Merry Christmas
Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

Merry Christmas

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To the best of my knowledge, all the experiences and phrases on this page are true

From Our House To Yours

Hi good friends! I hope you are enjoying the Holidays so far. First halloween and all that candy. Then comes Thanksgiving and all that delicious food, mmmmm. Now Christmas and even more good food. After this month we can all bring in the New Year with our usual New Years resolution to lose all the weight we gained over the last three months. Might take a whole year to do it. But at least we will be ready to start the Holidays all over again,lol.

I am so happy you came by my humble little corner of the web. For those that are new to my pages I collect funny phrases and experiences our children has put us through. If you haven't seen my previous pages I hope you will back up and look them over. Some are from me personally, some from friends and family, and sent in by friendly people just like you. If you would like to submit a funny experience of your own we would love to hear it. Just click on to "QUICK MAILER" at the bottom of this page. You can then submit your entry on the "QUICK MAILER FORM."

Before we start I suggest you get some nice hot chocolate, or egg nog. Settle down in your most comfy chair.

Comfy yet? Ok, the way we work this ..... We take turns telling our stories.

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OUR FRIEND MARE STARTS OFF WITH A COUPLE OF CUTE CHRISTMAS STORIES. NEVER A DULL MOMENT AT MARES HOUSE DURING THE HOLIDAYS:

Santa Claus:

When my daughter was a little over 2 1/2 and my son was about 3 months old, we went to go see Santa Claus at the mall. While on Santa's lap, my daughter went on & on about all the toys she wanted. Santa replied with, "Well, my darling. What about your brother?" My daughter replied, "Don't get him any more rattles. Mommy said that one more rattle in the house would rattle her brains out. Just make him a truck" So then Santa said, "OK! What does Mommy want?" She said, "I dunno. But get her a pot to piss in, because I know she don't have one of those." (Needless to say, I wanted to die!)

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Santa Claus in the fridge:

THIS IS THE BEST STORY...Sometimes I have to stop & laugh while I'm telling this story! This has become a family favorite! I HOPE I DON'T LOSE IT IN THE WRITING. This happened in 1996. My eldest daughter, was 8, my son was 6, & the baby was 1 month shy of his 2nd birthday. I had a funny feeling this was going to be the last Christmas my daughter would believe in Santa because of all the questions, like: "How does he do it in one day?" "How does he make all the kids in this whole world happy?" "How come you don't get any presents from Santa, Mommy?" I tried to answer her questions as honestly as possible, but I ended up with a lecture of how it was magic. "That it was the miracle of Christmas. That Santa is Saint Nick, & one of God Angel's. That with the help of God & His Angels all kinds of miracles happen, especially around Christmas." yadda...yadda..yadda. Needless to say, she didn't buy it. Being a single Mom, living in a 2 bedroom apartment, working 2 jobs & a Christmas tree that took up half the living room really took its toll on my kids. I believe in quality time with my kids, so we watched the classic Christmas story of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." The next day, the kids were at their wits-end, & if they weren't fighting about one thing then they were bickering about another. My patience had just run out & I yelled, "You better be Good! Santa is watching you!" Well (with my daughter still asking questions & acting like she "didn't believe" anymore) she responds with her hands on her hips, "Oh yeah!!! And how is Santa watching us? I don't see a video camera?" I was in disbelief of her attitude, but the surprised look on my face was no prize to the look my boys gave me. They were just as curious to hear the answer as she was. So I responded..."Well? Remember when we saw the movie 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town'?" ~ And they shook their head yes. So I continued, "Remember when Kris Kringle took the snow ball to make a magic crystal ball so he could see all the children being bad or good?" ~ And they shook their head yes again. "Well...?" I hesitated for a moment, then said in the most positive tone & with my hand on my hip, "I got that Crystal Ball! AND he could see if you are being good or bad!" My boys jaws hit the ground. But my daughter looks at me with those skeptical, big brown eyes & says, "I don't believe it! Where do you keep it?" And once again, my boys look at me to hear what I have to say. I feel so under pressure...the wheels in my head are spinning....I take a deep breath & continue, "Mommy keeps it behind the refrigerator." All three kids had the most puzzled look on their face that I found it difficult to keep a straight face..but I did. So, I said, "That's why when you open the refrigerator door, you see the light flashing. It's the Crystal Ball working. That is Santa's eyeball into the house. And he could see you. And you. And you, too!" pointing to all 3 three children separately. "When the light is on, that means Santa thinks you are good. And he will be coming to our house on Christmas Eve. BUT...when the light is off, that means you are bad & Santa is very upset with your behavior. Then he won't be coming to our house on Christmas Eve." I walked over to the fridge, opened the door & happily said, "Oh Boy! We are very lucky. The light is still on!" And then I bent my body over & peered my head in the fridge & said, "YES! YES, Santa. I had to tell them the truth. They will try harder to behave...OK. Good Night Santa!" and closed the door. I couldn't believe my kids fell for it! I was so convincing that there were moments of the day when you could see my kids open up the fridge, peer inside, smile & wave to the light bulb as if they were being watched by Santa. They opened up the fridge to say "Good Morning" to Santa. They opened up the fridge to say "Good Night!"-(lol) They showed him when they finished their dinner. And when they did well on tests. The funniest thing was that they made it a point to whisper around the fridge so that Santa wouldn't hear them when they would yell & fight with each other, (lol). Their bickering stopped for about a week. Then, one evening they were fighting on the kitchen floor about something. I mean, rolling around & fighting like animals! I couldn't take it anymore. I flung open the fridge door & screamed, "NOW YOU BELIEVE ME SANTA! CAN YOU SEE THEM FIGHTING!" And they nearly jumped out of their skin. They jumped so high & away from the shining light of the refrigerator that I thought they were gonna fly out of the window. They all scattered away from the opening of the door. But I told them that it was too late. Santa already had observed their bad behavior. My boys were upset because they weren't sure what was going to happen next. But my daughter, the skeptic, persuaded them not to worry. She told them, "Mommy is only kidding. Santa will be coming to our house. You'll see." That night I loosened the light bulb in the refrigerator. The next morning, my children had one of the most uncontrollable crying fits I ever beared witness to! I thought my kids were gonna have a heart-attack when they opened the door & the light was off! And when I walked in the kitchen to open the fridge & sadly commented, "THAT'S IT! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! SANTA AIN'T COMING TO THIS HOUSE! NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME, dear daughter!" I thought I was gonna have to call 9-1-1 for an oxygen tank. My kids were hysterical! (But I didn't give in...lol...they believed me. My daughter believed me. I had one more Christmas that she believed!!! Not that she believed in Santa....but that she believed in the Magic of Christmas!) It's now 1 week until Christmas, and the light in the fridge is still not working. My kids verified this by opening & closing the fridge about 100 times a day! I told them, "Forget about it. That it would take a miracle for Santa to forgive them for their behavior." "Well, we believe in miracles, Mommy," my youngest told me in the most angelic voice, "St. Nick will come to our house." That night, I woke up around 2:30 a.m. for a midnight snack. When I opened up the refrigerator, there was a note posted inside addressed to Santa Claus. Being the nosey body that I am, I opened the letter. It said:

