This one’s a heartbreaker.

Right up there with the group choosing the name Drewcasfilm over ParaMatt.

Coming off the heels of two successful movies, Drewcasfilm was on top of the movie making world at Horton High School. The Beowulf Saga and The Chrysalids were the stuff that dreams were made of. Mind you at the time, the other student produced movies sucked, but the fact remained that students and teachers alike loved our movies. An example of this would have been the Chrysalids movie, which was not only shown in the English class for which it was intended, but Chemistry, History, and Math as well. We were the measuring stick for which all other movies were evaluated on, and it was only a matter of time before we produced another blockbuster.

Sadly, that movie would never see the light of day.

It all seemed so promising, as we needed a creative project for History 11 on anything we so desired. A movie seemed like the obvious choice, but then we hit our first snag, it had to be historically accurate. No problem, as we quickly re-wrote the movie, showcasing actual historical information, with a small dosage of misleading, yet entertaining mayhem as well. Problem #2: For some reason, we weren’t allowed to use the school’s video cameras during regular hours because…well, we were never given a reason for that. I guess they needed to be docile during the day to retain their...ummm...ok, I’ve got nothing. Not a huge problem, as we could just come in before school started, but it still was pretty annoying. I mean, this was a project for school, its not like we were just jerking around or anything. Anyway, we soon came in early to film the movie, but found that the keeper of the camera had once again screwed us, by deciding to not let us use the camera at all. Let’s call him Mr. Beck. Mr. Beck decided to be a prick that day and single handily killed our movie, just like that. So for some reason he had a problem with us coming in on our free time to film a movie for school purposes, but had no problem letting hairy midgets use the camera during school hours to make a farewell video for their moron friends. Right! That’s some great logic there. If only I had the mentality that I do know back then.

Anyway, the movie is long gone, but the script remains intact. I know give you without further ado, the Lost Drewcasfilm Script, Rasputin: The Movie!

Cue Intellectual Sounding Music

Boris - Welcome to Russiapiece Theater. I am your host Boris Vladmere Ivan Kruschev. Tonight we will be watching the death of Gregory Rasputin. Now watch the movie or I will crush you!

Cut to Street

Yusso - Hello Reverend Rasputin, my name is Yussopov. Would you like to come to dinner tonight?

Raspy - Well, I don’t know...

Yusso - My wife will be there.

Raspy - Well, I guess so. Heh, heh, heh.

Cut to Basement

Yusso - Here, have these cookies. Supper will be ready soon.

Raspy - Give me that wine! And where is your wife?

Yusso - Why don’t you eat up, (smirks) she’ll be down soon.

Raspy - Whatever! (drinks wine - poison)

Yusso - Excuse me for a moment please.

Cut to Yussopov approaching Purishkevich.

Yusso - I don’t get it, he should be dead.

Purish - Perhaps he really is a saint, or maybe you should blow his brains out! Bwahahaha!

Cut back to Rasputin. Yusso Enters.

Raspy - Ah, what is for dinner?

Yusso - HOT LEAD!!!!!!

(Blam! Blam! Blam! - Rasputin collapses - Purish enters)

Purish (checking body) - He’s dead.

Close-up of Rasputin - His eyes open! - He chokes one, and tosses the other, then runs off.

Purish - After him!

They run after him and shoot him twice. Rasputin falls and they pick him up and dump him into the frigid river.

Cut to G.I. Joe falling into water

Raspy - Ahhhh!

Cut back to Boris

Boris - A bloody end for Gregory Rasputin. However, evidence found recently shows that maybe Rasputin did not die this way. We here at Russiapiece Theater have made a reenactment of the new possible death. Enjoy!

Cut to Rasputin dancing in the street

Raspy - I am Rasputin! I am Rasputin! (Show Grendel in background, holding a "Watch Beowulf" sign)

Yusso - Excuse me, are you Gregory Rasputin?

Raspy - Well yeah, didn’t you hear the song?

(Yusso shoots Raspy) (Everyone starts to beat up a fallen Rasputin, including Grendel) (Play Song - Da da da da etc.)

After song stops, everyone does the dance.

All: We killed Rasputin! We killed Rasputin!

Raspy - No you didn’t! And look over there!

Everyone turns around and raspy runs off…into traffic. Do the whole "run over" scene.

Raspy (after being run over) - Ohh, my stomach!

All - Get him!

Play Mountain King Song as they chase Raspy and shoot at him. Finally after being hit by a gun, Raspy falls and cut to the same G.I. Joe falling again into the water.

Cut back to Boris

Boris - And that was the many deaths of Gregory Rasputin. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the secrets of Vladimir Lenin’s Baldness. Goodnight everybody!

Director - And cut, that’s a wrap everybody.

(Drew takes off wig and speaks in regular voice)

Drew - Whew! No more fake Russian accents for me! Hey stupid, turn off the camera! Its over! Oh you are so fired!

Cut to credits, with Boney M’s Rasputin song

Sadly, we would never make another script, although there were some ideas floating around to make a Lord of the Flies/Survivor spoof in Grade 12, but most of the ideas we came up with came before we actually read the book, so it just didn’t fly. Drewcasfilm would eventually become all about movie nights and lazer tag, which rocked about as much as our movies. If you’d like to ask Mr. Beck why he wouldn’t let us use the camera for a school project, ask him here.

In closing, here is a picture of Phil parking on O’Brien’s heel at one of our movie nights. Good Times!