Warning! This review of Sleepaway Camp 2 contains intense spoilers. Mind you, there’s nothing as shocking as in the first Sleepaway Camp, so it really doesn’t bother me if you read it without watching the movie. If fact I encourage it. No really, I do. C’mon, just read it. Do it! Do it!

We start out at a campfire with a bunch of teenagers telling some pretty lame campfire stories. One of the girls, Phoebe, decides to spice things up and tell a true story. Perhaps you’ve heard her story before. Its about this place called Camp Arawak where a bunch of kids were murdered. She gets interrupted by a bitchy female councillor, but finishes up her story before being taken back to girls bunk. The boys debate whether the killer was dead or not, with one kid offering the theory that she was acting on “The Facts of Life”. Another camper, Sean, squashes that theory, and says not only is Angela out there, but they’ve also given her a sex change with their parents tax dollars. Money well spent! Anyway, they ask how he knows so much about Angela, and we find out his dad helped arrest her back in the day. TC speculates that Sean is actually dating her. Ha! TC Rocks! So I guess were all caught up. Moving on...

Phoebe has a shouting match with her councillor, who she refers to as Angela. Nah, that must be just a coincidence. Angela calls her a slut, and Phoebe suggests that she just send her home if she’s so pissed. They split up and Phoebe gets lost and yells for Angela’s help. Angela sneaks up behind her and bashes her with a club. Ouch. Guess that kills my coincidence theory. Angela then cuts out Phoebe’s tongue for good measure. Doesn’t look like we’re going to have as much of a mystery this time...

It’s morning and we get introduced to all of Angela’s campers, Ally and Mare (bitches), Molly (nice girl), and the rest (fodder). Angela explains that she sent Phoebe home, and we get to see some boobs. Angela’s not really into that, but the skanks ask who would see them anyway. The Tit Patrol, that’s who! The Tit Patrol are these two kids with a Polaroid, and, well you can probably figure out what they do. These guys rule!

We are also introduced to the camp’s owner, Uncle John, who has just awarded Angela the coveted “Councillor of the Week” award. Plus in addition to that, Angela sings the “Happy Camper Song” which totally rocks. Here it is in its entirety:

Oh, I’m a Happy Camper,

What a classic! Anyway, TC wants to talk to Angela about what happened between her and Phoebe, but she totally blows him off. He’s not really sure why, so he checks his armpits to see if that’s the problem.

Sean and Molly start to get to know each other a little bit down by the pool. Ally doesn’t seem to like this, and tries the old wet t-shirt trick to grab his attention. It doesn’t really seem to work, but on the bright side, everybody at the pool got a good look as well. I guess she has that same mentality that Judy did in the first Sleepaway Camp, and we all know how that turned out.

Angela uses her day off to track down and spy on the resident stoners, the Shit Sisters. It seems that the sisters have taken the liberty to re-write the Happy Camper Song.

Oh I’m a Happy Camper,

Oooh, Angela’s not going to like that. She loves that song!

The next day Angela is on the prowl again, and finds the one Shit sister passed out and the other one getting it on. She chases the boy off, but neither sister responds to her presence. One Shit wakes up on a barbecue next to a smouldering skeleton. She screams! It seems that Angela has roasted her, and she plans to do the same to the other. Talk about an extreme “don’t do drugs” message, but I guess they won’t do it again. Still, you’d think somebody would’ve heard something.

Later, this bratty little bitch starts complaining and wants to get sent home. Unfortunately, Angela doesn’t disembowel her, which is really annoying.

The camera starts to slowly pan towards the girls bunk. This could be trouble. Thankfully, its not Angela, “just us monsters”! It’s the boys! And they’re here for the girls’ panties! Unfortunately before the panty raid gets out of control, Angela kicks them out.

Its funny because she claims she doesn’t like being “the wicked witch of the west”, which was what Paul called Meg in the first movie. Anyway, the girls swear revenge, and they decide to go after the boys and their jockstraps. That’s just gross. I’m not even sure why they’d bring them to camp.

The raid is on, and TC couldn’t care less. He rocks! The girls get the boys with shaving cream, and Mare uses her excellent negotiating tactics to get the bras back. It seems that if they don’t give them back, she’s going to flash them…a lot. Ohhh, better give them back! Angela catches Mare in the flash, and the raid is over.

