101

So this is 101 things to hate about life....something Paula and I came up with over the years..some of them are actually amusing and some of them I wonder what kind of crack I was on...

1.Life (The fact that we are living)

2.Copycats (You can't copy on a test why copy in life?)

3.Pencils made in China (Why won't they sharpen?)

4.Spice Girls (Where's the clothes?)

5.Hanson (3 brothers...hun...where?...I see 3 sisters)

6.Holes in loose leaf (Why aren't they stronger?)

7.Substitute teachers (Why don't they know anything?)

8.Sunlight (Why does it hurt our eyes?)

9.Dumb quizzes in YM (We would do none of the alternatives)

10.How most goo d-looking guys are gay (What a waste)

11.People who sing too loud for their voice (LALALALA)

12.Paula Cole (The cowboys are gone...so?)

13.Girls who wear bras as tops (It's cold out put on some clothes!)

14.Spandex (Icky!)

15.Ragwed (not wee d...RAGweed)

16.Perky people (Like...get a life...like)

17.Color pink (It's meant for bubble gum and flowers)

18.Mushrooms (It's a fungus...you don't eat fungus)

19.Golf (Except when you skip seven holes)

20.N'Sync (You are not the Backstree t Boys)

21.People talking about themselves in the third person (Unless your Durd)

22.Dictionaries (If you don't know how to spell the word how do you look it up when everything\rquote s in alphabetical order)

23.Jimmy Ray (If you don't know who you are we don't care)

24.Disneyland (You think your a whole world)

25.Susan Lucci (it\rquote s about time)

26.Pens that don't write upside down (Sometimes it's just necessary)

27.Teachers who only hear you when you have the wrong answer (Hello, Mike!!!!)

28.Two faced people (You can't be bitchy AND nice)

29.Lamb Chop's "This is the Song that Doesn't End (It does end...when you stop singing it)

30.Barney

31.Sesame Park (I want street back)

32.People who are actually scared by horror flics (I know what you did last summer and I don't care)

33.Titanic (If the ship doesn't sink call me)

34.CRTC (No one wants to watch reruns of Road to Avonlea all day)

35.Melyssa off Master Control (I know how to make a birdfeeder from a milk carton. I'm not 3!)

36.Fractions (Why can't they be decimals)

37.Donna & Jonny Wright (Get your own damn money)

38.When it snows in April (Why?)

39.How there is not enough middle in an Oreo cookie (5 middles equal 1 cookie)

40.Subtracting integers (Why can't the sign be the sign)

41.History (Why do I have to learn about people who have been dead for 5600 years)

42.Velcro (Why is it never quiet when you want it to be?)

43.Stupid people (If you can't get an average above 10 you should be brain dead)

44.Stick People (Why are they always anorexic?)

45.Thin Ice signs (Who put them out there?)

46.Plastic rap on CD's (Why are there five layers that are impossible to get off?)

47.Stupid questions (What is the number to 911?)

48.*69 (Now the r efrigerator repairman can't call)

49.Little voice inside your head (Why does it keep nagging and how can I turn it off?)

50.Tests

51.Songs that get stuck in your head (I'm leaving on a jet plane...)

52.Short term memory (What did I just say?)

53.One way street sign (You can only go one way)

54.Tape (It's sticks for less than five seconds)

55.Happy Birthday Song (No one can sing it in tune)

56.Billy Graham (The Lord saves those who are silent too. HINT!! HINT!!)

57.Lou Pearlman (Yo u got it right the first time why did you try again?)

58.People who can't take directions (He said brake not gas. Sorry Nicole!)

59.html img src"http://djjfkdjvkjvv" sure i get it

60.Couples attached at the hip (Allen and Melissa get a room)

61.Bad comebacks (Shut-up is a conversation ender not a comeback)

62.Gravity (I wish I could fly)

63.Perminent marker (It's really not THAT permanent)

64.Stupid things you really don't mean to say ("35. You bitch!!!!" Sorry Jamie when you call the teacher a bitch it's all over)

65.Piled on make-up (Can you say Mimi Bobeck?)

66. When in rains on your vacation (I came to get away from this)

67.Windows on the bus (They never open)

68.Two sided posters in magazines (Why are the two you want to p ut up always on back of each other)

69.Lays potato chips slogan (I can eat just one if I really, really tried)

70.Toys that break five seconds after you take them out of the package (Allen, Stephen didn't mean to break the bug)

71.Computer program ming (Colon, semi-colon there's a difference?)

72.Shoelaces (They never stayed tied all day)

73.Flared pants (They are just teeny, tiny bell bottoms)

74.Stick glue (It works for about five seconds but sticks to you forever)

75.Garbage cans (The y are never where you need them to be)

76.Suran Wrap (This stuff sticks to everything-mostly itself)

77.Britney Spears ('Hit Me Baby One More Time'-I'll hit you, gladly!)

78.There are never enough red smarties in the box (I'll eat the red ones last.. .there are any?)

79.Safety scissors (Don't cut skin, hair, clothes or PAPER!)

\par 80.Movie sequels (couldn\rquote t you finish it all the first time)

81.Biology (The reason why I'm not taking it)

82. Having to clean our room (There should be a magical button)

83.When the computer tells you to press \ldblquote any key\rdblquote (There is no any key)

84.People with no opinion (If you don\rquote t care, why do you put up such a shit?)

86.Typeing tutor programs (The sentences make no sense.)

87. Soap Opera\rquote s acting quality (They\rquote re crying, your laughing)

88.Junk mail (I have enough trash as is)

89.Furby (They\rquote re cool until you get one, turn it off PLEASE)

90.Marlyn Manson (If men were meant to have breasts, they would have been born with them)

91.Tare-away shorts (What do you wear under them)

92.Finishing in second place (Your just the first loser)

93.Platform sneakers (Your centre of gravity is messed, besides aren\rquote t sneakers made for running)

94.Popcorn jellybeans (Popcorn was never meant to be sweet)

95.Frozen Peas (Make better amo then food)

96.Cheap nail polish (I want my nail coloured, not my finger)

97.Hoof prints ice cream (The person with you always seems to get more hoof prints)

98.Stereo types (Just because one did it, doesn\rquote t mean they all will)

99.Sunglasses' legs (They break to easily, Ed stop hitting me in the head)

100. Security cameras in dressing rooms (What pervs do they hire to watch these all day?)

101.People who make stupid lists