sour taint to the relationship. I shagged your friend. Buggered that whole situation up, I did. Left town and wasn’t there for the Bit when Ducks got shot. Wasn’t there to help when Red lost her bloody mind. Never apologized for any shitty thing I did when I was trying to get my chip back.” Spike laughed humorlessly.

“Aren’t I just a bundle of bloody guilt?” He sighed. “I dunno Xander. I can live with having been an asshole; a vampire that maimed and killed and tortured. That’s what vampires do. Angel knew that. But he let the whole soul-having thing warp him. I know everything I’ve done was wrong. I can see that. I also know that that part of my life is very much in the past.”

He sounded wistful and Xander curbed a smile as he continued to rub Spike’s scalp. “Once I got this bloody chip in my head, it was all gone. I had to make a new life. And I did. You all helped me make a new life. I may not have liked it as much as my old one, but I was happy. It had perks.” He smiled. “I had company. Gets bloody lonely with only an insane bird as company. I finally had someone to talk to. Or at. Cause no one really cared what I had to say. But, if I squinted my eyes almost closed those looks of disgust almost looked like interest.”

Xander closed his own eyes in shame. “I’m sorry, Spike.” Spike snorted.

“Pish posh, pet. Nothing to be sorry for. It’s just that, before, I was only responsible for my own fuckups. After meeting you lot, I kinda felt like…well, like I screwed up your lives right along with mine. Then I went and hightailed it out of town right when everything was at it’s worst.”

“Shhhh.” Xander brushed a stray hair off of Spike’s forehead. “We all had a pretty big part in screwing up our own lives. I don’t blame you for any of it. I don’t hate you.”

Spike squeezed his eyes further closed. “Well, I hate me.” He whispered. “I wish I could either go back to being the Scourge of Europe and kill everyone that pisses me off, or that I could go back to being just plain William and find my release at the bottom of an inkwell. Being in the middle is killing me.”

Xander dropped a kiss on Spike’s nose, startling the vamp into opening his eyes. Blue looked into brown. “You should just accept that you’re all three now, Spike. You’re still the demon. You’re still William. And you’re still Spike. You need to learn to live with all of them. You need to find someone who will love all three of them.” Spike wondered when love had come into it? He wasn’t talking out loud earlier was he? Xander continued, not noticing.

“You tried finding someone to love William. Buffy told us about that Cecily girl. You tried finding someone to love the demon. That only got you tortured by Angel and turned into a babysitter for Dru. You tried finding someone to love Spike. But you chose the bane of your existence: the Slayer. You need to look for someone who will love you for all of you. Every part.”

Spike snorted. “Who the hell is going to accept, much less love, all three? Two are polar opposites and the third is so bloody confused it isn’t even funny.”

Xander smiled down at him. “Well, Spike, that’s how you know it’s real. Because when you find the person who can love all three, she’ll be the one. And she’ll show you just how easy it really is.”

Spike still looked dubious. “So, is that what you’re waiting for? Someone who’s going to love the stripper, the Scooby and the Zeppo?”

Xander shot an unreadable look at him before looking away. “I had that, remember? With Anya. And I threw it away. I’m just trying to survive now. To make it through the next day.”

Spike reached up and tugged Xander’s head down, forcing the boy to look at him. “I don’t think you did have that with Anya. She may have liked the stripper in her own bed, but I don’t think she shared well with others. I think that’s why she kept you in baggy pants and ugly shirts. No woman wants to see their boyfriend look like an add for ‘Tour Hawaii’, except one who doesn’t want to share.”

“I also think she hated the whole Scooby thing. She became mortal through accident, but she was well on her way to accepting it. The scoobies reminded her every second of what she lost. She was always one step away from asking you to move away from Sunnydale.”

“The only one she really liked was the Zeppo. She could control him. He was her link to normalcy. Her hope for the future. But you hated yourself so much when he came to the forefront that you beat him down most of the time.” Spike watched Xander’s eyes, hating that he was putting sadness into them. But he also hated that the boy was lying to himself. That he was determined to pine away for the rest of his life because ‘the one’ got away, when she wasn’t even ‘the one’ to begin with.

Finally, Xander sighed. “Come back to bed, Spike. I feel the need to hold and be held.” Spike didn’t even hesitate. The sexual tension had dissipated. All that was left was comfort. For the moment, that was all either of them had to give.

