I watched as my picture of Lance slid behind my closing eyelids. It was etched into my memory, however, the thought, the knowledge, that I was about to kiss Lance, those were his finger gently massaging my hand, that was his breath against my cheek. I smiled to myself, waiting for the moment it would finally occur.
The loud sound of the hotel door slamming open caused the both of us to jump back quickly before our lips could meet. We turned to see an worn-out Alex fall to the floor.
“I won!” This declaration was made shortly before a laughing Justin entered the room. “I told you I’d win!”
“You had a head start.”
“You’re just a sore loser.”
“I’m sorry to break this to you, Red, but I let ya win because of your ankle.”
“Sore loser.”
He simply laughed it off before sauntering confidently into the room. He stopped when he saw Lance and I staring at him through aggravated eyes. A large grin slid across his face as his calmly folded his arms across his chest. “Looks like we interrupted a little something, Alex.”
“No, not at all,” I mumbled, praying my face wasn’t as red as I thought it was.
“Uh, yeah, Jay. You knew I was heading over here to bring her some soup.” He looked over to me where the small bowl was dangerously slanted, ready to spill across my legs. He took it from me and carefully placed the lid in its place.
“It was really good soup, too,” I added quickly.
“I’m sure it was,” he smirked.
Alex stood next to him in a similar stance and looking at me thoroughly. “We definitely interrupted them. She has that look on her face.”
“Alex!”
“You do, Liz.”
“Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed. “Can we please not talk about this? How was TRL?”
“Probably not as good as the soup.”
“Shut the fuck up, Justin,” Lance mumbled, glaring at his friend.
“Okay, okay, okay.” Alex came over to me before pushing Lance out of her way with her crutches. I watched as he moved to where Justin stood, immediately slapping him in the back of his head. “It was so funny. Chris still hasn’t moved his arms. He couldn’t wave. He couldn’t shake Carson’s hand. He looks hilarious when he walks. It reminds me of a waddling penguin. He’s trying to come up with some devious plan to get you back. I’d watch out if I were you.”
“Like me being sick isn’t enough?” I whined.
“How are you feeling, sweetie?”
“I’m doing a little better, I think. I’m a little light headed still.”
“You gonna be better by tomorrow?” Justin asked, still rubbing the back of his head.
“I hope so. I think it’s just a twenty four hour thing.”
“Great, cause there’s this fair that’s going on. All the guys are going, so is Joey’s family. You two have to come.”
“We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.”
“Good. We’ll see you then. Lance and I have to go and be lectured by JC. Something about his CD’s.”
“You serious?” Lance sighed.
“Dead. I think they need to be re-alphabetized again.”
“I’m gonna kill Chris. He always thinks it’ll be hilarious to mix ‘em up. You’d think after the first two times it would get old.”
“I know, but that’s the way Chris is. Besides, I don’t think it was him, you know, because of the arm thing. We still have to go listen to the speech. Wobble, I mean, walk us out, Alex?”
“Your death is soon, J-dawg. Very very soon.”
I watched as the two of them began walking out the door together, hearing their laughter echo down the long hotel hallway. I looked over to see Lance shaking his head at the retreating couple.
“Brilliant timing as usual,” he sighed loudly. “I swear, if she doesn’t kill him, I will.”
“Lance!” Justin yelled. “Hurry up, man! Elevator’s here!”
“I know all of that boy’s secrets. One slip of the mouth, he could be gone.” Lance walked over to me before kneeling next to my bed. He slid his hand into mine and smiled. “We’ll continue that conversation on parsley and barbequed carrots soon, okay? No interruptions. No Justin and Alex. I promise.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“So will I. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“I hope so.”
“Lance!”
“Coming!” he yelled over his shoulder. “Bye, Elizabeth. Enjoy the soup.”
-
When I woke up the next morning, I was still borderline dying, but I willed myself to feel better. I loved fairs, I mean, really loved them. The whole atmosphere yelled ‘fun’. The rides, the colors, the cute little kids, I loved it all. Well, not the carnies. They always gave me the creeps. With that one exception, fairs were a great place to go and be a little kid again. I was not about to miss going to one with Lance because I felt like crap. So by the time the guys called, I was miraculously cured.
Joey was going to meet us there with his family. His place in the van was filled by Chris’ “non-girlfriend” as he was so willing to put it. With watching him and Danielle together, however, you knew that was a load of crap.
“They’re so cute,” I whispered, leaning into Lance lightly as I watched them in the seat in front of us.
“Can you see them as an old married couple?” he asked, sliding his fingers between mine.
“Chris already is old.”
“I heard that, Fairwood,” a high voice said without turning around to look at me. “You’re just asking for payback aren’t you?”
“No, it’s just, that’s not... oh never mind.” I sighed as I sank deeper into the seat, wishing I was as far way from Chris as possible. I soon got my wish once the van stopped in a full parking lot next to a glowing Ferris wheel. Lance and I parted from the group and decided to work our way from one side to the other, our first order of business therefore being a large funhouse.
I pushed him in front of me to lead the way through a maze of clear panels. After a few turns he stopped and looked around him. “Are you sure you don’t want to lead?”
