“Jace, you can’t really expect me to touch that thing, right?” Julie whined as she pointed to the small fish dangling from the end of her pole.
“I didn’t make you put the worm on, be thankful.”
“But…”
“You know, if you just hold it there, it’s going to die.”
“JC!”
“Fine,” I laughed, carefully unhooking the blue gill and tossing it into the lake. “It’s too small to eat anyway.”
“We’re going to eat them!”
“Well, yeah.”
“Ugh!”
“You’ve had fish before, Julz.”
“I know. I’ve also had a hamburger, but I didn’t kill the cow.”
“We won’t make you cut its head off or anything, don’t worry.”
“I can’t believe you do this for fun.”
“We could try and catch cod fish or something but I don’t think we would be too successful with worms.”
“Can’t we do something else?”
“Julie, come on. Look where you are for just one second,” I said as I waved my arm across the bright blue water. “It’s beautiful up here. Get your mind out of the mall and just relax.” I stepped behind her and began to rub her shoulders.
“Relax?”
“Just relax.”
“Okay.”
“Are you relaxed now?”
“Uh-huh,” she smiled as I turned her around to face me.
“Good. Then you can put a new worm on your pole.”
“I don’t even like fishing,” she said, dropping the pole on the shore.
“Then why did you agree to come? You knew that we were gonna be fishing.”
“I know, but…” She sat down on the towel she laid out earlier and buried her head in her hands.
“Spit it out, Julz,” I said, joining her.
“It’s just that this whole trip isn’t exactly turning out the way it was supposed to be.”
“How so?”
“Well, we haven’t spent an ounce of time alone. That was the whole purpose of coming up here. With so much time spent apart from each other this summer, it would be nice if for a second it was just the two of us.”
“It hasn’t been that bad.”
“Yes, it has. And you totally blew me off last night,” she said angrily.
“Listen, I already told you, I’m sorry. You know how I get when I’m involved with something.”
“It wasn’t so much that.”
“Then what?”
“What am I supposed to think when I wake up to find you sleeping with Emily?”
“You were in my bed so I took yours, and it wasn’t like I was sleeping with her, there was a whole room between us.”
“Honestly, JC, that’s not the point. It’s the whole principle of it all.”
“Principle! What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’d rather sleep in the same room as her than with me.”
“Jesus Christ!” I said, standing up. “This is ridiculous! I wasn’t about to hop into bed with you before consulting you first. And it was just Emily.”
“Just Emily?” she yelled as she jumped up. “Just Emily? Shit, JC, you could say practically anything and put ‘It’s just Emily’ at the end. Yeah, we were holding hands, but it’s just Emily. So what if we kissed, it’s just Emily. Hey! Hey! We got married, but it’s just Emily.”
“You are taking this way out of perspective.”
“Am I really?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, walk a day in my shoes, Jace. My boyfriend is so blind that he can’t even see when he’s in love with his best friend.”
“I am not in love with her! God! Why do people think that?”
“Let me finish. My boyfriend hangs on every word she says, but can’t see to hear the simplest thing from me. He’s so stupid and naïve that while he’s pining after one girl he doesn’t see the one in front of him,” she said, putting her hand on her chest. “I’m right here, but you don’t seem to give a damn.”
“Julz, it’s not like that. First of all, I’m not in love with Emily. Second, I do hear you, loud and clear. Last night I got really into the music. It happens, and you know that. I apologize. And third,” I said, taking her hands in mine, “I do care for you, a lot. I haven’t told you that recently, and I deserve to be yelled at, but there is no reason to be worried. Em and I are just friends.”
“Okay, but sometimes it seems…”
“There is absolutely no reason to worry or be jealous of the relationship Emily and I have.”
“I’m not jealous!”
“If…”
“JC! This has nothing to do with jealousy! Both of you play this stupid game, and you don’t even realize it! I’m sick of this,” she yelled, turning around and stomping off through the woods.
“Julz, come back! Julie!” I called after her, but soon she was out of sight. “Why can’t anything work out right?” I yelled into the sky before picking up the poles and other equipment and heading back to the cabin.
“Okay, guys,” Lance said as he cleared the table from dinner that night. “I say that tonight we just relax.”
“I second that notion,” Shannon said as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Cut it out you two,” I mumbled from my spot on the couch.
“Sorry, C,” Lance sighed, stepping away from his girlfriend and placing some dishes in the sink.
“What’s wrong?” Shannon asked.
“Nothing.”
“He got in a fight with Julie,” Justin said, stepping into the room.
“Oh,” she smiled sympathetically at me. “Why don’t you go talk to her? We’re here for, like, six more days. You can’t stay mad the whole time.”
“I say it’s about time the two of you go into a real fight,” Justin said, sitting across from me.
“You let her boss you around too much.”
“I do not.”
“Be a man, JC.”
“Justin, shut up,” I snapped.
“Sorry.”
“I’ll be back,” I mumbled as I headed toward Julie’s room. There was a point to what Shannon had said. We were there for six more days. If she stayed mad at me for the whole time, the remainder of the trip would be horrible for the both of us. “Julz?” I asked, knocking on the door.
“Go away.”
“Come on,” I said, coming into the room. “You know I didn’t mean anything bad when I said that.”
“I said go away,” she mumbled with her head buried in her pillow.
“Julz, I know you’re not jealous. I just used the wrong word.”
“You just don’t get it, Jace, do you?” she said as she sat up to look at me.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m never jealous of anything. Never. I have anything I’ve ever asked for. My parents have given me everything. And I’m supposed to have you. Yeah, I may be the one who gets to kiss you and hug you and that stuff, but the relationship the two of you have is so different. At times, just the way you look at her is worth a thousand kisses, and I am jealous of that.”
“Julie, listen to me,” I said after taking in everything she had said. “It may seem like that to you, but it’s completely different. To me, just one kiss from you is worth a thousand looks from her.”
“Really?”
“Of course,” I said as the sinking feeling in my stomach grew deeper. I knew it was no longer the truth.
The early morning sun shone down upon me as I made my way across the sandy beach. The cool water washed up against my feet repeatedly as I watched a small sailboat glide across the surface. In nature things were peaceful and calm. On the inside of me, on the other hand, things felt like a raging hurricane.
“Josh!” Emily called from the other end of the shore. She ran toward me as I sat down in the sand. “There you are.” She fell down next to me. “You wanted to talk to me?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothing much,” I lied. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” she said slowly. “What’s wrong?” She put her arm around my shoulder.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I mumbled as I looked at her hand. I felt amazingly right there.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“JC, I can’t help you if you aren’t going to tell me what the problem is.”
“You know how Julie and I got in a fight?”
“Yeah, but you guys made up.”
“I know. The thing is I’m not sure if I want us to be together anymore.”
“Oh,” she said, removing her arm from around me. “Why not?”
“I just don’t know how I feel about her anymore. And then…” I let my sentence trail off.
“What?”
“I don’t know how I feel about this other girl either.”
“Other girl?”
“Julie is a great girl, you know. She’s beautiful, fun, she’s a great kisser.”
“Josh, I don’t know if I’m the one you should be talking to about this.”
“But we really have nothing in common.”
“JC…”
“But this other girl is just so, I don’t know, perfect.”
“I can’t help you,” she said, getting up.
“Why not?”
“Usually when you have a problem, I’m your girl. Family, school, the guys, and for the most part girls, but I just can’t do this one.”
“But…”
“I’m sorry. I’ll see you later. I have to meet up with Joey. Bye, Josh.”
“Emily, don’t leave. You have to…”
“I can’t help you this time, Josh.” She turned around and began to run away from me down the beach.
“Maybe she’s not so perfect after all.”