I couldn’t sleep well. I don’t know why, but the whole episode with Bradley had left me nervous and scared. It happened only a month ago, but still shook me at night. This particular night I headed to the roof, hoping no one was there, cause that usually got me into trouble. There wasn’t anybody, thank goodness. I leaned back against a crate and breathed in the night air. I heard a movement behind me and jumped up to find two dark eyes watching me. Panda. I sighed in relief.
“Hey Panda.” She nodded back. She didn’t talk a whole lot. I tried again.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” She nodded again and sat next to me, watching the stars. I sat back down and watched her profile. She was a skittish girl whose eyes revealed her fear of the world and its horrors. Quite the opposite of my outlook on life. I didn’t say anymore and just looked at the sky as well.
“Dutchy?” she whispered. I snapped my head over to her. Her eyes were asking me a question.
“No, he’s not keeping me awake, Bradley is.” I said intently. She cocked her head to the side, not totally believing me. I sighed.
“Well, both of them actually.” She nodded. I asked her a question this time.
“Do you have someone special?”
She blushed a little. “Kinda. He’s a boxer.” I nodded, I knew of Panda’s training.
“How’d you know about Dutchy?” I was curious, I hadn’t told anyone except Seven. A small smile appeared on her face.
“When no one’s lookin, it shows on yer face.” I chuckled.
“Well, thanks for telling me. I’ll work on that.” We didn’t speak after that for awhile. I was content that someone cared. Panda had intrigued me ever since I’d come to Manhattan. Maybe the fact that she had talked to me persuaded me to ask my next question.
“Um, are you going to the boxing place tomorrow?” She nodded, still looking ahead. I tried another question.
“Can I come?” She looked at me then, shocked. Her eyes then asked me why.
“Well,” I stumbled over my words. “Um, I’ve never been and I guess I don’t want to be with Bumlets and Seven tomorrow or any of the other couples.” I looked away, embarrassed.
“Shoa.” I looked back at her, shocked she had agreed. Her eyes were open and friendly, a balm to my troubled spirit.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She nodded.
“I’ll meet ya a da statue at 10.” I nodded and headed back in to go to sleep.
“Thanks, Panda.” I whispered back. I don’t know if she heard me, but I had to say it. I fell right asleep when I hit the pillow.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of Kloppman’s voice. I stretched and headed to the washroom. After trying to wash the sleep out of my eyes I got dressed and headed down to the lobby and out the door to the distribution center. I waved to Seven and Bumlets, but continued on my way, not even looking at Dutchy. My eyes did usually reveal too much anyway. I got my papers and went out to sell them quickly, wanting to join Panda soon.
I sold quickly, having only taken only about half of what I usually bought. I arrived at the statue an hour early and sat down to work on Amelia’s story. I liked this one, no romance, but an amazing girl’s life. She was strong and always spoke her mind, something I wish I did more often.
After awhile I looked up and saw Panda standing in front of me, just waiting. I smiled at her as I got up.
“Good Morning.” She nodded and headed towards the boxing place, I assume. I shrugged and followed her. I looked around the city as I trailed her. I really did like Manhattan. I never thought I’d enjoy living in a city; I lived in a small town before here.
She stopped and entered a building, called Frankie’s. I entered behind her to find a whole lot of guys with their shirts off and punching and kicking just about anything. I began to blush at the obvious amount of bare skin, but tried to hide it. A smaller guy came over to Panda.
“Hey, Panda.” His voice was warm and I immediately figured out who her boxer was. He noticed me behind her and smiled. “Hi, are you a newsie too?”
I nodded, smiling a little back. “Yes, I’m Muse.” He shook my hand.
“Nice to meet ya, Muse. I’m Andy.”
“You too, um, is it okay if I watch for awhile?” I was a little nervous, Panda had left us to start cleaning and I felt pretty vulnerable.
Andy smiled again. “Sure, no problem, you can sit over there if ya want.” He pointed to an isolated corner in the gym. I nodded.
“Thanks” I walked over and sat down. I opened my journal to a new page and wrote “boxing” on top of it. I slipped on my glasses and began to write down what I saw and how the men fought. Once you get past the shocking violence of it, it looked more like an art, almost a dance. The moves were efficient and graceful; each precisely practiced and thought out. I got caught up in the dance, almost mesmerized by the beauty of it.
“Hello.” A deep voice interrupted my musings. I looked up into two blue eyes, warm and friendly. My throat caught. One of the many, half-dressed boxers was standing, looking down on me. And he was good-looking.
“Um, hi.” I whispered back. He was huge, I mean muscled, I wasn’t used to that, not with the newsboys, they were pretty lean, strong, but sinewy.
He smiled. “I’m Scott, you’re…?” He seemed truly interested.
“I’m Muse.” He nodded.
“You’re a friend of Panda’s?” I nodded
“I’m a newsie too.”
He cocked his head to the side, as if in amazement.“Really? You don’t talk like one.” I blushed.
“I’m not from here.”
“Ahh, so, if you’re a newsie, why are you here?” He indicated the gym.
I shrugged. “I like to write and this might be necessary for a story and I felt like tagging along with Panda today.” I told him. He smiled again.
“Oh, an aspiring writer comes to New York City to be published, works as a newsie to live, right?”
I blushed again. “Right.”
He nodded. “Sounds good to me, doll.” He looked at the ring and then back at me. “Well, Muse, it was nice to meet you.” He smiled at me again, making my heart jump a little.
“You, too, Scott.” I smiled back. He left me sitting there and went back to his training. I looked at my journal. Oh dear, not another one, I don’t think I could handle it again.
