As any good reader of this website would know, SussexSpite is the WrestleMania of the Flea Market Circuit. Last year, the Superiors defeated the Inferiors, and to the winners went the spoils. But not just any spoils mind you, these were Ghostbusters Proton Packs and Fire Stations, Voltron Castle Of Lions, Transformers, My Little Ponies, and much much more! But that was last year...

This year, the pressure was on. Not only were responsible for defeating the Inferiors, but clearly there was a desire to do even better than last year. Every person in the Neon realized that as we drove to Sussex early morning August 18. Heck, we even managed to reach Sussex in less than 4 hours! Not bad considering that it took us almost 8 hours to reach Moncton for MonctonMania 2.

Anyway, as stated, we reached our destination about 45 minutes before expected, so we had plenty of time to waste. As we were under the impression that they wouldn’t be letting anyone in for several hours, we took a look around Sussex. The highlight for me was stopping at a local Mom and Pop Video Store and picking up ten bottles of Wild Cherry Pepsi. At that point I realized the long drive was worth it. Little did I realize that it would be just the tip of the iceberg. After taking in all of the sites of Sussex, we decided to head over and check into out motel, as we still had a little while before we were going to sneak in. We were under the impression that only vendors were going to be allowed entry on Thursday. So were in turn came up with a plan of entry, where we would pose as vendors, boxes and all, to gain the upper hand over the Inferiors. Believe me, the last thing we wanted was for us to find them walking around the flea market before us. Anyway, before we could even pull the wool over everyone’s collective eyes, we decided to ask what time they would be letting people in. To our surprise, it seemed that they were already letting people in. A quick reversal, and the car was parked. We were ready, but were we already too late?

For four hours, we looked up and down the hundreds of tables, with a great deal of success. O’Brien was fortunate to find a number of Gargoyles figures as well as the Ninja Turtles Sewer Playset. Plus another Ghostbusters Proton Pack, bringing our combined total of proton packs to five. Now we have enough for the entire team, and Janine if necessary. I found some great items like the plane from Darkwing Duck, a WWF video featuring Kamala, and some He-Man items. Joey was lucky enough to pick up the classic Smash Bros game for $5. Things were going well. Not an Inferior to be found. However, problems arose at one vendor’s table. We were familiar with the vendors from last year’s SussexSpite as well as a few times in Lower Sackville. They were pretty greasy, but to their credit, they did have some interesting goods. They usually priced high, but easily backpedaled. And there it was, a talking Pee-Wee Herman in box! This was the find so far, and I was ready to buy it. The price? $100! I laughed! The guy then went down to $75 immediately. There was no way I’d pay that. Ok, he said, $50 is as low as I can go. I’ll pass. It killed me to leave it, but there was just no way I could justify that. And that’s the second time that somebody’s wanted an exuberant amount of money for Pee-Wee goods. Anyway, to better immortalize them, I dubbed them “The Dirtbags”, which we all agreed seemed like a perfect fit.

We finished up our rounds for day one, and made our way towards the exit, both O’Brien and I holding several bags. We decided to head back to one of tables that we remembered from last year, specifically so O’Brien could check up on Transformers. And there she is! Lady Inferior is standing at that very table with Lord Inferior! She turns, takes a look at us in our matching orange Kool-Aid shirts, looks down at our stuffed bags, lets out a sad looking smile, and turns back to the table. And just like that, another victory for us. It seems that we beat them here by almost five hours. Enjoy our scraps, chumps!

To celebrate our fantastic day and ultimate victory, there was only one place that would be appropriate for dinner, Pizza Delight. And to top it all of, it had one of those new do it yourself garlic bread ovens. Mind you, as we slapped on various butters onto our breads, the flame started rising higher and higher. Sadly for me, I had just started to toast my bread, so Joey, naturally after starting the fire, left me to look like I started it. As for out meal that evening, the good folks in Sussex made Joey and me Ultimate Heart Attack Panzerottis, with every type of meat on the menu. I think Ma may have been a bit embarrassed after Joey said that Donair sauce tasted like semen, which got everyone in the restaurant looking at us and/or laughing.

