Chapter 17

The shopgirl gave Xander a brilliant smile and handed him an ice-cold can of Coke. He smiled gratefully and drained half of it in one gulp. She was blonde and had blue eyes, and a gorgeous figure that was showcased by her short, red sundress and matching sandals. She leaned against the marble-topped counter and folded her arms under the perfectly shaped, braless breasts that seemed to be standard equipment on LA shopgirls. “You’re a good husband,” she observed. “Taking your wife and her friends out shopping. Most men would have run screaming by now.” Xander looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. “What makes you think one of them is my wife?” he asked. She pointed at his left hand. “Ring.” He smiled sheepishly. “Oh, yeah.” He paused, and then asked with a grin, “Which one do you think is my wife?” The girl considered for a moment and said, “Either the blonde or the redhead. I can tell that you love all of them, but you definitely treat both of the brunettes like they’re your sisters." She tilted her head and frowned. "Come to think of it, you treat all of them like your sisters. So, my guess is that your wife’s not here.” Tilting his head, he said, “You’re very good at this.”

Just then, Dawn and Cordelia burst from separate dressing rooms, wearing the exact same dress. They took one look at each other and both turned back to the dressing rooms with snorts of annoyance. Xander dropped his head into his hands and sighed. He looked back at the shopgirl. “Do you have a men’s department? I need to get a gift for a friend.” She led him to the other side of the store. Xander started looking through a display of knit v-necked pullover shirts, looking for something that would make Spike look even more fuckable. He was holding two of them side by side when Cordelia walked up. Xander glanced over at her. “That’s a great outfit – I think you should get it.” She sighed with annoyance, “Xander, this is the outfit I wore in here.” “Oh,” he replied. She took the sweaters out of his hands and held them up to him. “These aren’t your size.” “Well, no,” he replied. “They’re not, um, for me.”

A light went on in her eyes, and she said, “Ooooooh. Well, in that case, the orange is a definite ‘no’. He just looks scary in orange – like a demented pumpkin. This purple is pretty weird, too. Try these.” She picked up a deep blue sweater and a dark burgundy one. “The burgundy is way too Angel, but I like the blue,” he replied, dropping the offending garment. Dawn joined them with a pile of clothes draped over her arm. She eyed the blue shirt. “For Spike?” Xander nodded, and she said, “Yeah – that’s gonna look even better than the one he had on last night. Grrrr.” She and Cordelia laughed together at Xander’s expression. “What?“ Cordelia demanded. “He’s incredibly hot, Xander. Don’t even try to tell me you don’t think so.” Xander opened his mouth to reply and then shut it with a snap, feeling a blush stain his face. Buffy and Willow joined the group, and Buffy reached out to touch the sweater. “For Spike?” The other girls nodded, and she made a gesture as if wiping sweat off her brow. Willow simply let out a low whistle.

Grabbing one other garment from the display, Xander handed it and the blue shirt to the shopgirl. “I’ll take it,” he said. “Can you gift wrap those for me?” The girl nodded and gave Xander a little smile that told him she was pretty sure she’d figured out a few things about his “wife”. He couldn’t help but think to himself “if only she knew”. He dutifully followed her to the cash stand, his women trailing in his wake.

The next stop was a shoe store, and Xander was thrilled to see that there was a music store next door. He begged off of going to Shoe Hell and entered the store, happy to have a little respite from the chatter of the girls. The few days he’d spent at Spike’s had been blissfully quiet. He and Spike had talked, but had also spent a fair amount of time in comfortable silence. The girls all had so much to say to him and each other that his head was ringing. He loved it, but he needed a break. He stepped up to a computer terminal located just inside the store and typed in a few searches. A page printed out with a list of his selections and their locations in the large store. He grabbed the paper and began shopping.

After securing his purchases, Xander walked back down to the shoe store. Willow was standing outside, leaning against a brick wall, shopping bags at her feet. “Good thing we brought Dawn’s Suburban Assault Vehicle,” he quipped, taking in the number of bags. She laughed, “That’s not the half of it. We may have to call for back up. Big sale.” She gestured at the shoe store. Xander pouted. “I’m never getting lunch, am I?” He leaned against the wall at her side.

