“I still can’t believe they called you the resident Romeo on stage last night,” I said between kisses.
“They’ll humiliate me every chance they get. It’s their job.”
“I’m so sorry about the card.”
“I’m never going to live that one down.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I loved it.”
“That’s all that matters to me.”
“You don’t have to go, do you?” I asked Justin as we stood outside of his room saying good bye before the boys left for the morning. Business called.
“We have to do some press stuff.”
“Can’t we just stay right here?”
“We could, but what would we do when Drew wakes up?”
“Oh, just hide in your room for awhile.”
“I wish I could just stay here and hold you and kiss you forever.”
“Me too.”
“OW! Good show, Romeo!” We turned around to find the other four members of ‘N Sync leaning against the opposite side of the hallway watching us.
“I especially love the little kiss every four syllables,” Chris said.
“Two thumbs up,” smiled JC.
“Four stars,” Joey nodded.
I could feel my face burning. It wasn’t so much that they found us, cause we weren’t hiding. It was more because they were scoring our performance.
“Lili, I’m sorry, but we have to take Justin away from you. It’s business,” laughed JC.
“Okay,” I said as he turned to go to his friends. “Wait, wait, wait. One more.” I pulled him back to me quickly.
“Jesus Christ, Justin. She said one more, not five.”
“Okay, I’m coming,” he said, rolling his eyes at his friends. “Bye, Lili.” He took my hand and kissed it lightly before walking down the hall.
“You’re such a fag, Justin.”
“Man, shut up!” He looked at me quickly and mouthed good bye right before his friends pulled him to the elevator, leaving me all alone.
“And there was one.” I slid back into my room quietly, trying not to wake Drew up. “What to do, what to do?” It was ten o’clock. I had already written in my journal, made my Christmas shopping list, got cleaned up, and everything else I could do. The only thing left that I could think of was homework, and I knew there was something better.
I collapsed on my bed in shear boredom and my gaze fell to the nightstand. My locket from Ben was sitting there staring at me.
“Ben,” I sighed. I reached over to my purse and took my calling card out of my wallet.
“Hello?” said a groggy voice on the other side once I had dialed his number.
“It’s ten here, so it’s 11 there. Why the heck are you still sleeping?”
“Lili!”
“Hey there, Benny. What’s up in Michigan?”
“Nothing much.”
“Happy Christmas Eve.”
“You too. How’s it, uh, going?”
“Good. Things are really pretty good.”
“It’s only been three days,” he said quickly. “Anyway, I have to tell you, the butane has been coming in pretty handy. I’ve been bored out of my mind.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure you’re really busy, you know, you and Justin.”
“Sorta. We kinda decided to keep things on the down low.”
“Why?”
“It’s much less complicated that way.”
“Is it cause he doesn’t want the press to know he has a girlfriend? That’s such bull shit. Why bother being with someone when you can’t be with them all the time. It’s useless.”
“No, I asked him to do it, but it’s not as bad as you would think. We have this secret relationship. It’s romantic.”
“Sure.”
“I’m serious. He sent me lilies. They’re so beautiful. And the card was so…”
“I thought you always hated that romance crap.”
“I guess I did, but…”
“This is the girl who used to sit and make fun of Drew with me for going ‘ga ga’ over some guy? This is the girl who goes bowling with me on Valentine’s day, the most unromantic thing we could think of?”
“Ben…”
“What’s happened to you? You’ve changed, Stevenson.”
“I have not. I always though the romance stuff was stupid cause I just never really had anybody to share it with.”
“You had me,” he said quietly. I didn’t know what to say. There was complete silence in the room except for Drew’s light breathing yet his words were so loud that I couldn‘t hear myself think. “Listen, Lili. Do you know how long I’ve liked you? Do you?”
“Don’t go into this right now, Ben.”
“Three years. I have loved you for three years, and I swear, I have the worst timing in the world. Right when I get the courage to do something about the way I feel, Mr. Big-Shot Justin Timberlake comes along and sweeps you off your feet. So now instead of being here with me, you’re with that prick.”
“Prick! Ben, Justin is far from being a prick. You never gave him a chance.”
“Why would I have?”
“I’m sorry that you have these feelings for me…”
“I’m not.”
“And I’m sorry that I just realized this the day I left, but…”
“How could you have left?”
