Chapter 13

Everyone met in the lobby, and it was decided that Buffy, Angel, Spike and Xander would take the SUV to the airport to pick up Willow. Dawn carefully handed the keys to her sister, even though Spike made a grab for them. She laughed at his scowl. Knowing that Xander would be wearing black, and wanting to save the human from any smart remarks from Buffy about matching clothes, Spike had pulled on a pair of faded jeans and a thin gray sweater that clung to his sculpted chest. He’d even forgone the gel in his hair; soft waves fell over his forehead. Xander was indeed in his usual black jeans, but he’d dressed them up with a black silk, long sleeved pullover. He’d pushed the sleeves to his elbows and his hair was still damp. Spike wanted to throw him on one of the sofas in the lobby and make him scream.

Buffy was wearing jeans and a simple white top. Xander stood back and looked at his old friend. She’d changed so much since the last time he’d seen her. She was softer, less angular. She’d put on some much-needed weight, and Xander thought she looked healthy and happy. Angel was wearing his usual deep colors, and he looked happy, too. They both looked trim and athletic and ready to kick some ass. Cordelia, Dawn and Jase promised to get the kids to bed and ready a room for Willow while they were gone. The children had all fallen asleep on the lobby sofas, and only needed to be moved upstairs.

They said their goodbyes and trooped out to the parking deck. Buffy and Angel settled in the front while Spike disconnected Sara’s car seat and placed it in the cargo area to make more room in the back seat. He slammed the tailgate and slid into the backseat next to Xander, making sure that their thighs were pressed together from knee to hip. A smile twisted his lips as the other man automatically curled his fingers around the blue denim-clad leg next to his own.

The trip to the airport was fairly quick, and soon they were parking at the terminal. Buffy led the three men through the concourse expertly, and they followed along, Xander bracketed between the two vampires. The three of them talked and joked easily and they stepped quickly to keep up with Buffy’s pace. She still reached the gate several minutes before them and stood, tapping her toe impatiently. When they reached her, Xander put his arm around her shoulder and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. “Antsy much?" he asked her. She leaned her head against his arm. “I’m just excited. I haven’t seen Willow in way too long.” They shared a smile as they waited for their friend.

Within a couple of minutes, passengers started pouring through the gate’s doorway. Buffy bounced up and down, trying to see her friend. Xander craned his neck and finally spotted her titian hair. "Willow!” he called, “over here!” She turned toward them, and Xander and Buffy rushed forward to enfold the petite witch in a smothering embrace. Both girls squealed, and Xander laughed out loud. The two vampires stood back and shared a smile at the friends’ antics. They both snorted, “Humans.” The trio finally broke their embrace and all started talking at once.

Angel stepped up to them and placed one huge hand on Willow’s shoulder. She turned, and her face lit up. She jumped up, and Angel lifted her off the ground in a hug as she kissed him soundly on the cheek. He placed her back on her feet in front of Spike. She gave him a sweet smile, as well as a hug and a kiss. They exchanged quiet hellos, and another hug. Willow had been instrumental in helping Spike after the return of his soul, and they had a special friendship. She raised her hand to his hair and said, “I like you with the natural look.” He smiled and tugged on a lock of her hair, which was trimmed into a choppy, face-framing style that made her look like a pixie. “You look good, too, Red.”

“Well, we better go get the luggage,” Angel suggested. “I’ll carry this one,“ Xander said, and scooped Willow up in a fireman’s carry with her head hanging down his back. She squealed and struggled as he walked down the concourse. The other three laughed and followed.

Buffy, Xander and Willow talked the entire way home, with Angel and Spike interjecting an occasional word into the verbal fray, but mostly just enjoying the show. The drive passed quickly, and soon they arrived back at the Chanticleer. Willow marveled at the architecture, earning a smile from Angel. Spike and Angel argued good-naturedly about which of them got to carry Willow’s luggage as they all swept in through the glass doors and up to the main lobby. There was another flurry of greetings as Cordelia and Dawn hugged Willow. Dawn explained that Jase had volunteered to keep an ear on the kids while Xander finished his story for the others. Dawn and Buffy swept Willow away to find her room, and Angel and Cordelia went to the kitchen to get drinks for everyone.