___________________________________________________

When they woke again, it was nighttime. There was no uncomfortable silence. There was no seduction. They simply smiled at each other and gently kissed…just once and only for a brief second. It was enough. Xander suggested they find somewhere to get blood for Spike’s dinner and then began flipping through a leather covered address book.

“My boss is actually half Hartuan. He’s got a pretty good handle on places that cater to demons.”

Spike nodded, glad to know his instincts weren’t wrong about the huge man from the night before. “So, what’s on the agenda for tonight, pet?”

Xander glanced up at him, looking as though a thought were on the tip of his tongue. He carefully set the book down and turned to face the vampire. Spike tensed out of habit. “Well, actually, I was wondering if you wanted a job.”

Spike looked at him incredulously. “A job?”

Xander nodded. “Yeah, Mogar…that’s my boss…has been looking for a replacement dancer ever since Keith quit. I thought you might be interested in the position. I mean, you have experience and you have nothing else going on, right?”

Spike tilted his head. “You want me to dance.”

Xander picked up the book again. “Never mind, it was a stupid idea.”

Spike forcefully took the book out of Xander’s hands and stared into his face. “Do you want me to dance?”

The brunette shrugged. “I think you’d be amazing. You can turn someone on just by walking into a room. I can just imagine what you’d do if you tried to get someone hard.”

Spike watched the boy’s expression for a moment longer. “Okay.”

Brown eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? I need a bit of dosh to repay you for the blood you’re going to get me and the place to crash last night.”

Xander’s face closed off momentarily. “I don’t want your money, Spike. I have plenty. Consider last night and dinner tonight a gift.” Spike’s lip twitched.

“What’s got you so riled up, pet?”

Xander glared. “What exactly do you think that last night was about?”

“I dunno, luv. As I recall, I asked you that very same thing…last night.”

Xander snatched the book back. “Well, it wasn’t about pity.”

“So what was it about then?”

Xander flushed. “What? Do you think you’re the only one who’s lonely?”

Spike tugged the boy down onto the couch. “Are you lonely, Xan?”

Xander turned huge brown pools of misery on him. “I didn’t think so until last night.” He whispered. “Being with you brought back feelings I thought I’d gotten rid of.”

“Like what?”

“Need. For closeness, for laughter, for someone to share my day with, for someone to hold when I went to sleep, for someone to still be there when I woke up.” He sat up abruptly, shaking Spike’s hands off of him. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. It’s not like I got any of those things from you before. I don’t know why I’m so fixated on getting them from you now.”

Spike sat quietly, letting the human sort out his emotions in quasi-privacy. Finally, Xander turned back to him. “I don’t know why I feel this way. I don’t know why it’s so different with you now. All I do know is I like you. I missed you in some strange way. I’m glad you’re here, and I’d like if you’d stay for a while.”

Spike chose his words carefully. “Are you asking me to move in with you, Xander?” The boy nodded. “If I do, and I’m not saying I will,” he added quickly at the hope rising in Xander’s eyes. “But, if I do, I’ll expect to be able to pay my way. I don’t take charity. I’ll take on half of your bills and half of the housekeeping.”

Xander grinned. “Wow, I never thought I’d hear William the Bloody demand to dust.” Spike smacked him gently on the back of the head.

“Watch it, whelp.” He smiled back.

Xander hesitated for a moment, and then rushed on before he lost his nerve. “Will you share my bed?”

Spike caught his non-existent breath. “I-“

“Please? We don’t have to have sex. I just…I need…I’d like you to be there.” The pleading in Xander’s eyes was his undoing.

He acquiesced. “Alright, luv.”

Xander’s smile was like a glimpse of the long forgotten sun. Spike later thought that he would have agreed to anything just to see that smile. The boy practically bounced to his feet.

“Let’s just go see Mogur. We can kill two birds with one stone that way.”

_________________________________________

Mogar looked the blonde vampire up and down. “Well, Xan, vampires are always a popular choice as dancers. They tend to be sensuous creatures as a rule. They also love attention focused on them. The only problem is they are also short tempered and prone to kill the first customer who touches them wrong or talks bad about their dancing.”

Spike straightened his duster. “That won’t be a problem with me, mate.”

Mogar didn’t look convinced. Spike sighed. “A few years ago, I had a run in with a bunch calling themselves The Initiative.” He was startled to see Mogur flinch and dart his eyes around the room as though hunted. “I see you’ve heard of them.”