“So, Wills, what’s your story? Are you happy up in Canada?” Xander’s look was thoughtful. Willow turned and gave him a brilliant smile. “I am. I really am. I love my work, and I can do a little magic without freaking out and going all dark side. I think being so far from the Hellmouth takes away the temptation, and there aren’t so many dark forces swirling around in the Great White North. The dark forces aren’t big on the cold weather sports, I guess.” Xander screwed up his face. “Um, what exactly are the cold weather sports?” She laughed and said, “The usual. Skiin’. Snowshoein’. Snugglin’.” They shared a smile. “Do you have somebody special, Wills?” She paused, and then looked a little sad. “I have a few people I see. Oz comes up now and again, when he’s on tour and stuff. We’ve had some good times. And there’ve been others.” She took a deep breath. “I’m happy, Xander. “ He reached out and took her hand, knowing that she was leaving many things unsaid, many things about Tara and what she had lost when the beautiful, shy witch had died.

“Oh, hey!” Willow exclaimed. “I forgot! Oz is probably here in town. He does session work here a lot.” Her smile dimmed. “Crap! I didn’t bring my book with all of his numbers.” Xander pulled a small cell phone out of his pocket. “Have no fear, my dear – technology to the rescue.” He dialed a few numbers and waited. “Los Angeles. Daniel Osborne,” he said into the instrument. He pushed another button, and then turned the phone so Willow could see the display. “Is that his number?” he asked. When she nodded, he punched another button and then closed the phone. He handed it to her. “The number’s in the memory. You can call him later if you want to. It would be nice to see Oz. He’s so wonderfully quiet,” he mused. Willow laughed. “Why do you think I had to come out here? My head was exploding.”

After a few moments of silence, Xander turned to Willow. “I need to ask you something,” he began. “What … what was it like for Spike after I left?” Her green eyes met his, and he could see deep sadness there. “Let’s sit down,” she suggested. “This could take a while.” They sank down with their backs against the wall, both crossing their legs under them. Once they were settled, she began to speak. “OK, you were here for the ‘crazy in the basement’ phase and the ‘oh, the crushing guilt’ phase. And then you left.” Xander winced, but there was no heat in her words. “We all really thought you were pulling another Oxnard; that you’d be back in a while. There was a lot of upheaval for everybody. Buffy had to take care of Dawn and the potentials and the families of the potentials who’d died.” She paused, and Xander remembered that one of those who had died had been Kennedy, with whom Willow had had a relationship. He clasped her hand in sympathy.

“Angel and his people were busy here, so Spike and I were kind of the only two left. We were both in bad shape. He struggled, Xander, he really struggled with the different parts of himself.” She twined her fingers in her lap, her voice dropping. “Some days he was all demon, and he scared the shit out of me. Some days he was all soul, and he’d sit there and tell me stories about all the awful things he had done in that beautiful, cultured William voice and he’d just cry like a baby.” She looked up at Xander, and he could see the pain in her eyes. “God, he tried to kill me several times, but he never could. At the time, I think I would have welcomed it.”

Her voice became dreamy. “One time, I tried to provoke him into killing me. I said the worst things to him. I called him an animal and a killer and a freak and a beast and a murderer. I screamed and ranted and raved and taunted him for being too big a coward to come after me and just end it all. He vamped out, and he had his hands on my shoulders hard enough to leave bruises, bruises where you could see the mark of each individual finger. He had me, and my head was to the side, and he was so close.” Her voice dropped again, and Xander could see the tears in her eyes. “He was right there, Xander, and he stopped.” A single tear rolled down her face unheeded. “He stopped, and he kissed me on the neck, just a feather-light kiss, and then he took me in his arms and held me while I cried, because he knew that every word I had said to him was about *me*, and the things *I* had done; the things I had *been*.” More tears flowed down her face, and her eyes came up to meet Xander’s. “Spike saved me. I thought I was helping him, but he saved me. He made me see that we were the same. He said that by helping me, he proved to himself that there was something in him worth saving. So, I guess we saved each other.”

