In The Beginning
In The Beginning There Was Darkness. Then God Created The Heavens And Earth,
And It Was Good. Then He Created People, And It Was Good. Then God Took All
The Rejected Crap That Was Left Over And Made Me, And God Stood Triumphantly
Over The World And Said, "Oh, Crap, What Have I Done." And As He Stood
There, His Smile Fell Off His Face. A Life Of Chaos Flashed Through His Mind. A
World Where Anarchy Ruled, And Evil Flowed From Every Pore In Every Person.
And Still He Stood Tall, And With A Mighty Voice He Spoke Out. Let There Be
Booze. And On The Seventh Day, God Closed His Massive Eyes And "Slept" In A
Pile Of Empty Beer Bottles.
DAY 8
- God Cashes in His Empties For $1.35 and Walks to buy Groceries.
- God forgets that he created Tax. Forced To beg for Food
- Successfully mooches $0.25 and a Bazooka Joe comic. One of the
Better ones, but still basically retarded.
DAY 9
- God Returns to the store.
- God Curses the day he invented inflation.
- God goes to bank.
- God loses his welfare to a fat Italian plumber who always
Eats pasta. (Wow, that sounds familiar)
DAY 10
- Mario And Luigi Oddly disappear from existence in there Bel-Air Mansion.
- God takes out a loan. (Surprisingly, The divine isn't a good enough job,
But after striking them down, there minds quickly changed.
DAY 11
- God gets an apartment that smells of urine and rotting flesh.
DAY 12
- Hired Goons Appear at Gods door. The Banks want their money back.
DAY 13 to 55
- God rests in hospital.
DAY 56
- God Gets Pissed And Calls Upon The Plague To Destroy Man Kind.
DAY 57
- God Curses The Day He Created Medicine.
DAY 58
- Report on the plague are in. 2 innocent bunnies and a wounded kitten are injured,
Estimated at 3 days for recovery.
DAY 59
- I rise to power and recognize the threat that the divine one poses.
- God Sleeps
DAY 60
- I summon my undead legions to destroy god and his followers.
- 2 of God's legions of short, fat, gay guys, (Don't Ask) falls victim to night raids
- 2 bunnies recover; wounded kitten has complications, another 2 days.
DAY 61
- Counter attacks rage across the land. Once proud cities fall to the
Fighting.
- Losses on both sides are heavy.
DAY 62
- Fighting spreads into populated centers. Many killed.
- Human factions begin joining sides. And mercenaries are hired.
- Wounded kitten returned to its owners.
DAY 63
- Combat has spread to every city on 3 continents, north and south
America, and Europe. Yet Canada mostly remains untouched because
God can't find it on his unmarked map.
DAY 64
- I call a seize fire.
DAY 65
- The gullible fool accepts.
DAY 66
- Raids force god's legions to flee from North America, and Europe
- War spills over into Asia and Africa
DAY 67
- A final battle takes place in Antarctica.
DAY 68 to 98
- Personal battle destroys most of Antarctica. A month passes
DAY 99
- A Mortal Wound is dealt. I reign supreme.
DAY 100
- As the news spreads, the world falls into Chaos. Anarchy Rules
and I become Dictator of the world.