The half demon nodded. “Bastards got my father. Wanted me, but my mother ran. We wound up here, half a continent away from everything we’d ever known.” The rage in his eyes was close to sparking. Spike eased down on the vamp dominance, knowing any provocation could set the huge man off.

“Yeah, well they caught me too, mate.”

Mogur narrowed his eyes. “So how did you get away?”

“Didn’t really get away.” He clenched his jaw in remembrance. “They put a behavior modification chip in my head. It won’t allow me to hurt humans. Gives me a right good shock to the noggin if I so much as pinch one.”

Mogur looked outraged. “How do you feed?”

“Animal blood mostly.” Mogur made a moue of disgust. Spike smirked. “Yeah, kinda feel that way about it myself.”

“I can get you human, if you’re interested.”

Spike grinned. “That’s what Xan-pet said.”

Mogur nodded and reached behind the bar to scribble an address down. “Just tell ‘em I sent you.” He grinned evilly. “You’ll get a discount.”

Spike took the address and stuffed it in his coat. “Ta, mate. Now about this job…”

Mogur shrugged. “Why not. Always looking to help out a fellow demon. And Xander vouches for you, so I trust I won’t have any problems.” Spike held out his hand. The half demon enveloped it in a strong grip. “Welcome aboard, Spike. Glad to have you.”

________________________________________________

“We have a new piece of eye candy for your viewing pleasure tonight.” Mogur’s voice boomed across the room, stilling conversation. “He calls himself Spike.” With that, the half demon walked offstage and the lights dimmed. Xander wiggled in his seat in anticipation.

When the beat began to thrum out of the speakers. Xander nearly spewed beer out of his nose. Adrian patted him on the back. “You okay Xan?” he asked in concern. Xander nodded, trying to keep from choking. I Need You Tonight? Was Spike trying to get molested? “What’s wrong?” Xander just shook his head and focused on the stage where a spotlight had just touched Spike.

He had chosen to leave off the stark black look. Xander loved how ethereal he looked with contrasting pale skin and dark clothes, but he had to admit, this was pretty hot, too. Spike wore red leather pants and a blood red silk shirt. His hair was slicked back as usual and Xander was pleased to see Spike had taken his advice about the boots. There was something very sexy about Spike in bare feet and skintight leather.

Then he started to move. Preternatural grace enhanced the vampire’s movements until it looked as though Spike were not just moving from step to step, rather melting from one move into another. He flowed seamlessly, teasing the audience with every part of his body. His eyes lured them in, his mouth made promises one could only pray that he would keep. The long pale column of his neck begged to be licked from chest to chin. His arms beckoned, his fingers danced against his flesh in an erotic rhythm.

His hips undulated to the beat, and onlookers searched the air beside him for the invisible partner. His legs stretched on forever, promising endless inches to wrap around that partner’s waist. Xander felt his mouth go dry. And then the vampire started taking things off.

Spike caressed each button with long pale fingers, dragging a low moan from Xander’s throat. After the last button was pulled from it’s buttonhole, Spike let the shirt hang open. Each move allowed a pale tan nipple to peek out. He sank to the floor, bending his supple body backwards, and arching his spine to put his profile in stark relief. The silk fluttered off of his shoulders and pooled on the stage. He continued to thrust his hips into the air, against that invisible partner, as the beat stoked him higher.

In a fluid motion, Spike righted himself. He began tracing his fingers over his leather-clad ass and hips, twisting to the thrum of the bass. He drew patterns over the marble hardness of his chest and dipped his hand into the waistband of his pants. Pulling his hand from its delicious hidey-hole, he began to bend forward. He allowed that hand and it’s twin to smooth trails down the slick leather covering his legs until he ran his fingertips over his toes.

In a single swift motion, he grasped the hems of the pants and jerked. The Velcro gave and the pants came off. Spike slid his bare foot out of the last bit of leather and stood clad in a leather thong and his trademark smirk. He strutted to the very edge of the stage and fished an ice cube out of Xander’s drink. Xander stared openmouthed, his breath coming in short pants.

Spike laid a shining, wet line up the center of his belly with the dripping cube. He detoured to each nipple, forcing them into stiff peaks. He brought it up the line of his neck and ran it over his pink lips. As the music drew to a close, he leaned over, dropped the ice cube back into Xander’s glass and then descended to his knees in front of him.

The last thing Xander saw before the lights dimmed to black was Spike’s ice blue eyes shining in mischief.