“Yeah, you’re doing a great job.”
“If you say so. Let’s go this way.” He turned to his right and ran straight into the wall. He backed up, rubbing the red spot on his forehead. “That was not cool.”
“How about we go this way,” I smiled, going to the left, successfully guiding our way to the end.
“I think I’m about done with this ‘fun’ house. You wanna go to the Ferris wheel instead?”
“Sure.”
After a short time in line the two of us climbed into the cherry red cart and pulled the safety bar across our laps. Slowly the ride began moving in its course. I sat back and took in all the scenery covered in blinking lights. A smile crept across my face as the warmth of Lance’s arm around my shoulder offset the cool wind that blew through my hair. It was the perfect night.
“I love Ferris wh...” The ride stopped suddenly as we were about to reach the top of the ride. “What was that?”
“Nothing,” Lance laughed. “They’re probably letting more people onto the ride.”
I slowly peaked over the side to see if what he had said was indeed the reason why we had stopped. All I saw was the tall man running the ride talking on a walkie talkie, waving his arms around wildly.
“Lance?” I said, gripping the bar across me until my knuckles were turning white. “I think we’re stuck up here.”
“I’m sure we’ll start moving at any moment now,” he said casually.
I brought my head over the side again and knew it was a mistake. “I hate Ferris wheels.”
“Weren’t you just about to say that you loved them?”
“Well, they’re great as long as they keep moving. And now we’re stuck. At the top, nonetheless.”
“Elizabeth? Are you okay?”
I looked over at him quickly. “Just... just don’t rock the cart,” I choked out. “Okay?”
“Sure, fine,” he smiled. “Why?”
“We- we were riding one when we were like 12 or something, and we got stuck up at the top. He just kept rocking it and rocking it. I was convinced I was going to fall out. The day before I was watching the news with my brother, and they were saying how this kid once fell out of a Ferris wheel once. So I was screaming, but would he stop? No, of course not. I’ve been so afraid of getting stuck and falling out ever since. Like I said, it’s fine as long as it’s moving, but when it stops... Just don’t rock it.”
“Okay. I promise I won’t rock it, but who’s the he in the story?”
“Scott.”
He looked at me sadly before gently smiling. He pried my death grip off the rail and laced his fingers between mine as he rose my hand to his lips to kiss it softly.
“Just close your eyes, relax, and pretend you’re somewhere else.”
I did what he said as he pulled me closer, and I snuggled deeper into him, resting my head against his shoulder. I couldn’t dream of a place I would rather be at that moment.
The brim of my hat lowered as I sank deeper into the lobby chair. Various people milled about, checking in, leaving, normal hotel things. I was convinced that someone would recognize me and my whole plan would be blown right of the water.
I grabbed the New York Times from the table quickly to cover my face when I heard two familiar voices coming my way.
“I’ll see you later, Alex. Have fun shopping.”
“Yeah, I will.”
I lowered the paper to see Elizabeth walk through the hotel doors with a worn pair of rollerblades slung over her shoulder. She turned and waved in my direction. I sat up straighter, thinking she had seen me, until a hand pushed me back into my chair and whispered, “She’s waving to me. Don’t worry.”
I leaned my head against the back of the chair, looking up to my coconspirator. Alex laughed as she pulled my hat down, pushing my sunglasses into my nose.
“Ow!”
“Do you think that this disguise was going to help you blend in with the crowd? You look even more suspicious. She actually saw you and said, ‘wow, that guy looks like he came straight out of a spy movie’.”
“Did she know it was me?”
“I highly doubt it.”
“Okay, good.” I got up and pulled the hat back to its original position. “Are you ready to go?”
“Absolutely.”
Holding my arm out for her to go first through the revolving door, I finally noticed the absence of Alex’s crutches. “Is your ankle healed?”
She stopped on the street and smiled. Rising it slightly off the ground, she rotated her foot. “Perfect. It feels just like new. I was actually going to go out blading with Liz today, but then you called.”
“I’m sorry about that,” I said, hailing a cab. “It’s just that I’m trying to plan this perfect date, ya know. I want everything to be just right, and that means the perfect gift to go along with it all. Besides the usual flowers and stuff, I’m clueless on what to get girls.”
“Don’t you have a sister?”
“Yeah. I tried calling Stacey, but her and Ford were out. I got the answering machine and left some asinine message saying that I had met this amazing girl and was planning something special for her, and was incredibly nervous, and I babbled like an idiot much like I’m doing now.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s cute. I’ll have to remember to tell her how nervous and flustered you were.”
“Don’t, Alex. She can’t know about this because it’s supposed to be a surprise.”
“You’re secrets safe with me,” she smiled, patting me lightly on the back. “But before we go off on this great search for the ‘perfect’ gift for Elizabeth, could we maybe stop and get something to eat? I’m just about ready to eat my hand off.”
