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by: Seph Shady 
An unusual match was made in the Hawaiian Islands today. Trickster Priest Xellos Metallium and Team Rocket member James boarded a plane around 3 PM today destined towards the South Pacific, where they were joined in holy matrimony. The priest who performed the ceremony, "John" ; noted for his red robes, perpetual blindness, and bad hair, could not be reached for comment.
I was able to reach a close personal friend of Mr. Metallium's by phone. "Jane" (she wished to keep her identity a secret) as she implored us to call her, takes up residence on Wolf Pack Island. When asked on her opinions reguarding Mr. Metallium's actions, she commented, "Boys will be boys." and hung up. I was also able to contact a very close friend and co-worker of Mr. James. She didn't give us a name, but she did give us an interesting little side story. The firey red-head decked out in her pristine Team Rocket uniform, an Arbok at her side, screamed at me from behind a glass panel and struggled with the bonds of her straight-jacket. "It's not fair! He's mine! I could have sworn he wasn't gay! I spent so many years with him!!! HE'S MINE! YOU HAVE MY MARK ON YOU, THE MARK OF JESS-" she managed to holler, before the sedatives took effect and they carried her out of the room. I sighed and turned back to the main story at hand. After returning to Youkyou HQ, I managed to contact the happy couple themselves. The two had apparently booked the Honeymoon Suite in a local hotel and were just settling down for the night. The first time, Mr. James picked up the phone. When asked on what prompted the marriage, he sighed happily and replied, "What's a boy to do when he's in love?" and snickering could be heard in the background. A bit repulsed, but nonetheless intrigued, I asked him to transfer the phone to his partner. He obliged, and I asked him the same question. He replied, "Well, now that is a secret." and hung up. I tried several times afterwards to re-establish my connection with the two, but it proved quite unsucessful. After this more or less fruitless search for information, I gave up. What will be will be...and I wish the newlyweds the best of luck.  Seph Shady
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