Xander clasped her hand tighter and leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. He brought his hands to her face and used his thumbs to smooth her tears away. “I’m glad,” he said. “When I got to his house, he was strange. He didn’t recognize me at first, and then he was so … reserved. He didn’t give me a hard time, or anything. He’s so different now.” She smiled at him and wiped her eyes. “He never hated you for leaving. I think he thought that he deserved for everyone to leave him. You two seemed to be sort of friends when you went, but I think he was too conflicted to notice much.” She smiled wryly. “He was still obsessed with Buffy back then. You’re right – he’s very different. The old Spike was all bravado and smartass; he’s relaxed that a lot. By the time I left, he was doing OK. Did he tell you about making Angel give him money?” Xander nodded, but gestured for her to tell him more.

“Oh, God, Xander – it was hysterical. Spike was living with me at the time, and I had just accepted the teaching position in Canada. He came down here and met with Angel, and when he came back he was positively giddy.” A real smile split her face, and Xander was unable to do anything other than smile back. “I forced him to tell me the story. Apparently, he totally guilted Angel out of a bunch of money they’d gotten in Europe in the Bloody Old Days. He really played him. That’s when I knew he was going to be OK, because he was so proud of himself for working Angel.” They laughed together, and then Xander’s face clouded.

“Wills, I know I owe you a huge apology. I barely said goodbye, and then I never came back or stayed in touch or anything.” He sighed and looked down at his hands clasped in his lap. “When things were bad, I was ashamed to come back or call you guys – I didn’t want you to know what a fuckup I still was. Then, things got good, and I was too scared.” He looked into her eyes, and saw understanding there. “I get that,” she said. “You were afraid that if you came back here, no matter how happy and wonderful and successful you were, you’d still be the Zeppo.” He nodded. “When did you get so insightful?” he asked. She laughed, “Not me, that was Spike’s theory. I ranted to him one time about you leaving, and he told me I was being selfish. He said that I should be happy that you’d survived Sunnydale and gotten out, and that I should hope that you were happy. He was right, and I did, Xander. I hoped with all my heart that you were happy; that you’d found someone to love who loved you.” She touched the platinum bands on his finger. “And you did, so I can’t feel bad about you leaving; because you found Shari, and she loved you for you - the way you deserve to be loved.” It was Xander’s turn to wipe his eyes. Willow paused, and then waited until his brown eyes met her green ones again. “I may be out of line here,” she said, “but you’re my best friend, so I don’t care.” She gave him the resolve face that he remembered. “Spike cares about you. I can see it every time he looks at you. Don’t hurt him, OK?” Xander swallowed hard and whispered, “OK.”

The door to the shoe store opened, and Xander heard familiar voices chattering. He stood and pulled Willow to her feet, hugging her briefly. They gathered their bags and joined the other girls to trek back to the car with their loot.

Xander stumbled into the hotel lobby under the burden of at least fifteen shopping bags. He dropped them onto the floor and fell facedown on one of the sofas and groaned. A few seconds later, he felt a hand in his hair and looked up to see Sara standing before him. He smiled at her and said, “Hey, Sweetheart.” She held out her arms, and he pulled her onto the couch, turning on his back and settling her against his chest. She laid her head on his shoulder and made happy noises. Xander marveled at the trust the little girl showed while he patted her small back rhythmically. Xander turned his head and noticed Spike, Jase, Jack and Lily sitting on the floor staring intently at the television. Spike had the little girl on his lap, his chin resting on her dark curls. Spike turned his head and caught Xander staring, and the two men shared a soft smile.

When Xander awoke, he noticed that someone had draped a blanket over them, and that Sara was still deeply asleep on his chest. He also noticed that Spike and Lily were asleep on the other couch, also covered with a blanket. The little girl was curled up in front of the vampire, and his face was half-hidden in her hair. The bags from the shopping trip were piled at the foot of Xander’s couch, and he was happy to see that they appeared undisturbed. As he carefully shifted himself into a sitting position against the arm of the sofa, Dawn walked out of the kitchen. She deftly took Sara out of his arms and settled her daughter on her shoulder without waking her. Xander pulled his feet up and she settled beside him.