“What?”
“How could you have found all this out and then leave for two weeks?”
“How could I not? I had major doubts about going because of this whole situation with Drew and this thing with you. It’s all so complicated, but this is a once in a life time opportunity: going on tour with ‘N Sync, taking a chance on this relationship. Come on, I would have been stupid not to have gone.”
“What about taking a chance on our relationship? Huh, Lili? Did you ever think of that?” he said angrily.
“I didn’t have a chance to!” I said, beginning to become irritated with him. “You sprang this whole thing on me a few hours before I left. Plus, the thing with Justin had already started at the point. You confused things so much for me, Ben.”
“Well, I’m sorry to have inconvenienced your life. I’ll see ya when you get back. Have a nice Christmas.”
“Ben, wait!” I cried, but it was too late. I slammed the phone down and slumped down in an angry lump.
“Lili? Was that Ben?” Drew asked from her bed.
“Uh, yeah,” I said, sitting up quickly. “How much did you hear?” I asked cautiously. I had mentioned Justin more than a few times.
“Just the ‘Ben, wait!’” she said, lifting herself up. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Lili...”
“Okay,” I sighed, “you know how you’re constantly saying that Ben likes me, so we should just hook up?”
“Oh my God! Is he Romeo?”
“No! Not at all. But the thing is when I went to go see him the day we left, he gave me that locket.”
“I was going to ask you about that last night. It’s really nice.”
“I know. He just now told me how he feels, and it really confuses everything for me and, um, Romeo.”
“Does Ben know about this guy?”
“Yeah.”
“Does the guy know about Ben?”
“Not really.”
“And you’re pretty serious about this guy?”
“Yeah.”
“Then tell Ben to screw it. He has bad timing.”
“It’s Ben. I can’t do that to him.”
“Then I don’t know what to tell ya, sweetie. If you’re serious about this guy, then what can you do?”
“Nothing easy.”
“Don’t worry. Things will work out how they’re supposed to. I’m a firm believer in that. So in the mean time, tell me who this Romeo guy is.”
“No!”
“Come on.”
“Drew, I’m not telling you who he is.”
“Lance, right?”
“Lance?”
“Why do you sound so shocked?”
“Well, Lance and me aren’t exactly close.”
“But the way he looks at you.”
“The way he looks at me? What are you talking about?”
“You don’t see that?”
“There’s nothing to see.”
“It’s the whole Ben thing all over again. Don’t take three years to figure this one out. I’m telling you, Lance likes you, girl.”
“Oh, no, it’s not Lance. We’re friends. That’s it.” Lance was definitely a nice guy and all, and yes, originally he was my favorite member of the group, but he was not for me.
“Okay, what about uh… JC, Joey, and Chris are all kinda too old.”
“Yeah.”
“And it’s not Justin.”
“Right,” I said quickly.
“Is it that one guy who works for them? What’s his name? Travis? No. Terry? No.”
“Tom?”
“Yeah, Tom.”
“No, but you’d make a cute couple with him.”
“Forget him. I have Justin to worry about. Lili?” she began as a serious tone came into her voice. “You’ve kinda known him longer, and things just aren’t going as well as I had hoped. Do you think he likes me? I mean, do I have a chance?”
“Well, um, good question.” What are you supposed to say to your best friend when she asks you if she has a chance with the guy you’re secretly involved with? What do you do?
“Come on. You stayed up until, what, five talking with him. You have to know something.”
“How did you know that?”
“It came up. So?”
“Well, I guess I kinda got that, uh, he didn’t really want a relationship right now.”
“Oh. But what about that girl he was talking about during truth or dare? That has to be someone.”
“Yeah, it does, but who knows who it is? It could be somebody from home, or someone he used to know or anybody.”
“But…”
“Listen, Drew. I really don’t know what to tell you.”
“Okay.”
“Sorry,” I said, feeling as though I had just stabbed a knife into Drew’s back.
“Ozzie! Come here, boy!” I said as I walked through the front door and saw my terrier.
“Roof!” He ran towards me, and I leaned over to pet him.
“Oh, I’ve missed you, boy. Yeah, I have.” I heard laughing behind me and turned to see Lili and Drew covering their mouths with their hands. “What?”
“The love that can only be found between a boy and his dog,” laughed Lili.
