“Oh my God,” I said, handing Justin a box of Goldfish crackers. “I know that girl!”
“Who?”
“Her?” I pointed to a tiny blond stick figure wearing light pink everything.
“You know her?”
“Yeah, she goes to my school. I hate her.”
“Hate is a really strong word.”
“She’s so annoying. What the hell is she doing in Rhode Island?”
“Man, your mood was improving so much.”
I saw her look in my direction and dunked behind Justin. “Oh no, what if she saw me!”
“I’m sure she didn’t.”
“Lili? Lili Stevenson? Is that you?”
“Erica Montgomery, how the heck are you?” I asked, forcing myself to smile as I emerged from my hiding spot.
“Good, as usual.”
“What brings you to Rhode Island?”
“Well, Mummy and Daddy have the winter house here.”
“I see.”
“And you?”
“Just traveling with some friends.”
“Who would this be?” she asked, looking Justin up and down, obviously impressed.
“This is my friend Randy Parker.”
“Hi, Randy. How do you know Lili?”
“We used to go out a long time ago,” he said through his scarf.
“Really? That’s kinda hard to believe,” she mumbled. “You know who you kinda look like?”
“Who?”
“Justin Timberlake from ‘N Sync.”
“I’ve never gotten that before,” he said. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.
“Really?”
“Never.”
“I would have thought with hair like that... Did you ever go see that show a few weeks ago, Lil?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“That’s too bad. They’re in town tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yup. I’ve got meet and greet passes.”
“That’s too bad,” Justin muttered.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing. You know, I heard their show is really bad.”
“Bad?”
“Yeah. I’d rather see, like, Busta Rhymes, or I don’t know, Janet Jackson. She’s a hottie.”
“Well, I’ve heard it was great. I can’t wait to see Justin in a wife beater. He’s my favorite.”
“Justin?” I asked. “He’s so puny. See, I like Joey. If only he wasn’t so dirty…” I heard a muffled laugh coming from Justin.
“Puny?”
“Yeah, but you know, JC has some really buff arms.”
“He does?”
“Oh yeah. He does. They’re beautiful. And if you think about it, Justin’s ego must be huge by now.”
“Hey!” Justin looked at me. “There’s Coke. We need some of that. I’ll be back.” He took off down the aisle.
“What a strange guy,” Erica said, shaking her head.
“Well, Erica. It was nice seeing you, but I have to go help him with the pop. He’s pretty puny, too.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at school next week.”
“Bye.”
“Bye, Lili.”
I ran down the aisle to find Justin putting pop into the basket. “Remember, we have to carry all of this back to the bus.”
“Don’t worry. I can handle it.”
“Whatever, puny boy.”
“Does this look puny to you?” he asked, flexing his muscles.
“It looks like a winter coat to me.”
“Oh come on! You know I’m strong.”
“Whatever,” I laughed, enjoying how upset he was getting.
“Fine, I’ll prove it to you.” He came from behind me as I turned to walk down the aisle and scooped me into his arms.
“Justin! Put me down. We’re in a grocery store!” I hissed, grasping his neck for dear life before I crashed into a stand of graham crackers. I turned to him and stopped struggling immediately as I found myself inches away from his face. I lifted his sunglasses into his hair and let myself stare at those crystal blue eyes that were so familiar to me. Only now they showed so much sadness and hurt inside. “Justin…”
“W-we have to…”
“OH MY GOD! IT’S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!” A shriek echoed in my ears momentarily as
Justin quickly put me down and slid his sunglasses back to his face.
“I knew this was a bad idea,” he mumbled under his breath as three young girls raced over to him. “Hi, girls,” he smiled.
“Oh my gosh. I love you so much. Will you sign this for me?” a short red head squealed as she shoved a piece of paper and a pen in his face.
“Of course I will.”
“No one will ever believe that we saw you,” she continued, her friends too shocked to speak.
“This is so unbelievable. We’re going to your show tonight.”
I sank into the background as two more people joined the small crowd. They were all talking a mile a minute, asking him thousands of questions, but never giving him enough time to answer. I didn’t give him enough credit. He was stronger than I thought. -
“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” I prayed.
“Hello?”
“Ben! You’re alive!”
“Hey, Lili.”
“How are you?”
“I’ve been better.”
“I haven’t talked to you in almost a week.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Have you talked to Drew yet?”
“Nope.”
“Then I’ll get to the point of my phone call.”
“You and Justin getting married?”
“Ben, come on. Be serious, will you?”