We cut to Mare and Angela sitting in a car. Angela really wants Mare to come to the campout tomorrow night. It seems that Mare would rather die. And she does. Plus, the viewers get an incredible line from Angela:

Mare – What are you going to get, a gun?

At breakfast next morning, TC goes over a list of things missing, which include the battery to his car, and lots of bras, panties, and jockstraps.

Judd – Yeah, one of those are mine.

TC – Touche (Man he rules)

Molly sneaks up on Angela at her little love shack, and the two have a little chat. Molly is interested in Sean, but she thinks he may like Ally because she’s a cheerleader and puts out. Angela thinks that Ally might have a disease too. She also claims that she’s still a virgin. Yeah, and this is the same girl we found sitting on the beach, naked, with a boy’s decapitated head in her lap. She also lets us in on an Aunt Marthaism, which is “keep your morals strong, and you’ll never go wrong”. Morals, my ass. Wasn’t she the nut that dressed a boy up as a girl? Regardless, Molly seems to feel better about the situation.

The boys are planning to cause Angela to “dooky in her pants” this evening. The problem is, they are making their costumes about two tables away from her. Hope she doesn’t notice.

Anyway, the Tit Patrol are going over their latest batch of pics, but get caught in the act by Angela. We see some great shots of Mare and Ally, and one of Angela in her bra. BUSTED!

TC doesn’t seem to be as upset as Angela on the whole situation. Apparently, she doesn’t think pornography is funny. Maybe it’d be funnier for her if the pornstars worn silly hats or something.

The boys are getting their costumes ready to scare Angela. It’s the tag team combination of Freddy and Jason. But the moron Freddy has lost his glove. Jason gives him until he gets back from his piss to find it, or he’s leaving without him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Jason say he’s had to take a piss before! Anyway, Freddy finds his glove, but there’s a hand attached to it! And it slits his throat! Jason come back and finds Leatherface holding a chainsaw. The moron starts to fence with LeatherFace, but gets sliced up himself. Another time where you’d think somebody hear something. I guess they're just deaf, or they don't care.

LeatherFace approaches the girls, and is unmasked as The Honky Tonk Man! Whoops, wrong review. Actually it’s Angela. It seems that Ally has cramps this evening and went back to the main camp. Angela has other ideas though.

We find Ally and Rob enjoying a romantic evening together in one of the camp’s bathrooms. Classy! Anyway, Angela finds the door is locked and yells for Ally. Ally gets her pants back on in record time and opens the door. She’s not too impressed with Angela’s costume, and thinks the blood looks like ketchup. If she only knew.

Its morning and TC can’t find Judd or Anthony (Jason and Freddy) anywhere. Ally and Molly have a “girls only” chat, which included Ally asking if Sean had “screwed her” yet. Man she’s classy. Ally also says that Sean is a lousy lay, so they’d go well together. Such a charmer. Anyway, she expects Molly will run and tell Angela. Which she does.

We find Ally busy in the woods with Rob again. After she’s done, she makes sure he doesn’t have AIDS or anything. Kinda late even if he did, moron. She comes back to camp and finds a note from Sean. She gets excited and heads up to the love shack. Gross! You think she would have hopped in the shower first or something.

But wait! Sean didn’t send the note, it was Angela! She stabs Ally in the back and chucks her into an outhouse! But before doing so, she asks Ally what is down there. In addition to shit and piss, it seems there are leeches down there too. Pretty gross stuff as we can hear splashing and gurgling as Angela stuffs her in with a stick. Shitty!

Later, Rob is getting worried about Ally, Judd, and Anthony. He’s been thinking about Camp Arawak a lot lately. We also find out that Sean was supposed to go to Camp Arawak the year that everybody died. We hear more about Angela as a boy, and that she only kills bad people. That’s how she got the nickname, the Angel of Death!

So Demi has the weirdest thing happen. She explains to Angela that she was phoning all the girls that got sent home, but their parents claimed they were still at camp. Uh-oh! Should have kept that to yourself. Or even tell TC. He probably would have gotten a chuckle out of it. Anyway, Angela can’t let her escape, but there’s nothing around that she can kill her with. Funny stuff as we see Angela trying out potential weapons including a coat hanger, pencil and stereo, before stopping to brush her hair. Demi just keeps talking, so Angela strangles her with her guitar string. Thank you. Geez, she just wouldn’t shut up. The Tit Patrol ambush Angela as she is looking around to dump the body, and get her with the old bucket of water gag. Its just not her night. Then the annoying chick who threatens to tell on everybody comes in and gets stabbed as well. Not sure why Angela didn’t use the knife before. Also, I must say that I’m glad to see an annoying tattletale finally get theirs.

