Chapter Eighteen

“I can’t believe the guys are leaving in just over a month,” Kerry sighed, pushing her shades up onto her head. It was a week since our trip to the beach, and Kerry and Nick were, at least, getting along. We were both laying on the sun chairs by Kerry’s pool. My tan had improved a great deal since arriving in the US, and I still had a little under four months stay left.

“I know. It’s gone so quickly.” I agreed. “Do you think we’ll all… you know… stay together?” Kerry closed her eyes against the sun,

“I don’t know,” she answered, “I hope so. I mean AJ said they’d be back in five months.” I sighed,

“Kerry, I’m going home in three. I won’t get to see Nick for…” I attempted to calculate, but was unsuccessful, “…ages!” Kerry smiled,

“It’ll work itself out,” she said, reassuringly. Will it? I go back to England, Nick will be touring and when he’s not, he’ll want to be at home. Not with me in England. I let out an exasperated sigh and laid back, to make the most of the sunny Florida weather.

I hummed along to the radio as I made myself a sandwich. Nick was doing some promotion, performance thing with the group, and Kerry had gone along to watch. I had decided to stay behind as Nick’s grouchy attitude was beginning to get on my nerves. As I finished cleaning up the kitchen I heard the door open, and the sound of voices filled the house.

“Hey Ella,” Kerry said cheerfully, plopping down in a kitchen chair.

“Hi guys.” Nick kissed me quickly on the cheek and AJ smiled. “How’d it go?”

“Okay,” AJ answered, “the same stuff as usual really.”

“So are we still going out tonight?” Kerry asked. We had discussed going to a club the previous evening.

“Yeah,” AJ answered enthusiastically, and I nodded in agreement. “Nick?” AJ enquired, looking at Nick, who was standing by the counter.

“No thanks,” he said, simply.

“Why not?” I asked, putting my arms around his waist.

“Because I don’t want to,” he said angrily, pulling away from my embrace.

“Jesus Nick!” I exclaimed, “what is your problem? You’ve been acting like a two year-old all week, and to be honest you’re really starting to piss me off!” AJ and Kerry sat in silence throughout my short outburst, and awaited Nick’s response. When he didn’t answer I turned away and headed out side. I sat on the wall outside the house. It was still warm and I brushed the hair off the back of my neck to let some cool air to it. The cool air was replaced by a cool hand and I pulled forward slightly, in surprise. Nick placed his hands on my shoulders and pulled me back towards him. He replaced his hand on my neck and I slowly began to relax under his touch.

“I’m sorry,” Nick said quietly. I sighed and leaned back against him.

“What is it Nick?” You’ve been moody all week.” He exhaled slowly and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I’m just not looking forward to leaving. It will be fun to go back to Europe and see all our fans, but I hate having to leave you.”

“I’m not looking forward to it either.” I said, “but we’ll be okay. It’s not like we won’t be able to ring each other.”

“You’re right.” He bent down and kissed the top of my head, “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Yes, and I love you too.” I felt his lips curve into a smile. “Do you still not want to go out tonight?”

“Not really, but if you really want to go I will too.” I stood up and turned to face him,

“No, it’s okay. I guess you’re tired. Why don’t we just stay in. The others can still go out."” He took my hand and pulled me to him.

“You’re the best.” He kissed me softly and we wandered back inside.

I jumped over the back of the couch and landed in the seat next to Nick. He laughed and took the chocolate bar and drink from me.

“You want some?” he asked, holding the now opened chocolate bar to me. I shook my head and picked up the unopened letter from my sister, Amanda. A smile spread over my face as I read the 15 year olds words.

Hey Ella,

How are you? First off I swear you are the luckiest girl alive! I still can’t believe you are dating Nick Carter. I mean NICK CARTER! Oh yeah, tell them all I say hi, and I better get to meet them. J/K Well actually no – I better! I can’t wait ‘til you come home. I miss you loads. I got a boyfriend, his name’s Darren and he’s gorgeous! I can’t wait for you to meet him. I have to go now, but I’ll speak to you soon.

Loads of Love,

Mand

Nick peered over my shoulder at the letter,

“Who’s it from?” he asked.

“My sister,” I smiled. “I forgot how silly she is.” I refolded the letter and placed it on the table.

“You miss your family?” I nodded and climbed onto his lap, facing him. He brushed the hair away from my face and leant forward to kiss me. I pulled away and he looked worried. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I smiled. “I just want to look at you.” He looked at me as if I was mad. I held Nick’s face in my hands and looked deep into his blue eyes. He shifted uncomfortably as I moved my gaze to his lips. He laughed nervously.

“Ella, stop it.”

“What?” I ran my fingers over his lips.

“Looking at me like that.”

“I just wanted to remember your face.” He looked at me oddly.

“Why don’t you just take a picture?”

“Because,” I said, standing up, “my mind has a better memory than a camera.” He laughed and continued to watch me as I flicked through the channels on the TV. “What are you doing?” I asked, focussing my attention on the screen.

“Trying to remember your face” he joked.

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you just take a picture?”

“Hey!” he exclaimed, grabbing me around the waist. I laughed and Nick pinned me down. He lent down and kissed me gently. Nick let go of my arms and placed his hands on my hips, beginning to ease my trousers down. A complete feeling of panic swept over me and I was relieved to hear the familiar bars to As Long As You Love Me burst out of the TV. I pushed Nick off and sat up.

“Look! This is my fave BSB video.” I heard Nick sigh as he repositioned himself on the other side of the couch. I pretended to be completely focused and interested in the TV. As the video finished I glanced at Nick. He was looking at me with a slightly annoyed and confused expression. I smiled and diverted my gaze in an attempt to avoid confrontation.

“Ella, what is it? Why don’t you want me?” Nick asked, nervously.

“It’s not that I don’t want you… ‘cos I do.” I told him, now turning towards him. “I’m just,” I felt embarrassment sweep over me, “I’m scared.” Nick’s mouth twitched before saying,

“Why? I know it wouldn’t be your first time.” He smiled a little, remembering the night of the party. I swallowed uncomfortably.

“Nick I don’t remember that, so technically the next time I have sex will be my first time.” He looked at me, confused for a moment, then leant forward gently placing his lips on mine. He took my hand as he pulled away.

“Ella, I didn’t know that. But, you love me right?” I nodded. “And I love you, so I’ll wait.” He smirked, “I know it’s worth waiting for.” I blushed.

“Thank you.” I kissed his cheek and stood up, “I need food.” Nick followed me into the kitchen.

“Did I hear right? Did Ella just say she wanted food?” he laughed.

“Shut up.” I searched the kitchen and settled for an apple. Nick sat down on the table, replacing his smile with a serious expression.

“Are you okay now Ella?” I smiled,

“I think so. To be honest I don’t know. At least I’ve admitted that I do have an eating problem. Depression makes it worse.” I sat down next to him, “and I’m happy now, so I guess I’m okay.” Nick caressed my cheek and smiled,

“As long as your happy, I’m happy.” I felt tears spring to my eyes at his words.

“Nick… I love you.” We spent the rest of the evening just talking, about everything. My eating problems, past relationships and Nick told me the torment he had suffered from other children at school.