“Fine.”
“You know how Justin and I were keeping it all a secret?”
“Were?”
“Yeah. On Christmas, Drew sorta found out, and to make long story short, Justin and I are, uh, just friends now.”
“Y-you are?”
“Yeah,” I said sadly. “Oh, you’ll never guess who I saw at the store today.”
“Who?”
“Erica Montgomery.”
“Isn’t that that one chick that always wears pink and talks about her mummy and daddy’s old money?”
“That would be the one.”
“Why is she in… wait, where are you?”
“Rhode Island.”
“Why is she in Rhode Island?”
“Cause this is where Mummy and Daddy’s winter house is.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No. We were getting goldfish crackers and I saw her. I tried to hide, but I couldn’t.”
“That bitch has radar. I swear. You remember that one party where she followed me around?”
“Yup.”
“She’s so annoying.”
“Guess what else happened.”
“What?”
“Hunter came to check up on me.”
“He did?”
“Yeah. When I was in Boston, he came to play big brother.”
“Man, Hunter’s cool though.”
“I don’t need my brother around. I’m a big girl.”
“He must have had his reasons.”
“He did, but still.” I paused. “ And you know what else?”
“Huh?”
“I lost my journal.”
“You lost your journal?”
“Yes.”
“You actually let it out of your sight?”
“I know. I would die if anyone read it.”
“Wow.”
“But enough about me. What’s been happening with you?”
“Nobody at youth group believed me when I told them where you were.”
“Understandable.”
“And Jordan was by himself on Christmas cause Pat, I don’t know where he was, and I had to go to Aunt Linda’s…”
“How is Aunt Linda?”
“Great. She asked about you.”
“She did?”
“Yup. She wanted to know where her little Ophelia was.”
“Oh, I love her so much.”
“Me too. But back to my story. He almost burned the gas station down.”
“Did Pat fire him?”
“Surprisingly no.”
“Wow.”
“I know. It’s so crazy. Uh, Lili, could you wait one sec? I have someone on the other line.”
“Okay.”
“Hello?” he said a few minutes later.
“Hello. This is Nancy from Victoria’s Secrets. We were curious to find out if you wanted to renew your subscription to our catalogue.”
“Oh God, yes. Nancy, you are my hero.”
“Who was it?”
“It’s Uncle Freddie.”
“Eh.”
“Exactly. He needs to talk to my mom, so I have to go.”
“Oh, okay. Bye, Benny.”
“Bye, Lili. Thanks for calling.”
“No problem. I’ll see you in a few days.”
“I’m counting on it.”
“Man, JC. We do not want to watch ‘My Fair Lady,’” I sighed.
“This is a classic. Besides, Joey will watch it with me, right?”
“Man, of course. I love Audrey Hepburn.”
“Plus, I had the remote first.”
“But there’s nothing else to do.”
“Go talk to someone.”
“They’re all sleeping.”
“No, I think Lili’s doing homework in the front,” JC said.
“She is?”
“Yup.”
“Lili or an old movie where they burst into song mid-sentence? I’ll see you guys later.”
“Hey, Justin?” Joey stopped me.
“Huh?”
“Are you two ever going to get back together?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Joey.”
“What’s wro…”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I said, closing the door behind me. I shook off the confusion that was threatening to reenter my head with remembering the scene earlier in the grocery store. I wasn’t exactly sure what had happened between us. Having Lili in my arms again, feeling her that close, was unbelievably painful. We were supposed to be friends now. That’s what she wanted. The thing was, friends don’t look at you the way she looked at me.
“Man, Lili, you should have seen the look on Erica’s face when I…” I looked at the table. She was fast asleep on her math book. “…introduced myself as Randy Parker.”
She looked incredibly peaceful, her legs curled underneath her, and her pencil still in hand. I stood there for a second watching her sleep. I probably could have all night, but sleeping at a table isn’t the most comfortable place as I had learned from experience. I gently slid my arms around her as I picked her up and carried her to her bunk. After tucking her in, I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Good night, Lili.”
“I love you, Justin,” she said quietly. Her soft words threw me off. I don’t know if she was dreaming or if she knew I was there. I simply stared down at her sleeping body and slowly began to smooth her hair as it lay on her pillow, finally realizing just what all my confusion inside meant.
“I love you too,” I whispered before crawling into bed. -
“Oreo-O’s have got to be the greatest creation on the face of this planet. I don’t know who thought it up, but who ever it was, they are my hero.”
