BOb's Favorite Things
Here is a page for some of my very favorite things.
Thing number 1: Sporks. Sporks are a lovely combination of spoons and forks, but they are so rarely recognized and appreciated. What would we do without sporks? It is what they use in elementary school cafeterias. Imagine if all the school cafeterias had to hand out spoons AND forks? The school would have to spend twice as much money of silverware. The schools would run out of money to buy textbooks and computers. The schools would lack proper education. Everyone in the public school system would grow up to be an uneducated hoodlum. They would not be able to get a job and America would be in Jeopardy. There would be no one qualified to be the president, because no one would want to. There would be no government, and the economy would colapse. This would start some sort of world war and soon the whole world would be blown up by a nuclear bomb and everyone would die. So, sporks are saving the world from devastation. They are saving mankind. Next time you get a spork from the cafeteria, kiss it. It keeps you alive.
Thing Number 2: Garden Hoses. Imagine if you had no garden hoses to water your garden with. You would go outside, see the thirsty plants and look around for your hose, but you wouldn't have one! How would you water your garden? You'd have to go inside and fill buckets of water in your bathtub. Next, you would have to attempt to dump the heavy bucket of water over the plant. If you are as clumsy as most people, you would probably either spill it all over yourself, or kill the plant by dropping the heavy bucket on it. This would not be good. Soon you would kill all your plants, and have a very ugly garden. Others may argue that you could use a bowl of water instead. So you could fill up a bowl using your kitchen sink, go outside and spill the water on a plant. However, it would get so boring going back and forth for more water, that you would probably want to hurry the process up, and start to run or walk quickly. The water would spill all over your house. No one would be able to have gardens, and all the Gardening magazines and shows would go out of business. Martha Stewart would think up artificial ways to decorate your garden, and become so popular and wealthy that she would take over the world. So next time you use a garden hose, kiss it. It saves the world from Martha Stewart.
Thing Number 3: Moose. Have you ever really thought about the word Moose? It is a wonderful word. Say it ten times fast. Yay! It should make you feel all jolly inside. This is very important because if no one ever felt jolly, it would be a very sad world. When I say Moose I feel jolly, and when I feel jolly, everyone else feels jolly too! Therefore, if there were no moose, everyone would feel jolly much less, and the world would be a saddish place. :( So next time you say moose, kiss yourself. Moose saves the world from being sad.
Email: bob_onekooldood@hotmail.com