He was different than Dutchy, in looks as well as effect on me. Scott seemed more above me, so to speak. Dutchy seemed gentle and merry as opposed to Scott who almost seemed dangerous and alluring. I shook my head, not good, not good at all. Guys don’t like girls like me, I’m too different. I knew that was the way it would always be.
I followed Panda home that day, my mind full of thoughts. We passed an editor’s office and I stood in front of it. I could sense the smell of ink and paper as I stood there. I loved that smell.
“Merlyn?” I turned to look into some very familiar hazel eyes.
“Janette?” I looked at my younger, bolder sister in shock. She smiled.
“Sis, it’s good to see you.” she hugged me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked when she pulled back. She pushed her gorgeous hair out of her face.
“What a welcome.” I immediately felt contrite.
“I’m sorry, it’s good to see you too. But why are you here? You hate cities.” She shrugged.
“I’m here to invite you to my wedding.” She said nonchalantly. My eyes widened even more.
“You’re getting married?!” She nodded smiling.
“Yes,”
“To who?”
“Who do you think?” She giggled, revealing her age, despite her older appearance.
“Nicholas?” I spoke of her long time love, since she was about eleven and he sixteen. Janette was now sixteen, which would make Nicholas twenty-one.
She nodded, blushing prettily. “Yes, in May.” It was now March.
“May? Why are you here then?” She shook her head, as if the answer was obvious.
“I need you to come back and help. That’s what sisters do.” She talked down to me, patronizing. I sighed. And she spoke again, “Who’s that?” She pointed down the street. I looked and it was Panda waiting, confused. I smiled and waved.
“Go on, Panda, I’ll be coming later.” She nodded and continued on her way. “She’s a friend, sis.” I told Janette. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“She’s a street rat.”
“No, she’s a newsie as am I.” I defended, knowing this would probably be a losing battle.
“You’re a newsie, why?”
“I needed a job while I write, to support myself.” I explained.
Janette looked appalled. “Mother and Father wouldn’t approve of this.” I rolled my eyes, remembering one of the reasons I left home.
“Mother and Father would be proud that I’m doing well on my own, you’re the one who wouldn’t and doesn’t approve.”
“Whatever you say, that’s not the reason I came here.” She brushed it off, “I want you to came back, so does Mother.”
I crossed my arms, not intimidated by my younger sister, the only one who didn’t intimidate me. “For a visit, or for good?”
“A visit of course, sister.” She forced a laugh.
“I’ll come for the wedding, not for the preparations.” I announced, heading home.
She followed. “Oh, come on, Merlyn, …”
“I don’t know anything about weddings, I’d only be in the way.” I replied, which was true. Writing was the only thing I did well. That and well, other things.
“Mother wants you to come back, Merlyn.” She pouted.
I arrived at the lodging house. “I don’t want to come back. I haven’t even gotten published yet.” I spoke haughtily and entered, with my sister following. Everyone was in the downstairs area. Seven waved at me. I waved back.
“Have you even tried?” Janette’s voice was knowing.
“Not yet.” I defended, “But my first story has just finished.”
“Sure it has.” The whole group was quiet as we talked. “I…” I interrupted her.
“Sis, this really isn’t the time or place.” I indicated our audience, blushing at the attention. She looked around.
“All I see are street rats, scum, dear sister.” I saw Jack stand up, furious as others also shouted denials.
“They are not such, Janette.” I spoke firmly, “They are my friends.”
“Friends?” she scoffed, “What about your friends at home?”
“I never had friends at home.” I spoke, sadly. “You know that.”
“Well, that’s because you always had your nose in your silly journal.” She sneered, “I don’t know why Mother and Father let you come here, you’ll never make it.” That cut hurt deeply, but I just smiled.
“Well, they let me come because I’m practically an adult now and they know I can take care of myself. I don’t have to marry just to be happy.” The others in the room laughed and cheered at that remark.
My sister scowled. “I’ll be at the hotel down the street. I’m leaving in two days. I expect you to join me. After all, we are sisters.” And she flounced off. I let out a big sigh. I hadn’t stood up to Janette in a very long time. I looked at my friends, for they were my friends.
Seven came over to me. “Where were you today? Bumlets and I were wondering.”
“Oh, Panda and I went to the boxing ring. I thought I’d take notes.” I smiled at her. The newsies began to talk amongst themselves.
“Oh, ya gotta boy dere, too?” Quips piped up. Everyone heard her and looked at me expectantly. I blushed deeply at the insinuation, thinking slightly of Scott the boxer.
“Of course not.” I replied, “I thought knowing boxing stuff might be useful in a story someday.” They all nodded; some smiling, not believing me. They all went back to their conversations and pastimes.
I looked over at Dutchy, not meaning to, and caught his eye. He looked at me, but I really couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He looked…pensive. I know what I was thinking. Scott didn’t hold a candle to Dutchy. Just seeing him brought it all back. I smiled slightly at him, our first contact in months. He nodded back. I turned at headed upstairs. I sat down on my bunk in thought. I missed him. Our friendship had been so nice. I looked around the room and saw Panda, looking off into space.
“Hey Panda?” she turned to look at me, “Thanks for letting me come with you today. I don’t know if I’ll go back, but thanks.” She nodded.
I sighed. Janette was getting married. I knew I had to go back. I didn’t want to. Home held no interest for me anymore. I needed to be here, New York City, and become a writer and prove to all of them that I can. I smiled. I’d do it. I’ll go to some of the editors’ offices tomorrow.
“Janette, you’re wrong.” I whispered, “I can do it and I will.”