Xander walked to a corner of the lobby and pulled a heavy drape aside to stare out into the street. After watching silently for a moment, Spike joined him. He stopped a few feet behind Xander and waited. Xander turned and held out his arm. The vampire moved to his side and threaded his hand around the taller man’s waist to rest on his hip, and nestled his head into the broad shoulder. Xander concentrated on keeping his breathing steady as his panic rose. He whispered against the top of Spike’s head, “I don’t want to do this.” “I know, luv,” Spike crooned. “It’s not gonna be easy, but you’ve got to get it off your chest. I promise everything is gonna be all right.” Xander’s only answer was another wavering breath, and Spike could tell that his control was slipping. He stepped in front of his friend and placed both hands on his shoulders, looking directly into his shadowed dark eyes. Xander lost himself for a moment in the crystal blue depths, and then shook himself slightly.

“I can do this. I can do this,” he repeated, almost to himself. To Spike he said, “I need to go upstairs. I need the photo album. Will you go with me?” Spike nodded and they walked slowly to the elevator. The car arrived, and the three girls spilled out. Xander smiled at them and said, “I need something from the room – we’ll be right back.” They traded places and the girls moved into the lobby. As soon as the elevator doors closed, Xander found Spike’s lips on his in the gentlest kiss he’d ever been given. In that soft, sweet touch the vampire poured out the affection he felt for the boy, the sorrow of time lost, the pain of years and the comfort he offered. Xander felt tears well up in his eyes, as he understood everything his friend was trying to say without words, and he couldn’t help but hope that those feelings would survive the terrible truth he was about to tell. He returned the kiss and let the tears fall.

Spike tasted salt, and knew that it was Xander’s tears. Lifting his lips from the full, warm ones of the human, he used his thumbs to wipe away the moisture. He then pressed light kisses all over Xander’s face. When the elevator stopped, Spike took Xander’s hand and led him to their door, waiting outside as Xander gathered his book and took a moment to regain his composure. They rode back down in the elevator in silence, and their hands were clasped again as they exited into the lobby. Their friends were all arrayed around a low table situated in front of the hotel’s massive fireplace, sipping drinks and waiting quietly.

As they joined the group, Spike took the black book out of Xander’s hand and gave it to Dawn. He had to clear his throat to speak. “Little Bit? Why don’t you tell as much of the story as Xan’s already told us? We’re going to go over there and ….” His voice trailed off and he made a vague hand gesture. Dawn nodded, and Spike led an unresisting Xander back to the window. Once there, he moved to face the taller man and pulled him into an embrace, resting their brows together and putting his hand on the back of Xander’s neck. He knew that Xander was barely hanging on; he could feel fear and anger and dread and terrible sadness coming off of the man in waves. After a moment, a strong hand gripped his neck below the platinum waves.

Spike and Xander could easily hear Dawn’s voice as she relayed the stories she’d heard from Xander. Everyone laughed appreciatively at Xander’s mug shot and the photo of him getting his ass kicked by tiny Shari. Xander knew they had reached the black and white portraits when he heard Willow make a tiny sound and say in a cracking voice, “They’re so beautiful – both of them.” He knew instinctively when they had turned the last page, and shut his eyes against the pain. Spike’s hand tightened on his neck and the pressure of the forehead against his increased. Xander finally turned back to the group when he heard the completely unexpected sound of Cordelia bursting into tears.

Xander broke from Spike and moved to her side. She had her hands over her face, and he could hear her gasping sobs. Xander sat next to her and pulled her into his lap. He easily enfolded her small body in his arms, and rubbed soothing circles on her back. She buried her head in his shoulder and cried for a few moments. Eventually her sobs eased, and she gratefully took the handkerchief that Angel passed to her. Once she had wiped her face, she gave Xander a tiny, watery smile. “I’m sorry, you guys – I guess it’s just a Mommy thing.” She and Dawn exchanged a knowing look; Dawn also had tears in her eyes and both of her hands were clutching one of Spike’s in a crushing grip. Cordelia met Xander’s eyes fully. “I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am, Xander. You don’t deserve this kind of pain. If I could make it go away, I would.” The others echoed her sentiments, and Xander felt several hands reach out to pat him or clasp his hand or knee.

Xander settled Cordelia next to him on the sofa and looked around the group, meeting each set of eyes but lingering on Spike’s beautiful blue ones the longest. He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “It - Oh, God, it gets worse, guys. I know who murdered my wife and child. I came here because I need you to help me kill that person.” He looked directly at Spike and braced himself. “It was Drusilla.”