[LeT me HeLp]
... prologue: hAtiNg mYseLf ...
August 99' Samatha and Angela were going to a *N Sync concert.
Samatha loved Jc and Angela loved Justin. Samatha was 18, a senior in
high school. She was on the varsity softball and basketball team. She
also during the summer played competive softball. August 17 was her
birthday and she was not happy with her body. That she decided she'd
diet. No one knew how out of hand her diet would get when she began to
throw up all her food. No one knew how much Samatha hated her body.
... chapter 1: unPreTty ...
Samatha walked downstairs and to the dinner table. "So sweetie how was softball
today?" her father asked.
"It was fine," she said looking at her food in disgust. She pictured in her mind gaining 10 punds at least from the meal.
Samatha finished her dinner then excused herself from the table. She
went to her room then had this feeling of getting rid of her food.
Samatha walked in her bathroom adjoined to her and her older brother's
room; he was 19. She looked at herself in the mirror.
"I am so fat," she said out loud. She remembered seeing someone do this before. She stuck
her finger in her mouth to gag herself, but then changed her mind.
There was a knock on her bedroom door. "Sammy, Mark is here," her mom
said. Samatha's boyfriend of 2 years.
"Hey Sam."
"Hey Mark," she said trying to give him a kiss on the lips but he turned his head and her
lips ended up on his cheek.
"Sam, we need to talk," he said looking at the ground.
"Ok," she said.
"I've been seeing someone behind your back," Sam was fighting her tears, but her anger she could not control.
"How the hell could you do this to me. I love you Mark, Why?" Samatha cried
out.
"I'm sorry babe. It just happened."
"Just happpened. I'm not good enough or not as pretty as this girl. Who
is Mark? Who are you fucking around with?" Samatha yelled through her tears.
"Julie," he said.
"JULIE AS IN ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS JULIE!!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!" She yelled running up the stairs in her house.
She went into her bathroom and went over to the toilet. Put her finger
down her throat and threw up.
© 1999 Teri
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Samatha sat on her bed trying to remember the last time she had ate.
Samatha wasn't fat, but she wasn't a toothpick. That's what she wanted
to be. Sam as her best friend Angela calls didn't understand why Sam
wanted to be like that. Angela believed her to be beautiful,
Samatha played sports so what she believed to be fat was really muscle.
Angela tried to convince her, but she wouldn't listen.
"Sammy," her mom called from downstairs. "Dinner is ready."