Dear Santa, We are sorry for upsetting you. You don't have to bring us toys. Just bring mommy the George Forman Grill she wants. Please turn the light back on so you can see how good we are being. Don't punish mommy to.
Love,
Mommies 3 kids
Ps-We're still baking you cookies next week, so please just come over to get them. xxoo.

I couldn't stop crying. I tightened the light bulb back & took the letter (I still have it.) The next morning my kids were so happy-lol. They continued to open the refrigerator door, but this time to show Santa how they were bringing their dinner dishes to the sink, or waving to Santa, but most of all, they kept saying Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It was one of the best Christmas mornings. And even though it wasn't on the Christmas List...Santa got me my George Foreman Grill too.

LYNNETTE SENDS THIS CUTE ONE:

when my daughter was about 2 1/2 years old. She wanted a snack so we went to the refrigerator and we were looking at the contents and I was asking her if she wanted this one and then another one and she keep saying no. I finally said "what do you want the world handed you on a silver platter " and went on asking her about what else she might want. She said "what you said before". I stopped and thought for a moment and then I said " you mean the world handed to you on the silver platter?" She said "yes I want that"!

IT'S MY TURN TO TELL ONE:

When my son was 5 years old, he came into the kitchen while I was putting lunch on the table. He said the neighbor's daddy told him to come and tell me he and the little neighbor's daughter was playing in the dirt. I brushed the dust off of him and said, "That's nice, now go and wash up for lunch." While we were still eating lunch, the little girl's mom calls on the phone and wanted to know if my son had relayed the message from her husband. I told her "yes, he told me he and your daughter had been playing in the dirt. We are eating lunch right now, but he can come back out to play after nap time." My little angel didn't get the message exactly right. The original message was..."They had been playing dirty!"...Oh, the trials and tribulations we go through at this experimental age!

HERE IS A CUTIE FROM A NEW FRIEND MARIE:

My Great nephew was 3 last month, last sping when he was 2 I spend the night with him and my niece, his Mom, I never sleep when I stay cause he sleeps with me and chatters until he falls asleep and I stay awake to catch him when he starts falling out of bed...So I was pretty tired this morning hahah...Him and I were setting in the recliner him on my lap waiting to leave for Church. He started asking me questions about who God made. "Did God make Momma?" I said, "Yes Darlin he did" "Did God make Daddy?" "Yes Darlin he did" Did He make my little brother? "Yes Darlin he did" "Did God make me Maryee?" Of course he did Darlin" Finally and all this time he's been rubbing my cheek with the back of his hand and I'm eating this up. "Did God Make You Maryeee?" "Yes he did" "If God made you Maryeee, How come you're falling apart?"

Needless to say I lost it and his Mother wanted to fall through the floor.

I hope you enjoyed the phrases collected for this page as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Thank you so much for stopping by. I do hope you will return. New pages are being added all the time.

Before you leave I would be honored if you would sign my guest book located at the bottom of this page. To let me know you were here. I will gladly return the favor if you have a home page.

If you have a funny experience you would like to share with us just click on to "QUICK MAILER" at the bottom of this page. It is such fun to share and compare notes on our children and the fun side of raising them. Children are such a blessing.

Merry Christmas dear friends. Let us not forget that Jesus is the reason for the season. I pray you will have a good Christmas with your family and all your loved ones.

A Special Thank you goes to: Mare, Lynnette, Marie and of course my son. Boys, you notice I did not mention any names or give a clue as to WHICH son. So stop blushing before you give yourself away,lol. God Bless.

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