In the spirit of Halloween being months away or ago, I present one of WCW’s premier events, Halloween Havoc, 1999 edition. The box says that it is the stuff nightmares are made of. I think they may be onto something. I never watched much WCW until after the Monday Night War was over, so I may not know every storyline, but really, by 1999, who did? And for that matter, who cared? I forgot all about WCW around 1998. Anyway, this show was right around the time that Jarrett, Russo, and Ferrara jumped to WCW, and “big changes” were on their way. Let’s see how they did. I guess we already know, but lets see anyway...

Also, for those of you just joining us, I will be using the Kamala Rating system. For more info on it, click here.

We start off with the highlight video for Sid/Goldberg and Hogan/Sting. They tried to get Sting over as a heel using the whole “in this business shoot” thing that was the style at the time, but it doesn’t look like it worked. For that matter, why would they repeat Sting/Hogan when it had been done so well years ago, anyway? Funny stuff as you can hear somebody cough right after the video is over.

We’re live in Las Vegas with Tony and the Brain. Can’t stand Schiavone, but the Brain is my all time favorite, so I guess it balances out. The set looks awesome, as it really distinguishes the event from others. Something WCW would later forget, and something that WWE is headed towards. Breaking news: Rey Rey is out. The Filthy Animals have been stripped of the belts and we have a three-way tag team street fight with the Animals, Harlem Heat and the First Family. The Powers that Be are at it again...

Cruiserweight Championship: Disco Inferno vs. Lash LeRoux

Disco’s theme is one of those songs that you just can’t help but get stuck in your head. LeRoux seems to have dropped off the map since he was first on TNA. Typical cruiserweight stuff, but not much lucha-libre to start. Funny stuff as Heenan asks where Lash is from, to which Tony replies :Why don’t you ask Tenay, he’s the only one that cares about that stuff. Nice, there’s a man who loves the product. That’s why Tenay still calls wrestling, albeit TNA, and Schiavone doesn’t. Too much dancing by Disco, and Lash lands an ugly top rope hurracanrana. A couple more missed spots, and Disco continues to waste time. A piledriver gets 2, and Lash comes back with a turnaround powerbomb. He goes for his finisher, which I believe was called the whiplash, but Disco reverses, and hits the stunner, I mean last dance after a poorly choreographed clothesline and inverted atomic drop. Mysterio/Malenko this was not. Didn’t do much for me. 1.5 Kamalas. Lash hits his powerbomb on the belt after the match when Disco went for a handshake. Ah, sportsmanship!

Meanwhile, there are problems in the Revolution. Benoit and Malenko are back from Japan and out of the Revolution. Aren’t you supposed to give 2 weeks notice?

Tag Team Championship Street Fight: Harlem Heat vs. Filthy Animals vs. First Family

We see highlights of the Filthy Animals picking up the gold on Nitro from this past Monday. Well that was a long title reign. Kidman comes out with a video camera to record the action, because he’s so cool. Either that or his VCR was busted and he wanted to record the PPV. Typical garbage wrestling as the teams go after each other in the crowd and with weapons. Jimmy Hart comes in with a trash can lid and Booker chases him off. Harlem Heat head to the back with Knobbs and they beat each other with a foam coffin. They continue to fight backstage with deadly weapons like a pile of boxes, as we see Konnan get put through a table. Harlem Heat nails Knobs with a Mummy and gets the win. That’s right a mummy. Moving along, Kidman pinned Hugh Morris even though the match was over. There’s controversy afoot, but the referees surprisingly clear things up quickly and Harlem Heat are 10 time champs. Not really sure what the point of the second pin was, but who cares. 1.75 Kamalas since it was short and they used a mummy as a weapon. That has to be a first. But wait, its not over. K-Dawg appears to have legitimate shoulder injury, while the Filthy Animals look concerned. Actually Rey Rey looks funny without his mask and Torrie looks pretty damn hot.

Ric Flair and his moron son are here, and Ric is packing a crowbar. This could be fun.

Oh, we have an impromptu appearance by DDP, which was completely unexpected as Schiavone tells us. It must be true! It must be cold in the arena and Kimberly tells us about Flair and her ass. Sex = ratings! Page goes on about crap, until the crowd interrupts him and he responds by saying, I can’t possibly suck, I’m not from Las Vegas. The point is that their match tonight is now a strap match. Lots of sexual innuendos to get the message out, reminds me of an episode of MXC.

Goldberg is here and he wants Sid.

The Filthy Animals are banned from Eddie Guerrero’s match tonight, and we get to see some great Kidman acting. Eddie has also gotten himself a new rolex, strikingly similar to Ric Flair’s. It’s a family tradition!

Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn

The match goes back and forth early on, with Eddie getting dropped wrist first onto the steel stairs. Saturn goes for a few arm submissions, but Eddie battles back. Saturn now goes to work on the knee, and we can hear some boring chants. Eddie works on the arm, and even more boring chants. Saturn gets a lionsault, but only gets 2. Eddie misses the frogsplash and both men are struggling to get to their feet. Saturn goes for a springboard again, but Eddie gets an awesome dropkick in. Eddie reverses a splash mountain into another superplex. Ric Flair and the crowbar are here and stomps Eddie for the DQ. Kidman gets a crowbar to the back for his troubles and Torrie is pleading for him to stop. Flair does the whole sexual walking routine, and Torrie is clearly seduced and gets kissed. She likes it. I can see why, as the alternative was a crowbar, but still. Flair leaves, but then remembers his rolex. Wooo! The match was getting pretty good before the DQ, so I’d give it about 2 Kamalas.

Wait, there’s a fight going on in the back. Goldberg has bloodied up Sid. Seems kinda odd, but I guess they really hate each other.

Here comes Buff Bagwell for another impromptu interview. Another guy that has dropped off the map since early TNA. He mentions the two new writers that have come to save WCW. Oddly enough, he didn’t like getting hit with a guitar last Monday on Nitro and calls Jarrett out. I guess he expects Jarrett to be easy pickings as he did just lose to Chyna at No Mercy. They brawl and Tony goes on about how unexpected and exciting this is. Lex Luger makes an appearance, but accidentally hits Buff with the guitar. Buff doesn’t need to sell the guitar shot, as he got hit with the wrong part, not even making a dent.

Sid is getting stitched up backstage, but goes crazy, yelling, let it bleed. That’s just plain nutty. Who wants to be bloody?

Eddie’s on the cell phone and selling his injuries like a madman. He needs Rey Rey and the Animals back.

Brad Armstrong vs. Berlyn

Alex Wright’s radical new gimmick seemed to be shelved after Columbine, so instead he was given the standard evil foreign heel, and the Wall. I liked that name, The Wall, but to team him with Berlyn was just lame. The match begins, and Toby shills the Capital One Mastercard. Pretty standard stuff, and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Mostly Berlyn pounding on Armstrong, until he blocks the neckbreaker and wins out of nowhere. The Wall ambushes Armstrong and that’s it. Not sure what the point of that was. 1 Kamala

Mike Tenay is with Ric Flair. He’s ready for anybody, DDP, Kimberly, Animals, whoever. Hell, I’d be on top of the world if I kissed Torrie Wilson too.

World Television Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Benoit comes out to his horrible WCW theme that is about two steps above a demo on a kid’s keyboard. Stalling by Steiner to start, and he’s in control. Back and forth, and Steiner avoids the crossface and goes outside the ring. They continue to brawl and we have more Steiner stalling. Steiner pushes the ref aside and we have a low blow on Benoit. Typical Benoit stuff as he makes Steiner look good for the majority of the match. We get more boring chants from the crowd and Benoit fights back. The ref is down and Steiner grabs a chair. Benoit counters and gets the top rope headbutt on only the chair. Here comes Malenko. He takes the chair and is waiting for Steiner to get up. I see where this is going. Textbook heelturn by Malenko as he hits Benoit with the chair and Steiner gets the win. Saturn comes out and hugs Malenko, so he’s back with the Revolution. Match wasn’t special, but I love that type of heelturn. 1.75 Kamala

Mike Tenay is with Bret Hart. His is injured thanks to Lex Luger, and as a result lost a championship match last week on Nitro. That’s the second time that Luger has cost the Hitman the championship, but not many people care about the time in 1993.

The Total Package vs. Bret Hart

I must say that I really like Luger’s entrance and theme music. Funny stuff as he has a tough time getting his pants off for his posedown. We see highlights of the beatdown on Hart’s ankle from this past Monday, and Hart hobbles to the ring. Hitman is intense as he beats Luger up outside the ring. Liz tries to slap Hart, but he continues to dominate Luger. Russian legsweep gets 2, and we see the usual inverted atomic drop, side backbreaker, and elbow off the second rope. It comes as no surprise that he goes for the sharpshooter, and even Luger sees it coming and punches his way out. Hart continues to sell his injury, and Luger goes to work on it. Suddenly Luger puts the single leg crab and Hart taps out? He never tapped out in WWE, and they sure would have made a bigger deal about it. Pretty good stuff. 2.5 Kamalas

Tenay is with Goldberg. He asks if he was justified in attacking Sid before their match. Goldberg gets paid to kick ass. Guess he’s just doing his job then.

Here comes Madusa in a bikini with some Nitro cologne. There seems to be something different about her from her WWE days that I just can’t figure out. Anyway, the Brain totally shoots the stuff down, saying how bad it stinks. Smells like a reststop on the highway. I’m not really sure why they would release a cologne after the WWE product failed, but I guess whatever WWE can fail with, WCW can do worse. Anyway, the Powers that Be put her up to this; she “shoots” on them and dumps it on the Brain. Even Tony realizes it stinks, but blames it on the Brain. That’s clever marketing as I now really want a bottle of it. Maybe they’ll have it on eBay. One can only hope. Please note the sarcasm.