“Justin, it’s amazing that you don’t weigh as much as this bus,” James said as he drove us to the venue.
“Nah, I work it all off,” I laughed, taking a big bite of my cereal. “I could eat this stuff all day.”
“You do,” JC said, sitting down on the other side of the table. “You seem to be in a good mood this morning, Sunshine.”
“I slept well.”
“How was your fair lady last night.”
“Sleeping,” I said, finishing off the bowl.
“Sleeping?”
“Yup. Right here on her math book.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“How, pray tell, did she get to her bunk?”
“I carried her.”
“Ah, Romeo lives on.”
“Please, we are not back together. As a matter of fact, I think I’m over her.”
“Liar.”
“I am not a liar.”
“You are nowhere near over her.”
“Yes, I am. She could go make out with Lance right now, and I wouldn’t care.” He looked at me with one eyebrow raised. “Okay, I’m lying.”
“Justin, who are you trying to fool?”
“Myself,” I mumbled sheepishly.
“Jesus Christ!”
“Where is Lance right now?”
“I think he just took Lili to his bunk…”
“JC!”
“I’m kidding. He’s talking on the phone in his bunk, Joey’s sleeping, Chris is playing with Busta, Drew is about to come out here to do homework, and Lili is frantically searching for her journal in the back.”
“Oh! I found it.”
“You did?” he asked, giving me the ‘I don’t believe a word you are saying’ look.
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure you ‘found’ it?”
“Are you accusing me of taking it? Give me some credit, JC.”
“Okay. Go give it to the girl before she has a heart attack.”
“Can’t I have one more bowl of cereal first?”
“Go!”
“Yes, sir.” I walked to my bunk and reached into my back pack, pulling out the blue book I had been secretly carrying around with me for the past few days. After taking a deep breath, a slowly made my way to the back.
“Come on, Busta. Let’s go visit everyone up front,” Chris said when he saw me standing in the doorway, shooting me a wink.
“Thanks, Chris.”
“I know it has to be somewhere on this bus!”
“What?” I asked, closing the door behind me.
“My journal.”
“This?” Lili looked up quickly.
“Oh my God!” She grabbed it from my hand. “Where was it?”
“It somehow got mixed up with my stuff. I found it in my book bag.”
“You didn’t read it, did you?”
“No. I can honestly say I was tempted to, but…”
“Oh my gosh. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m so glad to have it back. I could kiss you right now.”
“Then why don’t you?” I asked, gently lifting her chin up, shifting her gaze from her journal to me.
“Justin, I…”
“I what?”
“It’s a figure of speech. Besides, it’s not that easy. I just got back my relationships, and things are back to normal, and we’re doing so good as just friends.”
“Who are we trying to kid with being just friends? It doesn’t make sense.”
“I know, but…”
“Everyone is waiting for us to get back together.”
“You have no idea how much I would love to just come back to you and be with you and kiss you. I’ve missed all that so much, but…”
“Lili, you wanna be with me, I wanna be with you, so why aren’t we together?”
“Justin,” she said, sitting me down. “When I first met you, I thought you’d meet Drew and forget about me. That’s kinda what I hoped would happen. I never thought in a million years that anything serious would come about. I never thought I would see you again after you guys stayed that night. I never expected that I…” She stopped.
“That you what?”
“Never mind,” she said, sitting down.
“Please just be straight with me, Lili.”
She closed her eyes tightly as a tear slid down her cheek. “I never expected that I would fall in love with you,” she cried. “And I never thought it would hurt so much being without you, even for a few days, and I’m so scared of how I’m going to feel at the end of this week when you walk out of my life.”
“I’m not going to walk out of your life,” I said, hugging her.
“Be realistic. We lead two completely different, separate lives.”
“But there’s letters, and e-mails, and phone calls.”
“None of which are the same as you, and this is why I want to be friends. I’ll be able to deal with a phone call once a month, you know? Then I’ll hopefully forget all these feelings, and I’ll move on, and it will all be okay.”
“I don’t want to forget everything I’m feeling,” I said, trying to gain my composure before I broke down. “I’m in love with you too, Lili. I have been since I first saw you when I walked into that gas station, and it has only grown deeper as the days go by. I know it would be hard, but I don’t think I can deal with us not being more than friends any longer.”
“Justin...”
“Hey, stop crying,” I whispered, wiping the tears off of her cheeks. “I don’t want to push you into anything. Okay? You know how I feel, so come talk to me when you know what you want do.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. I’ll leave you and your journal alone now,” I said, kissing her softly on the cheek.