PANDA

She slowly opened her eyes. All she saw were blurry, unrecognizable faces standing over her. She was in an unfamiliar room, and in a bed for the first time in a long while.

Her mother had died when she was about five, which hadn't been particularly upsetting for Anne, because from what the girl could remember of her, she had been drunk anyways. Her father, however was worse, much worse. Not only was he a drunk, but he beat her constantly. For as long as she could remember, he had locked her in a closet, or anywhere else out of the way that he could think of for days at a time, with no food or water of any sort. He might have locked her in her room, if it weren't for the fact that she didn't have one.
She had been subjected to this treatment for about eleven years. As of the last few weeks she was home, the beatings got progressively worse. Then one day she walked by her father's bedroom, and saw him passed out on his bed. Something rose up in her then, utter and total revulsion towards herself, her father, and what he was doing to her. So she did what she probably should have done a long time ago. She ran. She just ran, and she never once looked back.
Her one problem was that she couldn't have picked a worse place to run too. In the next three months or so, everything that could have possibly happened to her did. She got beaten, raped, mugged, and even once, in a case of mistaken identity, shot at.
Her biggest problem was that while all this was happening to her she couldn't scream. She couldn't even speak for that matter. She hadn't been able too since she was very little.

Anne blinked and gazed up in confusion at the faces above her, and then, shaking, got as far away from them as she possibly could.
When she hit the wall she stopped and looked at them, her eyes wide with fear.

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Jack, Blink, Race, Mush, and Spot (who was in Manhattan due to a few problems with certain law inforcers in Brooklyn), had been walking through the Bronx on their way back to Manhattan from a poker game in Harlem, and that was where they had found the girl lying in the middle
of the street. They hadn't really known what to do, so Mush had shrugged and thrown her over his shoulder, suprised at how light she was. He had easily carried her back to the Lodging House, where he put her on an empty bed. Then everyone had become involved in a game of craps.
When Jack heard her moving around, he motioned to a few people, and walked over to the bed. They were just in time to see her eyes open.

At first her eyes were confused, but then, almost immediatly they filled with terror, as she scooted towards the far wall. She hit the wall, and just lay there shaking, staring with her large, terrified, brown, almost black eyes.

"Hey, it's aright, we ain't gonna hoit ya," said Spot in a puzzled voice. The girl gave no indication she heard, she just kept shaking and staring.

"Maybe she don't know English." suggested Mush.

"Do - you - understand - what - I'm - sayin?"asked Jack slowly.

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She heard them, and she understood them, but she was in a panic. Then when the boy with the brown hair and cowboy hat asked her if she understood him, she was able to think clearly enough to nod. She also stopped shaking, but stayed where she was, and eyed them wearily.

"Well wasamatta den?" asked a boy with frizzy brown hair.

He was waiting for her to answer, but she didn't.

A blond boy with a patch on his left eye spoke up. "Ya gonna answer him?" he asked, more curious than annoyed. Anne didn't try to conciously indicate anything, but she absently put her hand on her throat.

Then something dawned on a short Italian boy with dark hair. "Can ya talk?" Anne hesitated, and just when they thought she wasn't going to answer, she shook her head slowly.

The five guys looked at each other, then at their feet. "Oh." was all the cowboy could say "Sorry."

A boy with light brown hair, and bluish grey eyes seemed to suddenly get an idea. "Hey, dya do dat hand sign stuff" he asked, waving his hands around. He got no response, neither positive nor negative. "I guess dat's a no," he said sarcastically.

"Do ya mean sign language Spot?" came a female voice from across the room.

"Yeah, I guess," said Spot. A pretty girl jumped off a bunk across the room, stretched, and walked over to Spot. "Howd ya know dat Dusk?" he asked.

"Cause"said Dusk putting an arm around him, "I read."

"Oh," said Spot, then he realize it was an insult "Hey!" but by then he knew it was pointless, because no one was listening to him anymore.

"I thought I told ya ta wake me up when she woke up,"said Dusk.

"Oops," said Spot grinning

She glared at him "Yeah, I'll show ya oops," she muttered, then she smiled.

"Sorry, we forgot," said Jack simply.

Dusk accepted this, and then turned to the scared looking girl. "Ya OK?" she questioned. Once again, just when they thought she wouldn't answer, she nodded slightly.