Molly comes back to the bunk later and finds that she’s the only one left. That’d be just weird. Plus you’d think somebody would have noticed all those people being sent home, right? Angela needs a new story, like Ally, who is Ally? Or, I haven’t seen Demi around. I’d believe that. So would Uncle John. He’s always seemed a bit tipsy.

Angela goes to bed and we get a recap of the movie, and a super-slow rendition of the Happy Camper song. You know, if she didn’t kill all those people, she probably wouldn’t be having nightmares.

Uncle John fires Angela the next morning for sending everyone home. See, I told you that it would come back to bite her in the ass. So she goes to Molly and cries and whines a bit. Again, YOU KILLED EVERYBODY! You brought this upon yourself. Molly later goes to see Sean. She thinks that they should go up to the love shack and cheer Angela up.

At the love shack, Angela continues to mope around. She thinks that TC hates her. He reminds her of this other guy that gave her a hard time once, so she drowned him. Oh, I see. What remains a mystery to me is why Molly didn’t run away, screaming like a little girl at this point. I know I would have. While the girls are talking, Sean opens up the door to the love shack, and the shit hits the fan. Each and every dead camper’s body has been stashed in this place. That’s pretty impressive when you think about it. I mean. Angela would’ve had to lug their dead bodies from the camp all the way to the love shack. That’s like a mile or so. Oh yeah, she also beats him with a stick.

Rob spills the beans to TC that Molly and Sean have gone up to the love shack to see Angela. TC is going to kick her ass! Awesome!

Back at the shack, Angela has tied up Sean and Molly. TC breaks up the party and gets a cup full of battery acid to the face. NOOOOO! Plus it turns out that she got the acid from his car battery. Insult to injury, or death in this case. Too bad too, as I would’ve loved to see him kick some ass. Angela tries to feed the kids, but surprisingly, they’re not too hungry. Its funny, cause my buddy Nick thinks that Sean looks like an angry owl when he has the gag over his mouth. Anyway, Sean figures out who Angela really is. The funny thing is that her new name is Angela Johnson. That can’t be a coincidence. She claims that she’s cured of any craziness, which is evident from her recent behaviour. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she lobs Sean’s head off with a big machete. Seeya!

We get a better look at the corpses in the shack, and Angela continues to try to get Molly to eat. She tries everything to make Molly feel better, from quoting Aunt Martha, to putting Sean’s head in a television for entertainment purposes. That’s just cruel, and a bit unusual. Angela has to head back to camp for a few minutes to get everybody else, so Molly attempts an escape.

We find Angela bringing another body back, and Molly finally gets herself free. She bashes Angela with a stick and steals her knife. The chase is on, but don’t worry Molly, Angela just wants to be you’re friend. Sorry Angela, but you stopped making sense a while ago. Molly stabs her, but ends up falling off a small cliff. So close. Angela seems upset about the situation, again making her seem pretty damn screwed up.

We come back to camp later that evening and we find another Councillor, Diane, I think, looking for Molly. She catches the Tit Patrol in the act, but they’re already dead. So are Uncle John and Rob. And then Angela stabs her as well. I think that’s just about everyone. Guess she’s making up for sparing a few people at Arawak.

We’re not done yet, as Molly is still alive! Angela has been picked up by some crazy woman in a cowboy hat similar to Ricky’s. Angela thanks her for picking her up, and the woman replies, “sure, no skin off my tits”. I see. Classy! Anyway, she swears a lot and Angela kills her too.

So Molly has made it to the road, and there’s a truck in the distance.

She’s saved! That’s good.

But Angela is the driver. That’s bad.

But she’s wearing the cowboy hat. That’s good!

But the movie ends, and we can safely assume Molly dies. That’s bad.

Out of the three Sleepaway Camps, this is probably my least favorite. Its good, but just isn’t as original as the first one or as funny as the third one. Still, there’s more plot and character development in this one than in any Friday the 13th movie. Ally makes a great bitch, and Angela is as great as always. Plus TC and the Tit Patrol totally ruled all. Some of the only characters that I’ve ever been sorry to see die.

Overall, I’d give this movie an 8/10 on my rating scale that doesn’t exist. Its just good clean fun.