“Guys, this is Ozzie,” I said, standing back up. “Ozzie, these two lovely ladies are Lili and Drew. Be nice to them, okay?”
“Roof!” It felt so good to be home on some familiar territory. The energy around Christmas time at my house was unbelievable. Walking into the living room to see the large tree covered in lights and garland covering just about everything was awesome. Now all I needed was to find my parents.
“Mom!” I called. “Mom! Dad! Hello! Your absolutely wonderful son is home!”
“Justin?” My mom stepped around the corner of the kitchen.
“Mom!” I ran up to her and gave her a big hug. “How are you?”
“Good, sweetie. How is my absolutely wonderful son?” she said in a thick southern accent.
“Glad to be home.”
“How are the boys?”
“Good. We kicked Joey out of the group for being dirty, but we decided to let him back in just to be nice.”
“How sweet of you. Now, who are these two beautiful young ladies behind you?”
“Oh, sorry. Mom, this is Drew.”
“Hi.”
“Hello.” She shook Drew’s hand.
“And this is my…” I stopped myself from saying my girlfriend. “This is Lili.”
“Hi, Mrs. Harless. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too. Are you the one whose house the boys stayed at?”
“Yes.”
“Have they been treating you alright?”
“Pretty good,” she said, flashing me a smile. My mom put her arms around the girls’ shoulders and led them away, talking.
“Okay, that’s alright! Just take my friends away from me. I’m just going to go to my room. Alone. By myself. Don’t worry about me!” I called after them.
“You’ll get over it, Justin!” I heard my mom yell back. I picked up my bags and went into my room. It was exactly the same as I left it. Messy.
“Oh shit. I don’t wanna clean this up.” I dropped my bags against the wall and began to pick clothes up that were scattered around the room. The last time I was home was Thanksgiving, and I had left in a hurry. While I was shoving the clothes into a basket someone knocked on the door.
“Hey, Justin. Nice to see ya, buddy.”
“Hi, Dad,” I said to my stepfather as he came into my room, followed happily by Ozzie.
“Who are the two girls you brought home with you?”
“The blond is Drew, and the brunette who’s really beautiful is Lili.”
“The brunette who’s really beautiful? New girlfriend Justin?”
“You could say that.” I said, feeling my face getting red. “But you can’t say anything.” I got up quickly and shut the door.
“Why not?”
“Cause her friend doesn’t know, and Lili doesn’t want her to cause Drew likes me or something like that.”
“Seems like a pretty complicated situation you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“It’s not that bad, really. I know it’s not the best situation, but I can tell it’ll all be worth it. She’s a cool girl. I don’t mind keeping it a secret.”
“Do the guys know?”
“Yeah.”
“So everyone knows except for Drew?”
“Well, not everyone on the crew knows.”
“Justin, you guys expect to keep things a secret for how long?”
“I have confidence it will all be fine.”
“Justin. Knock, knock. Can we come in?” said an annoyingly familiar voice.
“That’s Drew,” I said to my dad before opening the door, and the girls walked in.
“Oh, hey,” Lili said. “I hope we weren’t interrupting anything. If you want us to go, we can go talk with your mom some more. I think she was just about to break out some photo albums…” She turned to leave.
“Lili, wait! No. Come on back. There’s no need for those to come out,” I said, running over to them. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room. “Guys, this is my step dad, Paul Harless. Dad, this is Drew and Lili.”
“Nice to meet you, girls.” He caught my eye and lowered his gaze to my hand that was still holding on to Lili’s. I quickly dropped it and stuck my hands into my pockets. “Well, I’ll leave you three alone. No need to have an old man like me hanging around.”
“It was nice meeting you, Mr. Harless,” Lili smiled sweetly.
“Likewise,” he said, winking at me as he left the room.
“So,” I said, continuing to pick up my clothes, “what do you guys want to do?”
“It’s your house, Justin,” Drew said. “What’s there to do?”
“We could watch TV, eat, oh, I could show you my car.” I loved my car. It was a burgundy Mercedes M-class, definitely my baby.
“No, that’s okay.”
“Sure?”
“Positive.”
“Okay. We could play pool,” I suggested.
