The Art of Showering
It would seem that there are many students at the University College of Cape Breton who could benefit greatly from a little help with their personal hygiene. By reading this essay the reader can learn the proper procedures for taking a shower.
Showering is of course, one of the most popular forms of self-cleansing here in Canada. Through the course of this essay, it will be assumed that the showerer is male. A female would follow the same steps.
The first step in the showering process is locating the shower. It can usually be found in the bathroom. When showering in a house other than ones own, he should ask one of the tenants for directions. Upon arrival in the bathroom, he must begin the pre-shower routine.
The pre-shower routine is a simple one. He will first turn on the water, and adjust the temperature. Each of these acts is done using the knob(s) located in the shower.
He must be careful doing this, because incorrect temperature adjustment can be the difference between a good day and a bad one. While waiting for the shower to heat up, it is recommended that he remove all clothing.
Now that he is naked, and the shower is steaming, it is time to get in. This should be done using great care, as the standing surface will be wet, and probably slippery.
Always remember that when taking a shower a standing position should be maintained. The pre-washing activities have now been completed.
Soap is the most important ingredient in the giant cake that is personal cleanliness. He should pick this item up and rub it between his palms. After a few seconds he will discover the buildup of a nice foam. He then uses his hands, or a facecloth, to rub the foam over all of his flesh covered body parts. It is recommended that this be done from top to bottom. If done in the reverse order he may find filth from his upper body running down onto his previously soaped lower body.
Once he has completed the lathering process, it is time to rinse. The preferred rinsing technique is “Stand in the Wet”. To do this, he simply stands underneath the showerhead and allows it to strip the soap from his body. As simple as this seems, some physical effort is required here too. The showerer must lifts his arms and spin around a couple of times. This movement will help make sure that he doesn’t miss any spots.
The only thing left is hair washing. To do this he will pick up a bottle labeled
“Shampoo”. He should squeeze a small amount of this product into his hand, and then place the hand on the top of his head. He will next rub the shampoo through his hair.
This will result in lather similar to that which the soap left on his fleshy body parts.
He should not stop lathering until he feels that he has covered each strand of hair.
Once satisfied, he will rinse the shampoo out using the same technique as he used to rinse the soap. Shampoo rinsing often requires aid from the hands. They are used to move the top hair, and allow the jet streams access to the under hair.
He can now turn off the shower, because he is clean. He is free to dry off, put on some clean clothes, and enjoy his day.
Chris Brown
~Official Property of Bronson Creations Inc.~
Email: thebronsman@yahoo.com