WCW Championship: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

We get to see most of the crowd and hear most of Hulk’s crappy face theme. It seems that more mind games are afoot, which makes it about the third or fourth time that Tony has mentioned it tonight. Finally Sting comes out to a lukewarm reaction and holds the belt upside-down. We get to hear even more than anyone should of Hulk’s theme. I hear that he’s American Made. Anyway, he finally comes out, but wait, he’s not dressed to fight. They start to talk and Hogan lays down. The crowd is pissed and Sting gets the win. We go straight to the Sid/Goldberg video package, which makes no sense. 0 Kamala. Why would you build a match for weeks and then crap out? Maybe on a Nitro main event, but a PPV? I’d be pissed if I was there live, or watching it at home. I guess they’re trying to go for the whole shoot, real life, reality crap, but it comes off so tacked on when its this scripted. Plus they’ve been pushing it on various aspects of the product, which weakens the “shock value” anyway. Lets move on.

U.S. Championship: Sid vs. Goldberg

The Brain does the quick sell that we’ll get our answers about Hogan tomorrow on Nitro. Goldberg has his usual entrance with the police officers, who sit back and allow the Outsiders to ambush him on his way to the ring. Great job guys! Sid comes out and pounds on Goldberg to get this thing started. Goldberg fights back and goes after the wound from earlier tonight. Sid is a bloody mess and they finally get in the ring. Back and forth and Goldberg is in control after an electric chair drop. There is blood everywhere and its all Goldberg. Sid tries to fight back, but its no use. He falls to his knees and the ref calls for the bell. What? Considering the buildup, that was pretty short. Rick Steiner comes out and Sid is back to his feet. The crowd is glad that Goldberg one, but seem pretty pissed that its over all ready. Frankly I would have given them a few minutes before they focused on Sid’s injury, but that’s just me. I actually found this to be pretty entertaining, just for the brutality factor, but the ending did seem strange. 2.5 Kamalas

Tony and the Brain argue as to whether Sid’s streak was over and we see clips of Kimberly and Ric Flair from this past Monday.

But wait, here comes Sting. He wants a fight, and he doesn’t care who its against. This could end poorly. He issues an open challenge for later this evening.

Strap Match: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ric Flair

DDP seems to be pretty good in this cocky heel role. We also find out that we won’t be using the lameass 4 corners rule, but that it will be pinfall or submission. I always found that rule to be pretty crappy, considering that a champion could lose a belt without ever being pinned, ala Eddie Guerrero/JBL. Bit of stalling to start, and they eventually fight up the entrance and into the crowd. This is some pretty crazy stuff. They get back to the ring and Flair gets a few kisses on Kimberly. He’s on fire tonight! They are still fighting on the outside and Flair is busted open. DDP continues to strap Flair and they are now both on the announcer’s table, before finally getting back into the ring. I would’ve expected somebody to go through a table, but what can you do. DDP continues to showboat and gets crotched. Flair is in control and starts working on the leg. And here comes the Figure-4! The strap is also around DDP’s throat, but he still manages to get to the ropes. Flair whales on DDP, but then gets crotched himself, and falls to the Diamond Cutter for 3. 2.75 Kamala, as it was entertaining, but the ending seemed to be lacking something. DDP then gives the Diamond Cutter to Referee Charles Robinson, and goes back to choking Flair with the strap. Here comes David Flair with the crowbar and he gets crotched by Kimberly. Kimberly tosses the crowbar to DDP who goes right after Space Mountain. DDP then attacks David and we get another two Diamond Cutters. The EMTs take Flair away and put a neck brace on him. Not sure why he’d need one after getting a crowbar to the junk, but I’m no EMT. They wheel him to an ambulance in the back, but wait, here come the Animals! They pound on Ric and David and stuff them both in the ambulance before driving off.

Here comes Sting for his impromptu championship match. Its Showtime! Who is it going to be? Uh oh!

WCW Championship: Sting vs. Goldberg

Here’s the Thing...

This is not the first time that I don’t know what to think of a WCW PPV. I just don’t get how they can pass something so disorganized off as a “historical night”. Goldberg would be stripped of the title soon after and we’d get a tournament, making tonight’s main event pointless. It really reeks of the fact that nobody has a clue what is going on, and there’s no direction. It comes as no surprise that they were gone a year and a half later. It seems that it all went to hell after Goldberg lost the belt the first time.

I like the idea of having everybody hate each other, but it really has to be done well in order to work, otherwise you just get apathy. Think about this card alone for example. Sting (heel) is friends with Lex Luger (heel), who is friends with Buff Bagwell (face), and Luger and Bagwell don’t like Jeff Jarrett (heel). Ric Flair (face) is feuding with DDP (heel) and the Filty Animals (face). People didn’t seem to know who to cheer for, and many reactions were mixed or not there at all. Too many face/heel turns and title changes can hurt the validity of the product, and that’s all that WCW did in this period.

Overall, I still have the same reaction that I did the first time that I watched it, and that is that Halloween Havoc 1999 is just weird. Keep in mind that I bleed WWE, but there are just too many strange things going on on this show. Hogan/Sting does not happen, Goldberg/Sid is way too short, and Goldberg leaves Las Vegas as champ even though it was apparently a non-title match. That’s not to say that there weren’t some entertaining things about the show, but I just expected more.

Overall rating: 2 Kamala