“Best sleep you’ll ever have,” she remarked, “with a baby on your chest.” She smiled down at her child and then up at Xander. “Yeah, I slept great. How long was I out?” he asked. The perpetual dimness of the heavily curtained lobby kept him from gauging the time accurately. “About an hour,” she answered. “There’s a plan afoot to go out dancing tonight. Cordy’s even offered to keep Sara so Jase and I can have a date.” Her eyes sparkled. “Oh, and Oz is coming over. I can’t wait to see him; it’s been a while.” Xander considered the idea of dancing. Then he considered the idea of dancing with Spike. “Dancing sounds great. Seeing Oz sounds great. And I’m abusing my privilege of using the word ‘great’, aren’t I?” Xander was proud of himself for cutting off the babble before it got started. Dawn grinned. “Yes, you are hereby restricted from using that word in conversation for at least an hour.”

Xander glanced over to the other couch and saw that both Lily and Spike were awake, blue and brown eyes watching them gravely, as Spike’s pale hand stroked the little girl’s dark hair. “Hey, luv, Bit.” He drawled in a sleep-roughened voice. “How was shopping?” Xander and Dawn exchanged a look and he said, “It was g … good.” Dawn laughed and chimed in, “He means it was great.” Dawn and Xander shared a laugh. Lily started squirming, and Dawn stood and took her hand to guide her back to her mother. As she turned to go, she said, “It’s a little after five now – dinner is at seven in the restaurant upstairs, then dancing to follow until the wee hours. Dinner is casual, but I want you guys really hotted up for the dancing. Don’t disappoint me.” She gave them a severe look and walked away swishing her hips, the effect slightly ruined by the baby on her shoulder and the sleepy little girl trailing behind her.

Xander turned back to Spike, and lifted the blanket over his legs, gesturing for the vampire to join him. Spike complied, fitting his body in front of the longer one and sighing when Xander’s chin hooked over his shoulder and an arm slipped around his waist. He could feel Xander’s warm breath tickle his ear as the human whispered, “How do you feel about going dancing?” The blond head tilted back to rest on his shoulder, and cool lips traced along his cheekbone. Xander shuddered slightly at the delicious sensation. “I’m OK with it, pet. Except …” Spike hesitated. Xander waited. “If you have any desire to keep our … this … us a secret from everybody, going dancing with me is a bad idea. If I dance with you, everybody in the place is going to know how things are.” Spike purposely brushed his lips over Xander’s sharp cheekbone again and was gratified to feel the shudder that ran through the body behind him. He also felt something else stirring against him, and pressed his hips back against Xander’s.

Xander groaned quietly into the soft, white waves and pressed a kiss to Spike’s temple. “Will, baby – I don’t care what anybody thinks. Besides, I’m pretty sure they’ve all figured it out. Our friends are not stupid.” Spike turned his head and sniffed the air. ”True, and it’s a good thing you aren’t feeling secretive, pet. Willow and Buffy are spying on us from the kitchen doorway right now.” He lifted his head from his lover’s shoulder and spoke louder. “Come on out, you silly bints, I know you’re there.” Xander heard giggles, and Buffy and Willow walked out of the shadows, arms linked and faces pink. “Stupid vampire nose,” Buffy muttered. The girls sat down on the couch Spike had vacated earlier. Buffy’s expression brightened. “Spike, what’s a bint?” He glanced at her and started answering automatically, “It’s the same thing as a cu …nevermind.” Willow, who already knew what a bint was, broke in. “Xander, did you give Spike his present?”

Spike jumped on that opportunity, sitting up and throwing off the blanket as he turned to Xander. “Yeah, mate – I was promised presents!” Xander laughed and got up to dig in the shopping bags. He handed a stack of CDs to Spike. “Here – the shop had some good British imports. See if you like any of those.” Spike started flipping through the CDs, exclaiming over several of the titles. Xander had picked him up a selection of 1970’s punk discs that he hoped the vampire didn’t already own. From the way Spike was nodding as he read the titles, Xander surmised he’d done well. His suspicion was confirmed when Spike looked up and gave Xander the most brilliant smile he’d ever seen on the other man’s face. He was momentarily stunned by the joy reflected there. Must remember to do more nice things for the vampire, he told himself.