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Anne was in extreme pain, both physical, and emotional. The guys figured that whoever did whatever they did to her just knocked her around a little. They were wrong.

She was bruised and bloodied and beaten on just about every inch of her body. The only things hiding the blood were her dark clothing, and the lack of light in the Lodging House. Anne knew the blood would be visible in the morning. She dreaded the morning, because she knew the morning would bring more people, and more attention. She couldn't stand people. She knew for a fact, there was no such thing as a decent person.
She didn't know why these people cared one way or the other, but she was sure they had some ulterior motive. They scared her, as all people did. She hated them, and she hated herself. She wished she was dead with all of her heart, and if she had had any energy left at all, she might very well have attempted to grant that wish herself. But as it was, she didn't have the strength to move.

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"Hey kid, wake up! Ya know we gotta getcha a name fore we haveta - geez goil! What da - Jack! Hey Jack! Get ovea heah quick!" yelled Race, staring at the girl.

Jack, alarmed at Race's tone of voice, came trotting over immediatly. He stopped when he got to the girls bed, right near Race. "Somet'in wrong wit' da goil? Is she - oh ----!...Okay, so um, how'd we miss dat?"

One of the girls sleeves had been rolled up since they had last seen her the night
before, and a pant leg had been unintentionally hiked up in her sleep. There was a jagged cut going over six inches down her leg. Her elbow and entire forearm was scraped up, and her actual arm was difficult to see through the blood. They could also see that there were ugly finger shaped blue bruises, almost covered up by her collar. In addition to all of this, they saw the blood stains all over her clothes.

While they were still staring, Blink came up with a few other guys who hadn't seen Anne yet. His eyes widened when he saw what the other two saw. "How'd we manage ta miss dat?" he said with a similar reaction.

"Well what da we do now?" asked Skittery who also walked over, as he motioned to the still sleeping girl.

"Well" said Jack, "maybe Dusk'd see what she could do."

Spot walked over to Dusk and asked her if she could hunt down some new clothes and bandages for the girl or something, and Dusk easily agreed.

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"Excuse me, um..." Dusk didn't really know what to call the girl "Excuse me..." the girl slowly opened her eyes, and looked around, and then she looked at Dusk with a raised eyebow. Dusk thought for a minute. "They said someone soaked ya pretty good."
The girl half-shrugged.

Fifteen minutes later, Dusk had attempet to help the girl bandage her arm, but she was suprisingly deft, considering the fact that she was using only one hand, and shrugged off any form of help. Dusk figured she'd done her best, so she gave the girl a smile and left.

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Anne lay in bed all day, she thought about, and even attempted, leaving, but she was practical, and knew by the way she felt that she wouldn't get far.
So she had no choice but lying still and waiting for everyone else to get back.

When she heard their feet clattering up the stairs, she felt the familiar fear creeping over her. She
tried to fight it, but she couldn't help it. She felt herself curling up, and scooting towards the wall. , and she was helpless to do anything about it. She stared at a point just above the door until it blurred, and kept her eyes rigidly there until the door flew open, and people came trooping in.
Most went to their bunks, or started a big poker game in the middle of the room, but Jack and Race came over to her bunk.

"Hey," said Race with a smile. Anne looked at him with wide eyes. "Gee ya don't smile a whole lot do ya?" He still got no response.

Then Jack spoke up "We gotta find somethin' ta call ya 'cause we don't know your name, an we can't go round callin' ya goil."

"Yeah," said Race, "how bout..." he looked at her dark hair, pale skin, and dark eyes. "How bout...Panda!"

Jack grinned and looked at Anne "You want it?"Anne did nothing in either direction. "I'll take dat as a yes."
From then on, it was quickly made known that "da goil" was now Panda.

Race came back a little before Panda went to bed. "Hey g- I mean Panda," he half grinned. "Ya gonna
be ok?"
Panda hesitated for a minute, then shrugged.
Race walked away, feeling slightly relieved. Just about everyone there would agree that strange as she was, there was just something about Panda that made you worry. Maybe it was her face, but more likely it was her eyes, eyes far too old for anybody so young. Whatever it was it made people unable to shake the feeling that she was special. In some way other than her silence she was different, but no one knew how or why.