On the way to the motel, Joey pointed out a cloud that looked just like Earthworm Jim’s enemy, Psycrow. Sure, this doesn’t have much to do with the story, but man, it was awesome!

That evening’s activities saw us explore the nearby campground, and the canteen shut all of its lights off just as we were walking towards it. Oddly enough, Ricky didn’t emerge with a chocolate bar. Ma cleverly avoided watching Sleepaway Camp with us by falling asleep before we could get it started. As I would hate to have Ma wake up near the end of Sleepaway Camp, we decided to watch Beavis and Butthead Do America instead.

And then it happened, lights out, but there would be no sleeping, for us at least. Ma had been sleeping for about an hour, but when the lights out, the snoring began. And this wasn’t just regular snoring, no, it was too powerful. And just when you got used to the sound, it would adapt into something new, so you still couldn’t get to sleep. As the hours went by, madness started to set in, and I started contemplating ways of waking Ma up. Sadly, I knew that even if I did wake her up, there’s no way I’d fall asleep before her. So the only option was to stuff my pillow on my head. Somehow, I got to sleep, here and there, but nothing great.

The next morning, we all had a great time making fun of Ma, as it seems that she was the only one who got any sleep. As we prepared for Day 2 of SussexSpite 2, there they were! It seems that the Inferiors were staying a few rooms down from us! I can only hope that Ma’s snoring kept them up too. Anyway, they left the Motel a few minutes before us, yet we never saw them back at the market. I can only assume that they saw us and decided it was best just to leave, lest being conquered again.

We spent another four hours at the market, surprisingly finding more the second day than the first. I tried my luck with the Dirtbags again, but today they wouldn’t go lower than $75. Have fun keeping him in inventory, losers. It should be noted that I have since picked the same item up on ebay for half their price. Heck, I would have even picked it up for the same price, cause frankly I didn’t want my money going to them.

So we left Sussex, with another successful SussexSpite behind us. I must say that in addition to being pleased with our hauls, I was really impressed with the young ladies of Sussex. We must have seen a ton of women our age walking around, dressed appropriately. Unlike the skankily dressed women of our area, the women here were dressed nicely, and as a result, looked that much hotter. When presented with such a difference from what we are used to, it really stands out that women don’t need to show off skin to get our attention. It was a nice change of pace.

We stopped in Truro on the way home to gas up the Neon. Little did I know of the danger we would all be in. As I gassed up, Joey checked the oil and found that we needed some pretty bad. I made fun of him for not wanting to do it without a funnel, so I did it myself. However, my hands were not as firm as I would have expected. Yeah, so I spilled a little oil. I used to do that all the time when I was a gas monkey, no big deal. However, the engine started to smoke intensely, and suddenly, a fire erupted below the engine! Nearly crapping myself, I dashed for a nearby fire extinguisher and ran back towards the car. By that time, the fire had already burned itself out, but we were all pretty edgy as a result. Apparently since we had been driving for a few hours, the heat and oil caused a fire, but we had nothing to worry about. Still, I was no longer able to make fun of Joey for starting the fire at Pizza Delight. Oh well, it was a good 24 hours.

And so, another great flea marketing trip was behind us. We traveled hundreds of kilometers, picked up some treasures from our childhood, and made fun of each other every step of the way. While we may be a year before SussexSpite III, you can bet that we will be more than ready when the time comes. After all, it is solely because of the training, the prayers, and the vitamins that we were able to overcome all odds and one up the Inferiors again. Well, there’s probably another twenty reasons in there too, but this article’s getting pretty long. Plus I still haven’t showed off my goods!

Wow, look at all that great stuff. Action Figures, Wrestling magazines, Michael Jackson Mirror, comics, 80s glasses, and a whole lot more. Don’t you wish you went to SussexSpite2? Its well worth the drive. No matter where you live!