-
“...It was so funny,” Alex laughed, dipping a French fry into the small tub of Ranch dressing. “We were all sitting out there in her backyard waiting for her to get off the phone, and nobody wanted to blow the candles out because every time someone suggested it, somebody else said, ‘no, I’m sure she’ll be out any second.’ Needless to say, after your, what, 15 minute conversation or whatever, every single candle had melted into oblivion. There was wax all over the cake.”
“I had no idea I interrupted her birthday party. She never even hinted to the fact.”
“You just have bad timing.”
“Elizabeth didn’t sound like she minded.”
“No, she didn’t mind at all, but you just could have called at some other point. Like when we were opening presents, or maybe when we were all sitting around the fire pit, maybe when Nate was telling some pointless joke we’ve heard a million times before...”
“Nate?” I interrupted, the name standing out in my mind like a warning sign.
“Yup. He’s big on the jokes.”
“That name sounds really familiar.”
“Familiar?” she asked uneasily. Her hand stopped midway to her mouth as her fry fell back to the plate. She wiped the grease off her fingers before continuing. “I don’t know why that name would. Maybe you have a tour guy named Nate, or maybe you got a fan letter from somebody...”
“No! I know where that name is from.” My unforgettable conversation with Scott had climbed back to the forefront of my memory as did his reaction to Alex being out with Justin.
“Where?”
“Alex, who’s Nate?”
“You just said you knew where that name was from,” she said, knowingly confused.
“And why would he be upset to find out about Justin?”
Her face went pale as her eyes lowered to the table. “Wha- what do you mean?”
“Come on! You just said you knew a guy name Nate. You can’t deny that now. I’m just asking who he is.”
“How did you find out about Nate?”
“Who is he?”
“Did Elizabeth tell you about him?”
“No, somebody else did.”
“Who?”
“That’s besides the point. Why would he be mad knowing that you were somewhere with Justin?”
“He’s just a friend of mine who I go out with from time to time. It’s no big deal, and who ever told you about him should know that.”
“So you’re not going out with him or anything?”
“If you’re suggesting that I’m seeing somebody else besides your friend, you’re sadly mistaking. I don’t have it in me to even think about doing such a thing, especially to someone like Justin.”
“Do you think Elizabeth does?” I asked slowly, the feelings from that day remounting inside me. I was beginning to wonder what had made me so upset at Scott besides the derogatory comments. Was it jealousy or just plain fear that what he was saying was in fact the truth?
“Lance! How could you even think that? You know she doesn’t. Who were you talking to?”
“Nobody. It’s not important. Let’s just go.”
“Lance, just tell me.”
“No, cause you’ll be pissed off and just end up telling Elizabeth who will in turn also be pissed off, and I really don’t need two chicks pissed off at me.”
“If you don’t tell me this, I’ll tell her about the date.”
“That’s blackmail.”
“You’re in the entertainment industry, I would think you’d be used to it by now.”
“Alex...”
“I promise I won’t tell her.”
“Promise you won’t try to kill me?”
“Girl scouts honor.”
“Were you ever a girl scout?”
“Yes, now will you please get on with it.”
“Okay,” I sighed, taking a deep breath and praying to God that my death would be quick. “Well, you know how after TRL a few days ago I took Elizabeth some soup?”
“Yeah, that was when we interrupted the two of you.”
“Yes, I mean, no. Anyway, when I got there, she was still sleeping and, you know, the phone rang, so I answered it...” I got up from the red plastic booth we were sitting in and grabbed my trash from the table.
“And?”
“And Scott called, that’s all.” I turned to walk away when a small hand grabbed my sleeve and held on tight.
“Scott called?”
“Yes.”
“And I’m guessing you didn’t tell her because I would have heard about it.”
“Of course not. I mean, I know I should tell her and everything, but the guy’s such an ass. The whole time he was like, let me talk to her- I need to talk to her. He couldn’t get it through his skull that she was sleeping, and I wasn’t about to wake her up. He kept saying retarded things like ‘why are you in my girlfriend’s room?’ and I tried telling him she wasn’t his girlfriend, but once again, he couldn’t get it through his skull.”
“He called Liz his girlfriend?”
“Quite a few times actually.”
“And you didn’t tell her?”
“Listen, I know I should have, but...”
“No, this is a good thing. Don’t tell her.”
“Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. If he thinks he can just prance back in here the second he decides he was wrong or his little Barbie doll dumped his ass, I’ve got some news for him. He completely broke her heart, and I’m not about to stand around and let it happen again when she’s finally moving on with her life.”
“On to bigger and better things,” I laughed, letting a wave a relief wash over me as I realized this short redhead wasn’t about to beat my ass. I could just imagine the headlines...
“Lance, I’m serious here. You didn’t see her that next day. You didn’t see the look on her face when she saw him in that car. It killed her.”
“Trust me, I’ve seen the repercussions of that day. I know. And I don’t want to see her get hurt again either. I wouldn’t do a thing to harm her, and I’d be damned to hell before I let Scott even think about it.”
Alex stopped fidgeting and let a small smile come across her face. “I know, Lance. I know.” She slid her arm around mine and made our way out onto the crowded New York street. “How about we just forget about all this for now, and concentrate on finding her that perfect gift?”
“Thank you, Alex.”