Willow shoved a gift-wrapped package onto Spike’s lap, and he looked down. Buffy clapped her hands when she saw which package it was. “Yay! We all helped pick this one out. Hurry, open it,” she urged. Just to spite her, the vampire started opening the paper very slowly and carefully at the corner. His patience lasted less than five seconds, and he gleefully shredded the paper. Opening the box, he looked down at the dark blue pullover. He ran his hand over the soft material. “This is nice,“ he said. Xander chuckled, “we all think it will really bring out your eyes.” The girls readily agreed. All three were silenced when Spike stripped off his black tee shirt and raised the blue shirt over his head to pull it on. Three sets of eyes were glued to Spike’s bare chest, then all three scrambled for something else to look at as they noticed the others looking.

Settling the blue shirt over his shoulders, Spike looked at the girls. “Do you horny bitches mind?” he asked. They both gave him a questioning look, and the vampire merely tapped his nose in reply. He laughed when both girls flushed. He turned back to Xander and saw desire in dark eyes as his lover looked at him in the shirt he’d picked out. “I was right,” Xander whispered. “It’s perfect.” Even in the dim light, he could see that the dark hue of the shirt caused Spike’s eyes to look even paler and more striking, and the knit material hugged every dip and curve of his muscular chest and abdomen. Xander’s hand rose unbidden to rest on the soft material at the center of his vampire’s chest. He stroked the material once, and then again. “How long did you say there was before dinner?” Spike asked breathlessly. “There’s time,” Xander assured him. The two men got up, gathered the shopping bags and moved quickly toward the elevator, leaving the gift wrap, two blankets and two red-faced, startled girls on the sofa.

Buffy and Willow turned toward one another and both breathed, “Wow.”

They purposely stood apart in the elevator, not daring to touch. They walked down the hall, Spike slightly in front of Xander. When the blond stopped to unlock the door, the brunet stopped directly behind him and pressed his erection firmly against the vampire’s ass, his hands resting on either side of the doorframe. Spike pressed back and then flung the door open. They stumbled into the room, and fell onto the sofa in the parlor. Xander landed on the bottom and pulled Spike across his lap, settling the vampire’s knees on either side of his hips. He ran his hands under the new shirt and bunched it up under his lover’s arms. Spike raised his arms and slipped out of the garment, gasping as hot lips and tongue swept across his chest to lick and bite his hardened nipples. He fisted his hands in Xander’s sable hair and pulled until the brown eyes looked up at him. He brought their lips together in a rough kiss, thrusting his tongue into the mouth below him in a punishing rhythm. When he could tell that Xander was struggling to breathe, he broke the clinch. While the human gasped against his neck, Spike bent his head to speak into a flushed ear, his voice a low, sensual growl.

“Xan, you make me so hot. I just look at you across the room and I’m rock hard. I get one smell of you, and I’m ready to burst. How do you do this to me? How do you make me want you so much?” Xander leaned his head into the hard, cool lips that were teasing his ear, and Spike obliged him by tracing the delicate shell with his tongue, then licking down the tanned column of Xander’s throat. Xander groaned as blunt teeth closed on the spot where his neck and shoulder met. “God, Will,” he moaned, “I swear, I think you could make me come just from your voice; the things you say.” He gasped as the vampire set up a rhythm, alternating thrusts of his hips and sucking and biting Xander’s neck. The human groaned again as the lips left his neck. Blue eyes, almost black with lust, stared into his and twinkled as an evil grin split Spike’s face.

“You know what, pet?” Spike asked in a thoughtful tone. “I don’t think I’m going to fuck you now. I think that maybe I can wait until after dinner, after dancing. How hot will you be then, I wonder?” Cool fingers traced the contours of Xander’s hot face. “After sitting at the table with all of our friends and making small talk while my hand is in your lap? After I spend an hour or so tracing my fingertips over your cock, reaching down to brush against your balls, running my hand across your ass every time you shift in your seat?” Xander’s mouth was open and he was panting harshly as he listened to his lover’s voice, hearing the accent change from the London guttersnipe to the Victorian gentleman; the hard words combining with the delicate diction to make his head spin. Spike continued to speak in honeyed, cultured tones.