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Panda woke up alone in the room. Everyone else had left, and somehow managed not to wake her, which, in itself was a small miracle. She looked around once, then turned painfully over, and fell back to sleep.

She awoke with someone's hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently. She convulsively jerked away as she opened her eyes. Then she slowly looked over at Dusk.

"Hey" said Dusk cheerfully "I got done sellin' early so I came ta see ya."

Panda could see Dusk seemed to be worried about her, but she couldn't imagine why. Panda kept looking at her, and then Dusk stepped foward.

"Oh, these are for you," she said, holding out clean clothes "I figured you needed them," she smiled. "Well now I gotta go meet da guys, so I'll see ya later."

About an hour later Mush came in, claiming he forgot his hat. The hat he picked up looked suspiciously like Skittery's, but Panda of course said nothing.

About a half hour after that, in came Race, and Crutchy. "We came 'cause we was worried," said Crutchy cheerfully, and that was the first honest explanation she'd gotten all day.

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That night, Jack and Spot deemed her well enough to earn to sell. Then they ran into a couple of problems.

What if she didn't want to be a newsie?
And how was she going to sell if she couldn't talk, let alone look anyone in the eye?

They decided to take things one step at a time. First they asked her if she wanted to be a newsie. She closed her eyes, and shook her head no, wildly.

"Well, dat answers dat anyways," said Jack sadly.

"Wait a minute," said Spot slowly. "Why not?"

Panda shrugged nervously

Spot narrowed his eyes. "What, are we not good enough for ya or somethin'?"

Panda quickly shook her head

"Den what is it?" asked Spot, getting slightly insulted.

Panda, looking absolutely miserable, shrugged.

"Well?" asked Spot, irrationally, forgetting that Panda couldn't talk. He misinterpreted the look on her
face, and figured that after all they had done for her, she could at least not look so insulted when they brought up the idea.

"Hey!" said Jack. "Lay off'er, will ya Spot?"

"Well 'scuse me, but she don't have to act like bein' a newsie's so disgustin'"

The two were steadily raising their voices

"Ya don't know dat's what she meant"

"Well just look at'er she's -"

"No," said Jack in a lowered voice, "YOU look at'er."

Spot glanced at her, and did a double take. Panda looked scared out of her mind. She was trembling
uncontrolably, but was suprisingly dry eyed.
Spot immediatly looked grief stricken. "Aww...I'm sorry" he said grudgingly "I didn't mean it. If
ya don't wanna be a newsie, dat's ok..."

There was no apparent change, it was as if she had tuned the two out.

Eventually, Panda stopped shaking, but curled up in a ball, and kept her eyes closed tightly.

Jack turned to Spot "I think we'd better leave her alone..."

Spot nodded, sent her one more guilty glance, and started to walk away. Just as he and Jack were
leaving, Dusk walked over, took one look at Panda, then whirled around and grabbed Spot by the back of his collar.

"Spot! What da HELL dya do ta her?!?!" she demanded.

Spot shrugged, and turned to look at Panda once again. "I dunno, but can ya see if ya can do somethin'
'bout it? She's makin me kinda noivous."

Dusk glared at him, making him EXTREMELY nervous.

Then she walked over to Panda, and tried and tried to calm her down.

Eventually Race came over and tried to help, but if anything he just made whatever it was worse.
She only calmed down when sleep overcame her.

The next morning, Spot, trying to make amends for the previous night, offered to let Panda come with
him while he was selling. He basically got the same look, and head shaking, and he noticed something he hadn't noticed the night before, he noticed complete terror.

So he shrugged. "Fine, ya can stay heah."

This went on for about a week, until she was basically forced outside. Race had gotten into the habit
of having lengthy one-way conversations with her. She barely even acknowledged the fact that he was there, but that didn't stop him in he least.

What really got to people was her over all demeanor. She acted so sad. No one had ever seen her smile. Her eyes didn't really focus on a person unless they had been standing there for a while. She seemed off in some sort of make believe fantasy world most of the time. She barely ate, and she was never without a depressed look. Despite all of this, no one had ever seen her cry. She looked at the point in which most people would be sobbing, but as far as they knew, she had never shed a tear. In short, she looked as sad as humanly possible, and yet she was always totally composed. She'd  obviously have perferred everyone to leave her alone, but it was apparent that that wouldn't happen anytime in the near future.

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