A phone conversation, between two lovers

This is a phone conversation between Lance and Topanga. Don't ask me how I got my grubby little hands on it, cuz I'm not telling.

Lance~ Hey baby, what you been doin' tonight?
Topanga~ Oh, nothing, just washing my hair.
Lance~ I love it when you talk like that, what kind of shampoo did you use?
Topanga~ Suave.
Lance~ Does you hair smell real clean? Is it really soft, and silky?
Topanga~ Duh, of course, you know I have the best hair in the world, perfect, perfect hair. It is always soft and silky, what did you wash your hair with today, my lovely Lance.
Lance~ I used the good stuff, just like you taught me, White rain. And you were so right, it does feel good.
Topanga~ I told you I am the smartest person alive, I wish there were 300 million more of me walking around, then the world would be perfect.
Lance~ Um, ok. I'm from Mississippi, that makes me pretty cool.
Topanga~ You are kinda cool, just not half as cool as I am. We both know it's true. I love working on that super popular show I am starring on, I just really can't wait until I really get discovered, and get to be a big star, just like Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Lance~ Um, ok. When you're from Mississippi, you like to talk about your bitches beatiful hair, so go ahead, tell me more about your hair.
Topagna~ I am so going to pretend you didn't just try to be a man, and tell me what to do. But that is my favorite thing to talk about, so ok, I will. I had like, 5 split ends today, so I had to go get a trim, And the girl that did my hair wanted to blow dry it, and curl it, so I had to put her in her pathetic little place. And I am proud to say that no blow dryer with it's hot, harmfull air, or a hot, horrible curling iron touched my precious hair. Oh, my, it's time to go look in the mirror again, it has been like, 4 minutes, so I have to go.
Lance~ OK, my sweet, I will let you go, just 'cuz I know that you will do it anyway. Call me tommarow, ok.
Topanga~ I will do whatever I want. You will just have to wait and see.
Lance~ I love you. I can't wait to see you again. Every night without you is torture.
Topanga~ Whatever.