“After dinner, we’re going dancing, right, my love? Probably to one of those places with the smoky lights and the music so loud you can’t hear yourself think, with the driving beat that echoes the beat of your heart.” Spike’s hand came down to brush over the center of Xander’s chest, feeling the thud of his heart. “You can sit back and watch me on the dance floor, watch the way I move for you, just for you in a sea of bodies. You can sit back and watch me, drinking a cold beer, feeling the liquid in your mouth, colder than my tongue.” He swept that cool tongue against Xander’s lips, and then hissed as he felt fingers fumbling at the button and zipper of his jeans. Blue eyes closed for a moment as a hot hand gripped his erection, sliding it free of his jeans and starting a rhythmic stroke.

Spike’s eyes opened and met Xander’s again. He thrust hard into the other man’s hand, but his voice never wavered. “Are you going to dance with me, Xan? As soon as a sexy, slow song comes on, will you get up and stalk over to me, the way you did last night, like a panther on the prowl? I can see you; walking up behind me and pulling me against your chest, so I can feel how hard you are, so I can feel your cock pressed against me and know that you’ve been hard for hours already, and know that I’m going to keep you that way for hours longer.” Xander couldn’t tear his eyes away from Spike’s face, from the sight of sparkling eyes and moist, pink lips. “Do you think I can make you beg, luv? Do you think I can make you beg me to take you into the men’s room, or some dark corner, or out into the alley and push you up against a wall and shove my way inside you?” Xander hissed, “yes” breathlessly in reply, and raised his hips, searching for friction on his aching cock, while he kept up the bruising pace of his hand on Spike’s hardness.

“Yeah,” Spike whispered, “You will beg me; you’ll beg me to take you, to fuck you up against a wall. But, you know what, Xan? I’m going to tell you no. I’m going to make you wait and wait. I want you so hard and desperate for me that all I’ll have to do is touch you once and you’ll come.” Xander felt Spike’s cool hand snake down between his legs, barely staying in contact with the bulge pressing against his black jeans. Spike’s lips came to rest at the outer edge of Xander’s ear, and his hand rose and gripped the human’s cock hard as he growled, “Come for me, NOW!” The combination of Spike’s sudden, hard touch and that beautiful voice pushed Xander over the edge. He clasped his free hand on Spike’s hip and bucked up into him, gripping the hard cock in his other hand with a punishing stroke as he came with a roar. The vampire followed him into oblivion, shooting spurt after spurt of cold semen over Xander’s hand and shirt.

Xander leaned his forehead against his lover’s bare chest, and Spike dropped his head to his human’s shoulder. They both panted and gasped with the strength of their mutual release. Once his breathing returned to normal, Xander looked up into Spike’s beautiful blue eyes with amazement. “You’re incredible, baby,” he breathed. Spike answered him with a soft kiss, marveling at the responsiveness of the man beneath him. He really couldn’t wait for the rest of the night, since he truly intended to do every single thing he’d described to Xander. He felt his cock twitch and start to harden again at the thought, and climbed reluctantly to his feet. He held a hand out to his sticky, disheveled lover and pulled him off of the couch and toward the bathroom for a shower, stopping only to close the open door of their suite as they passed it.

Angel looked up as Buffy stepped into his office and closed the door behind her. He heard the small sound as the lock engaged. He took in her flushed face, and the way one hand was twining around her neck, rubbing over the claim mark he had placed there so long ago. He sniffed the air and a slow, sensual smile spread across his face as he smelled her arousal. He pushed his chair back from the beautifully carved antique desk and leaned back, spreading his legs. His eyes never left the shining green ones of his mate as she walked forward to stand between his knees. She looked down into his face, and then threw her head back, exposing her long throat and the silvery scar. Angel closed his hands on her upper arms and jerked her downward, his blunt teeth closing on his mark. She screamed.

Hot water pounded down on titian hair and flowed across pale skin. Willow leaned one arm against the marble wall of the shower and pressed her fingers harder into herself, thrusting and twisting. She swept her thumb across her clitoris and felt her internal muscles clench around her fingers as her orgasm shot through her. The picture in her mind wavered from that of a red-haired man to a blonde girl and back again as she sobbed in release.