damnit, I can't find the line in the book, but its from Camus' The Stranger. Something like a man can eventually get used to living in a tree trunk if he's there long enough. Its so fucking relevant and I can't find it in a 123 pageg book. Anyway it helps. Just sitting alone in my room and house finding petty ways to entertain myself. This is my treetrunk. I'm not really sure if it actually helps, but it keeps on repeating over and over again. Usually when i'm lonely and even just at times. How do i repeat a line if i don't know its exact words? the idea. there are no such things as words. Ideas only. Even diction, i mean you interpret the idea of the word. well non-existant in such a way that...they aren't even tools for expression. anyway this might help you later (at least the first part) if you are ever put in a tree trunk. Of course i am not an existentialist and hopefully you are not either (damn admitted basic humans), so who knows our tolerance for this. Oh actually it was Maman who said it and she's normal. Well you knwo what i mean. Don't give me that "normal" shite. ugh. Just remember the damned line.
"At the time I had often thought that if had had to live in the trunk of a dead tree, with nothing to do but to look at the sky flowering overhead, little by little i would have gotten used to it. I would have waited for birds to fly by or clouds to mingle, just as here i waited to see my lawyer's ties, and just as, in another world, I used to wait patiently until Sunday to hold Marie's body in my arms. Now, as I think back on it, I wasn't in a hollow tree trunk. There where others worse off than me. Anyway, it was one of Maman's ideas, and she often repeated it, that after a while you could get used to anything."