“I suck at pool,” Lili groaned. “I can’t even hold the pole right. It’s so sad. Every time I play at my aunt’s house, my little ten-year-old cousin whips me so bad. I’m pathetic.”
“I could teach you how to play.”
“Are you up for the challenge?” she laughed.
“Always.”
“What about you, Drew? Up for a game of pool?”
“Actually, no. I’m still really tired. Could I lay down for awhile?”
“Sure. You can sleep in here if you don’t mind the mess.”
“My room is worse.”
I looked around and found that hard to believe. “If you say so.”
“See you later, Drew.”
We walked out of the room closing the door behind us. “Sorry,” I whispered to Lili. “I guess I kinda forgot I was holding your hand.”
“That was really close,” she sighed. “But she didn’t notice, so we should be okay. Now come teach me how to play pool.”
“Yes, ma’am.” We walked down the stairs to the rec room where the pool table was. I picked up a stick, racked and broke the balls.
“Okay. Lesson one: holding the stick.”
“And what a very important lesson it is.”
“Exactly. So…” I said, handing her the cue stick, “what you’re going to do is this.” I wrapped my arms around her. “Put your hand back here.” I placed my hand on top of hers and slid it towards the end of the stick.
“Okay.”
“And take the other hand and put it up towards the top.”
“I see.”
“You’re gonna want to be able to slide the stick between your fingers,” I said, tightening my grasp around her. “Just find what’s most comfortable for you.”
“Don’t worry, I’m comfortable.”
“Okay, now hit the ball.”
“Just hit it?”
“Yeah.”
“You make it sound entirely too easy.”
“Hit it.” She slid the stick through her fingers, and the ball skidded across the table.
“That didn’t look right,” she sighed.
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“I think the problem is that I’m having an incredibly hard time concentrating on the ball with your arms around me.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Absolutely not.”
“I think it may just need some chalk,” I said, taking the stick from her hands.
“Okay.” I twisted the little blue cube of chalk on the tip and turned to walk back to her. “Stay back,” she warned.
“Why would I do that?”
“Cause you have chalk all over your hands.”
I looked down at my fingers. “What’s your point?” I asked, taking a step closer.
“My point being,” she began, lifting herself onto the pool table to get way from me, “the guys gave me this sweater this morning…”
“You look so good in that sweater.”
“And it’s white. Now, Justin, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but blue shows up on white.”
“I know.”
“So don’t come near me.”
“See, I’m having a hard time doing that cause, like I said, you look really good.”
“And you look really good too, but I’m still trying to stay away from you.”
“You’re a girl. You have more self-control. Me, on the other hand, I’m a guy.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“What foul language coming from such nice lips.” I took another step closer so that I was now directly in front of her.
“Justin...”
“You really do have nice lips, Lili,” I said. I gently traced her cheek with my fingers, leaving a pale blue trail where they had touched.
She reached behind her and grabbed another cube, putting chalk on the tip of her finger and drawing a line down my nose.
“That’s it,” I said. I made another line on her face as I pulled her to me and kissed her softly.
“I like this much better than pool,” she whispered.
“Me too,” I said, going back to her. I really did. I absolutely loved kissing Lili, just being with her. She fit perfectly in my arms, and it always felt so right, a feeling I had never experienced with another girl.
“Justin, man, your mom let me in… or I could just go talk to her and come back in a few minutes,” a familiar voice said.
I pulled away slightly and looked over my shoulder to see a tall guy with spikey brown hair turning out of the room quickly. “Nah, man. That’s okay.” I kissed Lili once more and walked over to him. “Long time no see, Mikey.”
“Tell me about it. I would have thought you were abducted by aliens if I didn’t see your ugly face everywhere.”
“Sometimes I wish that was the case,” I groaned, pulling him into a quick hug. I hadn’t seen my best friend from home in at least three months, another ‘perk’ of being on the road.
“So,” he said, lowering his voice so only I could her, “who is that? Where did you find her? And does she have a sister?”
I looked back at Lili, still sitting on the pool table with her feet dangling, and smiled to myself. “That is Lili Stevenson. I met her in Michigan, and she only has an older brother, but her best friend Drew is sleeping upstairs. Feel free to take her away.”
“Okay, okay. Uh, Jay,” he paused, looking at me strangely, “you do know that the chalk is for the sticks, right?”
“Not always, my friend, not always.”