I climbed up the steps of the Backstreet Boys tour bus. We were making a pit stop so everyone could get some air. Nick had stayed on the bus and to put it bluntly I missed him. He was sat playing Nintendo, a look of determination featured on his face. I waited for him to finish the level – I knew not to interrupt.
“Hey,” I said, when he finally looked up. He half-smiled. “I thought we were just having a little time apart. Not days of ignoring each other.” Nick shrugged,
“You’re the one who switched buses,” he replied, almost accusingly.
“Nick, I didn’t do tat to get away from you! Sure it gave you the space you said you wanted, but it also meant I could talk. You guys are great but sometimes I just need to talk to other females.” I tried to explain. Nick didn’t seem convinced, and as he didn’t respond I began to feel angry. “Nick, I know I’ve come to rely on you a lot, and maybe that’s why you’re mad at me… ‘cos I’m not just relying on you anymore. But I need to be a little more independent. I love you and I still need you, but I’ve got to have other friends and interests.”
“Hey Nick! I got you a soda.” Brian smiled awkwardly as he entered the room. “Sorry, am I interrupting?”
“It’s okay,” I replied. “I was going anyway. I’ll see you guys at the hotel I guess.”
“Okay, see ya.” Brian turned to Nick once I’d left and handed him the soda. “So… what did she say?”
“You know, I think she’s right,” Nick replied with little explanation. “I am mad because she doesn’t need me as much anymore. I miss being her stability. I guess I liked being the most important thing in her life.” Brian sighed at his friends, although not intentional, selfishness.
“Nick, you are the most important person in her life. She left England and her family for you.” Brian tried to keep the annoyed and slightly angry tone from his voice. “She’s also given up the life she made back in Florida. She’s here on tour, trying to spend time with you.” He paused for breath, “And you’re complaining because she doesn’t follow you round like a devoted little puppy, and worship the ground you walk on. Christ Nick! Could you be more selfish and ungrateful?” Nick watched in shock as Brian left the room.
“What’s up man?” AJ asked, sitting down and turning on the TV.
“Am I selfish?” Nick asked, receiving a confused look from AJ.
“Um.. no.. I mean, well… everyone’s selfish sometimes,” he replied.
“Yeah, but am I more than most people?” Nick asked, seeming upset. AJ was speechless for a moment,
“What made you think you are?” He noticed Nick’s hurt expression.
“Brian said I was,” he admitted.
“Brian did?” AJ was surprised that Brian would ever say that to anyone, let alone Nick, seeing as they were best friends. “I don’t know Nick… anyway I’m sure Brian didn’t mean it.”
“I’m sure he did,” Nick mumbled to himself before retreating to his bunk.
I dumped my bag on to the floor of my hotel room and sank down on to the bed. The room seemed big and empty with only me in it. I decided to take a bath. I had no idea what was going on with me and Nick. I was still completely in love with him, and I was sure he still loved me. So why was he acting like he didn’t? I quickly dried off and pulled on my skirt and little t-shirt. I didn’t know what to do. I hated to be without Nick, but my attempts at talking to him had failed. What else could I do, except wait for him to act?
I exited the bathroom and jumped slightly as I found Nick sitting on the bed.
“How did you get in here?” He didn’t answer. Instead he approached me and firmly pressed his lips against mine. Without thinking I kissed him back, running my hands through his soft hair. He ran his hands down my body and found his way under my skirt, beginning to ease down my panties. I pushed him away, “Nick, what are you doing?” He stepped close to me again and leant down. “We need to talk,” I said against his lips.
“I’m tired of talking,” he mumbled, moving his lips to my neck. “I don’t want to talk. I just want you.” I badly wanted to succumb to his advances, but I knew if we had sex it would only complicate matters. I pushed him away from me again.
“Nick, you can’t do this to me,” I said, walking away to the window. “It’s not fair.” I tried to hold back the confused tears threatening to escape. “I love you, but you can’t keep messing around with my feelings. You can’t not talk to me, then expect me to sleep with you.” I heard Nick sigh and sit back down on the bed.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I just don’t know how else to begin.” He laughed softly, “I guess not being with you for a week made me a little horny.” I finally turned to face him.
“What do you mean… ‘how to begin’?” I asked, sitting down at the top of the bed.
“Well I knew I had to apologize… but I’ve been such as asshole that I didn’t know where to start.” I smiled,
“Nick, I would’ve forgiven you if you’d just said sorry, and maybe an ‘I love you’ would’ve helped.” I scooted closer to him. “It would take a lot more than what you did to make you lose me! I mean up until cheating on me you could do just about anything and I’d forgive you.” I leaned close and softly kissed him. He smiled and gently pushed my hair away from my face.
“Sorry.” He grinned, “Now can we do it?” I hit him playfully on the arm. “Kidding! I’m kidding.”
Chapter Five
When The Time Comes
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